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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/19/2007 8:42:34 AM | | not trying to insult the op but as others have stated maybe its YOU who cant come not others who CAN'T make you come. just a thought. | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/19/2007 10:42:42 AM | Awww, just go ahead and dump him! If he can't make you howl like an animal then you need to troll for someone that can! I'M JUST KIDDING!!! There are a lot of great books on the female orgasm.... Invest and keep trying!!
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/21/2007 5:43:55 AM | Does he ever eat you out?
I know one thing if im with a women i want to satisfy her i every way possible.
Maybe your sexual activity's became a ruteen.
ONE THING I KNOW IS THAT YOU HAVE TO LOSSEN UP AND STOP CONTROLING THE MOMENT.
Stop thinking about it and if he touches a spot that you like tell him.
Maybe you need a little more excitement. | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/22/2007 4:10:33 AM | | I say try to masturbate while having sex... it usually helps me cum when i just cant | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/22/2007 4:24:20 PM | Maybe this has been said once already...
But OP, are you using toys? If you do when or when you are not with your man, that can be a BIG problem. Toys may be more reliable then a lover, and can lead to FAST powerful orgasms. While at the same time desensitizing a woman against non-electronic means of pleasure. Basically a toy can make it harder for your man to get you stimulated as easily.
BIG TIME RECOMMENDATION...put the toys away! And learn to do as alot of others have said and you have practiced... RELAX, just get to it!!!
"CowboyEnuff"
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/22/2007 5:49:09 PM | Is this message for real? Your screen name is Pandora and your boyfriend can't open your what?
I'm sorry if it's true. I honestly do feel for you in that case. I always try not to laugh at other people's problems because I think it's cruel and if that isn't enough it'll come back to bite me in the ass sooner or later.
But it just sounds so reminiscent of Frank Zappa's Dinah-Moe Hum. F^ck it even rhymes with:
Kiss my aura...dora...
M-m-m...it's real angora
Would y'all like some more-a?
Right here on the flora?
An' how 'bout you, fauna?
Y'wanna?
I hope I'm not causing myself more karmic kickbacks right here in Tronna!
On a more practical note why don't you just jump his bones and make yourself come?Or do it doggy/anal whatever and do the same thing? In the end (no pun intended) we are all responsible for our own orgasms anyway IMHO. | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/22/2007 7:26:05 PM | | if you love the guy dont leave him! figure out a way to fix the issue! if you would like have him contact me.....i know lol it sounds like im trying to be the problem solver well your right! i would hate to see a relationship be destroyed when it can be fixed. i can help if you think he is willing to try! | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/22/2007 7:45:15 PM | | Have you tried being on top? You have more control that way. Also - start with a good 69 - that will get your motor running! And remember, what you expect is often what you gt. The mental factor does have it's play! Good luck. | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/22/2007 11:40:49 PM | Pandora, you are being way too hard on yourself…I know you will hate this, but it’s more true than not. You are only 28. Yes I said that you are only… Of the women I have talked to about not just orgasm, but multi-orgasm, most said their sex life improved and they became multi-orgasmic (so it is safe to assume that would include having a single orgasm) after 35.
You need the following:
comfortable with your own body
ability to give yourself an orgasm through masturbation
love (of him and him for you)
not care if you do (take the ‘pressure’ out of the situation (hard, but not impossible)
You have great posts here…
Notably baby0653, scorpionmover, SweetSassy
… conclusion your trying too hard…for women it's allot more in the head then the body .. if you forget about it it will happen
This is sooo true! I have had personal experience with this that not only proves to me that this is true (brain = sex) but also dispels the myth of ‘size’. You women live in your head, more than likely you are shutting off in your head and therefore cannot achieve this, probably from trying too hard, let it go…you will be amazed at the results…eventually.
No_1_bby said (so true)
The majority of women can not climax through penetration alone, there needs to be some clitoral stimulation as well.
in addition to echoing what baby0653 said above. And Pamperpooch000 also added
learn to open up sexually. She also mentioned getting over the ‘fears’ and talking to your partner and letting them know what you like as well as being secure enough to tell them what you don’t like. (Communication)
Here you need to really cut yourself allot of slack and let it go. A typical family raised with ‘values’ teaches their daughter for 18 – 20 some odd years, to say ‘No’; “Wait till your married.” “Guys only want you for sex.” Etc, etc, Negative programming ad nauseum.
Dawnfaith makes a good point about enjoying sex even without the climax, I enjoyed sex for years without realizing that by ‘cuming’ I was not always ‘orgasming’ as most guys mistakenly think one is the other. Once you have had the ‘full body’ orgasm, you will finally understand the difference. In fact I did not get clued in until I had a full body orgasm, sans erection, sans ejaculation with a lover (we had broken up, spent months apart and got back together as friends, neither of us was seeing anyone else and the break up ended amiably for both of us). Until that happened, I did not know that it was possible. Fortunately I enjoyed the release with or without orgasm that sex gave me, so it did not matter to me. It was not until ‘after’ my 12+ year marriage ended that I became truly multi-orgasmic which I am to this day. I was limiting myself in my brain, the same way you ladies limit yourself in your heads. We do it to ourselves, so stop blaming anyone else and take responsibility for your own, than let it go, and enjoy your partner, with no expectations, with no cares or worries, just be…it will happen, eventually.
Most women are too hard on themselves, as you have received years of negative programming about sex from your parents, from your friends, from your religious institution and from society as a whole, so it SHOULD NOT BE surprising that there are difficulties in the bedroom on day one, year 1 or even year 7 after that many years of negative programming. In societies zeal to keep you pure, safe, a virgin, disease free, not pregnant (admittedly these are good things to avoid in most instances) until you are married (not the disease one of course) they just go about it in a way that is anti-enjoy-sex ever. If you can enjoy sex after all that, you should pat yourself and be happy that you got that far. Achieving orgasm, while very easy for some, is not real easy for many, so let it go, don’t dwell on it, relax and you will be amazed at what your body is capable of…because it is; you can and you will, eventually. But you MUST relax and STOP worrying about it. (I know it’s hard, but you must to get there, you can do it!)
Medana’s comments were great and others have mentioned masturbation…
did u try masturbation?... for a long time, the only way I could cum.
I would add, that once you can use masturbation to cum, than talk him through it, show him, tell him, and communicate with him. So many times a woman is afraid to say anything for fear of hurting a guy’s fragile male ego (and if you hit it, that can become another problem) it is all about how you say it, the tone you take, don’t be accusatory, just ask him if he would like to see how you make yourself cum, his answer might surprise you.
You can also let him no in a non confrontational way, “yes that feels good, don’t stop” or a little to the left; or a little higher or perhaps, a little slower…talk to him while you are making love.
Make love, rather than have sex…eventually, you will come. Anyone can have sex, but it takes lovers to make love, try it and you will surprise both of you.
Leeanne’s comment is very telling…
… it's about the other 23.5 hours!
Heaven help him and you, if you (or him) cannot let go of all of life’s other pressures and enjoy the time you spend together. So many people sabotage their marriages, but dwelling on everything else that is lacking in their lives, rather than focusing on the positives, and when the negatives are overwhelming, as for many they are, leaving them ‘outside’ the bedroom. If you can’t do that, is there any reason your brain is turned off your partner! I would say while both men and women are guilty of this, you women do live in your heads more than us guys, so it is really up to you to decide to switch your brain on or off. If you switch it off, hell will freeze over before he will ever get you aroused, not fair, but reality. Talk about being your own worst enemy. You can do it, let go of the hurt, the anger, the fear and enjoy your partner and allow them to enjoy you – another poster said that too, what great advice!
Hey bavianns kloof and Leeanne, it's also the 24/7 life that kills the ability to have an 'orgasm'; definitely a double edged sword that one. If he is thinking about 'foreplay' while he is at work, he will probably be looking for a new job. If he works with power tools, he might end up looking for his limbs.
Life is not a romance novel, would be nice, perhaps when we are millionaires, we can spend 24/7 on a woman...it would be fun. Care to donate a million to me and I will give it a go.
Not meant to be a personal attack, I have great respect for you both and have enjoyed many of Leeanne's posts over the many months here on POF, just don't happen to agree with that one. Would love to do it, but not really practical, unless you are in a poly arrangement and have allot of help, so no one loses their jobs. | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/22/2007 11:54:24 PM | | Wow, I feel terrible for you. First off, you must be able to make YOURSELF come. Yes, some women have never had an orgasm. You must relax, feel comfortable with your body, and guide him to where it feels best for you. Never, EVER fake it. | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/23/2007 4:38:26 AM | | I don't know why this is so complicated. I've never had this problem for a woman to cum. You have to really know how to stimulate a woman. What about the men before him? It is possible that you could be in a certain state of mind where it's not happening. I am not sure. What about with the man before him? How connected do you feel to your boyfriend? | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 12/23/2007 5:58:54 AM | | you all should be ashamed of yourself, your talking like an orgasm is all there s of love making and a good relationship. what about the other 23 hours and 50 minutes of the day. your being sealfous. cumming from someone that cant have an orgasm by oral or sex. thanks for making me feel like i'm not a women. get your priorities of life straight | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:00:21 AM |
I have been with my boyfriend for a year. I enjoy sex but he has never made me come. He has tried lots of things but nothing works.
You probably don't want to hear this, but this to me sounds like you've got the attitude that you are entitled to having your boyfriend satisfy you to the point of having an orgasm. YOU are the one who is responsible for YOUR happiness. It's up to YOU to put yourself in a frame of mind that is likely to experience an orgasm. He can't make you climax against your will. Only you can make yourself climax and I'm not talking about you using masturbation. I'm talking about YOU doing what it takes to put you in the right mood and YOU telling him what works for you and what doesn't, but it's still up to your mind to 'create the right environment' that then leads to a climax. Try this approach and then tell us if it works for you or not. You can thank me later for the advice LOL! | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 1/7/2008 9:22:47 AM | It may well be that you are not attracted to him sexually contienous or not .And if the plumbing don't fit .He is sadly wrong man for you regardless of positions or creativity or level of want .Take it from someone that wasted 17 boring years in that respect not worth the frustration or stress. Sooner or later both probably will stray because the romance is not where it should be and you will get bored .I did.But I left the marriage first.It will start causing arguments in every respect of life and usually domestic violence starts.Wondering about reasons and depressed over coulda been is not good.Your choice but I say slowly withdraw and experiment with a happier possibility. And you might want to visit your obgyn depending your age.It could not hurt.Well ,yes the purse maybe.Also last resort maybe you want to evaluate your activities and change or add more than just positions maybe that new twist will create excitement and enthusiasm.Hey , noone knows you more than self but it seems you have evaluated and made that choice that be positive of any final decisions.It is like a bad marriage. Remember the unknown is the worst fear of all. :modhammer: | |
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| He can't make me 'come'
Posted: 5/17/2008 1:13:20 AM | | i hate to say this as it's unpopular, but size does make a difference. if you care for him, try different positions or any of the external methods suggested above. many who think they can't, "can" with the right fit and/ or angle. if it is insufficient, however, i would not base a relationship solely on that--given the various options and alternatives. if the man is pressuring you and not willing to make adjustments or feeling uptight about himself, that pressure either forces women to fake it or become defensive. that is something i would never want to have happen again in my life. it's a pity people cannot be more honest with each other and less blaming. way too much pressure! since you are both just starting out, agree to not be so hard on each other. maybe just do everything "but" for a month, with more on the sensuality and less on the performance. | |
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laxi3
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Joined: 3/31/2007
Msg: 92 | |
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