| Do you have a reading comprehension problem?
Posted: 4/27/2009 10:24:00 AM | A bit testy there, were we? lol
I got the gist of what you were saying to the Ladyc4, but I could also understand why she arrived at the conclusion she did, mtn.
And I have to say, what you wrote DID sound as if it were eschewing sex outside of marriage.
Now, be fair, read YOUR post again...lol, and slow down on that coffee drinkin'..heh.
You know, they say anger is the flip side of attraction......
All those acronyms were giving me a headache.
Hey! Today is my birthday, so I thought I'd try to spread some peace..lol | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 10:29:19 AM | | No NO NO NO NO .....and NO If you can have sex with someone more than once. You are now lovers and someone is going to get attached. and it only ends badly. | |
|
| |
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 10:51:12 AM |
In my opinion, the best candidate for a functional FwB is someone you find attractive, that you genuinely like , respect, and enjoy spending time with, but there's a discrepancy of philosophy, a personality conflict, or some other interpersonal disconnect that helps you to keep the thing in perspective and avoid the pitfall of getting TOO emotionally invested.
Eactly.
And also;
I think it's a great idea. But you have to have some thing mental going on. It's nice to have intelligent conversation. I'd settle for that.
And sometimes you can encounter someone with whom, under other circumstances, a friendship COULD become a long term relationship, only the other circumstances don't exist.
As they say, though, the only constant in life....is change.
 | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 11:00:15 AM | | Sorry. Friends aren't for sleeping with. That's what relationships are for. If I slept with someone who was a friend, he'd no longer be a friend. He'd be just a guy who was out to bust a nut. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 11:08:43 AM | "Friends with benefits", i just read the OP and it was started back in 2005........
anyway, i don't think so | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 11:10:28 AM | Like most things, this isn't a black/white, right/wrong, good/bad judgment call.
There are people and situations where it would be a terrible idea. There are many other situations where it works for those involved, to whatever extent - from poorly to wonderfully.
I guess the real test of how well this works is this: if you actually were friends before engaging in a FWB relationship, are you still friends after the FWB arrangement ends? Or, perhaps, did you become friends and remain friends afterwards? (Most FWB arrangements are temporary, after all.) If you can say yes to either of those scenarios, then it was probably a successful arrangement that benefited both people.
Sometimes, you may not be friends afterwards - bad things happen to traditional friends and relationships as well. Put the blame where it truly belongs, wherever that is, not a convenient scapegoat of a FWB arrangement.
My few experiences with this have tended to the wonderful/successful end of the spectrum, and the women involved are still good friends - just no longer with benefits. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 1:20:15 PM | | I THINK THAT HAVING SEX WITH NO STRING ATTACED IS GOOD THAT WAY U ARE NOT CHEATING ON ANYONE. AND WHEN U WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH THAT PERSON THEY KNOW THAT'S ALL IT IS JUST SEX BETWEEN OUR TWO. DON'T SOMETIME U THINK 2 YOURSELF DAMN I WISH I WASN'T FRIEND WITH HIM/HER BECAUSE I WOULD TO HAVE SEX WITH THEM. BECAUSE THERE ARE A FEW OF MY FAMALE FRIENDS I WOULD LOVE TO HAVE SEX WITH. WHEN U GET READY TO BE WITH SOMEONE U WANT TO SPEAND YOUR LIFE WITH THEN HAVING A SEX BUDDY WILL GO OUT THE WINDOW UNTIL THEN I SAY HAVE FUN. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 3:55:28 PM | | I could never sleep with a woman who I am not romantically involved with. If I sleep with her, I am sending her a very important and powerful message. Nor could I ever have a relationship with a woman who would do this. It cheapens the relationship totally and tells me a lot about her values. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/27/2009 4:13:04 PM | | Does not work for me. Someone always gets too involved emotionally or you start feeling totally used and then can't be friends anymore. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 4/28/2009 1:40:30 PM | .
Aptly put Texan,
What I would like to have is an LTR (Long Term Relationship), but without cohabitating and without being married. The question is whether such a relationship is feasible and acceptable to both parties. I don't see why it can't, but it would take two special people I think. Does that make sense?
I think it is entirely feasable and, in fact, what I came here looking for.
Is it a tough thing to find and maintain? Certainly.
But nothing good comes easy, to coin a phrase.
| |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/2/2009 8:32:52 AM | Redirect. I have been tracking this thread for a while. Not to since the beginning, obviously, since as one poster noted it began long before I joined POF, but I really am interested in opinions on this.
On 4/28 I wrote the above opinion. After I did, I realized that what I had written was more real than my profile, so I went back and "reinvented" myself there.
Sometimes an opinion one has can actually take oneself by surprise and crystalize ambiguities. That's what's so great about the forum environment.
| |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:00:33 AM | I am in a friends with benefits relationship and I posted a question on here about this topic. Most women really ripped into me because I have an active profile on PoF and stated that I fell in love with my friend. It is a different animal and I thought I could handle it but I got caught up in the relationship thing and wanted more of a commitment from her. After posting my question here and getting some good feed back I went back to my friend and explained my feelings. We are still friends and hook up for drinks and fun and then we go home together and enjoy each other. We talk and are very open with each other. So I figured it out she just does not want to admit that we are in an exclusive relationship with each other and best of friends. So yes it does work but like in any RELATIONSHIP you will encounter problems it's just how you deal with them......... | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/2/2009 9:11:38 AM | Friends with benefits......"no such animal"
....this one comes under the heading of the games people play. It tends to start with something like I dont mind having sex with them..." but ".. and moves from there.
I would think that phrases such as " we have thing going on " an understanding and the one I heard from a female recently was that she had " mantainence men ".
the bottom line is sex with out commitment folks and the rest is...................
The games people play................... | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:08:37 PM | As a woman if I only have two vocation in life to select "a friend who gives benefits " ( I call it charity) or "a prostitute," I would rather be a prosti ,because I already know what the score is , * you scratch my itch, I pay your time* and a "tunnel "needs to be taken care also like going to OB Gyne, whew! these cleaning stuff is expensive.
A friend who gives benefits is like a friend who help a friend that is in need, but if that person is always in need and he is not giving any thing back the charity fund (bonding ,caring, commitment, fund for cleaning the tunnel) will deplete.
Your Qoute[ No string attached.....just meaningless sex! I think it has it's benefits! A good stress reliver I may add.]
I 've read that in order for a person to have a meaningless sex is s/he have to numb hs/hr mind by drinking alcoholic drinks or do some street drugs. the after effect of that they become unbalance that they need to go to therapist or psychiatrist.. JMO.
 | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/2/2009 6:34:26 PM | ive done it, never was happy did it for 4 yrs. all it lead to was drama, name calling, and lots of heartaches and stress!  | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/12/2009 9:44:35 AM | | I agree with Mandekay! If a guy wants to be my "friend" then why is he trying to sleep with me? I am not knocking the one nighters we have all had our moments of weekness , but if a guy sleeps with me, then wants to be "friends", he'll always want sex again and again. This could mess things up with someone I might want to date seriously. It's just not smart. Plus if sex is so casual to him, he obviously has more than one partner and that is just dirty. No thanks. | |
|
| |
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/22/2009 4:48:17 PM | | I think I have this situation now. My girl is my friend and I pleasure her sexually. She isn't a soul mate because we barely see each other, but we are good friends and have good fun when we are together. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 5/22/2009 6:26:02 PM | | I have tried the friends with benefits thing and it alway ends the same way. Someone gets attached and it goes to hell and someone gets hurt. Not a good idea. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/3/2009 11:06:07 PM | | What ever happened to taking the bad with the good? I can prove that living is the number one cause of death. Should you quit living now, because you know how it's going to turn out in the end? I've had a friend with benifits in my past that lasted over five years. We both enjoyed it with no regrets.....sure it ended, but so does everything, including life. We had a short time of pain when we decided it was time to move on, but...we had lots of good times and friendship for five years and are still friends today. So, how do you figure five years of pleasure isn't worth a couple weeks of heart ache? I wish every other investment in my life paid off so well....and she feels the same way. Would I do it again?......you're damn right I would, if we agreed to be monogamous like my last dear friend and I. It makes a hell of lot more sense than watching your life go by while you are here looking for mr. or miss perfect.. that more than likely will never show up if you are over 45. Frankly, I'm stunned that most people here find "one night stands" more acceptable or excusable than having sex with someone you're attracted to, know well and deeply appreciate. Well...I'm old and have always thought the whole damn world has gone mad anyway, I wouldn't expect anything to change my mind at this point. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/6/2009 9:57:27 PM | | yeah go for it just dont try to do it with an ex because it wont work the emotional attachment if there was one will just come back and hunt every thing to a close | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 7/1/2009 1:50:15 PM | balrog78251, This makes a lot of sense to me, and is very like what my freind and I have now.
I've had a friend with benifits in my past that lasted over five years. We both enjoyed it with no regrets.....sure it ended, but so does everything, including life. ............So, how do you figure five years of pleasure isn't worth a couple weeks of heart ache? ..........Would I do it again?......you're damn right I would, if we agreed to be monogamous like my last dear friend and I.
Sure, this arrangement isn't for eveyone, and it takes a special openness and careful communication to make it work. It has to be agreeable to both parties.
It makes a hell of lot more sense than watching your life go by while you are here looking for mr. or miss perfect.. ..... Frankly, I'm stunned that most people here find "one night stands" more acceptable or excusable than having sex with someone you're attracted to, know well and deeply appreciate.
. | |
|
| yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/16/2009 1:25:46 PM | | I have nothing against it (those the kind I like. LOL.). As long as the two of you put it in it's proper perspective and be respectful and real with each other. Take it from me I know from experience. | |
|
| |
Home
login 
