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iris43
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Joined: 4/20/2007
Msg: 50 | |
| Is this what happens when you give someone a chance??
Posted: 11/20/2007 9:16:08 AM | I think the guy is acting juevenile, I see nothing wrong in the way you handled yourself here or outside of these forums. From reading your postes you come across as a classy, mature welling meaning woman...can't say that about a lot of the woman in these forums. It is difficult to translate reality to these forums, people will always want to disect your true intentions, you handled yourself well, your were honest and upfront with this guy, you may have been a little too much woman for him and his ego was bruised.
Sounds like he is oblivious to what has happened, hence the text on Monday morning.
Good luck to you! | |
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| Is this what happens when you give someone a chance??
Posted: 11/20/2007 3:12:36 PM | | I can see your side of things but I can also see his. They say theres always two sides to a story and usually a third which is the truth. Anyway, I reckon accepting that ring in the first place (which obviously meant something to him) wasn't the best idea you ever had. Then realising it wasn't right, returning it...could definitely have hurt his feelings and so perhaps hes taking some time to think about how he feels about it hence the reason he hasn't contacted you. Why not call him and say you hope his feelings weren't hurt and opening up some dialogue? You maybe able to repair the friendship. | |
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| Is this what happens when you give someone a chance??
Posted: 11/20/2007 4:41:38 PM | OP, I've had many friends who started "dating" and then if it doesn't work out, usually one or the other "disappears". What I mean is just avoids all their other friends just because of embarrassment or whatever.
Given time, they come around and sometimes they can still be friends, sometimes not. If he was embarrassed, then it's compounded by him avoiding you. Making him that much more embarrassed and a tad guilty. He may also wonder if you'd be ticked.
If you approach it with a casual attitude, it happened...and just want to restore the friendship, and don't try to confront him about his (probably embarrassing) behavior, then there's a good chance he'd be open to it. Some people are just better off being friends.  | |
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| Is this what happens when you give someone a chance??
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:08:45 PM | I ended up calling him last night and left a message. He hasn't returned my call!
Tonight might get sticky- Our friends have had plans for a while to meet up for black wednesday and I'm not going to NOT go because of him. Hopefully he'll head downtown with his other buddies and I won't bump into him. If I do - I'll be cordial- of course =)~ | |
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| Is this what happens when you give someone a chance??
Posted: 11/24/2007 7:57:11 AM | Metalvixxin
I had a similar situation when I was very young...he told me he wanted to buy me the prettiest ring he could find. I WAS 14,,,I told him I was telling my dad....my dad said I was going to marry him...I didnt think he was for me...........and well,,,,I married him. We were together for 20 years of my young life, now I am at middle age, he passed away almost 5 yrs ago...and yes, he did buy me the prettiest ring ....it is now my daughters to pass to her daughter. All I am trying to tell you is the one who puts himself out there as he did, and have you react as I did, and you did,,,are deeply affected ...and I have to tell you,,in my case, he NEVER stayed away completely...time would go by with no contact, but I learned later that he ALWAYS knew what was happening with me. He was friends with my brother, and once we were committed, he dropped my brother like a hot potato...I miss that guy...so I get where you are confused by the "let him in" and he bails on you...again, he may not know how to deal with having your attention and the ring thing stings in a big way...it is okay if you catch up to him, I dont think he is a jerk, I think he is TOTALLY INTO YOU
and doesnt know how to deal......keep ME posted...you pulled up some great memories for me..hugs to ya | |
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| Is this what happens when you give someone a chance??
Posted: 11/24/2007 8:47:35 AM | I love that you stooped so low as to give this guy a chance at your lofty ass and he blew you off. I 'm guessing, but you seem like the sort of woman who is usually the one who tosses the guy to the curb rather than the other way round
Betcha if the OP was ugly, no one would be saying that.
And message 46 from SlyKnight sounds very reasonable to me. I'd imagine this guy may be distancing himself from you a bit because he doesn't want to get hurt now that he really has a chance with you - or because he's afraid of screwing it up himself. Either way, communication is key... | |
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| Is this what happens when you give someone a chance??
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:19:09 AM | Well, there could be a lot of reasons why he is not talking to oyu
I read your profile and it does seem to me to come off as you are in control, And if oyu showed that on the date it would sure scare most men off. Plus there is a slight age difference there, and maybe he doesn't feel he can keep up with oyu. And maybe you didn't seem to be the same person on the date as you seemed to him when you were just friends. As other saying he is immature, I don't think so, And you women play the same old game, so don't go saying it is just mean who do this. So my advise tou you is don't date outside of who you normally wouldn't date, it is not fair to the other person. | |
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