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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:36:11 AM |
its very different than actually being divorced
So today I am separated and tomorrow the judge signs a document and suddenly.. according to you.. I am now in a better "emotional" position? Please.
I will never understand why folks simply can't accept that every person and situation is different. | |
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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:40:22 AM | ^^^ I do agree with that, and the cynic in me also thinks that for some women it may be that you're not "financially available" until after the divorce is final!  | |
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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 6:49:49 AM | because noone is emotionally ready for anyone when they are still in a marriage, This is simply not always true. And when you are separated you are not "still in a marriage".
even if they are living separate, its very different than actually being divorced. And wrong again.
So today I am separated and tomorrow the judge signs a document and suddenly.. according to you.. I am now in a better "emotional" position? Please.  Exactly.
Of course there needs to be time to process and recover from a marriage ending. You may or may not be divorced by then.
I will never understand why folks simply can't accept that every person and situation is different. And again, exactly!
Anyone that is narrow minded enough to think that, without exception, Separated = not ready to date & Divorced = ready to date is both deluded and lazy.
Wake up. No 2 people or 2 situations are ever alike. | |
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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:19:15 AM | I am starting to dip my toes back in the dating pool again (although not via this site) even though I'm still merely separated. I haven't found my legal status to be a hinderance in my own search.
I'm picky, I'm not looking for quantity. Or a replacement for my EX-wife. I'm looking for intelligence, stability, and balance. And above all else someone who is still open and hasn't closed themselves off. Anyone who immediately shuts down upon hearing my status is too closed off to be anyone I'm interested in anyway.
And the more vehement their talk about 'baggage' the more likely *they* are the ones lugging it around. Obviously they've been burnt by someone who was dating prematurely and happened to be separated. Ditto for the charges that I'm looking for a quick fix. Au contraire, who is the one making the snap judgement? Sex? Losing that was distressful for a couple of months. I got over it. Haven't had it in 2 years and surprise, surprise, I'm still alive. At this point I can wait a while longer until it's right. I have had opportunities and passed them up already.
It seems a pretty poor indicator, when used all alone. As a general rule of thumb it's probably not that bad, as long as you have plenty of options. But for me, I know exactly who I am, and exactly what I'm looking for, so I'm looking deeper than this. So in the end my current status - which changes very soon after a long stretch - actually in a small way helps. | |
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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 7:48:53 AM |
So today I am separated and tomorrow the judge signs a document NO only this, it is fact that most people need 2 years out of a serious relationship to move forward to the next person.... I don't live by this fact, but I have known it to be true, especially men.... and since you don't date men, you don't know, but I do. so, yes, everyone is different and men are more needy and seem to want a place to lay thier heads at night...and fast. | |
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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 8:01:54 AM |
it is fact that most people need 2 years out of a serious relationship to move forward to the next person...
I don't know who came up with the 2 year rule but let's assume that's correct. The question then is when does that clock start ticking? Many relationships end long before a couple even separates and many separations can last years.
men are more needy
Please, you don't really believe that do you? | |
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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 12:05:43 PM |
men are more needy I wish I could say that that comment wasn't true, but 99.9 % if not 100% of the straight men I have met in my lifetime are needy of a womans affection, attention, sexual fulfilments, nurturing and support.
Please show me one man who is not, and I will guarantee he is gay. so yes, only this, I do believe that to be true.... | |
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| Why women wont date seperated men
Posted: 7/27/2009 12:52:20 PM |
99.9 % if not 100% of the straight men I have met in my lifetime are needy of a womans affection, attention, sexual fulfilments, nurturing and support.
Isn't this supposed to work both ways when your in a relationship? I don't think it makes a man "needy", people want these things in a relationship they don't need them. If it was a one way street perhaps but I'm sure that relationship wouldn't last long. There are many many heterosexual single men out there living on their own doing just fine.
As far as dating separated people I think it depends on the person, some people are ready to move on the day they split up, others can require years and/or therapy to get over an ex.
I would think most people that state "no separated people" probably do so because of a bad experience or they feel that separated may indicate that the relationship isn't really over. | |
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