| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/11/2007 2:54:50 PM |
Look out for the alien anal probe. It really stings.
But so does finally pulling our head out of our ass...
I'm bound and determined to make the benefit worth the price. | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/11/2007 3:07:33 PM |
All I can say is that Sock definitely got our "Cali pond of men" thinkin' on a deeper level than I've ever seen before! It's kinda cool seeing men helping men on a serious, thought-provoking subject
Amen to what christy2luv said... Please don't hide Sock, come out of that cave cause there are plenty of poodles here that want to enjoy your company and NO one is perfect, not even me!
I have a deeper admiration for you.. Again, Will You Marry Me??? (i know, stand in line, again?) | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/11/2007 4:00:15 PM | Great thread, Sock! Thank you!
<div class="quote">They have to tend to and heal their own wings. They are the only ones who can put down the burdens they are carrying. You cannot take those burdens from them.
I tend to agree with Trix on this one, you have to heal yourself. I've been broken before and when I have been, I have been known to go into hiding, think about things, heal myself and deal with the load. When I've done this, I've emerged as a stronger person. You can have your support network, but ultimately you are responsible for yourself. I know a lot of people of both genders who intentionally seek out the "broken" as they feel the need "to save" people. I've tried a couple of times myself, and now prefer the "exotic" and "elusive" together person. I'm not claiming to be the ultimate "together" person, but I have worked very hard on myself and am continuing to grow, and would prefer the same in a partner.
Now we need 2 cents or a $10 or $20 from Dr. Robert.  | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/11/2007 6:27:03 PM | Sock, dude, I know what you mean.
As I am writing this to you, I am also writing it to myself.
The short answer is, "no, you cannot help someone, especially not a lover."
You know yourself how hard it is to deal with your own pattern. So what makes you think that you can deal with anyone else's? And when both you an she are under the influence of romantic delusion, it's even more unlikely that you can do anything effective. All you can do is enjoy her for who she is. If she needs "fixing" in some way, that means that you _aren't_ enjoying her as much as you'd hoped. It can be a whole lot easier to try to "fix" her than it is to just accept the fact that she's not what you were hoping for (or what her best behavior led you to believe she was), and move on.
The energy that beckons you so compellingly has nothing to do with those women, who are really just serving as mirrors for your own feminine side. They feel so familiar because they reflect a need for rescuing that is inside _you._
The first thing they teach you about how to save someone who's drowning is that they will do everything they can to stand on top of your head. Your best bet to survive the rescue attempt is to sneak up on them from behind, get them in a good firm choke hold, and be prepared to choke them out if they won't stop thrashing.
What functional adult would want to get involved in a relationship like that?
But, the pattern has been set, and the inclination is what it is. At this point, I can't seem to help but get involved with women who I think need rescuing. All those damned Superman programs on TV no doubt. What I am doing, which is progress for me, is refusing to bite. I listen, I empathize, but I do not intervene. At all. If asked, I talk about what I think I would do, but I always preface my remarks by saying that she needs to decide for herself, and also that she probably won't like my approach very much.
What I've found is that the moment I intervene the hook is set. If she takes any advice I give and isn't happy with the result, then I'm to blame for the entire thing--or else I somehow wind up covering for the whole thing even if my part in it was only slight. Unraveling the damage I did by participating at all is just too complicated.
So Sock, man, I really do empathize. At this point I'm hoping some really sharp woman with a lot on the ball sweeps in and rescues YOU! | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/11/2007 7:59:09 PM | Ace said,
The energy that beckons you so compellingly has nothing to do with those women, who are really just serving as mirrors for your own feminine side.
** Stepping out of line... C2L wants a manly man!**
If she takes any advice I give and isn't happy with the result, then I'm to blame for the entire thing--
Isn't that the way it's supposed to work Ace??  | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/11/2007 8:17:40 PM | I've been an Angel with a broken wing.
But I've never looked for a man to fix me and the problems I've had (have). I've shared them with men I've dated and they've made me leary about the relationships I've been in. But the only person who's responsible for fixing any problems I've had... is me.
I hadn't read this whole thread, I just read it a few minutes ago. Probably because it hit very close to home because as I stated at the beginning I've been an Angel with a broken wing.
I commend the men who have posted here and have opened yourselves up to us. I think there are many, many men and women who've had a broken wing at some point in our lives. And many of us have managed to mend it on our own. That doesn't mean the scars aren't still there. Mine are, they run deep and I will most likely carry them with me forever. But that doesn't mean that I'm going to dig down to where they are just so I can re-live them. They are there as reminders to make sure I do things differently in the future, to not repeat the same mistakes I've made in the past.
I don't need a man to fix me... I WANT a man to walk beside me, to be my partner in life. | |
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MissAG
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Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 36 | |
| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/11/2007 11:13:17 PM | It's funny...I just finished to respond to another post in "Over45" :
Strong women vs. damsel in distress: which is right?
It's about the women who don't want to be damsels in distress....or angels with broken wings. Women you don't have to rescue because they don't need you to.......
I was one of them once and now I would like to be rescued and I would not fly away when my wing is healed.
Sock, don't give up....one day you will find and angel that stays with you after being fixed.......see...so many are already waiting in line to marry you. | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:07:11 AM | If she takes any advice I give and isn't happy with the result, then I'm to blame for the entire thing-- Isn't that the way it's supposed to work Ace??
Well, LOL, it sure seems to work out that way, right or not!
I dunno, I imagine that Sock might want a partner who can fly along with him. I sure want that for him ... and for her!
Hey Sock, why do you think you've been choosing partners who keep you grounded? Or maybe it would be easier if I asked it this way:
Hey Sock, why do you think I've been choosing partners who keep me grounded? | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:27:28 PM | A scorpion needed to cross a stream, so he asked a frog if he could carry him across the water. The frog said, "But you are a scorpion and you will sting me, then we will both drown." The scorpion relied, "No I won't, because I would die too." Since that made sense to the frog, he started out across the water giving the scorpion a ride on his back. Halfway across the stream, the scorpion stung the frog. As they both began drowning, the bewildered frog asked the scorpion why he stung him, even when he knew he would die, too. The scorpion calmly replied, "I stung you, because that's my nature..."
I'm learning that when you dedicate a large portion of your efforts and your own identity to help someone who has a broken wing, they might take you both down because their chronic injury is somehow serving a purpose for them. They may or may not be aware that their condition might be useful to them in other areas and in other ways. But whether their injury and it's purpose exists through no fault of the angel, or it has remained there for a long time because the angel subconsciously needs it to be there, the bottom line is that the Rescuer proceeds to give help at his/her own risk.
It's heartbreaking and frustrating to throw a life ring to a drowning person who will not swim to it to save themselves, but perhaps I am witnessing them working out their karma, and maybe I'm actually interfering in their long-term welfare. There might not be anything "wrong" with the situation, it might be simply the Universe doing It's work--whether little old me understands and approves of the process or not. The author Richard Bach (Jonathan Livingston Seagull, The Bridge Across Forever, etc.) wonders if the Golden Rule concept has it all wrong--that if we do unto others as we would have them do unto us, maybe we are messing up their destinies. Maybe they don't want or need our standard of how we are to behave toward them. He has a point: Presuming that a generally-accepted and universally taught standard is what others deserve and expect and want from us, smacks of arrogance and risks simply being wrong.
From now on; the prescription is less asking why does it have to be, and more whoop there it is and do I have the ability, or even the right, to try to "fix" it? I'm concluding that us Rescuers need to start perceiving the Injured's situations using the triage method--give assistance to those who are in really bad shape, but only if it appears that they will actually benefit from the help (or really want it in the first place). If not, move on to the others.
Or maybe it's time I rescue ME into becoming someone who will gladly help others, but doesn't NEED to help others in order to feel that I'm pulling my weight in this world.
(Or if someday I truly dummy up, maybe then I will toss out all of this deep, contemplative, sensitive, evolved stuff, and just enjoy titties and beer and box scores.
Hey, it's tempting...) | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/12/2007 12:52:32 PM | A little bit of devil's advocate here (and I'm laughing for thinking that I even really would want to go here):
Okay, so we understand why we should not want to get involved with the ones that need fixing, or a fixer. So how, if you've been used to starting relationships with the ones who are needy this way (as opposed to the ones that are complete and don't really need *you* anyway??), how do you change yourself and your methods to instead be more prone to the non-needy? Is this the logical next question for growth here? lol. The obvious answer might be, go get yourself so that you don't need anybody, then go find someone who doesn't need anybody, and then convince each other that you really need each other???? Sounds like a conundrum to me....on to the confused couch. | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/12/2007 1:16:41 PM |
if the Golden Rule concept has it all wrong--that if we do unto others as we would have them do unto us, maybe we are messing up their destinies. I think the golden rule, when you really examine it... applies here and in most situations.
You are overlooking the obvious, if it were you that were drowning in problems, would you really want someone to fix them for you, or would you after taking the initial help, want to resolve them yourself? Then that is how you treat others. With the respect for your independence that you would hope you would be paid in that or a similar situation. I cannot in my wildest dreams imagine that you would want someone to fix everything for you.
I think we all know that very few people learn by seeing someone screw up, and most of us learn by experiencing failure in our own lives. That is what makes failure an acceptable experience. | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:03:24 PM |
Or maybe it's time I rescue ME into becoming someone who will gladly help others, but doesn't NEED to help others in order to feel that I'm pulling my weight in this world.
That sounds like the right way to look at it. Brilliant, Sock!
So all you girls in line to marry Sock, still interested? LOL!!!! | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:06:31 PM |
The obvious answer might be, go get yourself so that you don't need anybody, then go find someone who doesn't need anybody, and then convince each other that you really need each other???? Sounds like a conundrum to me....on to the confused couch.
When I get this one figured out, I'll let you know. The logical part of my brain says that you don't have to convince each other of anything. You just enjoy each other. It keeps being fun so you stay with it. It's not about "need," but about mutual admiration.
LOL!!! Well, a guy can dream, can't he!  | |
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| Can an Angel With a Broken Wing Ever Fly?
Posted: 11/12/2007 3:45:04 PM | VT,
You'd sure think that someone drowining in problems might appreciate a rescue! Wouldn't that be nice! 
C2L,
You say you want a manly man, but now that Sock has opened up you say you want him!! Oh, I get it. I blew the protocol by opening up _before_ establishing my credentials as a "manly man." Nevermind.
Hey Wonkabar, are you following this?
Lisetn O4, let's stop whinin' about how screwed up things are and have us some fun. First, we'll down some brewskis and smoke a few seegars down at the titty bar! Then we can go ridin' one o' them thar mechanical bulls before we head on over to the card club and take down a few of those fishes (suckers) in there! We can use our winnings to rent us some four-wheelers and kick up a little mud!!! When were done with that we can open up a can of whip*ass playing capture the flag at the local paintball course and fire off a few rounds at the pistol range to cool down.
Whaddaya say dude?!!!
Hey Sock, if you can pry all the women offaya for a minute, 'yer welcome to come along!
No ladies, I'm afraid that this is a guy thing! Feel free to talk about us all you want to while we're gone though!
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