| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:04:13 PM | Thanks Carly,
I'll send you a first contact. Note that I always write it specifically for the person so your is based on your profile. Here goes:
Hi CarlyKitten,
I've read your profile and yes, I want to know more...
The thing that really caught my eye was your dream of having a nightclub someday. See, I have a very similar dream. Mine is to own and run an oceanfront bar. You know... thatched roof, paddle fans, the sound of the ocean, steel drums and people laughing. Some day.
I'm also not that great with cars. I learned my automotive place in this world when as a teenage, I took the motor of my car apart and had quite a few parts left over when I put it back together. It blew up about a week later.
Your profile makes me smile and I like to smile so tell me more about Carly. Maybe if any of this makes you smile as well we can have some fun getting to know each other and from there... What’s life without some fun and laughs? Where did I hear that before?
Looking forward to hearing from you,
Don | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:14:21 PM | Gottadance.
Whats with the eye pic? Just a little weird.
You dont talk about you at all. Who are you? What are you interested in? What do you enjoy doing? Also what are you looking for on this site?
There is nothing wrong with getting out there and making first contact yourself. Dont just rely on this site, beacuse you will be disapointed with it. Get out in the world, join a club, gym or just out in the world. Keep your options open to all the experences in this world.
Carly | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:25:48 PM | Nryder.
Would love to see a pic of you smilling... also that middle pic is too dark to see you, therefore a bit useless on this site.
You need to break your profile into paragraphs so its not just one clump of text... does turn some off.
Talk about who you are, more then what you do. Dont just list things in a profile, do expand on a few.
Carly | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:35:54 PM | Jiggajames.
Whats with all the words being Like This? Its bad grammer and some will pick it out, and was a bit annoying to try to read.
You dont need that thing written by some guy. this is your profile and you need to show yourself off! Let us know about who you are, what you do, what interests you and what you are looking for on this site.
CArly | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 6:50:15 PM | Msli.
You start your profile on a negative tone... makes it flow through out your profile. Try and keep it postive and light.
Talk about you, Who are you? Do more then just list about what you like to do.
I do wish you all the luck i can give.
Carly | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:00:19 PM | Jon Kim.
You need to talk about you, Who are you? What are you interested in? This is like a ad from you, you need to sell yourself to people. I dont mean cover up bad points but let everyone know why they would want to get to know you better. Tease them with information about you.... make them beg for more information...
Carly | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:05:07 PM | Mikem.
I do like what you have written, but i would suggest that you uses some paragraphs and spacing to make it easier to read... also remember that your last 5 posts are displayed on your profile.... just could put some women off what you may write..
Carly | |
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| Why not
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:17:33 PM | | Ok, lets hear it...I can take it. :) | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:50:07 PM | | Humm, thanks Carly. You also said that the profile might be too long as well. So maybe the issue is too long of a profile and too long of a first contact? Any comments on how either can be shortened? Where do I start getting boring? | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:51:46 PM | Italian.
I like what you have to say but i do think your photos are blurry. You should get some that show you clearly, smile be happy. Show different sides of you, do some face shots, full body and some action shots.... so what your interested in.
Carly | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 7:55:12 PM | Young.
You need to get some more pics of you, the one you have is too dark to show you off.
Talk more about you, your interests and what you enjoy. Please dont just list these things... expand on a few, you need to grab their attention with your picture and hook them with your profile. tease them with information about you and make them want to know more!
Carly | |
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| Why not
Posted: 12/6/2007 8:03:58 PM | Andrew.
You do sometimes slip into a self pity sentence every now and then on your profile, i know that its sometimes hard and lonely being single but we all know this... you dont want to sound desperate.
Talk about what you are interested in. What do you do for fun?
This is your profile, you talk more about your son then you do yourself...
Carly | |
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| Why not
Posted: 12/6/2007 8:06:58 PM | | Thanx for being straight up.. I'll make a few changes... | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 8:07:33 PM | Delilish
Ill msg you with more comments....
Ok you wont accept mail from me... so here it is...
I dont think you get boring, i just realise that people dont really read long profiles. Too much effort, they dont think its boring, but too much info shared.
With long profiles it looks like to have tried too hard, same with msgs. not that im saying just write 2 lines coz that will be passed over.
Is this of any help?
Carly | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/6/2007 9:24:02 PM | sorry... i think one of mine wandered over here.
how are you doing? hopefully well. i miss you!!! can we catch up at the a & p later for a cup of joe?
i've almost mastered that triple vortex you showed me on the skates. i'm rockin'!!!
best,
chris | |
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| I'll review your profile, tell the truth and help you out.
Posted: 12/7/2007 8:02:00 AM | I can't get messages from you??? I'll have to see why and fix it.
Yes, your comments do make sense. I think what you are saying is that if I was a movie I'm putting the whole 2 hours out there instead of just a preview of coming attractions. Is that it?
OK, unless you're messaging for imtimate encounters you should be able to write. | |
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Pat D
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Joined: 5/29/2006
Msg: 675 | |
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