| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/15/2007 6:42:52 PM | yeah i woudl say it was long distance thing that was the problem i mean if he done everything he did i dont think he played maybe he decided that distance was to much since he only see u once in while trust me that does get old i tried that before not out of state but hours apart yes it dont work i tend to want to see the person to much but yeah he probally didnt play u find you someoen closer adn younger WINK WINK  | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/15/2007 6:46:03 PM | I have never flown to see anybody but him.He really push the issue. Are you saying that if you spend two plane ticket you wouldn'd have want to sleep with her? We were two adult . Needless to say we have been talking for two months before I came the first time. We didn't sleep together until my second trip.
I am not a typical Asian girl that you might think of me. I don't dress like a slut.
Ok...I was laughing at this when I first read this stuff because I thought, boy was she bought and paid for. At her age, she had to know that is all he wanted.
But reallllly, your comment about dressing like a slut, that is realllllly insulting! I can not believe that you can be so racist! Not telling the truth about your age and not insisting on staying in hotel for you the second time, says volumes about you. But don't insult all the lovely Asian women out there! I really don't get the "typical Asian girl" comment at all! Oh wait, "typical Asian" girls tell the truth...I got it.
It really seems you are on here advertising yourself so you can meet another guy! You want some guy to say, oh fly here hunny, I will treat you right. That is what I am getting from you.
As far as men go, 45 is not old! ED problems in a 45 year old, come on. Either you are not telling the truth about that, he is older than you state, or the man has some alcohol problems big time.
I wonder if this whole thing is crap, all made up! If you really flew out to see a man, he got what he wanted. He just isn't that into you and there are tons of guys like that. I just can't believe you with the "typical Asian" comment and a name like Miss January, playmate of the year is how you want men thinking of you. He got what he wanted. Hope you have now too. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:03:32 PM | | He' spent his time and money to bring you over and meet his family to see if you were the right one. with that sort of distance you neee to make or break. You can not take it too slow when you live a time zone apart. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/15/2007 7:05:38 PM | | Okay your guys, I got my answer thank you. Can we say, lets not talk about it anymore? The dating sight that I was on when I met him was not on this sight. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 4:39:50 AM | WHOA sounds like your sick of hearing the truth to me..... NOT surprising.. now you opened up this can of worms on yourself and you want it to just go away... LAWD HAVE MERCY............. not gonna happen.. take your licks MRS JANUARY and be a little more selective about who you hop on a plane with to fall into bed for lol. You ARE after all on a dating sight ON THE INTERNET.. DOH did you think putting this out here would get you some brownie points with some unsuspecting guy because your a plane/bed hopper. Or maybe the stupid card would win.. I just don't know what happened, he was nice when he drank lots............................. was it me ????????????? I'd say he paid a high price for some foreign fun and didn't like the payback. JMO
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:01:41 AM | | selective who I hop? He was the only one ever that I flew to see. For the four months that we communicate and see each other I never went out with anyone else even though I was on a dating sight that I paid for six months. He had contacted me as soon as I join. He was very persistant and a sweet talker about flying me there. He has always said that he will come to see me but never. He wanted to fly me over when he had some time off from his job. Who put on their profile looking for women within 1000 miles from Houston? Someone who doesn't want a girl near by knocking on his door when he is through with her. I am not at all mad about what people say. I ask for you all opinion and I got it. People is going to quickly judge and see what ever they want. They read and intertitate it in their own way. Message 59 and 69 is what I was looking for because I and my friends felt that way too . I just wanted to hear it from someone who doesn't know me. So I got the closer that I needed. What people say is not at all influence of how I feel and know about myself. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:49:18 AM | wow 4 pages! is the question still the same?
4 month investment and you need closer?
Was he playing you? ~
If shopping is playing ~ maybe so
Was you playing him? or were you shopping as well? ~dar | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 6:50:47 AM | He specific telling me he wanted an Asian girl. Why I ask? He said that he like the looks. I told him there is a hugh Asian population in Houston why not date there? He said that they were all high maintain and don't like them. Now, we all know that how can all of them be. okay I admit I was too trusting and believe in him. I always give people benifit of a doublt before I judge them. Been married twice and have a 22 year old single son who work and live with him, who also have a 2 year old daughter. I have a 12 years old daughter who live with me full time. I don't have much time to date a bunch of guys, not that I would even want to. He said that since I didn't have my daughter for the summer to fly out to Houston to see him , and that he will show me the Asian Commnunity. Oh, he was good at always sweet talking me. Calling me his princess sunshine. Even till the end, after I left him messages telling him to be fair to me and tell me what is going on since I didn't hear from him for 2 weeks. When he wrote me a dear John . Starting out with "Good morning Sunshine." and ending it with "take care Sunshine."
anyway, he is still on the sight searching for his next victim a 1000 miles away. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 9:35:56 AM | mrsjanuary, I cannot honestly conclude if he was playing you or not. I believe that you missed some red flags and clues concerning this man's true colors. The phone call and communication irregularities were suspicious because he only accepted phone calls at certain times and e-mailed at his convenience,with large time gaps. I feel that when he arrived late and drunk to pick you up at the airport was a big indication that alcohol was a priority in his life too. The "black out" that caused him to lose his way to his local bar from the airport and stopping at several different substitutions to drink was a big clue that he had a problem controlling his drinking and that his life was unmanageable. When he later forgot where you both had made the first stop, it is evident that he was too drunk to drive in the first place,and that he had "blacked out"
during the drinking cruise that day. The personality and sexual performance "ups and downs" that occured while drinking are classic symptoms of alcohol dependency. This man is physically,psychologically,physiologically,and emotionally, a train wreck. I would say that you were lucky to be unharmed during your visits. Do not allow the casual communications he sends your way now, or in the future,convince you to meet him again. The lingering questions and emotional effects have obviously left you distraught and pondering the actions,motives,and results of being involved with this man. Do yourself a favor and move on!
These opinions and observations are being contributed by an alcoholic that has been sober for 16 years,1 month,and 29 days. I have the credentials and have paid many dues in my life to speak knowledgebly regarding this subject. My Father has been sober 38 years and once made this astute comment about the disease of alcoholism that I have never forgotten; "alcoholics are great con men". The straight forwardness, precision,and truth of this statement is a great lesson to be learned and remembered by all that live with or encounter those affected by alcoholism.
I am not preaching,just educating. Everyone,please interpret this post that way! | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 10:18:51 AM | | Yes, this guy is playing you- he was in it for the chase- the challenge and once he got you in bed it was over for him- Now you need to get over him. Have faith in yourself and connect with the emotional part of yourself that thinks he could make you happy. No one else can make you happy-only you | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 10:52:32 AM | First of all MELLOW congratulations on your sobriety, awesome job, stay with it. Seems to me you are giving some good advice. It really makes me sad to see a woman taken like this, but what is sadder is that they allow it to happen and go as far as to leave their safe zone and go where no one knows you are and possibly may never return, we read about this in the news, hear about it daily on TV and in actual fact some still like to test the odds.. Again MRS JANUARY, don't walk away, RUN. Stop trying to justify what you did to everyone, and accept the fact that you made a very big mistake which could have cost you a lot more then your feelings being hurt and your intergrity being at risk... Be true to yourself because in the end you only have to answer to YOU...... good luck and make better judgement calls next time.
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 12:01:11 PM | ^^^^MrsJanuary^^^^
He flew you out to his state on his dime, 2 times, but he wouldn't let you see him without his shirt??
Sounds weird to me, this man has issues, be glad to be rid of him.
For some people, all they can offer is material things- hence why he was generous.
I don't know if you were "played" or not, you may never know, but DO NOT entertain his flirty emails/text msgs..
He said he doesn't want you, right?
So show him that you don't want him..
He may give chase because of his ego, but now you should be alot wiser when it comes to your dealings with him..
Good luck!!
JJ  | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 12:16:47 PM | Sweetie, is sounds to me like he is emotionally unvailable, not so much a player, but an insecure boy trapped in a man's body. The fact that he could fly you out and keep you at arms length made him feel in control. The fact that he needs alcohol to be social is another clue.
I think that perhaps the two of you got too close emotionally and it scared him.
You don't want anything to do with that can of man, they are bad news! | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 12:32:49 PM |
Yes, this guy is playing you- he was in it for the chase- the challenge and once he got you in bed it was over for him- Now you need to get over him. Have faith in yourself and connect with the emotional part of yourself that thinks he could make you happy. No one else can make you happy-only you
PLayers do not spend money they are cheap. He blew threw abig wad and introduced her to his folks. that is not a how a player behaves;However, alcholism is a much worse issue and more important than if you got played or not. His actions, no matter how sincere, were clouded judgements brought on through alchol. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 1:15:37 PM | you got a lot of great advice here from the others... it is all covered. Because of distance it had to be a whirlwind thing... and it's true they burn out fast. Introductions to the family.. that was way too fast. You later say he drank too much... that hints at unbalance and thus doing the family thing too fast... You may have had a lucky escape. You certainly got just about all he had to offer.
He did an honorable thing in the end by being open and I am positive he meant no harm or disrespect... and that he was genuine when on his wave of passion and romance.
I will now solve the mystery of his not taking his shirt off unless it is dark...
Either he has...
disfiguring scars
3 nipples
A big tattoo of his ex wife/girlfriend's name...
Or... most likely of all... if he drinks too much, has a beer belly and man boobs and is embarassed.
JS | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 1:28:06 PM | | not a man but dont u just hate that???i'd say u got played.......sucks | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 1:40:51 PM | Obviously he wasnt comfortable with his body and if you seen him in the Light you probaly would of barfed anyways, never date a guy that drinks and wants to get intimate you can get that anywhere find another just make sure he's got a nice body if thats what ur into apparently he was embarrassed SO HE SUCKS SCREW HIM !!!!! Just dont show any guy how you feel right away and make them wait for sex... | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 1:43:32 PM | All speculation speculation.. Do not dwell on this a moment longer hunni.. close that door behind you .. fins a pivotal point, turn around and walk towards that new door just ahead, behind it is a new future without this guy, and to be really honest, if he drinks so much and the sex was so bad, he did you a favour. Now go look at your new a bright future.. Find a younger man that will satisfy you and make you as happy as you make him. You are a pretty lady.. enjoy your life and spare not another thought of this guy who has let you down so badly. He quite simply isn't worth your thoughts.
With love Catherine aka star.xx | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 1:44:44 PM | Now see considering the mood I"m in SELF SIMILARITY I had to go and look at your profile because you sounded like a pompous little ass and even worse you look like one in your old picture that is old because you can't be bothered "PRANCING AROUND"  at any rate that leads me to believe you don't like sports because you can't prance around the field right ????????? AT ANY RATE, back to your little epilectic fit on here that makes no sence whatsoever, let me say this, she has every right to hear OUR points of view which is why she started the thread and you for some reason think you should tell her how to get closure..Your profile could use a little help.. concentrate more on reading that and having it make a little sence.. SERIOUSLY
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I am not the slightest bit interested in football or other sports - after all its just a game and i am not into games. Anayway are there not more important things to talk about? God i hope so...
My main interests are in the metaphysical, sacred geometry, anthropology- the history and origins of mankind. I am fascinated by the history of the ancient Sumerians and the work of Zecharia Sitchin and Dan Winter. I enjoy reading too, in fact i am reading this right now lol. Quiet nights at home curled up with someone special watching a DVD or just talking .... good company and good conversation over a glass of wine in front of the fireplace is very appealing. I have 2 fireplaces and ducted heating if needed - you wont get cold.
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Now after reading your interests my question to you is...... WTF are you doing on a free internet dating site AT ANY RATE,,,, you think your going to find some mad scientist GEEK of a girl who's going to read this and think OH WOW MY MISTER WONDERFUL... Yah... and have a nice nite.
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 1:54:10 PM | ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
Oh wow! what is wrong with being interested in spirituality and metaphysics?
I study both.. That was really nasty and very unnecessary.. Goodgreef why do women have to be so nasty !!!!
Catherine aka star. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 2:06:47 PM | | I'm not a man but wanted to give you my 2 cents also because I think a lot of people are being jerks about your question!! First of all, it is wise that you put 38 when you're really 43 because a lot of men do searches up to only age 40 and you look like you're much younger than even that age! Then, like you did, you can just tell them yourself! Also, if you want to weed out the old guys messaging you, then you can go into your profile email settings and mark that you don't want anyone to message you who is older than whatever age is your limit. It only works if you've never had any previous contact with the person. I think that this guy you met did genuinly like you a lot in the beginning and was quite serious about you, so I don't think he was playing you then. Personally, I don't believe long distance relationships can ever work out so you should be weary of those in the future anyway and maybe possibly consider putting another setting in your profile that weeds out anyone further than 75 miles away. Next, finding a long lasting relationship on dating sites is always a lot harder than finding one just on your own out in public and I say that because the dating sites just offer so much variety and so, unless you and the other person agree from the very start that you're both going to delete your profiles as soon as you decide to commit to each other, then you're both going to keep checking your messages and risk finding somebody else that you like better than the last. I think that's what happened to him with you and it sux! So, just keep being human like you are with normal human feelings because it's totally ok. We can't all just "move on" and be done with it if we really cared for the person! You seem like a lovely woman and as I see you posted your question on November 1st, I bet you've already had about 40 more interested in you to choose from. Just keep your head up and I think you'll find one eventually who will truly delete his profile and then just live happily ever after with you. Just beware, you may have to live through a bunch more like this last one until you find the right one though! | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 2:08:10 PM | Did his post make any sence ????
And more then that I find him pompous... JMO
your entitled to yours and I mine.. doesn't make me nasty makes me honest. I have posts previous to that one that WERE NOT NASTY. Sorry "you" were offended it wasn't directed at you
Catherine AKA STAR | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 4:29:02 PM | | Thank you for all of you that really took the time and read what I posted. Further you didn't judge me and look at the evidence and gave me your opinion. I 'll really appreciate that. Some time we make a mistake which makes us wiser. I did check his criminal record and other information before flying there. My girlfriend had all his information. My hotel room, his address and business, and phone number. I know you can never be too careful. Congratulation on the guy who has been sober for so many years. I am glad that I am not involved with him no longer judging from what all of you said about his issue. Believe it or not , I feel really good about not having him in my life knowing now that what a misserable life I would have had with him. Thank you for all of you guys and gals for pointing me the right direction. | |
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| Need a man point of view
Posted: 11/16/2007 5:33:08 PM | MRS January I hope you got the answers you were looking for or needing, I also hope that you do keep this in mind for your future endeavors and wish you the best of luck in them all.... please remember this one.
Ignorance can be fixed, but Stupid lasts forever. Unknown
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