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 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1075
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!Page 44 of 44    (4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44)

Women also get STD's more than men, it is simple biology.

So enjoy it.


So who do you suppose these women are getting the STD's from?

and guess what?!
Some of us are responsibles sluts!!
Even carry my own condoms!
~insertGaspingSmiliehere~
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 1076
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/2/2010 5:47:00 PM

What-are we back in the 1940s? Newsflash... healthy women get horny and they do enjoy sex.


Women also get STD's more than men, it is simple biology.

So enjoy it.

Here's another newsflash for y'all; unless I'm the only woman who hasn't turned gay in the last 24 hrs due to the seeming shortage of men who actually KNOW how to use their big head( no, it ain't just a spacer to keep your ears from fusing)- these healthy, horny women are having sex with MEN...another matter of simple biology.
I probably should have made a specific statement,IN UPPER CASE, that when I say "healthy", it means her brain is still in charge of her hormones-and thus one reason for FwB when a "real relationship" just isn't what's wanted/what's feasible- is to at least have SOME idea where that thing has been lately, before ya go stickin' it in any of your orofices. Still a smart-very smart-idea to use condoms, for a couple 0f very good reasons; for women of childbearing age, a supplemental protection against unintended conception,and for another(yes I'm gonna bring it up BEFORE some Captain Obvious starts with the yahbuts)- just in case somebody's lying!
So, Bunky, whatcha gonna do, since it's "simple biology" that women get more STDs-BTW, aside from exercising our( me and MsMicki) right to be smartmouths-do you have credible information to back that up?
I tell you what, it's pretty clear to me why I'm single.
Yeah, I know, the PoF forums are an allegedly TINY representation of allegedly single males in alleged Datingland-but it seems to me that it could be also seen as "the tip of the iceberg", if one chose to consider that aspect-brr! perish the thought! I certainly intend to keep thinking that they only all SEEM dumber than two dollar dogs.
Cindy O
 MisterDynomite
Joined: 5/8/2010
Msg: 1077
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/2/2010 8:39:47 PM
Observation : (based on POF posts from the past few years)

Divorce apparently hurts way more than FWB split ups

*waits to see who admits to choosing divorce over FWB*

dum-dee dum dee dum..




btw, married + exclusive couples can get STD's while in a relationship too. Just thought i'd throw that out there.
 61central
Joined: 8/24/2010
Msg: 1078
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/2/2010 9:07:07 PM
Yes. I had multiple successful FWB relationships. As for STDs, anytime 2 people have sex, you could get a STD. Even if you and your significant other have been tested. The STD could be latent. Your significant other could have sex with someone else right after being tested. Thus making the results moot.
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1079
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/2/2010 10:00:46 PM
My FWB and I sat naked in the hot tub watching the Colts lose to the Bengals tonight.
We did not have sex.
Should I be worried?
Is he cheating on me?
Has he lost interest in me?
I'm so confused because according to these threads we should be humping each other like sex crazed maniacs
 Secondhand_Lion
Joined: 11/10/2008
Msg: 1080
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/2/2010 10:34:23 PM
^^^^Micki, is he still in the hot tub?.....did you take his pulse?..........................................
 vicavictor
Joined: 3/9/2010
Msg: 1081
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/3/2010 12:13:05 AM
Women get stds more than men, for the simple fact that the human pappiloma virus is carried by men, but women are far more likely to get the disease. It's the virus that causes cervial cancer. Geez, I'd think being a woman you'd know this stuff.

Who the hell would go on the world wide web and brag about being a fwb? Don't you women have kids you're embarrassing or something.
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 1082
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/3/2010 7:21:22 AM
My goodness, you can't find anything better to converse/laugh about than people who do what they believe to be the right thing-because YOU don't share their viewpoint?
Um, yeah... we occaisionally talk about other stuff here and there (sarcasm, apperently I have to point that out to you).

get together and talk about you and your gf, maybe pray for the 2 of you? Probably they DON'T
Wouldn't matter to me one iota if they did or didn't, praying to an imaginary friend is a pointless exercise in and of itself, as we all know (but most won't admit) that prayers don't get answered, never have, and never will; but that's another topic for another day.

Do you actually HAVE some information that supports those thoughts that you can't help but think- or is there an element of underlying discomfort about your own choices that is driving your rationalizations?
Not a rationalization. True Abrahamic (christianity, judiasm, islam, etc.) religion followers are NOT to be having sexual relations until marriage to one other member of the opposite sex and most preferably that person practices the same religion. I have no interest in following that convention; those people of the bible who have sex and multiple relationships before getting married are sinners by their OWN doctrine. I'd rather not live with that guilt. I would really like to have a life long partner, but getting married just seems pointless. I don't see how that helps me stay with someone. If I ever do get married, it's in a courthouse or other non-religious sanction, and any kids I have will not be soaked in "holy water" in some weirdo spectacle.

If marriage is not something you care to do, that's perfectly fine, but to discount/disrespect it tells me that you have some level of uneasiness with your position.
This all started because I was making a point that my girlfriend, would be considered by many of you, to be a FWB because:
- We don't want to get married, ever.
- We don't put pressure on ourselves to spend holidays together and we aren't attached at the hip.
- We take separate vacations but also vacations together.
- We don't say "I love you" constantly.
- We aren't searching for some "means to an end" here.
However, she's my girlfriend, in my eyes, because:
- I don't look at her as just a friend.
- We're committed to each other in the sense that we're not looking for anyone else.
- We share our deepest feelings with each other.
In essence, no, I'm not uneasy about my position, that was your fabrication. I was trying to explain to the FWB defenders out there that many of you are probably in relationships that you're not awknowledging as such. Then, in your uneasiness and calling me a "back street phychologist," I defended myself by explaining my position on relationships and FWBs and what not.
And yes, I still think marriage is outdated. It's a way to spend a boatload of cash that could be used on other things to help the loving couple, it gives the government and religious groups (if chosen to marry in a church) a way to stick their noses in your business, and of course salivating divorce attourneys a way to make the big bucks. Why not just avoid all that and be happy just being a couple?

Anyway, that's all for me. Thanks for your points, they were quite thought provoking (no sarcasm there, I appreciate the opinons of forward thinkers from my folk's generation).


Even carry my own condoms!
Yeah, *sigh* me too, always have. They didn't stop me from getting molluscum in college, though, or my friend from getting herpes in college... what a bummer. Kinda cool though, to be able to just sit naked in a hot tub (sex or no sex) with someone and be comfortable with it
 MsMicki
Joined: 10/2/2006
Msg: 1083
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/3/2010 7:49:51 AM

Who the hell would go on the world wide web and brag about being a fwb? Don't you women have kids you're embarrassing or something.


So only the women should be embarrassed?


Are your kids embarrassed you're having sex with a woman you're not married to?

Still a sin if you want to get all "moral" on us.
 ladyc4
Joined: 2/14/2006
Msg: 1084
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yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/3/2010 11:50:59 AM

Divorce apparently hurts way more than FWB split ups

*waits to see who admits to choosing divorce over FWB*

dum-dee dum dee dum..

Mr D, perhaps I'm misunderstanding your point, but in my books. FwB can only occur between people who are not already in some other form of relationship that's more "official"-if someone runs out and obtains a FwB while in a committed relationship or married-that ain't no FwB it's cheating.
I will, however, leave a small window open to recognize "open" marriages, or situations of debilitating illness/disability in which a compassionate and TRULY loving spouse would permit or even encourage their healthy&functional SO to find a FwB.

Women get stds more than men, for the simple fact that the human pappiloma virus is carried by men, but women are far more likely to get the disease. It's the virus that causes cervial cancer. Geez, I'd think being a woman you'd know this stuff.
We ARE. That's why we pointed out that any sexual act can result in an STD or other female genital issue-for example,there's a type of yeast infection, if I recall correctly, that can be passed back and forth even between monogamous partners,and part of the remedy is using condoms until the YI is cleared up.

Who the hell would go on the world wide web and brag about being a fwb? Don't you women have kids you're embarrassing or something.

I don't particularly notice anybody "bragging",just not concealing and being hypocritical. I don't personally have kids, nor am I particularly involved in any relationship or FwB at this time. HOWEVER, were I to have children, it would be MY business how I handled my love life. And I can see situations where a single parent might be better served to participate in a genuine FwB, rather than having a frikken parade of potential boyfriends traipsing through everybody's lives.

My goodness, you can't find anything better to converse/laugh about than people who do what they believe to be the right thing-because YOU don't share their viewpoint?
******************************************************************************************************
Um, yeah... we occaisionally talk about other stuff here and there (sarcasm, apperently I have to point that out to you).Well then let me point out to YOU that my comment was at least in the "raised eyebrow" category, if not infact mild sarcasm. NOTE to "Our Flounder"-we need a "raised eyebrow" emoticon,too.

Do you actually HAVE some information that supports those thoughts that you can't help but think- or is there an element of underlying discomfort about your own choices that is driving your rationalizations?
******************************************************************************************************************
Not a rationalization. True Abrahamic (christianity, judiasm, islam, etc.) religion followers are NOT to be having sexual relations until marriage to one other member of the opposite sex and most preferably that person practices the same religion. I have no interest in following that convention; those people of the bible who have sex and multiple relationships before getting married are sinners by their OWN doctrine.

Well, where does that leave some of those Old Testament patriarchs who had multiple wives? What about old school fundamentalist Mormons who practice polygamy?

those people of the bible who have sex and multiple relationships are sinners by their OWN doctrine.
Well, since you seem to totally dismiss the idea of faith, prayer, etc....how can you bring up SIN? Incidentally, I think it would be quite reasonable to presume that most ancient codes of conduct that frowned upon pre and extra marital sex, did so to prevent **stard children, children inheriting possessions from a man who wasn't really their BIO father, and the spread of disease.

This all started because I was making a point that my girlfriend, would be considered by many of you, to be a FWB because:
- We don't want to get married, ever.
- We don't put pressure on ourselves to spend holidays together and we aren't attached at the hip.
- We take separate vacations but also vacations together.
- We don't say "I love you" constantly.

- We aren't searching for some "means to an end" here.
However, she's my girlfriend, in my eyes, because:
- I don't look at her as just a friend.
- We're committed to each other in the sense that we're not looking for anyone else.
- We share our deepest feelings with each other.

You may find this difficult to believe, but I DO understand EXACTLY what you are talking about. And that is precisely the way I'd like to conduct a committed relationship myself. I don't CARE what "many of anybody" thinks, except that all too often the man himself misunderstands; and the Friends with Benefits becomes just about the benefits-in which case he's completely baffled when he gets disinvited from my life!-OR it's a guy who was kinda sorta thinking I needed a man living right with me in my house, he could do all kinds of helpful stuff,etc etc.
But here's MY deal. I don't give a rats' rear end about "help" and "heavier work"-I would have to love a man with all my heart in order to even consider cohabitation or marriage...if I need a handyman or help with heavy work I have friends or people I can compensate for their services. Yeah, it would be nice to have an onsite-or nearly so-handyman and slayer of spiders-but I won't pretend love and caring I don't FEEL to obtain one.

And yes, I still think marriage is outdated.
I don't Know as I'd go so far as to call it outdated or irrelevant-but I can certainly agree and accept that now women are allowed to be valid and respected full citizens rather than some lesser being that must have a man to oversee her life, that other forms of serious longterm committment will gain mainstream acceptance.

it gives the government and religious groups (if chosen to marry in a church) a way to stick their noses in your business

How so-in any material way? If you abuse your cohabiting partner/spouse, or abuse or neglect children living under your roof, the government/secular law entities may become involved- it won't matter if you are a Baptist, a Catholic, a Wiccan or a Satanist,regardless of whether you had a 15K wedding, jumped a broom, had a Quaker wedding, or simply agreed to pairbond and cohabit.

Why not just avoid all that and be happy just being a couple?
That is MORE than enough for me, but I guess I wondered why you had to make such a point of people being somehow "forced" to choose a traditionally structured marriage. And your haste to point out all the "negatives" you perceive to be inherent in these formalized
committments that you speculate arise from faith and family based pressure/coercion,coercion that is only effective because the willing participants have been denied knowledge of other viable options. If you feel that marriage is not a cup of tea you care to swim in, that would be all you needed to say. Your extensive justifications simply WEAKENED your argument, IMO.

Who the hell would go on the world wide web and brag about being a fwb? Don't you women have kids you're embarrassing or something.


So only the women should be embarrassed?


Are your kids embarrassed you're having sex with a woman you're not married to?

Bbbut-but- Ms Micki! You don't understand! That poster can say things like that because( hold your breath...wait for it...) he has a PENIS. That means he gets to have a different set of rules,and can brag about anything regardless of who it embarrasses.
Maybe his children think his gf is like Mary Poppins or a dad nanny or somethin'?
Cindy O
 SpecificTruths
Joined: 9/19/2009
Msg: 1085
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 9/3/2010 12:39:03 PM

That poster can say things like that because( hold your breath...wait for it...) he has a PENIS. That means he gets to have a different set of rules,and can brag about anything regardless of who it embarrasses.

Don't you gals know, we have brains down there! We follow them there brains to the end of the Earth! Or, ahem, wherever y'all lead 'em
 heckifiknow
Joined: 5/31/2011
Msg: 1086
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/29/2011 6:36:08 PM
No because it ain't for more. I think it works for some people though. Some friends with benefits even end up getting married or cohabiting.
 Greatcatch12345
Joined: 5/2/2011
Msg: 1087
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/30/2011 4:40:15 AM
count me in!! In fact..here's my number..1-800-i'm easy.. LOL...
 AlreadyTakenBootboy
Joined: 11/5/2009
Msg: 1088
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/30/2011 7:48:28 AM
I would say no.
 karma1160
Joined: 6/10/2008
Msg: 1089
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/30/2011 4:29:08 PM
Nope never, I have been single for a long time and have thought about it, but realized
that this would make me feel alienated and phony.
To each his own, I am not making a judgement one way or the other, I think it may work for some, it just won't work for me.
 1234deleted1234
Joined: 10/8/2009
Msg: 1090
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/30/2011 7:59:53 PM
Some of my FWB relationships were also some of the most memorable and honest relationships I've had!
 Sportsfreak89
Joined: 12/28/2010
Msg: 1091
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 6/30/2011 8:15:24 PM
I don't have a friend with benefits at this time but I used to. However though my fwb relationships were not all just meaningless sex. There were some other activities mixed in as well (truth be told these looked like dating relationships but there was not enough in them for us to call them dating relationships) but obviously sex was the main thing involved. I think friends with benefits can be a good thing as sex and friendships are two of the most healthy things to have in life as long as they are gone about correctly and safely (use a rubber and don't use your friend solely for sex).
 livluv1
Joined: 5/21/2011
Msg: 1092
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 7/1/2011 7:48:44 AM
I don't have any FWB I have been asked quit a few times, but my thing is, if I was attacted to you, you would have the benefits. :) People think that sex is just a game and for some it might be but unless it is just a couple of times and you don't get to really know the person, if it is just a wham bam and be gone. Then someone always gets hurt. For some it is just a thrill for just a short period of time but it can turn into heartache for quit a while.
 SimplyEric
Joined: 6/17/2010
Msg: 1093
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 7/7/2011 10:15:32 AM
Monogamous FWB is a thing I can deal with.
 linnet_bird
Joined: 11/28/2009
Msg: 1094
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 7/7/2011 10:26:53 AM
Hello,

I have recently ended a 'friends with benefits' relationship.
Can be hard work and rules should never have been broken... i am always more inclined to this method of 'relationships', however some people don't know how to follow the rules;

1. never sleep the night.
2. no hugging, intermatcy.
3. Don't use each other to talk about 'day to day' problems.
4. **** buddies, are something for fun, so make the sex fun, which means putting more effort in than what you prob would a relationship.
5. dont go on 'dates' or many social activities the two of you, remember its a purely sexual relationship.
6, meet each others needs, don't just wait for when 'you in the mood'

You are right the are benefits... something always on the cards, stress reliever.

I would say though if you find yourself becoming jealous, or you have no desire to sleep with other people, but yet you have no desire to commit pull out! And vice versa if the other person has developed feelings either.

I think your biggest question is where can you find a friend with benefits, not always easy to come across, some people disagree with this method of living. O always makes sure you both know that is just a **** buddy situation.

xxx
 tisker
Joined: 5/20/2010
Msg: 1095
view profile
History
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 7/7/2011 10:29:09 AM
No, it's not good, for me sex is an important part of sharing love, trust ,and intemicy,(?) how could someone have sex with someone they don't care about?
 Confident-Realist
Joined: 2/8/2004
Msg: 1096
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 10/8/2013 8:05:41 PM

No, it's not good, for me sex is an important part of sharing love, trust ,and intemicy,(?) how could someone have sex with someone they don't care about?

FWB doesn't mean you don't care about them. Quite the contrary -- they're not some fvck buddy, they're an actual friend w/ benefits. But isn't a girlFriend or boyFriend? Yes, but they're much more than just FWB.

A FWB is basically someone you are actual friends with, but it's a non-platonic friendship. In essence, it's a relationship between two people where there isn't much or any romantic attraction, but there is sexual attraction -- all while being actual friends.

Many people will just role-play being actual "friends" to just get a piece of the sexual pie, which is why it can be a dangerous endeavor to go down.

But actual FWBs do care just like actual friends care about one another -- it's just lacking most or all of romantic intimacy or romantic expectations. Many times due to LD, two people remain friends, but have "benefits". Or two ex's who know that a Relationship could never work out again as they were already the odd couple and lost romantic feelings for one another, they can still flirt and occasionally hook up when both are single.

In effect, you ARE seeing each other, although "Dating" could be misleading, as you're not a couple or aiming to be a couple -- unless you're spending tons of time together very frequently -- then you are, whether you like it or not because you're trumping lack-of-romance.
 35brock
Joined: 3/20/2013
Msg: 1097
yes or no? Friends with benefits!
Posted: 10/9/2013 12:54:31 PM
FWBs are not for everybody. They can work for some people in the right situation though. Both people need to be honest with their intentions. I think many FWBs don't work because 1 person already had feelings for the other person before the FWB started. (S)he agreed to the FWB secretly hoping that it will lead to something more. Any type of relationship will probably fail when someone isn't honest.
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