eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 101 | |
| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 10:48:31 AM | Love it when the follow-on posters hijack the thread...
...and make it about them and their pain...
...although they continue to press that it is about the OPie.
.And yet the OPie has never made another appearance or comment...
...about any of the fantastical situations these follow-on posters make.
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 11:19:59 AM | | I think you should ask him and them what is their relationship now. I have many women friends that I had relationships with in the past and had sex with them. I very rarely leave somebody and never talk again I am not that type of person sorry but it’s not because the relationship did not work out that you cannot be friends. Don’t be naïve but don’t just assume that something bad is going on. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 11:23:28 AM | | Dear Ninki.................your theory on insecurity gets blown out of the water when you look at major female power houses on the planet ...................I don't think Mr .Clinton is hanging around with Monica or out to coffee ................I don't think Catherine Zeta -Jones has a contract for screwing around with Michael Douglas before she married for nothing..............I don't think Annette Bening keeps Warren Beatty in check for nothing either ............ come on these are definitely not insecure women they don't have to worry about the next one in line either ... so Ninki ... maybe these women are better educated and more worldly and have seen alot more than either you or I have .. guaranteed ...Queen bee gal has it right ..... and should never waiver from that position.,.............he either wants you and you are worth it or yah move along...and say proudly .....................NEXT.......... | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 11:36:09 AM | OP, as long as he isn't still having sex with them it shouldn't affect you or make you insecure.
i've stayed friends with many guys i've had sex with. i hang out with them and their current gfs...and it's 100% platonic. just because the physical chemistry fizzled, doesn't mean i can't still like them as people.
the same applies to your guy and his situation. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 11:51:02 AM |
OP, as long as he isn't still having sex with them it shouldn't affect you or make you insecure.
I agree with the above quote except for one thing...Why is he discussing his past love life with you? It sounds to me that he has issues and needs to boost his own ego by telling you about what he has done with these women... Its fine to be friends with exes. I would not have any problem with that at all, But I WOULD have a problem with his sharing his past antics, none of this should have anything to do with you if the sexual part of those relationships are not ongoing... He should only discuss the here and now. The friends he has, as you equally could talk about your friends, male and female. But certainly not there love lives.. That's just too odd..
With respect Catherine aka star.xx | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 11:56:37 AM | I am friends with several men with whom I had sex in the past, including one with whom I lived for seven years.
I wouldn't have sex with someone whom I don't like . . . why would I drop him when the sex stops? Of course, other men couldn't deal with a nonsexual relationship and dropped out, but just because a man is 55 doesn't mean he is mature.
The wife of the one I lived with has a problem with him being friends with me because it is threatening to her. Ultimately, it will damage their relationship more than the possibility that he and I might have sex again in the future.
It's called "jealousy." | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 12:01:10 PM | I think the OP has a couple of issues with this whole being friends with a ex, because she's using her experience of once its over its over, and cannot understand why anyone would still be in contact with a ex.
She needs to see that everyone relationship and how they end are different, some people can and have healthier relationship with their ex's, which to me is a good thing.
The thing I would be concerned about is his bragging about his sexual conquests, to me that sounds more immature or trying to be a legend in his own mind
To me If I meet someone who is friends with their ex, it only tells me that she's mature enough to handle what happened, what happened in their relationship is none of my business, nor do i care to know
But if she brags about it, It would raise a red flag and chances are I would be doing the Buh byeeeeeeeeeeeee thing. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 12:09:27 PM | | I am a single man and continue friendships with many of my past lovers. We were friends before becomeing intamate and we parted on good terms. It was a mater of being good friends but could not make it as a couple. I for one get along better with women then men and find that I can have a comfortable heathy friendship if that is what we want. Sex is not a driveing factor for me in a relaionship so maybe that is part of the reason I am still friends with so many past lovers. I am not saying this is for every one but if you are insecure with him and his past then how do you expect to have a future. If he is honest and not trying to hide his past then at least give him credit for being honest. He could have tried to hide it but made a choice to be upfront and honest. I give him cudos for that. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 12:15:24 PM | Dear ... unbelievably naive and ridiculously stupid women on this thread.............if you believe that a guy who has numerous ex-sex partners as friends then I gottah front line no fly zone parachuting trick for you gals over . ah ... . Afghanistan................ Believe that this oat sower is still tilling the soil and obviously getting the furrow in some willing participants...... and he is testing you to see if you plan on being on his crop circled oat acreage...............COME ON WOMEN wake up .. you would actually date some one who has free time and plans on spending it with miss screwed once but just friends now... yah right.,,,,,,,,bull cah cah..........the very first dinner out with miss mistake and you are sitting home his arse would be history and if it ain't gonnah gyrate you .. lucky you will likely become a dear sweet stupid notch on his dictated that one.... belt !!!!!!!!!!!! Any gal that says it is great that he has alot of past f'friends is a very very insecure and naive and immature woman .. ask anyone in a long term life partnership if the significant other has a load of past f'friends that he visits and you will hear both laughter a resounding ..........................NO WAY ... 100 percent of the time .. are these gals in long term love affairs stupid...........nope they don't need to read the book he is not into you they wrote it about a million years ago... most of the young gals on this site need to wake up and stop taking any guys abuse and if you want to be number one in someones life you better expect to be treated that way or you will be someone's fahuck friend all your life .. not my idea of something amazing...
Any guy that needs from past sex friends needs nothing from me ... I would kick his ass to the curb before the waiter said .. and what would you like to order... and easy does not get the life partner ...... they get a fahuck friend...... | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 12:26:44 PM | Dear Gwendolyn ....................ever see that really bewildered look on dr.phils face when someone makes a statement that is "off the wall" that is the same as Ifelt when I read your dandy on here ................come on .. you are friends with a man that you lived with for seven years and his new partner is "jealous" ... nah she is stupid .. she can read between the lines and should throw his arse to the curb or your doorstep.........you don't get respect by sitting around playing the kind of g'damn games you two must be showing her ... she should walk
Women are highly intuitive creatures and she needs to read her intuition and give buster the bootie call on the soul mating...
and you
You talk as though you are very narcissistic on this issue .. it should upset you that she feels jealous not regale in it ............so you have a real problem and if I was her I would send my problem straight to the source.....he knows she is putting up .. but if she wants CHANGE ... She has to send a message ... of respect to herself first... I would kick his ass out so fast I would have to throw the door at him to hit him in the ass.... some peoples kids | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 12:31:06 PM | howbigisyourlove have you any idea how intimidating you come across. Many times I have felt that I have had to leave threads because I pick up on your anger.. I realise that you see this as femine strength. But seriously it really does come off to me that you have been very hurt in the past by men. You see other women as all being stupid because they are less agressive as yourself.. Nobody here is stupid for giving an honest opinion. You do nobody including yoursef any favours in your name calling. Just because you disagree with others opinions. You will not ever change anyone . You can only change yourself.. May I suggest you work on this rather than attacking others.
Catherine aka star. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 12:52:02 PM | Dear aka ... I don't plan on changing who I am it took me awhile to "get here" but I am glad that I am who I am and if y0u have to leave a thread I am actually making an impact, usually people who run away are running from something inside themselves .. I never run.. been in too many dugouts... for that ...
I am glad I get to women .. I want women to get to themselves.... I care about women who make terrible mistakes to themselves and cause themselves alot of unnecessary pain.... because I believe every women should feel empowered so as not to take abuse from anyone.... and in this I am referring alot to men.............if I believed that the world was full of rose colored glass wearers and everyone was eating non trans phat ice cream and would hand out your advice I would be feeding my kind to the wolves and nah no way ... somebody has to step up to the plate and say it like it is without getting the stain off the smarties in my hands...
Stupid was a strong word ..... I apologise I should have used .. ignorant .. that is the correct term for lack of knowledge...
adjectify it to... really really and really ignorant... | |
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wv_dad
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Joined: 11/10/2007
Msg: 116 | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 1:02:27 PM | I remain friends with many of the women I have dated. Just because were not destined to be together forever does not mean we can't be friends. Maybe the way your relationships are ending is the real problem? I am very friendly with my ex wife, and my marriage ended because of an affair. So forgive forget and enjoy life. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 1:14:57 PM | howbig if a person is so insecure in the strength of their relationship that they are jealous of past loves, who are now friends, then that relationship isn't going to stand the test of time anyway.
All of your conclusions is merely your opinions based on YOUR past experiences and what YOU would do.
Judging from your posts on this subject, insecurity in the strength of your SO's love is your issue. It isn't however everyones issue. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 1:19:51 PM | We often think of strength as a quality that arises from a place of firm determination and a will to succeed no matter the cost. Even though we might want to think of a strong woman as being defined in this way, what really makes a woman confident is her capacity for listening to her true self and being able to call upon her feminine wisdom to any situation that may arise. A woman does not need to step into an assertive role or act like a man in order to be effective at what she does—she simply needs to get in touch with her insight and sense of compassion to truly demonstrate the depth of her strength.
Our capacity to tap into our intuition, to take into account the needs of those around us, and to view a situation with compassion and love are ways that women show the world the true power that is part of our feminine nature. When we learn to integrate this source of strength into our daily tasks and decision-making, we will find that we can be more flexible and open to the things that happen around us and more receptive to new ideas. Not only will we see the world in a different light, but we will truly start to realize the potential for this form of energy to both empower ourselves and those around us.
As we cultivate our feminine energy we can redefine the meaning of strength. By embracing our feminine power as something that is strong in its own right, we are able to use it with true assurance and determination and draw upon what truly belongs to us. So you see how bigisyourlove aggression is nothing whatever to do with feminine empowerment.. Using your femininity with compassion and care brings to woman her strength... I do feel that you need help with some deeper issues.. Of course nobody can enforce this. If you feel that you are fine as you are.. but this anger that you hold within is not healthy..and certainly does not make you an empowered being. Anger weakens the soul..
Catherine aka star. | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 1:37:21 PM | howbig?
Calling people "stupid' who you've never met? Then, a flimsy apology diverting a personal attack against them to 'ignorant'? Feeling the need to defend your position to everyone who posts an opinion contrary to your own? Posting 50 times, ad nauseum to ONE thread where everybody quite "gets" where you stand already?
Then claiming you "get it", while knocking down others to prop up the dizziest array of egotistical cr@p one could possibly have to choke down?
These things don't paint you with any credible colors of high-intellect. I don't know what it is you claim to "get", but "taken seriously" is clearly not going to be part of that mix. | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 122 | |
| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 2:02:19 PM | HowBig~ retaliated with
Dear aka ... I don't plan on changing who I am it took me awhile to "get here........" Unfortunately, you're only part of the way 'there'. Yes, it is great to be strong. But to truly be strong, you must be approachable, empowering not enforcing.
Especially in forums you will never get people to adopt your points just due to your overwhelming force of will...in fact, the opposite will happen. People will tune you out and you will find yourself shouting into the darkness until your fingers bleed.
JMHO | |
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eazk
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 123 | |
| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 2:09:46 PM | OK...this may sound really sarcastic........but.....................
IF a man is NOT supposed to be friends with any women he has dated/slept-with....
.....and I'm kinda guessing he's not supposed to be friends with women he hasn't slept with....
.....and I'm also kinda guessing he's not supposed to be friends with her friends....
.....would she kindly be willing to provide a list of who he IS allowed to be friends with...
Because that is, after all, what a couple of poster here are postulating by some of their off the wall posts.
Sheeeseezzzzzziiiiieeeee--Peeeeetttteee....get a grip on the jealousy.
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 2:21:13 PM | I am not sure what the issues are here....
The only reason I have never been able to stay friends with a past lover/relationship type guy is for the following reasons...
---There was too much pain for me to stay in touch and remain friends with them...(sad the relationship ended)
---The guy found it too hard to remain friends with me (sad the relationship ended)
****In both scenarios here, once the saddness passes, I would hope we can then find each other again and become the friends I think we were destined to be in the first place.
Other than that...I am not sure why people can not be friends with someone once the relationship is over and any or all pain is overcome...
Why does everything in life equate to red flags...personally if you are not capable of being friends with people you shared your life with, then maybe that in itself is a red flag.....JMHO....(albeit issues such as abuse, drugs and alcohol)
CC | |
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| He is friends with many of the women he has had sex with. I don't get it.
Posted: 11/17/2007 2:43:38 PM | | Do you think he may be a bit insecure? I once went out with a guy who was constantly telling me about his ex's and how great they were and how he was friends with a lot of them. I dumped him as just wasnt interested enough to deal with all that. Ironically I have stayed friends with him and this goes back 16 years ( Im 38) but he is still the same! He is always with someone but insecure and thinks that by telling his girlfriend how he had great sex with his ex's and stays in touch with all of them that this will impress her or make her jealous and in his small mind he thinks this is good. I think you should ask him if he would like to hear about your ex's and ask him what he would think about you contacting them, I can tell you now that that will be a different story! Talk to him and if he cant see your point of view I would seriously think about your position. Life is too short to spend it with someone insecure who wont acknowledge it. Good luck, Amanda | |
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