| | Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...Page 6 of 19 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19) | | Doesn't matter what we think. He has a kid on the way. I have no idea how common this is. However, if he is old enough to father a child he is old enough to take responsibility for his actions. She didn't get pregnant by herself. MYOB. You don't sound like you are being helpful. That kid is going to need all the love and support it can get. It's up to the parents to *make* it work. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 12:38:56 AM |
if the man ALWAYS pull out, he does not have to deal with his own offspring
Are you serious?  | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:08:14 AM | | I agree it is none of your business but i can see your point. If this woman forgot to take her pill she is in the wrong for not telling OH and giving him a choice. Medication can interfere with the pill. Alot of things can interfere including stress. These things do happen. A planned baby is always best but unfortunately it doesn't always work that way. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 8:14:17 AM | | He wasn't duped, he was fairly warned what she was likely to do by you. He chose not to listen, he chose not to take his OWN precautions (surprise, surprise, contrary to popular belief, there ARE things a man can do to prevent pregnancy!) he chose to put his fate in the hands of someone he probably didn't know well enough to do so. He's made all the choices, so now he gets to live with them. Did she do it on purpose? Of course she did. Could he have stopped it from happening anyway? Yes, he could have but chose not to. So now he's walking the path he chose for himself. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 8:33:05 AM | Duped? No Stupid? Yes
No 26 year old man should have to be told to wear a condom if he does not want kids. I don't care how immature he is he has to grow up and take responcibility for his stupidity at some point. If not this woman than someone else. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 2:17:29 PM | | A vasectomy is the way to go as any man's "mentor" that is what i would tell him...when it comes to this woman have 110% control...get snipped and they have none. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 4:56:34 PM | Let's see if I get this right...the 26-year-old male just wanted to have sex...the 32-year-old woman just wanted to have a baby by deceiving him...both supposedly ADULTS...he's too damn horny to wear protection or even think about that...and she's so dishonest she stops taking birth control pills to get pregnant...and the sister believes this is just what the guy needed to become a man and start a devoted family.Funny shit...one observation...where are you people from!?!
They brought in another innocent kid into the world with no love and you're telling JM (Love your name by the way!) to mind his own business by giving this idiot sound advice considering he saw him as a friend...and if you honestly believe this kid has a future with a father who can't control his own urges and a mother who has to lie to get what she wants I can understand why the world is so ****** up and why very few people even know how to create a relationship based on affection rather than stupidity.
To JM...you did the right thing BUD...the poor boy didn't listen...a kid will now most likely have to pay for the actions of his ignorant parents and hope there is enough family support...and if you're giving good advice like this keep doing because the only alternative is remaining silent and watching the whole world fall apart even more.If you were OJ they'd have a point...but you gave good advice...peace brother... | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:03:29 PM |
It appears to me that my friend was duped into fatherhood not only by his girlfriend but his family as well. I know this kind of thing goes on every day.
Yes it does. And yes, this is another classic example of these "accidential" pregnancies.
How commonplace is this?
More common than you would like to believe.
Does anyone think that a relationship based on mistrust has any chance of working?
No chance at all. And just watch his resentment for her egocentrical action grow over time. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:08:17 PM |
Did she do it on purpose? Of course she did.
I love how it's always the guy who is responsible for pregnancy even if he's lied to and deceived.
Was he an idiot to trust her? Sure was.
Should any man ever trust a woman when it comes to BC? Nope, never.
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:09:15 PM |
No 26 year old man should have to be told to wear a condom if he does not want kids. I don't care how immature he is he has to grow up and take responcibility for his stupidity at some point. If not this woman than someone else.
Comments like these always perplex me. Especially since I know if the roles were reversed he would be called a shameless liar and she would have been considered an innocent victim! | |
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oiais
| | Joined: 8/1/2008
Msg: 137 | |
| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:11:35 PM | | Well personally, its hard nowdays to find someone without kids, and for me i always take my birthcontrol its like clockwork, so if she dubbed him into this, than i can say from friends experience, he is screwed and its not your fault. It happens, he is branching away cause he thinks he knows best, but when it goes down hill the question is will you be able to help him when he comes crawling back? | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:17:24 PM |
Doesn't matter what we think. He has a kid on the way. I have no idea how common this is. However, if he is old enough to father a child he is old enough to take responsibility for his actions. She didn't get pregnant by herself. MYOB. You don't sound like you are being helpful. That kid is going to need all the love and support it can get. It's up to the parents to *make* it work.
No offense. But this woman has no conscience about wrecking the life of a 26 year old just to pursue her own needs and wants. It is the worst kind of egocentrism known to man and you minimize her behavior!! And yes, that child will not have a father in his/her life due mainly to the deceptive circumstances under which she conceived the child. And just to set the record straight: He is forced to take responsibility for HER action. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:20:13 PM |
Should any man ever trust a woman when it comes to BC? Nope, never.
And he ain't talking about British Columbia either... | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:24:29 PM |
If your buddy didn't want kids, a vasectomy is the only safe way to go short of abstinence. It's still on my 30th b-day wish list should I decide to give up on the marriage & kids scenario...
Man you are one brave DUDE...hope you get a beer with that... | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:31:14 PM | Listen for time in memorial women have been saddled with the responsibility for the birth control because it is their bodies that have the bear the brunt of child birth.. and they are the primary care giver of the child once it is born.. so we have had to be the ones who did the BC thing.
Men.. just hang their tongues out and do their thing... with no thought of consequences..
While the woman was deceptive the guy should take responsiblity and protect himself.
Now he will have at the very least 18 years of child support.. nowdays with DNA testing available the "so long chicky it has been fun but I am not ready for fatherhood" plan is non existant. Most states do not allow "father unknown" on the birth certificate.
So guys before you get your dip stick wet you had better protect yourself and you had better act responsibly when you are getting your jollys.. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:32:36 PM |
And he ain't talking about British Columbia either...
That's right.
If I had been talking about women and British Columbia, I would have asked:
Should a man ever trust a woman when SHE comes to BC?
The pronoun 'it' might have been used if I were referring to a b.itch (of the canine persuasion). And, I would not have answered it in the rhetorical way.
I would have answered it in this way:
Welp, I just dunno. Oi 'aven't really talked to 'er or seen 'er nekkid, yet, 'ave oi?
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:34:22 PM |
Well this topic has been done just recently, but your buddy is screwed. Until the day they actually have the gaul to draft up a "pre-fornication agreement" that is legally binding, you do the deed, you reap the seed.
Tiger, dammit man! You continually crack me up with your well-put wisdom...
Yeah, like you spew the seed, yo' ass gonna be DOIN' the deed, namely changing diapers and wranglin' a colicky kid til the wee hours...
Seriously though, it mightn't be a bad thing these two aren't communicating, and that the sister has become a buffer. While I completely respect the OP's reason to suspect, what really matters now is the welfare of the product-child of the union. If the two of them are committed to making it work, even to the extent of attending some couples and parenting forums, then more friggin' power to them. And, if they commit to "doing the right" thing, well...
OP... I'm understanding your side here, but I'm not gonna back you up completely. I almost get the impression that you have more than a passing attachment to this young man, but for sake of the post and of the child, I'll overlook that, and gently suggest that maybe this IS the thing that will set this kid on the right path. Sure as hell wouldn't be the first time a child had changed somebody's life. If you care that much, you'll let them live without distraction to their more immediate task of being parents rather than occupying yourself with schemes to assert to him that you "told him so..."
Aside from once having been a young man myself, I have more recently seen the arrival of children to a healthy environment to be the catalyst for people reaching their potential as parents, spouses, and members of society in good standing. If we could all see beyond the Jerry Springer Factor, I bet better attitudes about this kind of union would breed more positive outcomes. No pun intended, naturally...
-damoN-(Baby-wrangling emoticon, please?) | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:35:03 PM | I think your friend is an idiot for not wearing condoms in a situation like this. By not controlling where his sperm went he created a child (given her deception). You gave him the information you could so that he'd not fall for this and yet he did.
Let it go. You lost a friend to her deception. Move on. Maybe he needs to be a victim and a father in the same gesture. Maybe it will help him grow up and take responsibility. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:37:23 PM | So guys before you get your dip stick wet you had better protect yourself and you had better act responsibly when you are getting your jollys..
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EDIT: Ooops, wrong quote. I was referring to the attitude so many women have where they say, " Don't have sex if you can't pay the price. If you sleep with a woman, you'd better be prepared to pay support for the kid. Man up. Take responsibility for getting her pregnant."
I agree 100% that guys are stupid if they don't protect themselves EVERY time.
Carry on....
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I'm always amazed by statements like this.
When women have sex, do they just accept that they will get pregnant and damn the torpedo? Do women just roll the dice and accept whatever happens when they have sex? Do women just expect to get pregnant every time they have sex?
Seriously, I can just never quite understand how women are so comfortable with the idea of getting pregnant and are so consistant with deflecting the responsibility onto the guy.
Cheers. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 5:39:53 PM | ~OT~ Both of those parties are at fault. And sadly, the baby will pay the price.  | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 6:19:06 PM | All of you who think this guy was stupid to trust his girlfriend to be adult enough to manage taking birth control pills correctly are a real laugh. I agree, he was stupid. But I had several girlfriends in high school and college who managed to keep the pills straight and none of them got pregnant. Hmmm, maybe it's because they didn't WANT to get pregnant? The guy was duped, and I agree, he is stupid, but for another reason entirely.
That said, neither he nor anyone else should have sex with someone that they don't love and wish to spend a significant part of their life with. This is what the tiresome arrangement called Friends with Benefits can lead to. Ultimately, THIS is why the guy is stupid. | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 6:34:39 PM | Uh, whaddya mean, Briar? His sticker was peckin' out, lol?
I'm with you on this one- I never dated/sca-rooed anyone who didn't aspire to having their own life, either, and so managed their synthetic hormone program to both our advantages. Still, we oughta give them the chance to make it work. I mean, some other girl is posting here, so she must have less to do in the evening than the two about whom she speaks. Lotsa sense in your words, and that's as close to flaming as I dare to get...
-damoN- | |
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 7:10:31 PM | Listen for time in memorial women have been saddled with the responsibility for the birth control because it is their bodies that have the bear the brunt of child birth.. and they are the primary care giver of the child once it is born.. so we have had to be the ones who did the BC thing. Men.. just hang their tongues out and do their thing... with no thought of consequences.. While the woman was deceptive the guy should take responsiblity and protect himself. Now he will have at the very least 18 years of child support.. nowdays with DNA testing available the "so long chicky it has been fun but I am not ready for fatherhood" plan is non existant. Most states do not allow "father unknown" on the birth certificate. So guys before you get your dip stick wet you had better protect yourself and you had better act responsibly when you are getting your jollys.
Oh please...don't make me laugh...when feminists long ago decided to push for laws that gave them the right to abort claiming it was their body without giving a man the right to keep his own kid after a pregnancy they should have further taken steps to go after the countless women that abuse the system by wanting to get pregnant without telling their partner while proving to be totally dishonest in the way they stop taking their birth control pills through pre-planning just to have a child/be supported by the state due to their psychological issues or a desire to make some poor soul pay for their keep with deception even though rules may have been set and while many women are the primary care-givers today many also shouldn't even be mothers...so stop with the violins and generalizing...furthermore even when a man protects himself there's a good chance if the woman gets pregnant she'll try to blame her companion even though it may be someone else's kid through an affair/whatever and that's the only thing I agree with ...with the type of women out there if you're a guy who is going to be sexually active make damn sure you're smart enough to double bag it possibly even wrap it pure concrete if you're going to play and if you feel your woman is lying go the extra mile to get a DNA test.
In this case he'll have 18 years of child support because he wasn't bright enough to listen to his friend and while he was just plain horny/stupid,she's the one that was probably dishonest with intent of getting pregnant with no intentions of being responsible...Germany is actually thinking of changing the laws there where if a woman is found to get pregnant against the wishes of the man and an agreement has been applied the support will be greatly reduced...maybe this way more women will think before going for a ride to get future support and hopefully also men will consider the consequences if they don't use their upper head...if not the only ones who will pay in the end are the kids and grow up to be a new generation of dysfunctional adults.
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| Sorry Hun, I'm Pregnant...
Posted: 8/26/2008 7:34:13 PM | | OP - if a fella is going to have sex with a woman, he's got to be prepared for pregnancy or STD's. Have men not heard of the ol expression "no glove, no love"? A woman can be very vigilant about birth control and it can still fail. If you aren't prepared to have kids, it's simple, don't have sex! | |
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