| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 9:32:55 AM | Just a quickie ...... [answer]
anything is possible.
At least you know you get along sexually and that would help in the long run.  | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 10:23:49 AM | I was wondering why so many people were saying "yes" it can turn into a relationship. The reason is you are describing the relationship as a "fling"in the title and as a "sexual relationship" in the origonal post. Sure a fling can turn into the real thing but a sexual relationship is not a fling. Sexual relationships are FWB's and that never turns into a real realtionship. Flings are when 2 people meet for a brief period and end up in bed.
I know it's the reality of some situations but find it kind of sad that a person can be good enough to have sex with, yet not good enough to be in a realtionship with?
This is the common gripe of the lesser attractive of the 2 people in the FWB relationship which is usually the woman. Some people are cabable of having sex just for the pleasure of it. They don't have to be in love of have intentions of eventually having a serious relationship. MOst often FWB relationhsips are started by attractive men recognizing that a woman finds him attractive. She, like everyone, needs sex so he makes her an offer. She has hopes that it will turn into more, but it never will because she is not up to his physical standard even though she is attractive. If she was up to his physical standard he would never have asked her for an FWB relationship, mostly because a woman up to his physical standard would usually turn down such an offer because she knows she can get this guy without doing such a thing. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 10:33:34 AM | | Ok lets be fair about this one then shall we. To be fair, when you get to a certain age, and i am saying this as a 41 year old male, we have all done both havnt we ? Jumped into bed as soon as we can with a partner, and it hasnt worked out.We have all had a slow burning relationship that sex hasnt been the quickest thing to happen. Both work for some and not for others. Its all down to the individuals involved. However this Booty call mullarky ! deeply unfullfilling i should imagine. I am not pious in any way but not sure it would be for me, but takes all sorts. Now have you ever heard someone take so long to explain that they ar sat firmly on the fence !!!! | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 11:01:05 AM |
Jennie72:Sexual relationships are FWB's and that never turns into a real realtionship. And are you the godess of love to be absolutely sure of that ?
Some people are cabable of having sex just for the pleasure of it.
Your god damn right there.... | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 1:34:19 PM | Jennie72....I didn't realize that this was a common gripe. But let's be fair I can't believe that in the cases you described the women are always less attractive. I would like to think that some women are bold enough to want sex without the strings attached and go for it.
But I see where you are coming from. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 7:33:20 PM | ^^^
This is the common gripe of the lesser attractive of the 2 people in the FWB relationship which is usually the woman.
This line says the same thing you are saying. You are just interpreting it wrong. "Usually" means that most often it's the women, sometimes it's the guy. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:19:55 PM | IMO.
You have to build a relationship on a foundation.
Sex can be a starter, but not a good one.
Better to start slow and see how it goes, than to burn the house down. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/13/2007 8:54:15 PM | I mean say you meet this girl and she is great, you get along, you like some of the same stuff, she challenges you in various areas and the sex is HOT as heck. When does it become more or does it ever become more?
Isn't that what can happen if you're meeting someone and you begin dating and seeing where it will go? With the possibilty of a long term relationship ? I don't see what differentiates this scenario and makes it a sexual relationship only.
I don't really understand what the OP meant by a "fling"
I think of a fling as something that happens if you meet and things happen fast and you sleep together and then one of the two , or both , decides it's not going to continue .Or if you meet on a vacation and you know it can only be a short term thing or somethign like that.
I didn't think anyone says :
" what do you say we have a fling ? "
Or is the OP saying that it was established right away as being a FWB kind of thing? | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/14/2007 4:56:45 AM | ^^I guess my idea of what a fling was went hand in hand with a FWB relationship or any kind of relationship that started out sexually. Call me naive but I thought they were the same thing. Two people who met to have sex and there are no expectations.
Where I am coming from in my orginal post is simply wanting to know if two people start out as sexual partners or FWB or whatever other term they have out there. They get along great, communicate well, the sex is bangin....can that translate from just a phyiscal relationship into something deeper or did the sex ruin any chance of that.
Keeping in mind that the two get along on all other levels.
I'm learning a lot from all the responses because truly I had no idea a fling was any different. I mean eventually they both end do they not? | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:04:44 AM |
They get along great, communicate well, the sex is bangin....can that translate from just a phyiscal relationship into something deeper or did the sex ruin any chance of that.
The sex didn't ruin any chance of a realationship. You are looking for excuses rather than the obvious one the I already mentioned. You are not up to his physical standard. Even if he finds you attractive he thinks he can do better. All the great things you have together make you a great friend and since you are willing to have sex with him you are a Friend With Benifits (FWB). It will never change and there's nothing you can do about it. If you want more then you should get out of this relationship because you are wasting your time. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/14/2007 9:17:55 AM | Jennie72....
I am not in a FWB relationship
I know for me personally I could never be with a guy that has no problem bedding me and then nothing else. If I am sane enough to sleep with someone then I am bold enough to say what I want from the relationship and make sure that we are on the same page before taking it to that next level.
I do however have a cousin who is in a sexual relationship and has been questioning whether or not it could become more. Her intentions in the beginning was just to maybe hang out and whatever happens happens but talking with her reveals that she wants more. I dont think he does because it works for him. Both are attractive, educated single people who get along great under regular circumstances.
I dont see why it couldn't but, I asked the question because as I have no experience in this area and as I have learned on POF there are plenty of people who are willing to share advice and give you their opinions and share their past experiences.
I learned that a fling and a FWB relationship defer from each other. Who would have thought I thought it was the same thing. But thanks for your advice anyways it is duley noted. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/19/2007 8:47:51 PM | Put it this way....
If any very attractive , intelligent , warm hearted , good natured , unselfish , honest , loyal women between the ages of 33 and 45 and within an hours drive would like to become "friends with benefits" or have a "fling" and we really click and you always treat me as well as I treat you , I can guarantee it will turn into much more .
I think that no matter how you start things off , if it's a good match , then , It will not be "just sex" and it will last. | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 11/19/2007 10:04:41 PM | | yes nuture the relationship .both of you haveto nuture it and then it will become a freindship first usually if the2 want itto grow it will outside the bedroom also . | |
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| Can a sex fling become the real thing?
Posted: 7/7/2008 1:58:11 PM | Not really my style, so I'm perhaps not the best judge on this one. 
I do think that if one starts with just sex, and void of emotional attachment, it becomes simply a pleasurable act without any other strings attached to bind you. That's culturally a very "male" view, almost perfection to some.
Since it's just sex, many men will write it off as simply that.
From my experience seeing others in such situations, it's not the sex that defines a good relationship. Without the base of the other things, those things that give more depth, one might stay with a woman for great sex - and tolerate instead of appreciate her.
I've seen a few people, typically men, get hooked on the great sex part....and then stick around simply for that, with women they aren't really in love with, nor even really like very much
Then , one day, that "right" woman comes along - and it's bye-bye.
Sex is important, to be sure, but it's not the primary motivator to stay with someone. | |
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