| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:41:16 PM | Well, I must have severely damaged by 20, 18 and 14 year old then cause I left them alone at four to hop in the shower, go to the washroom, throw some laundry in!!
OHMG.. I once left them alone in the house when I went and moved the sprinklers.
My ex worked overseas for 5 weeks at a time and at one point, I had a newborn, a 3 yr old and a 5 year old. I took mommy time outs in the bathroom when things got too crazy.
Not anywhere in the OP did I say that OP and his g/f were "messing around" in the shower.
My ex and I showered together all the time without sex. It was just something we did together.
As for putting a baby gate up across a door for a four year old, YIKES. wait til he goes to school and they expect him to go the bathroom and tie his shoes HIMSELF. in a year ..
Four years old isn't a baby.. they are preschoolers. And preschoolers have called 911 to save a parents life when necessary. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:44:56 PM |
carolann0308: ....at 34 you should know better.
Right!
carolann0308: You obviously do not even know this child yet felt comfortable shagging Mom while she was home
Oh...where was it stated that he didn't know the child? Or that he was shagging her trashy irresponsible mother in the shower? Give me a break.
Idareu69 : if anything..your reaction would have caused more grief than her seeing you naked.
I am sure that was the point the afore-mentioned 'trashy irresponsible' mother may have been trying to get across when she questioned his yelling at her child.
Idareu69: a calm response of 'I'm just getting out of the shower would you mind going into the other room?' ....
Exactly!!
I think making a big deal out of it is more damaging to the children than not.
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/10/2007 6:51:55 PM | I agree.. if you make a huge deal out of it, then the kids will know it was wrong.. or think they did something bad.
Hasn't anybody ever had someone walk in on them in a toilet? What if you walked in on someone accidentally?
hell,some of the best sitcoms have a "naked" shower scene?
It's just people.. living their lives.
Lighten up folks! | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:20:35 PM | Since I"m a full time mom, I do take showers, but I can trust my daughter not getting anything seriously, I also have the door open to teh bathroom so I can hear her. and she comes in once in awhile to check in or to be near me.
However, it's a different story when you're with another person in the shower, you may be too occupied to notice 2 minutes. It's not as if you had no choice, but since there's another adult, one should watch over the kids while the other takes a shower, or if u want to take a shower together do it when the children are sleeping. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/10/2007 7:32:18 PM | Although I have no problem with the human body,I'm wondering:
I left it unlocked for my gf, she came in after to join me in the shower and forgot to lock it.
Why would you shower with your gf while her child was present? (home, awake) to begin with? Bad choice, if you ask me. You both endangered her child, legally, at the very least.! Grow up!
You are correct, though, as far as teaching a 4 yr-old not to walk into a room with a closed door. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/10/2007 8:42:58 PM | | Another thread full of flames to the OP...I am just curious the idea of this thread to begin with...the OP should be expecting plenty of flames from the readers about a touchy subject like this one. Accidents happen all the time and well,we can't be any different with affection with or w/o the kids around or how will they even know about affection. Couples have taken showers before together w/o doing the nasty all the time. In fact,if you lived in Tennessee right now,you would HAVE to take showers together if you even wanted to get one with the huge water shortage they are having. I mean if the door is locked then I don't see a problem with the two taking a shower together and the four year old isn't thinking the same as we do. She is just a four year old that accidentally walked in and no other thing about it should be addressed. Things like this happen all the time especially if your living in a smaller place. The important thing is to try and always keep doors locked and don't make an issue out of it or it will make it worse. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/10/2007 8:55:44 PM | This shouldn't be relevant but I'll say it anyway - we did not bump uglies in the shower and never have when the kids were awake. Showering together is simply a part of our morning routine. Sleeping in the same bed is part of our routine too - not an uncommon occurence in a long term relationship. Is that wrong? If you feel that it is, you can tell me all about it. I feel that if the kids are influenced by that its probably in teaching proper hygiene and showing affection.
mlsaarln: Why would you shower with your gf while her child was present?
For precisely the same reasons why I shower when the child isn't present.
mlsaarln: Bad choice, if you ask me. You both endangered her child, legally, at the very least.! Grow up!
Legally endangered the child? No more so than what every other parent does every day (except of course for those ordinary parents who suddenly transform into perfect parents when they login online). You're no better than I am - you take showers, bathroom breaks, etc like everyone else.
Kids aren't under constant supervision and in some ways that's a good thing - I want to foster independence in my child. I want her to grow up autonomously and able to rely on herself, not reliant on some over-protective parent constantly looking over her shoulder for an excuse to save her from every difficult situation. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 5:14:54 AM | | Of course, children aren't constantly supervised! I simply meant that, if the child were to tell her father about seeing you naked, or showering with Mommy, a custody battle could ensue. My statement about the legal issue was not a judgement call on your showering together per se, simply pointing out a possible issue. It has happened! | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 11:58:34 AM |
if the child were to tell her father.....
Thankfully not all parents are small minded enough to see nudity being a huge issue in the childs life. Also I think the OP is lucky that his gf's ex has immense respect for her ability to raise their children and allows her to make any necessary decisions regarding them as she sees fit.
The whole point of this thread was because of a disagreement between the OP and his gf. She didn't see what the big deal of her 4yr old seeing him in his birthday suit was. She has never locked the bathroom door when her kids were around. Nudity is not to be ashamed of in her house. The OP was after others opinions on the matter only to see if he was way off base. | |
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Pucks
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Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 35 | |
| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 12:24:28 PM | my pinto peeked thru my boxers once. my little one said dad your boys are out. 
sometimes accidents happen, its not like i go out of my way to expose myself.
Geezzz. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 3:08:05 PM | | This sounds like a discussion that needs to happen between your g/f and you. All parents run into this. One has one idea about something and the other doesn't agree. When you live together, things will get seen by accident. You need to decide how to deal with it with your g/f (what age do you start with the privacy talk? How do you handle it when it happens?). Yelling, probably not a good idea. Just go back to the kid later and say "you suprised me. I didn't mean to yell at you but next time you knock on a closed door." Your g/f just sounds like she is more laid back about this type of thing. You may not be. It's ok. You just have to work out what is comfortable in your family. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 4:12:15 PM | Ok, lets get a few things straight here:
First of all, i myself am not saying that it is a big deal if a child catches a glimpse of you by accident. Just explain to her or have her mum explain to her. She certainly won't be damaged by seeing a naked body and shouldn't be made to feel ashamed or embarrased because that IS damaging.
What i am saying is that...as the question asks....it is not okay generally for a young girl...least of all one who who has only known you a matter of ,months....sees you naked regularly or intentionally and i particularly take issue with any mum who thinks this is ok as she's only known you a matter of months....a time when most would only just be getting to the introductions stage.
I don't think it is wrong for members of the same family see each other naked though, providing they are under a certain age....after that it is more a question of embarrassment and respect than anything else.
I don't think it IS ok for mum to be showering with a man that the children hardly know whilst they are awake, you aren't their father and they probably aren't used to it, they'll be confused, jealous and perhaps a little curious...which is probably why the girl wandered in to see what you were doing.
Last of all, my issue with this situati0n isn't that the girl was left alone whilst you showered, but that it was unneccesary when they were 2 of you in the house and you could have just taken it in turns. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 4:24:04 PM | Ok since the issue here is the kid seeing him naked.....Up to a certain age it's not as big of a deal...Since she is only 4, it's not the end of the world......We were all born naked....Just have to think on making sure the door is locked until you are covered.
It happens, then move on
and secondly the whole leaving the kids alone while showering issue (which is off topic) but since it is being addressed. My goodness some people take this far too seriously. I have 2 kids (4 and almost 6).....I like to shower in the day, usually before I go out and guess what....The reality...the kids are up and about....So lock all the doors, and turn on the cartoons......I never make them half hour showers at these moments....But let's get a grip people, I like most of you are single parents and we all need to be clean.....Before we throw stones, let's think hygiene lol | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 4:41:12 PM | Incidentally, it wouldn't call it an accident. She knew we were in there so she may have been curious or simply needed to use the bathroom.
Last of all, my issue with this situati0n isn't that the girl was left alone whilst you showered, but that it was unneccesary when they were 2 of you in the house and you could have just taken it in turns.
Because we like to shower together. The few minutes of inattention during the shower pose no greater risk than the many other busy moments during a parent's day. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 4:42:52 PM | People.. don't .. read..
The OP lives with his girlfriend. He knows this child WELL. The OP and the G/F live together.. The OP and his LIVE IN G/F were not having sex while in the shower, simply showering.
The OP and the G/F disagreed if it was a big deal the 4 year old saw him naked.
The discussion was never about should you leave your 4 year old alone to have a shower.
Leave it to POF single parents to make assumptions, judgements and basically bash someone on the head unnecessarily.
Gosh, what a bunch of perfect parents you all must be... Like I always say, bet your ex would have something to say about your parenting skills.
Just cause you can type it on here doesn't mean its the truth!!! Nor the right answer!!
Less judgements, more discussion please. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 4:52:29 PM | | Don't YOU read Greeneyed....he admitted himself, about 2 pages back that he's only known this woman a few MONTHS....the relationship is still very new and it takes time to really "know" people! | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 5:09:18 PM |
rockondon:My gf and I have been living together for months..
Apparently it is you claire2282 who either can't read or enjoys making base assumptions. Just because we have been LIVING together for months doesn't mean that we moved in together days after meeting each other....give us some credit please. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 5:58:01 PM | | I don't read profiles before replying. I find that people who usually do that are generally just looking for something they can pick about! So how long have you been together then? What i said still applies BTW, i still don't think it's ok, this man is not the children's father and they're not used to it. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:01:23 PM |
Thankfully not all parents are small minded enough to see nudity being a huge issue in the childs life. Also I think the OP is lucky that his gf's ex has immense respect for her ability to raise their children and allows her to make any necessary decisions regarding them as she sees fit.
The whole point of this thread was because of a disagreement between the OP and his gf. She didn't see what the big deal of her 4yr old seeing him in his birthday suit was. She has never locked the bathroom door when her kids were around. Nudity is not to be ashamed of in her house. The OP was after others opinions on the matter only to see if he was way off base.
since you are his gf, why are you defending yourself in the second person lol. And of course, you're going to biase, because this is about you as well.
And as you see, your daughter is curious, so perhaps some things should be done at a different time so that she doesn't get an eyeful. Yes, nudity should be taught that it's not something bad, but then you also don't want to leave the impression that it's something you want them to be fascinated over.
Ok, tangleme,
you won't have a problem if op's son were to see you naked? | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:40:35 PM |
So how long have you been together then?
I think that is irrelevant for the simple fact it wouldn't matter if I said 1 year or 2 or even 10 months...in some peoples eyes it wouldn't be near long enough.
why are you defending yourself in the second person lol
I did it for the OP's benefit. He got the laugh from it I had intended.
As to your question...I am not ashamed of my body, so no I would have no problem IF he had a son, the 4 year old seeing me in the buff. Nor do I have an issue changing in the same changeroom as his 6 year old daughter after swimming. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:43:48 PM | My kids see me naked frequently. Neither one of them seems embarrassed or overly interested in it. I don't parade around, but sometimes it takes me a second to get my robe on. I see them naked all the time, as neither one of them seems to be embarrassed about it. They see each other naked frequently, also. We all respect anybody saying they need privacy, if they do. It all depends on the age of the kids. I think calmly covering up your weiner, and saying, "excuse me, I'd like some privacy," would have a much less negative impact than yelling at her. Of course, I rarely yell at my kids anyway - it's so disrespectful.
What does bother me is that you're at your girlfriend's house, showering together with her kids there. Ewwwwwww. I imagine that means you're doing all kinds of other naked things together, and that seems like it would mess with a kid's head more than seeing a naked body. I don't "entertain" my male friends while my kids are home. If I happened to have a friend over to shower, I would certainly hope that they wouldn't leave the bathroom door unlocked, OR yell at my kids. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:43:53 PM | would you have an issue if your daughter were to change with her father's gf?
I think women are more comfortable than men to allowing kids seeing them naked. Maybe it's the caught in actin makes them react fast. | |
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