| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 7:35:05 AM | OP heres what u do find a girl, go out with her get close, then have a good friend start hanging around ur house more and more. Then and this is key, start being very distant, busy all the time, forget her birthday and other special days. But make sure that ur friend always remembers to get her something. Dont carry her out but let him, eventually feelings will form and just be there at the right time when they do. then BOOM there u go problem solved, ur fantasy fullfiled, then when she feels guilty just tell its ok and that u forgive her and still love her and that it was your fault if u hadnt been so distant.
U will come across as sweet and a gentle man and she will like u more and u will fullfill ur fantasy 
This is of course my pathetic attempt at sarcasm doing something like this is playing with someones feelings, that never ever ends well | |
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| just cause you don't like it -get over yourself
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:06:59 AM | If you don't want all responses those that you want and those that you don't perhaps you shouldn't post your questions on a public forum looking for self assurance! | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:07:35 AM | People never cease to amaze me on these sites.....
But at least the guy is straightforward, which is refreshing in itself for sure.....
My experience is that most of the women are 'clickity-clicking' living vicariusly on the web anyway......still others seem addicted to attention, praise or friggen 'chitchat'.....
I suddenly have the need to go wash my hands...... | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:20:13 AM | MT,
There is no easy time to explain to a person you are interested in that type of relationship, but I would think it is best to mention your desires fairly soon. I know a lot of people who have long term relationships in a less than traditional way, but it doesn't mean it can't happen, you just have to find the right person.
I don't think it much matters where you go looking, as there are lot's of people who have similiar fetishes and desires, but because of fear, would never freely admit it, least of all on a dating site. The odds are not stacked in your favor to have a stampede of women who want a submissive male who enjoys knowing that his partner is being bedded by other men. but I'm sure there are a few women who might consider the idea if you both had a good relationship.
Course, I'd also be careful what I wish for...because you stated you 'maybe' would like this in your relationship, but sometimes that isn't always the case. Good luck on ya quest...for the right gal. | |
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medana
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Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 32 | |
| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:32:36 AM | ok, this is going to sound pretty raw, but if your into the lifestyle, just simply say "Cuckold in search of a Slut Wife/Partner".
Anybody who is into it, will understand that it isn't a demeaning thing to say, they will understand the role titles and will be open to it with you.
are u serious??? use demeaning words, then say it's not really, i know, i see the sun, u tell me 'hunny, it's the moon, trust me' and i should agree to that, hay? call someone a slut then tell them it's not degrading... yeah, that works, i see how that attitude will help ur love life... lol
it really is not about WHAT u say, rather HOW u say it... how about just 'i'm a lil kinky, it turns me on to see my woman having sex w other people' swingers do that all the time, no big deal.
as for the OP... one thing... would have taken ten less muscles to copy and paste definition as opposed to writing an explanation as to why u wont. makin it hard might be self defeating when u ask people for an opinion, ya know.
as for the point at hand... whats the big deal. no one said the woman has to be forced to degrade herself. what if u love someone then u see a hotie one day, and u say to urself just as one previous poster said : ' got my cake, i can eat it too, and ten more...' lol i see an advantage on my part here he he he
i am pro experimenting. i will hang from the chandellier making monkey sounds if thats what turns my man on. then he better be ready for his own jungle theme he he he.
my point is when it comes to a couple's intimacy, church , prudes and various opinionated individuals that tell u how to live ur life, better stay the heck out.
i'd say let the woman know once u have been intimate and comfortable w one another enough to get to a level of trust and openess that exceeds the standard defensive response we have towards people we barely know.
best way might be to try and open her to swinging parties. meaning take her to parties where people have sex and no one is pressured into doing more than watching. some people change partners, some have sex w their partner only, in front of others, some just watch. i used to go a lot, i love watching, never really participated because it takes mental stimulation for me to want someone. but being in the room w such high sexual energy is electrifying and def a lot of fun
so dont worry, u wont have problems at all. i do recommend educating urself w the swinging community, u might just find ur love right there, already in the lifestyle.
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 8:47:09 AM | The phrase, "slut wife" is not used in a degrading manner in this sense. It is a label that describes a specific lifestyle and it not being used as a pejorative label. The more common term is "hot wife" and interestingly, women tend to be the ones who will use "slut wife" more than "hot wife". They've appropriated the term to reflect a positive lifestyle that they choose to live and supports their primary relationship.
Your opposition to the male having extra-marital relationships is classic cuckoldry and is part of the humiliation aspect that men who seek a classic cuckoldry relationship are seeking. She can have all she wants, he can have what she allows, including herself or not.
Lastly, it isn't cheating when one is given permission from their partner and it is a negotiated agreement between them.
ACP | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 10:05:50 AM | Hello everyone
First I wanted to say hello to Toby and say that I never wrote that I didnt want everyones input. Actually I believe I wrote somewhere that writing in a public forum is a double edged sword, meaning you get positive and negative. All I'm saying is if your opinion is negative it can still be respectful and I respect your point of view even if I dont share it and so far I don't think you've been intentionally disrespectful.
To be clear I'm not a sex crazed neanderthaal, actually I'm highly educated and intelligent and as I mentionned before, respecful of all people. Some have been curious about a few things so I thought I would answer some of those questions.
1. Did I write the add in order to attract response from women who might be interested? The answer is it wasnt my first objective but it was in the back of my mind and I wouldn't be disappointed if some "closest cuckoldresses" as someone put it, did contact me in private.
2. Some of you wanted to know if I was looking for more of a hotwife or more of a cuckold relationship. The answer is somewhere in between. In the 10 years or since I discovered this lifestyle which is a subculture of swinging, I've found chatting with real couples in the "scene" that every couple is different and every arrangement is as different as people are different. Not being someone very extreme, simply adventurous, I'm more middle of the road. I do know that I am not interested in swinging as I'm not really interested in more than one woman, with the exception of saying that I would, if it pleased my partner that I do so. Personally I would decribe myself as a voyeur from a very early age and then it evolved into a deep interest in cuckoldry.
3. I wanted to answer that splendid beautiful Romanian sweetheart that so kindly posted on this thread about the use of the word slut. I didn't use the word in this forum because it is public and I think language is a powerful thing and can awake many emotions running the complete range from rage to extreme arousal. I also think the word can be used meaning different things and differs depending on the structure of the phrase it is in, the tone in which it is delivered and by whom. I also think that the word often mistakenly attributed to women and is a raw deal for those of the feminin gender. Let me explain. If a man sleeps around with many woman...if he is a nice guy or not ...he's described as a "Stud", meaning he is verile, manly, conquering, strong. A woman sleeps around weather she is nice or not will automatically have this label of slut used which is understood by the vast majority of the populations of the world to mean that she is, a woman of loose morals, uncontrolled, unpure, deviant, depraved. The word nymphomaniac is used for woman with a high sex drive but is rarely applied to men but would seem more appropriate given their general disposition to fornicate whenever possible (I don't exclude myself from this point of view in order not to seem like a hypocrite). There simply isn't another word that exist in the english language that describes a woman who is sexually empowered other then perhaps vixen but here again there seems to be undertones of deviousness. Anyway I've gone on long enough.
I look forward to reading more of your responses | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 10:45:54 AM | | The only problem with this is that women may actually not mind your fetish, but I have a feeling many woudl not be honest for fear of being judged early on so they may so "no" and actually be open to it. Many women fear being judged, disrespected, or think they are being tested by the guy to see if she is off center and thus more likely to act out. Many of those women later on might express their openess to it once they feel thy can be sincere and not worry about the aforementioned possibilities. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 11:45:32 AM | OP,
I have encountered several men who were either into "swinging" or into another type of "scene". Was I bothered by it? No. These men were honest with me--even though it was obvious that they wanted "straight sex" from me. They had been married and were swingers with their wives; now they were divorced, but were still interested. I'm a little bit more "open-minded" to understand why men--and women--enjoy this lifestyle. (At least this is what I have been told--but the fellows could have been lying...) Would I "engage" in this type of lifestyle? I have no idea, as I'm not deeply involved with someone at present. One thing I do know is that I would have to have a trusting relationship with my partner before he and I tried anything like this.
Please enjoy whatever "lifestyle" you wish, OP. Everyone is entitled to enjoy his/her life--as long as it doesn't disrespect another person, or demean them. Since you are a respectful individual--that may appear to be a little "off" by "traditional" standards--I'm sure you will find a lovely woman who would be more than happy to excite you and want to make your fantasies come true because she shares them. Best of luck. Good luck, that is... | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/12/2007 2:50:45 PM |
are u serious??? use demeaning words, then say it's not really, i know, i see the sun, u tell me 'hunny, it's the moon, trust me' and i should agree to that, hay? call someone a slut then tell them it's not degrading... yeah, that works, i see how that attitude will help ur love life... lol
Medonna, in cuckoldry there are 3 players.
The cuckold (Husband)
The Cuckoldress (Wife)
The Bull (The Wives lover)
There are other names within the culture that are commonly used, as someone else pointed out there is Hot Wife and as I have pointed out, there is Slut Wife.
In the Cuckold culture, the term Slut wife is not a derogatory term, it is just another way of saying Cuckoldress. It can also determine the manner in which she partakes in cuckoldry.
Hot Wife in general, regards a married woman who enjoys being admired by other men and will work with the cuckold male in choosing their extra-marital partners.
A Slut Wife generally is the term used when humiliation is part of the cuckold life, meaning the husband has little or no say in who she chooses for a bull or how many she chooses for that matter. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/13/2007 3:39:53 AM | Hello everybody
Again I really want to thank everyone for their point of view so far. I was really impressed by the though put in to some of your posts. At this point most of you feel that I should mention it pretty early on and even right at the beginning. One person thought I should mention it specifically on my profile and another said I should mention I'm looking for someone open minded. I'm leaning towards editing my profile and putting something on it but I'm concerned that being too specific will scare off many potential matches. What do you guys think ? | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/13/2007 5:28:33 AM |
A Slut Wife generally is the term used when humiliation is part of the cuckold life, meaning the husband has little or no say in who she chooses for a bull or how many she chooses for that matter.
I feel the need to add though that this is not always true. Sometimes the men will aide in picking the bulls ect...but that is more of a "Hot wifeing situation." In a Cuckoldress situation, the woman is Domme and in control. Not all choose to be seens as a "Slut Wife" and therefore in a search I would leave the term out as it may exclude some women who might desire the lifestyle and also might turn off someone who may be new to the lifestyle. Some women choose only one or two long term Bulls/lovers for fluid bound safety sake (allowing them to safely allow the hubbies to partake in creampies). Their cucks/husbands are no less cucked and there are MANY other ways that humiliation can and does come into play. 
On another note, I have heard of SLUT being used for an acronym standing for Sexually Liberated Unadulterated Temptress...  | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/13/2007 1:42:33 PM |
I feel the need to add though that this is not always true. Sometimes the men will aide in picking the bulls ect...but that is more of a "Hot wifeing situation." In a Cuckoldress situation, the woman is Domme and in control. Not all choose to be seens as a "Slut Wife" and therefore in a search I would leave the term out as it may exclude some women who might desire the lifestyle and also might turn off someone who may be new to the lifestyle. Some women choose only one or two long term Bulls/lovers for fluid bound safety sake (allowing them to safely allow the hubbies to partake in creampies). Their cucks/husbands are no less cucked and there are MANY other ways that humiliation can and does come into play.
On another note, I have heard of SLUT being used for an acronym standing for Sexually Liberated Unadulterated Temptress...
 :-) I realize this, but was trying to keep it PC I guess I should say, Cuckoldry is something alien to the masses and I figured going into to much detail about what actually takes place in the humiliation side of things would just add fuel to the fire. | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 11/13/2007 1:58:41 PM | | I'm actually interested in knowing why you enjoy this,OP. Not because I think it's wrong or weird, quite the contrary. I've run across a man who has no problem with me seeing other men. Maybe not with him in the room, but knowing that I'm "dating" others. I can't quite wrap my mind around it. I can understanding "swinging", but not about this other guy. If you could PM me, maybe I can at least try to understand his thinking. Would this be possible? | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 1/23/2009 9:24:51 PM | Wow, I agree this is not the same old post...and way to revive it after all this time!!
Personally I'm not interested in it at all, I'm a one man woman, but to each their own. I think you should mention it in your profile outright...using the term and perhaps offering a link to a site that gives the definition you are meaning (wiki gives more then one definition so they might think you mean the current one, not the traditional one). Then there's no worrying about it as the relationship develops. I'm thinking people will wither be for it or against it so if it's a deal breaker kinda thing for you then make that known asap.
Since you started the post in 2007 what kind of responses have you had? You're still here so I take it you haven't found your one true cuckold lover. | |
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mlj
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Joined: 10/26/2008
Msg: 48 | |
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| Should a guy be up front about his desires to be a cuckold or wait till later to confess it?
Posted: 1/24/2009 6:09:51 AM | | I think you should find a way to write this into your profile. I would want to know about something like this before building a relationship with a man. I have twice started relationships with men who told me of a must have sex act that I objected to before I ever met them in person. I was glad to have the opportunity to say "no, I'm not willing to do that" before I had put a lot of effort into the relationship. | |
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