| | Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...Page 4 of 19 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19) | | Selective ethics? There is NO excuse, no matter what the womans intent was, for a man to be having unprotected sex, especially in a sex only relationship that he had NO intention of taking any further. Even if he didnt suspect her of lying or getting pregnant intentionally (before she actually got pregnant), with all the diseases out there he STILL didnt use a condom. Plus, he was warned! Talk about irresponsibility. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 11/15/2007 12:08:33 PM | I'd have to agree with the second post in this thread...
What I think is that you should mind your own business and stay out of it. He obviously does not want "help" from you.
Your friend's scenario sounds like something too frightening to water...I'd leave it alone... | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 11/15/2007 2:00:27 PM | Honestly, I don't see why a guy would who says it's only sex would want to live with the female full time. I can't see it. I can see a 'visitation process', but NOT a living situation in a FWB relationship. Who the heck does that?
I think it's always been more that FWB and he was probably reluctant to tell OP that all along. Perhaps OP never was that terribly fond of the woman so the male told him it was 'sex only' so OP wouldn't pressure him to stay away from her?
Just my guess, I could be way off base...but friends are known to do this kind of thing now and then. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 11/15/2007 2:31:49 PM | | No, I do not believe that a relationship based on mistrust has any chance of working. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/1/2008 7:12:59 PM | i think the old adage says if you can't do the time then dont do the crime don't do it
or if you play your gona pay or what cums around goes around. you maid her in your bed now you can lay in it. she got the gold mine you got the shaft. only fools rush in to where penises don't fear to go. having my baby what a lovely way to say you idiot. | |
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DonQ
| | Joined: 1/10/2008
Msg: 81 | |
| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:07:48 PM | If this guy is (or was) your friend, you should respect his decision to be with this woman even if you agree with it or not.
Yes, it does seem like he may have been hoodwinked into this with the woman in question but its also just as possible she really didn't get pregnant on purpose. But regardless on how she became pregnant it happened. And as the father he has a moral (not to mention a legal) obligation to be in that child's life.
If someday the relationship blows up DO NOT tell him "I told you so" just be there for him.
If you can't do that then you really weren't his friend to begin with.
IMHO | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:34:18 PM | LMFAO... He was DUPED into her getting pregnant? Ummmmm does he not know how girls get pregnant? Does he not have any responsiblity? It's a fact that the pill doesn't always work! So use the pill and a condom... oooh waite.. it doesn't feel good right? Whelp, then welcome to daddyhood!
He moved in with a woman for JUST a sexual relationship? Ummmm he got his sex alrighty!
I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone that didn't want to be in a relationship with me. I wouldn't feel like someone had to be with me... just because I got pregnant... | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/1/2008 10:42:27 PM | | Sure is an American thing to call it 'doing the right thing' when a man, after knocking up a woman who was with only for sex (not particularly nice either, unless she knew and accepted that), then marries her to create a ""happy'""" family. My - I cannot think of a worse recipe for disaster. He doesn't love the woman, the woman lied to him and conned him into being bound to her (and most likely pay for her life), and now this sweet couple are going to provide a loving, stable family for the child....???? May I be permitted to predict years to come of vicious fights, yelling, screaming, mututal recrimination, resentments, infidelity, feelings for him of having lost his life etc. I don't really think marrying a tramp one knocked up but doesn't love is ever going to be the right thing. He doesn't owe her anything, and as for the child - what worse hell can there be for a child than two parents who live together in resentment, absence of love and mutual esteem. | |
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seaga
| | Joined: 1/4/2006
Msg: 84 | |
| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/2/2008 4:06:59 AM | | what i'd really like to know is this..Why were two peopel who were supposedly in a "sex only" relationship having unprotected sex?..that is what i want to know. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/2/2008 5:34:22 AM | I love this topic. I've known so many people who have been in the same situation. Was it an accident? --No chance! Not today.
I don't think there are many women out there who are interested in a sex only relationship so men should just set their "no strings" fantasies aside and deal with reality as it is. If you don't want complications, stay away from women. Hetero relationships are always complicated.
Personally, I'd want to ask someone before making them a father - it's a pretty big responsibility. But, biology is a pretty powerful thing and I've seen that timeclock run people over like a train too many times to say; Oh, that must be a bad and deceitful person.
I've seen the situation work too. Once the baby arrives, biology usually does it's trick on him too.
Stay positive. There are more evil things in this world than babies. --Kelly | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/2/2008 6:44:57 AM | well like someone said....nothing is 100% effective, until your not having sex at all!!! Who will ever know if she got pregnant on purpose.....but I know from personal experience, that the pill doesn't always work!!! Sometimes medications can interfer with the pill......the best thing to do if you really care about your friend is back him in what ever choice he makes, if it is a mistake, you dont have to say i told you so, no one likes to hear that.....but we all have to make our own mistakes, and learn what lessons that we can from them!!
And the abortion thing........I believe in pro-choice!! Its the woman's choice, not the man's its our body!!! not everyone believes in abortion.......but it is the womans choice whether or not she wants to have it.......
my saying don't play if you don't want to pay! We make choices everyday, some are wrong, some are right, we have to stand up and take responsiblity for our actions plain and simple......no matter what the outcome....
just my two cents!!!! | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/4/2008 3:11:58 PM | | Well I think it takes two to tangle. He was willing to take the chance otherwise he would of wore protection. Accidents happen it part of life a lot of babies are concieved while on the pill. Its not 100% proof by far. I had a friend that it made her more fertile instead of protecting against it. I don't understand why your so upset at your friend it was his choice not your to make. A baby is a gift no matter planned or unplanned its always meant to be. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/4/2008 5:45:45 PM | I think ANY TIME a man HAS SEX he needs to realize SHE COULD GET PREGNANT. If she forgot a pill, it just failed, or she lied and stopped taking it to get pregnant. A MAN NEEDS TO BE RESPONSIBLE FOR HIS OWN ACTIONS. Like... WEARING A CONDOM ALL THE TIME. I think it's easy for a man to blame the woman..... | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/4/2008 6:30:20 PM | "Duped into fatherhood" meaning she impregnated herself with your nocturnal ejaculation?
What kind of crazy people think that sex does not equal making babies?
Why would you have sex with someone if you were not sure you would want to have children with them? Do you have no self control whatsoever?
There are lots and lots of fools in this world, sounds like you are one of them.
javascript:smilie(' ')
javascript:smilie('') | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/4/2008 7:53:29 PM | Wow! I'm impressed that so many of you have the self decipline to insist on protection during sex in an evolved relationship.
IMO your friend should do what some of my friends did in the same situation. They insisted on paternity tests. In two of the three cases, the babies were not theirs. In the third case, the guy not only refused to marry the woman, but sued her for custody of the child and she had to pay child support. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/4/2008 8:03:26 PM | | Life happens while you're not looking, or otherwise trying to keep it from happening, as this case clearly states. To asperse that she trapped your friend is ludicrous and asinine. If given the chance, ask your mother how planned you were, and I'm sure you'll find the answer shocking. Love, Titus | |
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custis
| | Joined: 3/16/2005
Msg: 93 | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/4/2008 10:19:15 PM |
But, biology is a pretty powerful thing and I've seen that timeclock run people over like a train too many times to say; Oh, that must be a bad and deceitful person.
 Only women could get away with this pathetic excuse. Too funny! | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/4/2008 11:24:30 PM | Mac,
Sounds to me like your friend was duped, which happens often, and he will probably be dragged kicking and screaming into being a father before he's ready, and perhaps a husband as well.
At some point, odds are, he'll look back, after his divorce from the lying woman, and realize he should have listened to you.
You sound like a good friend. Ignore those who have made YOU the bad guy. You're not. It is their business now though, and it's his problem. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/5/2008 12:54:38 AM | It appears to me that my friend was duped into fatherhood not only by his girlfriend but his family as well. I know this kind of thing goes on every day.
How commonplace is this?
Does anyone think that a relationship based on mistrust has any chance of working?
Without knowing the gf at all, i cant say whether or not she had an agenda to get pregnant or not, but, i can tell you that i have personally known some 'girls' to do that. They fall for a guy,,,and figure by getting pregnant he'll stick around. Crazy as it sounds,,this had happend and does happen.
Women on birth control (and im talking the pill because its what im most familiar with) need to be educated on just how important it is to take that lil pill EVERY---SINGLE----DAY. I had been taking them from the age of 18 until i hit 40 yrs old and never gotten pregnant. Why? Because i was adamant i was not getting pregnant so taking those pills religiously worked for me. I was also smart enough to know that in most cases,,trapping a man that way will not keep him around.
Its pretty sad and i do feel bad for your friend. He now is going to have a link to a woman he doesnt even love. Do i think a relationship could work based on mistrust? Hell no. IF she indeed did dupe him, it wont work. Shame also on the sister for her part in this mess.
Good on you for being a good friend. I hope you continue to be. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/5/2008 5:10:03 AM | Firstly, your friend is a jackass
Never make a woman who your not married to move in with you. Worse only after a few months, thats the first sign of trouble
Secondly, it doesnt matter if she forgot to take the pill or not, if your friend wanted to be safe he should have used a trojan. [img]http://www.plentyoffish.com/smiles/icon_201.gif[/img] No excuses
As for the relationship, it may work but their is a high probability it wont. You cant force someone to grow up. Situations can occur that aid in the process, but no one can mature before their ready. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/5/2008 6:35:56 AM | I dont know about anyone else but i would be standing by with a oversized *Told You So* poster when it all blows up and he gets child support taken off him.
I despise it when i'm right about something and people say *none of your business*...yet i count the days/weeks whatever until a situation goes the ay i see it will and bam!, there to say my piece lol :) | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 3/5/2008 4:52:08 PM | yo man people gotta live there lives u know. U warned him and he didnt take your warning, I mean its his loss.
He would be a jerk though if he stopped being friends with you over some dumb crap like that | |
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