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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 2/27/2008 8:18:14 PM | peachyperfect
if we were not meant to be seen naked then we would all have been born with clothes on!
if you were meant to speak english you would have been born speaking it! Better stop talking I guess
...great reasoning
fixitfred
So looking is okay? How about touching?
this is what we call a straw man argument.
"whats that, you do 'A'? If you do 'A' then you must do 'B' and nobody agrees with 'B' so 'A' must be wrong as well.
Just because someone has a different opinion than you doesn't mean they condone kids and naked touching. Nor does it mean they have sex in the shower in front of their kids. Nor does it mean their significant other is a stranger. Nor does it mean a million other things - it only means they have a different opinion than you. Which is fine, everyone's different.
Similarly stupid and overdramatic straw man statements from you include "I guess you want your child to shack up with any man that makes her tingly", "hide the slippery salami in the shower. Mommy why was there a towel rack in the shower with you poking your butt" (lol), "when your kid is walking down the middle of the street...do you say 'how cute, she wants to be a traffic cop". Apparently your position is so completely without merit that you have to invent ignorant maginary concepts and pretend they apply to your opponent.
She thought that was ridiculous as she thinks many of my rules are. It's called PARENTING.
You and I have different parenting styles then because I explain every rule to my little girl, and to her they make perfect sense.
Yes you scare me as a parent and I think it is sad.
You scare me because you are a parent and I think you are sad
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 2/28/2008 12:36:29 AM | Well I am the most terrible parent ever with some of the rules layed out on here.
My son is four and I cannot keep a stitch of clothing on him when he is at home. He loves running around the house naked. I do not get why he does this. Outside of the home he is fine, he wears his clothes and he doesn't strip in front of everyone, thank goodness!
I am currently taking all of the prereq's for the nursing program. On a morning where I am running behind (from pulling a late night study session), we both take a shower together! Oh goodness my poor son! He does not care. In addition, when I take my anatomy class next fall, I am going to have naked pictures in a lot of books because of my studies. My smart cookie will of course be very curious, and he will learn the different physiological functions of the human body.
It reminds me of a scene from I think it was Kindergarten Cop. The five year old boy tells Arnold that a boy has a penis and a girl has a vagina. He said that his dad was a lady doctor. It was a cute scene.
I know that in other countries around this wonderful planet of ours, this is not an issue. Families bathe, sleep, and eat all in a one room dwelling or outside.
I do feel for the OP though, it is a little shocking when you don't know that someone is coming in the bathroom, but it can happen to anyone. I hate it when I am in a public bathroom stall with a door that doesn't work, and of course every stall is used expect that one and someone pushes it open and EEK!, um I am going, can you wait please?
I think that everyone has understood the point, and now stop bashing please! If everyone had the same parenting style, this world would be full of Stepford children or children of the corn and there would be just grey and no color. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 2/29/2008 9:11:40 PM |
When my children were younger (under 4) it was ok, they didn't notice. But when my son started crying and asking where his sister's pee pee went, (this was when he was 4) I knew it was time to stop the exposed bodies in our home.
I'm just curious as far as this answer goes.... instead of hiding all body parts from view once the difference is noticed, why not sit down with the kids and explain why we have those differences?
Oh and by the way, from what I gather, the OP and his GF aren't strutting around naked, the kid walked into the freakin bathroom. OOPS.
As well, in the opinions of the good people here, when does a BF stop being a stranger and become a step-parent.
And for the woman who freaked out about alberta laws. Nobody is going to jail because a kid walked in on them in teh bathroom. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/16/2008 12:50:48 PM |
Oh and by the way, from what I gather, the OP and his GF aren't strutting around naked, the kid walked into the freakin bathroom. OOPS.
They were together in the bathroom claiming not to have been doing anything. How often do you shower with a man and not do anything? The issue is not just pure nudity which is natural and it should be okay for kids to see. It's about kids seeing adults of the opposite sex together doing who knows what.
As well, in the opinions of the good people here, when does a BF stop being a stranger and become a step-parent.
When they are in a commited relationship as in a marrage. I think they said they were together just a few months. The op and significant other have very loose and liberal views of what a commintment is. They will not be together long! Another 5-10 years would be a miracle but it won't go past that. Their kids will also be live ins with multiple partners and I definatly wont be surprised when at 15 their kids start having kids.
A lot of Canadians have interesting views. If I were a child molester I would head up north to what is looking like a safe haven and probably be in pervert's heaven. Please use more common sense, calm your urges and raise your kids properly. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:08:21 PM |
How often do you shower with a man and not do anything?
I've never showered with another man, but I have showered with most of the GFs (including the one who became my ex-wife) I have had in my adult life. Sometimes there was sex involved, but the majority of the time there wasn't. We simply showered together to save time, or to have a chance to have physical contact that wasn't only for sexual purposes. Bathing someone else can be a very intimate experience in an emotional sense (gives the person being bathed a sense of being nurtured by the other).
It's about kids seeing adults of the opposite sex together doing who knows what.
The OP stated the kid didn't see him and his GF together, so why are you attempting to change the discussion to this point. No one on this board has said that it is ok for kids to see adults having sex.
When they are in a commited relationship as in a marrage. I think they said they were together just a few months. The op and significant other have very loose and liberal views of what a commintment is. They will not be together long! Another 5-10 years would be a miracle but it won't go past that. Their kids will also be live ins with multiple partners and I definatly wont be surprised when at 15 their kids start having kids.
A piece of paper and a few words said by a priest / pastor / judge / whatever does not make a committed relationship. People show commitment to the relationship they are in by their actions, not by signing a piece of paper.
Also, they said they had been living together for months - not that they had been together for months. Based upon the OP we have no idea how long they have been together.
As for how many kids they have... there was a study published a year or so ago (you should be able to easily find it using google) that showed that people who had or were raised in households that had a strong religious or morality focus actually have more children than than their counterparts from more liberal households. So your accusation that they will be breeding like rabbits, and that their kids will be as well, is completely wrong.
In all likelihood your children will have more kids than the OP's.
A lot of Canadians have interesting views. If I were a child molester I would head up north to what is looking like a safe haven and probably be in pervert's heaven. Please use more common sense, calm your urges and raise your kids properly.
Yet another uneducated, baseless comment that has no basis in anything. Maybe you should calm your urge to condemn others, quit preaching your morality as the only correct morality, and take some time to learn how to comprehend what others have written. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/16/2008 2:33:12 PM | I "obviously didn't know her"? Did you call the psychic hotline for that particular divination? My gf and I have been living together for months, I know the kids quite well,
you would have done well to INCLUDE THIS TIDBIT IN THE ORIGINAL POST. this particular information changes the entire dymanic, that and the part where you said in the op "a 4 yr old girl peeked in". you made it sound like you were just spending the nite and your booty call forget to mention there was a tot in the house. heres a notion you might consider though. since you and she clearly have hugely different ideas about child raising, and what is and is not appropriate, you might wanna consider finding out what else you completely disagree on before proceeding with the relationship. how children are raised is a key point as is how ppl handle money and expecations of one another in the relationship.
JUST SOME FOOD FOR THOUGHT. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/16/2008 3:00:32 PM | This is an older thread I rejuvinated it to get more comments on it.
take some time to learn how to comprehend what others have written.
You should take your own advice. Read all the comment and maybe then you can make intelligent comments. You went on a rage with insults and info you assume are facts using your own experiances as a basis. I suspect you have the same values as them you might consider moving to Cananda. Maybe you're one of the people I mentioned and I blew your cover. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/16/2008 8:31:46 PM | Children raised in nudist families learn to have a healthy attitude about their bodies.
Nudist teenagers have a lower teen pregnancy rate because they don't have to fool around in the backseat of a car late some nite at Inspiration Point just to satisfy their curiosity! | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/17/2008 1:29:13 AM | | being a mother myself i think that after a certain age a child doesnt need to see anyone including thier parents naked.... i think after the age of two... for one a line needs to be drawn... the child needs to learn privacy.. thiers and ours... i personally think that a child may get the wrong idea... if a child sees someone naked alot then they make think thats ok and if some other random adult did that they may not tell someone when they needed to. also a child does not need to think its ok thierselfs to be naked infront of someone.. to many creeps out there that have messed up heads... i would go with your gut feeling... i remember when i was four years old. and with this not being your kid im sure she may look back on this one day... and remember. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/17/2008 7:07:57 AM | Hmm, this is a tricky one that I'm not sure about.
On the one hand I think making a huge deal about nudity (ie yelling 'get out') is probably worse than a child seeing nudity.
On the other hand I have a two year old daughter who follows me everywhere and has no concept of privacy 
I'd have to say that while I don't think children need to see us parade in front of them naked, we also don't need to freak out and give them a complex about nudity. People aren't born insecure they have that passed on to them from adults, something to keep in mind. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/17/2008 11:43:55 AM |
You should take your own advice. Read all the comment and maybe then you can make intelligent comments. You went on a rage with insults and info you assume are facts using your own experiances as a basis. I suspect you have the same values as them you might consider moving to Cananda. Maybe you're one of the people I mentioned and I blew your cover.
First, I have read all the comments. I have read what the OP and his GF said happened - that they simply showered, and they did not have sex in the shower - you are the one who assumed that sex was involved. You are the one who made base assumptions and insulted the OP, his GF, and basically anyone else who has a differing opinion.
Second, you really need help. What makes your version of what is moral so superior to what I (or anyone else) believe is moral. Nothing. Despite what most fundamentalists (of any type) believe, morales are relative and no version of morality is absolutely correct.
Third, I did not insult you in any way. I offered a suggestion on something that I believe you really need to do. If you took anything I said as an insult, then maybe in your heart you know that what I suggested is something that you really do need to do.
Finally, I have never been banned from the forums for insulting anyone, you have. It appears that I know how to control what I say without being insulting. You apparently don't. Your first post in this thread was insulting and you have continued your insults throughout this discussion. Maybe a moderator needs to look into this discussion and see if you need a few more days away from the forums to rethink your posting style. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 3/17/2008 2:59:30 PM | I took a break from this thread because it appears both the op and live in girlfriend have no moral compass as you also appear not to have. They lacked the basic understanding of what they were doing is wrong so there was little I could do to convince them otherwise. Maybe where you come from these are friendly remarks:
Yet another uneducated, baseless comment
Second, you really need help
You go off topic to try to talk down to me and thats not insulting? (this is a rule violation by the way) You just make up stuff and say I'm wrong. My reference is basic Christian standards that can be found in the bible. Come back in 10 years when your daughter is pregnant or another 15 when shes taking her kid from live in bf to the next to potentially get molested then you can tell me about your made up standards being superior. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/26/2008 5:32:13 PM | I think that is taking things to far. I was raised in a wonderful christian home, and I am a single mother. Is that because my parents were wrong? No, its because I married the wrong man. Living with someone in a commited relationship is not a bad thing to do. I have known many ppl that have had very loving and wonderful relationships with out the paper making it legal. I have nothing against marriage. But I do not think that it is nessacery to have a healthy loving relationship..
The whole issue here is not marriage, it is a child seeing a nude body. Is that bad? No, it is normal. I have a 4 year old son and he frequently see's my naked body. He does not think anything of it because I do not make a big deal out of it. I'm his mom, he has been with me his whole life, naturally he has seen me naked. I'm sure he will again. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:04:01 AM | Fact: The incidence of child sexual abuse by a step-parent is SIGNIFICANTLY higher than by a biological parent.
No sensationalism. Do the research.
It is our DUTY as parents to protect our children.
Sexual abuse is a progressive.
No accusation here. Just be aware. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/27/2008 9:41:31 AM | ahhhh... You do know that kids have all those parts tooo eh. And you have to explain what they're for someday!
I agree, explain that it is rude to walk in on people, but no worries after that. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:47:38 PM | i just had to read this one ..not all but here we go ....it happened to me and I was just talking about this a little while ago ..,,not quite the same situation ,,she was my daughter ,,i was still married ,, i was the first one up and having a shower when my 3 yr old daughter came in on me ,,she was starting to like having showers with her mom and when she heard the water ..well she slipped into that shower while i was still in it.and was getting ready to sit at the back of the tub and enjoy a little shower with me. i called out to my wife for some help and faced the wall ,and continued to yell out to get the wife up to rescue me ..,but she saw something different about me and was pointing and trying to get another look around my leg ,,and said ,,daddy whats that ?? oh god i was in a spot..well it was an innocent question and she did notice i wasn't the same as her ,,so i jumped out and grabbed a towel ..and she was asking away still trying to get a look even with my towel on ..and i said ,,well,,i am a man ..and explained that she was a girl .. like Mommy ..the next weekend was a little nerving when she would point at all the men who stopped over and say ..your a man .....i was terribly embarrassed ,,but it soon faded once she stopped saying that to all my friends who came over ..she never got another look at me and now she is a grown women ,and when i think back on the moment ,,i was the one who was embarrassed to hell and wasn't sure how or if I handled the situation properly..she had many more questions and this turned out to be just one of hundreds of questions she would ask while growing up ,,some were easier then others ...I just never forgot that one ...is it ok to see you naked ..i say not if i can help it ,,but it happens ,,how you handled it was ok ..she is only 4 and should not be walking in ,,but they do ,yelling at her to get out was probably a natural reflex ..we all never started locking doors until the kids were in school ,after my incident teaching the children to respect a persons privacy while they are in the bathroom is a lesson I drilled the kids on ..always knock first..bathrooms -bedrooms -front doors..and they all started after that day ....
and Fixitfred,,no thanks ,,I am Canadian ,,you can keep them ...we don't have the death penalty up here ,,so some of your worst criminals flee here,,we should bring it back just to prevent this sort of safe haven ..or you should get rid of yours and give life sentences instead ,which would be far worse then an easy fast out if you ask me..but this is another topic.. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/29/2008 5:57:31 AM | I grew up in Europe and nudity isn't some big fat scarey thing there. Commercials for shower products show nude bodies, the beaches all have a nude section. I don't get why it is so frightening in this hemisphere. Just dumb.
Yelling at a kid makes them think they've done something wrong, when in fact OP, YOU messed up by not locking the door (as a few have said, showering with your gf with the kid around is bad form). This kind of early trauma creates women later in life who are afraid of sex because even early learning about bodies was turned into a big fat hairy deal.
Privacy is something kids learn. Kids learn at different ages and at some point they themselves discover their need for privacy. But every look at a naked body is not a sexual thing.
I think you need to apologize to that little girl and then explain that you would like her to knock on the bathroom door before she enters. Matter of fact, plain and simple. No need for yelling. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/29/2008 2:45:37 PM | I didn't even realize until now that fixitfred revived this thread last month. Evidently he did so to fulfill his need to whine.
How often do you shower with a man and not do anything?
Just because you do stuff with the men you shower with, doesn't mean everyone does. Some people take showers because...drum roll please...wait for it....wait for it... to get clean.
They will not be together long! Another 5-10 years would be a miracle but it won't go past that. Their kids will also be live ins with multiple partners and I definatly wont be surprised when at 15 their kids start having kids.
Yet more evidence that the dumber a person is, the more adept they claim to be at knowing the future.
Your statement is ironic considering that you are divorced yourself. I'll look elsewhere for relationship advice, thanks.
If I were a child molester I would head up north to what is looking like a safe haven and probably be in pervert's heaven.
oh I know, there's not nearly so much competition. See you soon I guess hey? 
I see that you are baptist. And after seeing the hate and intolerance you dish out on a regular basis, I'm guessing you're a member of Westboro Baptist Church. Have you picketed any soldiers' funerals lately? Taught any toddlers to sing "God hates the world"? Keep up the good word brother.
My reference is basic Christian standards that can be found in the bible. Come back in 10 years when your daughter is pregnant or another 15 when shes taking her kid from live in bf to the next to potentially get molested then you can tell me about your made up standards being superior.
Christian standards hey? The Journal of Religion and Society did a massive study you might find interesting.
In general, higher rates of belief in and worship of a creator correlate with higher rates of homicide, juvenile and early adult mortality, STD infection rates, teen pregnancy, and abortion....There is evidence that within the U.S. strong disparities in religious belief versus acceptance of evolution are correlated with similarly varying rates of societal dysfunction, the strongly theistic, anti-evolution south and mid-west having markedly worse homicide, mortality, STD, youth pregnancy, marital and related problems than the northeast where societal conditions, secularization, and acceptance of evolution approach European norms.
http://moses.creighton.edu/JRS/2005/2005-11.html
Keep up the hypocrisy, arrogance, and ill-formed opinions Fred. We all like to have someone to make fun of on POF. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/30/2008 5:50:13 AM | Hey OP, if you are part of this woman's life and you are around her kids all the time you might have tricky situations show up on a regular basis. It is the nature of kids to push things.
I think men fear the whole pedophile thing so much that the reaction to anger is knee jerk. But anger will make the kid feel like she did something wrong and she might even feel guilty. If you didn't set up the parameters about a closed door before hand, then you can't hold her to knocking first. Also, 4 yr olds by nature forget. You need to forgive. I live in a house with teens who just walk in. It is part of dealing with kids.
She won't be damaged by seeing you naked, but anger will damage her. Next time, if you forget to lock the door, just send her out and close the door. A simple "I'm in here, it is my turn, out" without anger will work. Then you go out and talk to her. Calmly, quietly. Tell her that YOU like to be alone in the bathroom and she has to stay out. You should apologize if you yelled at her and tell her she didn't do anything wrong.
Nudity is such a big deal in this country. But really I'd rather my kids see nudity and natural sexuality on TV then the horrible violence that seems to pervade. You can't see a set of boobs or a penis without the whole world flipping out...but it's ok to slice off limbs, blow people up or shoot holes in someone. Sick world.
Don't beat yourself up about it OP. Decide your boundries and then talk to the little girl. Knock before you come in. I don't want to see you naked, and I don't want you to see me naked. I like my privacy. The big thing is to make sure that emotionally this incident hasn't messed her up, so talk it out if you can. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/30/2008 10:15:18 AM | My son is 4, And he's seen my naked countless times. Not by open invitation, Just it happens. I've been trying to teach my son how try to be good for our environment, One thing we do is conserve water, He will have his bath and then when he is done I will add a bit more hot water and slunk into it myself (Dont worry, I have a quick rinse off with the shower head afterwards). So he sees often the exposed not quick to cover up parts if he looks over while brushing his hair/teeth/cleaning his ears and so on.
Sometimes when getting dressed he barges in and asks me if he can have a treat or something. I dont make a big deal out of it. He does point out things like I have "A monkey butt" and used to ask questions about why my body is different than his. But he's young and curious about why people are different, So I tell him the real names for men and womans differences and have never had to explain it again.
Also, I thought I'd share a story from my childhood that to this day makes me laugh.
One of my best friends moms' are really hollistic/organic/woman loving.... I would go over to her house to play with my friend and often the mom would just be walking around naked, Me and my friend were 12... Her husband, her 10 year old, 6 year old and 2 year old, Were all there too. It didnt traumatize me, Or set off any alarms with my parents when I told them, They just said "Oh, Crazy Linda" and figured it was best if me and my friend played at my house so her mother could feel earthy without my company. Later on, Her mom started taking her midwive courses and became OBSESSED with the lady anatomy, And would have those funny *Take apart woman anatomy* you see in health courses all over her house, She even bought a examination table when she completed her license and placed an add in the paper offering to "Compensate" woman comfortable enough to let a new Midwife give them examinations down below for her studies. When I got pregnant a few years later, It was all I could do to keep her baby loving hands from examining the "changes" my body was going through. Please dont be mistaken, She's no pervert...She's just really eccentric, and I thought I'd share. Oh crazy Linda. Ha ha ha. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:18:16 PM | | i think if you keep the issue at a four year olds level.. such as the privacy issue. then lets take it to the next level for you and your girlfriend.. self respect and the respect of everyone that might walk through an unlocked door. just give your head a shake and do the right thing in the future. thats what locks are four.. lol.. i like the way i used that four there.. lol.. don't beat your self up.. lets not let this get to the opera stage.. lol.. | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/30/2008 7:22:08 PM | I've taken showers with men plenty of times and not did anything. Who the heck wants to risk slipping and breaking your neck? Lol.
But I am comfortable being naked in front of my daughter and she sees it quite often. However, anyone else that did it I would freak out. I guess I figure that she came out of my vagina so what doesn it matter if she sees it. That's just me. Plus who wants to get dressed every time they wake up at night? | |
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| is it okay for kids to see you naked?
Posted: 4/30/2008 9:30:40 PM |
I guess I figure that she came out of my vagina so what doesn it matter if she sees it.
I dont know why...But the word "Vagina" always seems to come out sounding like the exasperated version said by Cuba Gooding Junior in "Rat Race". "VUH-juy-nuuuuh".
Has anyone else heard that the name come from the ancient days and that it was the caseing for a sword to safely be stored at ones side. I dont know if its true. I'm asking.
Still, I hate the word Vagina.. It always sounds gross. | |
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