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Show ALL Forums  > Broken Hearts  > I don't do "separated"...      Home login  
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 starzgirl72
Joined: 2/23/2011
Msg: 350
I changed my mindPage 15 of 15    (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15)

When I date, I do so with a view towards a long term relationship with, hopefully, a marriage along the way. Dating somebody who is separated, and who doesn't have in him to go through the divorce process (for whatever reason) just makes it impossible for me to get what I want out of that relationship.

This is how I feel too; I know that I want a LTR that could ultimately lead to marriage and I feel that someone who is only separated and not divorced is in a completely different stage of their life than what I'm currently in and is in no position to give me what I'm looking for in a relationship. Doesn't make them bad people or anything like that, just probably not good dating prospects for eachother.
 cenomeno
Joined: 4/21/2010
Msg: 351
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 8:33:50 AM
I don't go after other men's wifes. It's against "man code" And if technicality is not "that" important then why did you sign those papers in the first place ?

I wish we could block these people just like married people...they're the same in my book of ethics.
 starzgirl72
Joined: 2/23/2011
Msg: 352
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 8:58:11 AM

I wish we could block these people just like married people

Actually, you can...it's in your edit email settings.
 ProcolHarem
Joined: 8/29/2008
Msg: 353
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History
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 9:00:44 AM

I wish we could block these people just like married people


"these people"
Right...not like we have feelings or anything.
 browneyesboo
Joined: 5/19/2005
Msg: 354
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I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 10:03:11 AM
Awwwwwwwwwwww^

Hey...we all have feelings, but we all get blocked for one
reason or another. Not sure why you can't understand that.
It's just another preference people have.

Heck (believe it or not ahahahahaha!) I'm not everyone's cup
of tea either.

It is what it is.
 starzgirl72
Joined: 2/23/2011
Msg: 355
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 10:05:20 AM
I'll clarify; I never say never...anything is possible but I just can't picture a man in that situation being ready, willing and able to give me what I'm looking for in a relationship.
 abelian
Joined: 1/12/2008
Msg: 356
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 10:46:02 AM

I'll clarify; I never say never...anything is possible but I just can't picture a man in that situation being ready, willing and able to give me what I'm looking for in a relationship.

Well, I never thought I'd date a woman who was seperated, but I did because the reasons she hadn't divorced yet made sense to me and she and her soon-to-be ex had literally no contact with each other - not even phone calls, emails or text messages. The only contact they ever did end up having with each other was mailing the divorce papers back and forth to each other and an email or two to get corrections made. She's now my fiancee, so you could say that I'm happy that I understood the situation before deciding whether or not to date her.
 starzgirl72
Joined: 2/23/2011
Msg: 357
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 10:58:20 AM
Yes, I think that's what I'm trying to get at here; although I wouldn't seek someone out in that particular situation, I could be open-minded enough to at least get further clarification from the person first before making the decision to date them or not. Same as with dating men with kids...although I'd really prefer not to, under certain circumstances, I might give it a try.
 Red Fish GF
Joined: 12/3/2009
Msg: 358
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History
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 11:41:42 AM

I'll clarify; I never say never...anything is possible but I just can't picture a man in that situation being ready, willing and able to give me what I'm looking for in a relationship.


As I stated in message 312 of this thread, I was reluctant to date a guy who was separated after being the rebound for another. I just approached the situation with more caution and after finding out at the divorce hearing his ex was already engaged, I knew it was only a matter of paper work. If I hadn't gave a second separated guy a chance to prove he was different than the first one, I wouldn't be happily in an exclusive relationship with him 2 years later.
 Ailliss
Joined: 3/16/2010
Msg: 359
I changed my mind
Posted: 4/14/2011 12:05:02 PM

I could be open-minded enough to at least get further clarification from the person first before making the decision to date them or not.


How I see it as well.
I cannot help but recall that a woman who I will always admire, Jacqueline Kennedy, dated a separated man for the last seven or so years of her life. He was at her bedside when she died. We do not know why he never divorced; nor is it any of our business. He did not live with his wife.
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