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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/16/2008 5:02:53 PM | heh Ok I get the bait thing, but one question.. Who is baiting who? LoL
AK, That is true to a point, but it does depend on what they are offering as bait too. I have know some women to offer sex as bait, then afterwards they cant figure out what went wrong after they never get a call/email/whatever 
Careful Yma, use caustion when using bait... It may look promising by all the fishies jumping     But use it wrong and youll be doing this..   then end up   but if everything is played right then you end up ...      LoL | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 12:28:09 AM | Tick Tock, that was what I was quoting lol. You were dead on, you win a cookie!
Oh, I'm very careful about my bait and who gets to bite.
And, I'm still contiplating how to respond to the last "message" about being careful. Please explain yourself lol. | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 5:16:19 AM | I volunteer to do the beta testing! You know. Just so you can perfect your techniques and refine your algo-"rhythm" !
Whats an algo-rythem mean, and how do i know if it needs refining? lol
Mmmmmm and i totally agree about the touch being just as important as the kiss and can at times even be preferred over sex! Yummy,,,,lying side by side spooning, his hands gently caressing you as you talk about just stuff. The playful lil tickles. *sighs* Ok,,who wants to spoon damn it! lolol | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:21:56 AM | An "algorithm" is a set of rules for solving a problem in a finite number of steps, as in finding the greatest common divisor. It is also used by Google and other search engines to determine what ads to show where.
A "rhythm" is a uniform or patterned recurrence of a beat, accent, or the like. As in music. Or birth control (the Rhythm Method). Or the sex act (what happens after all that spooning and gentle caressing of hands and....)
"Algo-'rhythm'" is a play on words that sort of combines both. I think my point was not clear!
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 6:40:00 AM | WOW hahahhah Maybe im the only one it wasnt clear on! LOL Well,,the rythem part was clear. hehehehheh  | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:46:57 AM | Sargo, I think you are baiting Amy and she is baiting you and i think you're both nibbling
Rip, I think there are a few more kinds of rythym,( sorry, tis the devil in me popping out, LOL) like the kind that needs to build up in a relationship before you get to where you are ready for the sex in your life together.
Or 'ahem'...the rythym that builds when kissing and leads to passion, ahhhhhh, remember that? I vaguely do, LOL
Darn...how come my man is so far away right now? You got me wanting to spoon and kiss and ahhhh, those face caresses!!!!  | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:03:12 AM | Nibbling? I like nibbling... oh wait, you meant something else. LoL Stop putting thoughts in my head! I was right, Robitty is a trouble maker.. watch out hodgie! LoL
Careful with the bait... Ok, I will explain a bit but its pretty simple, sorry I didnt elaborate on it better. I have seen many people use their bait... over dressing or putting on an act to some extent. They end up looking nice and all, but its all fake. Its not who they really are. Its as if they are trying to hard or have to impress the other for some reason. If you are already talking to someone, they can tell right away when you put on a show and that can lead to a turn off. Like to me, it would tell me that either their desperate to hook someone or they may be too high strung or they dont think they are good enough so here comes an act to try to make themselves better. Theres no need for any of that.
As its been said a bazillion times, "Be yourself"
Show hows that? only took me an short essay to say what everyone already knows LoL But you will still be amazed that how many hear it, yet dont understand what it really means and why. So I thought a little insight and personal opinion would help some of those people. | |
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gabby5
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Joined: 4/18/2008
Msg: 183 | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:25:28 AM | Well, I am the one that started the "Expose yourself" post.
I tend to believe people put their best foot forward because that is who they want to be, not always who they are. But aren't we all striving to be better people? Or we should be. Call me naive, but I don't think it's always done to manipulate or be fake. I do know people fake out to impress, or to hide, but those type of people are usually easy to sniff out within a short time. And if they're good enough to fool you, and in the end you get hurt, that's on them. A person should never regret or question themselves for trusting another human being. Nobody ever promised me a rose garden lol. Sometimes if you trust and believe in a person, they'll surprise you. I expect people I meet to surprise me, not disappoint me. I guess I'm a bit of a Polly Anna. | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 8:35:53 AM | | the very first pof party i went to this totally handsome guy gave me a kiss good-bye...he led me around the corner...gathered me in nice and close...and planted the softest sweetest kiss on my lips that i've ever had in my life...where did he go? | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:16:48 AM | Oh Oh Amy...
A person should never regret or question themselves for trusting another human being. Nobody ever promised me a rose garden
I'm in trouble then, because my sweet friend, I have HUGE regrets for trusting and I question "WHY" I gave up so much trust to one person. I know I wasn't promised a rose garden and my life is proof of that but.....(always that but isn't there?)
Without writing a book, let me say that I loved my husband enough to completely trust him, never had a doubt in my mind there was reason not to and that's the way a good marriage should be, based on trust right, unless you are given reason not to trust.
I am an intelligent woman, smart, educated, but found myself....get ready for this because I've never publicly told a soul, so embarrassing....to be one of those rediculously stupid women you only read about in a magazine, he had total control and I never realized it had happened, all because I trusted. I didn't know what we had in the bank, what bills we had, how much he made, never saw a paycheck, didnt know where he was, he had a second phone I knew nothing about, took him at his word when he told me, I didn't even know what insurance companies we used...all in four years time. And Amy, sit down because he was giving me sleeping pills at night and I didnt even know that until I accidently found the pills when cleaning. Yes, I had been to the dr to complain about being tired and not able to wake up in the morning...
I sound like a very ignorant chicka to you don't I? To excuse myself, let me say we have a disabled child that he insisted I focus all my time and attention on and my father was also dying at the time, which is hardly excuse enough. It was blind love and trust, plain and simple.
If not for finding his viagra when I found the sleeping pills (that he was using to keep up with his affairs) I may very well be trodding thru life totally blind still and trusting, believing he was doing all those "side jobs"! It took me a year and a half of counseling to get back any self respect and esteem...not to mention believing I could trust anyone again but with eyes wide open this time!
Sooo gf, do I regret it? Trusting? hell yeah! Do I question myself because of it? Oh yeah! it's so easy to look in the mirror and say dummy dummy dummy!
luckily life is about living and learning, sometimes the hard way....getting another chance.
One last comment...trust...his last affair, and my first husband's affair, were both with my best friends. Ahhh, there's another whole trust issue for another day! Regrets...I have a few.
Sorry for the book, LOLOL just knew it was going to happen when i saw the word trust and regrets in the same sentence | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:33:02 AM | | Robitty, Your story is soooo sad and I hate to hear when women have to go through these types of relationships. I also got out of a cheating marriage (not as bad as yours!) and was blind for awhile. But, I consider it lessons learned for the next time. There are always signs that I'm sure you'll look for next time but it's also a sad thing when people lose trust and faith in each other. Don't give up on those 2 things. | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 9:46:15 AM | Okay sweet stuff. I get it, we all carry scars other people have placed on our souls. I know I do! But I think the trick is not to let it define you. There's a reason child abuse and neglect is so dear and near to my heart, my lifes passion so to speak.
You don't sound stupid, you sound human!
But, I refuse to let another persons demons dictate what kind of person I am, and will become. And so should you and anyone else. Some people are predators, Einstein himself was taken a few times. It has nothing to with how smart or enlightened you are.
I think the trusting again thing doesn't come from trusting other people, but trusting yourself to choose the type of people in your life that aren't toxic. When things like this happen we question ourselves, which is so confusing when they are the ones that should have to stand up to be scrutenized. The flaw wasn't in you, or about you, it was a basic lack of decentcy in his moral make up. I know it's hard, but all you should see in your mirror is a extrodinary woman completely capable of being phenomenal, and well deserving of it. Take the mirror and turn it back at him.
Our rose gardens are very weedy as we've talked about before lol.. but still roses will grow. | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 10:56:25 AM |
but a little nibbling is perfectly acceptable!
The only nibbling I've done in quite a while is on food I don't want to eat fast for some reason.
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:08:23 AM | Sorry for the book
Never be sorry for the book, Robitty. It is yours and the best kind: open and honest. You are among friends. Just don't let your previous bad relationship define you, as was previously said. Be willing to trust again or there cannot be another good relationship. Only acquaintances. Our kind of relationships are built on trust. We make mistakes, yes. But we must go on or we will wilt and die on the vine.
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 11:57:25 AM |
The flaw wasn't in you, or about you, it was a basic lack of decentcy in his moral make up. I know it's hard, but all you should see in your mirror is a extrodinary woman completely capable of being phenomenal, and well deserving of it. Take the mirror and turn it back at him.
Whoa Amy, spooky, LOL the exact same words my counselor used over and over again. I believe them now, took a while but I'm there and soooo ready to move on in life. There's great things awaiting me...life is just beginning again now on to those gardens called life!
Hugs you guys...for your words. Life's okay now, we all have our stories and most of them stink. | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:19:09 PM | robitty, i am sorry you had to go through that. im embarassed to tell you how i lived for years and years, and could not tell a soul the way i was treated. i basically lived in our basement. talk about low self-esteem? and the drinking, womanizing, etc. jerry springer would have loved my story. my husband was getting jiggy with my stepsister. do i blame her? are you kidding? i love that girl. for some reason i felt i needed a "good" excuse to end the marriage and how i was treated. those are some pretty dark days. there was a time where i thought i'd died and gone to heaven when i met him, and it was such a shame how he treated me. i have many regrets, but you can't change the past. i also have a son who, unfortunately, had some medical issues arise when he was preteen, so a lot of my time and energy was focused on that. he still is dealing with things, but still has a few obstacles to overcome. he's 19. and i'm proud to say i've been there for him from the start. i only wished his dad could/would have helped.
OKAY, I SUPPOSE THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE RULES OF KISSING, LOL, so let's talk kissing, okay? i don't trust men, LOL LOL LOL
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:33:24 PM | | people can be so damn cruel...my mom always told me my soft heart would be the end of me...but my free spirit always kept me afloat...i'm am so sorry for you wonderful ladies...but i truly believe there is someone/s special out there for all of us...someone will come along and kiss your booboo's and they'll be all better someday | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 2:19:27 PM | I met ex #2 on Match.com.....good reason not to go back there!
If there was ever a man who did everything he could to get me hooked in two months....it was him.....everybody told me I was STUPID but I didn't listen.....
THEN came the "I don't like your friends, your theatre, your church", and I stopped seeing everyone just to make him happy.....but it didn't......if he couldn't get a hold of me on my cell IMMEDIATELY, I had to be 'cheating'.....(he was a truck driver who had two previous marriages fold for cheating......I was 'six feet under' BEFORE our second date!), I thought that time, love and being upfront would, in time, make him relax.....
NOT. I couldn't go anywhere!
SO, to try to save our marriage, I tried driving with him, just wasn't my thing, hated to be away so much from my house and cats......when I told him I just couldn't live that life, he was GONE. And I was DEVESTATED. Flat broke, out of a job (I had to quit if we were going to be on the road full-time), and with an overdue mortgage......
Broken but not beaten!
And, now I have YOU guys! I DO thank my stars for POF and all my new friends!
I'm gonna make myself cry....... Better have another cigarette....
BTW, he was a GREAT kisser......now I'm back on subject! | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 3:24:32 PM | Yeah...I am so glad I have you guys too! Always a smile when I come away from here! I love POF!!! It gave me all of you!
Didn't I say we all have our stories...and yea, they sure do all stink! But the good thing is...we're all survivors!!!
We see that beautiful rose garden thru those weeds, just have to work our way to it...a weed at a time.
Sooo, back on subject, speaking of kisses...have you kissed Sargo yet Amy? | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 4:05:47 PM | well robitty my opinion is you have recovered well many women that have stuff like that happen show a anger or distrust to all men
you do not wear your scars on the outside
you show me you have the greatest confidence in yourself too
you are a very strong woman | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/17/2008 7:42:18 PM | Silly Robin, we haven't met yet! Or have we? No, we haven't. I guess lol
Can't you tell by his posts, he'll taste like cereal and yogurt. | |
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| The rules of kissing
Posted: 5/18/2008 6:31:10 AM | Get a room? after only one date? We don't operate that fast....you just shush and behave AK....
How ome you're not picking on Yma and Sargo? | |
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