| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 4:59:50 PM | | Oh My this is even a harder question.......I would personally have to say sex. Sex to me is Making Love. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:38:11 PM | I've just never heard anyone say they are looking to find the sex of their life; Its always the love of their life. Love is the feeling while sex may be the expression of that feeling. Sex is always best when you forget you are having sex and you are just making love and you stay inside after climax because you don't want to lose the closeness. Even then you keep wondering how you can merge into the person more completely and you just enjoy trying to do that each day for the rest of your life.
Be thankful for the strong drive to copulate; it is what keeps humans around reproducing. When the physical need is satisfied, try again right away and maybe love will manifest. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:45:39 PM | OMG, the way some people in this thread are dealing with the topic, it sounds like they are discussing about bying a car and "debating" whether a sport car or a sedan is a better buy! Yikes!
Love without sex is like a car w/o gasoline!
Love has nothing to do with romance or sex.
Love thy neighbour for example!
Using sex to get love is wrong.
I love my relatives but have not and do not wish to have sex/make love to/with them, for example!
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:47:53 PM | “Also, how do the ladies feel when a guy they don't know contacts them for the first time yet they don't say anything about sex, or how pretty the lady's picture on profile might be?”
How do I gracefully answer this question? It’s not uncommon for a man to say a woman looks cute or pretty with the first contact. Even I get compliments Jammer. What I’m getting at is that a compliment is almost a given, but I don’t know anyone that is offended when comments on our appearance are omitted. Heck, in some ways it can be refreshing. Hearing about sex in the initial contact is more of a turn off. Yes, I hope to someday find the right love for me. And yes, I hope that love includes sex, but to have sex put out there so blatantly reduces me from person to just another woman being contacted for sex. I’ve had more than my fair share of those emails (although I';m sure the pretty girls have must more nightmarish stories). Personally, I feel sex talked about too soon is a clue to run in the other direction. Does this help? | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:52:43 PM | | I USED to want love first, then sex. However, I'm beginning to discover that I'm in a minority of people who do that, and if they do, they did the sex-only thing in the past, which, quite frankly, puts me off these days. But that's a whole other issue. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 5:58:44 PM | I certainly SEEK LOVE, OVER SEX but I find in the area where I live: 'sex rules.' The women seek partners that they believe to be sexy. Intellectual compatibilty, shared interests, companionship etc. rates far below what they have been conditioned to consider be "good sex." Anyway I cannot remember when I last had sex; I only make love.
I guess I am one of those males who is somewhat of "a joke?" I may have to remain a recluse and rely upon my romantic memories. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:02:47 PM | I'm most definately & unequivicably IN IN IN!!!! Any ladies out there in Calgary Alberta Canada Gotta Holla!   | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:04:32 PM |
(Msg 24) I often feel strange when I look around and realize that, indeed, it's true that most men SEEM to be thinking of sex before they really think of true love.
People talk about compatibility (being on the same page, being at the same place in life, etc) but let's take a closer look at that. We've all met people and had friends who we've immediately connected with. We may hear a public speaker and keep nodding our head in agreement and say they feel/believe exactly like we do but we don't love them.
What causes a person to "grow weak at the knees" or "just melt" thinking about their bf or gf? Is it really because they both vote for the same political party? Is it because they play such a great game of golf? It's sex. Plain and simple. It's that attraction, that magnetism, and if that's not there, there is nothing.
People change. We've all changed. No one is the same at 40 as they were at 20. Is it logical or realistic or sensible to expect to form a relationship based on being on the "same page" and expecting it to last when we're going to change "pages" as time passes?
Where is our best friend from high school or college? What roll do they play in our life today?
IMO, a romantic relationship is like a family relationship as opposed to a friendship relationship. Imagine someone asking why you loved your parents? Or rephrased, is your love of your parents based on them being on the "same page" as you?
We've related to our parents as a toddler, as a teenager, as an adult. We loved them through the entire trip although, at times, we probably weren't even on the same book shelf never mind the same page.  There is just "something" that is responsible for that love and when it comes to romantic relationships there is "something" that results in love and that's chemistry, that "I want you!" feeling.
When that chemistry is there and we or our partner change the love we have for them doesn't change anymore than the love for our parents changed. If compatibility in non-essential things is not given a false sense of importance then it won't be important when those things change and they will change. We all change.
That is why sex is important. Not just in the actual physical act but the wanting of it. The desire for it. The drive to obtain it is overwhelming IF the chemistry is there and when that happens it's a good sign you're in love. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:09:18 PM | | The bugisback- It's in some ways refreshing to you when compliments are ommited???(Ol Pisces searches apartment bathroom, searching for those new razor blades he's bought today- Ahhhhh! Nice & Sharp! Now for that incision right below the palm...) Oooooooooooooo....... | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:15:41 PM | I seek love over sex. I HAD it once and LOST it due to my own stupidity. Ever marry a hardhead? I did! He way yes is yes, no is no, and, if but, or and all the rest were LIES in HIS eyes. Bad part about it is he PROVED it to me.
I wanted LOVE - he gave me LOVE and when he needed ME most, I was not there.
Sux to be me:( | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:17:14 PM | Would be great to find the love of your life with the same sex drive as yours.
Is that what this thread is about?
Love, sex, different topices to me. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:24:45 PM |  Who knows or even cares about the difference anymore???
Lust leads to SEX, SEX DOSE NOT LEAD TO LOVE...
LOVE leads to a Dvoted Relationship
of which leads to a much Greater LOVE, of which in time leads to SEX and Kids, Marriage can be a good thing, but most often Marriage leads to Devorce...
So it's best to just stick with LOVE if you can find it...  | |
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Axelk
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Joined: 11/12/2007
Msg: 39 | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:28:59 PM | | OP: I appreciate the spirit of your post. I've never separated sex and love and don't care whether I'm vastly outnumbered or not. I also know that I'm a real man, and a beautiful person. Best wishes to you here, you'll find what you're looking for. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 6:55:09 PM | OP: I appreciate the spirit of your post. I've never separated sex and love and don't care whether I'm vastly outnumbered or not. I also know that I'm a real man, and a beautiful person. Best wishes to you here, you'll find what you're looking for.
What a nice thing to say! Thank you for saying that. That really made my evening to read this. Now, may I ask what "OP" stands for? See, I registered on here many years back but just got back involved on this board again most recently. There is still much I need to learn of these forums.
Oh, let me guess!!! Does OP stand for "Original Poster"?? I really have no idea if Im right or even close.
My best to all the members!  | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 7:05:10 PM | Yes, OP = Original Post (or Poster)
We're the postees, btw.
The one thing a Real Man does know is that if he wants sex it almost always pays to talk more about love and less about sex.
No one knows what he's supposed to talk about if he wants love and/or both love and sex.
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 7:44:26 PM | | For me, if the love isn't established first (which happens over time, not to be confused with lust, which can happen instantly), you can forget the sex. My heart cannot be disconnected from my body. I, too, seek someone with whom I can grow old with, so compatibility in other areas of besides just sex is important to me. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/17/2007 10:07:26 PM | Do you want us to choose between the two?
Personally I would seek love then. If there was no sex though, I would be a major shareholder in Energizer and Duracell. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/18/2007 9:34:04 AM | Pisces619, the question was asked and I answered. It was not intended to confuse or put anyone down. Frankly, I’m attracted to intelligence so the opening line of “you are so cute or so pretty” doesn’t work for me. While compliments are nice, I know what I look like. On those rare occasions when I go out “dancing with the girls” I’m the one sitting on the sidelines - I'm that adorable.
The other thing that makes me shake my head is along the line of "read your profile and we have so much in common". Not always, but usually it's a dead give away that they did NOT read said profile.
Don't get me wrong, I sincerely believe that there are great guys out there. If I didn't I wouldn't even bother responding to those that do take the time to write. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/18/2007 9:38:07 AM | I want long term....id rather wait for sex, than have a 1 nighter with a flybye.....having said that....im not a very patient person...so id prefer to have an upfront honest relationship with a woman, who could decide if we were going anywhere pretty quick?
does that make sense?
Im horney...but im not a dog:)
Get it? | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/18/2007 9:40:57 AM | Just a side question....
How many people thought the title read "How Many Seek Love Oral Sex?"
Now be honest??? c'mon, beeeeee honest | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/18/2007 9:45:38 AM | | They both go hand in hand and that is why relationships should start out slow and communication is a must..geez find out what their sexual preferences are before it gets so involved that someone gets hurt....I want love, companionship, supporter etc etc but still want to make love with my mate with the same passion he has. | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/18/2007 10:06:36 AM | I had a conversation with a guy on POF about this recently - sex isn't as good with someone with whom you have no connection i.e. feelings for, or care for. But that being said, in a relationship you have to match each others appetites or in my experience it doesn't work long term. If you are talking months you can somewhat get around it, but years, no way. What comes first is the connection in my book. What comes later is acting on feelings.  | |
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| How Many Seek Love Over Sex?
Posted: 11/18/2007 12:03:46 PM | | I've realized recently that it's the little everyday signs of affection that I really want---hugs, kisses, doing nice things for each other, just being loving together. Sex is good, but now I know that for me love has to come first. | |
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