| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/20/2008 10:08:10 AM | | i actually look for ladies who have children but then I have young ones myself so i'm not interested in having anymore. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/20/2008 1:30:46 PM | Vinnie41,
I'm sorry to hear your story. I feel for you.
I believe that, when in a relationship, you should be prepared to give as much as you are prepared to receive. Otherwise, it becomes control and abuse. And this is both for men and women.
I do hope you find somebody with her hed screwed on, who will understand that she and "her kids" (if she has them), are not the only ones in this world with rights and needs.
All the best x. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/20/2008 4:36:56 PM | | im a single mom i have a beautiful 2 yr old girl and im only 21. ive met quite a few guys that are ok with kids even love kids and ive met some who are completely turned off by kids. ive had my trials trying to raise her on my own and some guys will say they understand what it means to be a single mom then want you to get a sitter every other night. so it all depends but do try and focus on your baby and not a man. trust me i know everyone says it but they do grow up fast and im sure youd rather want memories or your son to remember than memories of some man. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/20/2008 6:42:40 PM | Ah ha ha ha ha, this is me laughing my way through most the responses b/c unfortunately for me, I'm a single Mom who A - never had a problem finding a man BUT unlike what most respondants have said on this site, I, B - ended up financially supporting 2 of those men that I met. SO, when you say that single mothers are looking for help and someone to carry them financially, PLEASE know how dead wrong that can be. I'm not saying that couldn't be the case, but ALL 100% of single mothers I know are doing it themselves financially, some with very little support from the bio fathers. Not all single mothers are women who've had 10 kids by 10 different men; in fact, most are well educated, career oriented women, that you would be SO LUCKY to date! Most don't need a man, and are very independent, most would LIKE a man to compliment their already wonderful lives.
Yep, time that men start thinking with their brains and not their**** I must agree...any mature, honest and caring man who is worth his salt (and yours) will be perceptive enough to know if you're datable material or not. The ones who think you aren't were NOT worth your time to begin with.
Good luck sweetie, having a child is a blessing...having a man...well...I'll get back to you on that ;-) | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:42:20 PM | Absolutely. Depends on you. Speaking personaly, if I like a woman and she happens to
have children, great! As long as she likes me and doesn't just want a stand-in father.
I happen to enjoy children and whether their mine biologically or not doesn't matter as long as I am given a chance to earn the title of father. I work with other peoples children all the time, but when I am with them they are all my children as long as they are with me. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:55:33 PM | | IM a single father and i agree with a few people who replied to this cause when you have a child you have certian responsibilities and you try your best to keep up to them. i have an 11 year old so i know all to well what it takes. but all in all younger guys would get scared but older guys would prbably not. "its all a learning experience." | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/21/2008 3:57:18 PM | most would LIKE a man to compliment their already wonderful lives.
And that's the dealbreaker. Instead of "complement your already wonderful life", it's better to "build a life together".
in fact, most are well educated, career oriented women
Sorry dear, the Census data disagree with you.
Yep, time that men start thinking with their brains and not their****
When you were supporting those two men... where you thinking with your brain or with your p***y? Anyway, the fact that we take in account the disadvantages of dating a woman with children, never mind how attractive she may be, is a proof that we are using our brains.
The ones who think you aren't were NOT worth your time to begin with.
I find curious how easily a woman can think "he's not worth my time" about a man and, at the same time, get so riled up when a man thinks the same about her. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/21/2008 5:18:39 PM | | Well let me say I have been a single mom about 6 years. I believe there are good men out there that respect women more when they are juggling being single, raising kids, working and just trying to live. So dont lose hope, I have totally been there. I have 3 kids and couldnt be happier, but I know how you feel. We want mom time. Is that too much to ask? Of course there is always guilt and other people's opinions but I feel that if we dont have time for ourselves we start to break and the kids ultimately will see it. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/21/2008 6:54:21 PM | | Rock hunter, I guess I was thinking more with my pocket book...we all have our opinions and I can respect yours. Building a life together and/or complementing my already wonderful life, to me is the same thing. I didn't realize there was Census data on single mothers being golddiggers, I'd love to see that report if you have a link. I would never be furious if a man found I wasn't worth his time; obviously, not the right match and why we continue our search, correct? Not everyone is the same, i realize this, but for the original poster to think she's not worthy dating material and to be generalized upon b/c of what a certain percentage (and I'll be small percentage) of single mom's are like is cruel. We know where you stand on the issue, so get back to a thread that doesn't talk about the single mom's you won't date... | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/21/2008 7:24:31 PM | | Why do single mom's ask these questions anbd get upset when men answer honest;ly that they are not interested and give valid reasons why? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/21/2008 8:14:01 PM | Actually the census doesn't say single moms are golddiggers, nor your original statement mentioned golddigging. What it says is that most single moms live below the poverty line, receiving some type of welfare, and with an education level below the average. So "well educated, career-oriented" they aren't. You can check that at the Census website.
And what keeps bringing me to these threads is the way single moms -just like you- demean and insult those men who commit the unforgivable sin of not being attracted to you. "Thinking with their ****, not their brains"? And you have the gall to complain about men "generalizing"? Indeed.
By the way, "that" is why some of us don't like certain single moms. Children may be wonderful, but their moms certainly aren't. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:09:39 AM | Rock_Hunter
Being a single mom I can only speak for myelf, I agree that there are some single parents that live off of welfare and also just the child support payments they receive and I dont personally agree with that. But I will say that the woman that started this post was asking a question. She asked if men like single moms which to me is a yes or no question not one to take attack on single mothers that you do not know whether they are successful or not. Im sure there are single parents of all types on this site. So please understand that these statements you make may be factual on a % of single moms that were part of this census that you are referring to but keep in mind that these are estimates. Also something to think about is maybe the reason that some of these single parents are seeking help is because the absent parent is not paying child support therefore they do not want their children to go hungry or become homeless because someone isnt taking responsibility. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:02:33 AM | Yes, it's a yes-no question.
Therefore, where's the need to add "time that men start thinking with their brains and not their****"? Which is just the icing in the cake of "men who won't date single mothers are little boys/immature/jerks/scum/whatever".
If single moms attack single guys, why do they complain when they're attacked back? Perhaps they are so used to lecturing their children that they think others will accept it in silence?
If you check the first page, you will see that the first hit wasn't an attack to single moms. It was a veiled attack on single guys: "for most MATURE man..."
I have a solution to stop these attacks on single moms: STOP ATTACKING MEN WHO WON'T DATE YOU. You will see then how everybody keep their opinions to themselves, and we all will have a better life.
About the census estimates, well, you said "most are well educated, career oriented women ". I simply showed you that "most" are anything but that. The reason is not important, the important thing is that your optimistic statement was wrong. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:42:19 AM | When men post about not wanting to date single moms because they have had bad experiences doing so (If you live in Canada a few men such as myself have cited loco parentis laws as a reason we do not...for those of you not from Canada if you marry a person with custody of a child from a past relationship/fling one night stand you will have to pay child support for those children if you get divorced and pay part of their university fees too) a multitude of single moms post next saying they ar not like that or that those men are shallow. Now not all women are gold diggers but when a law encourages it (see all ex step parents have to pay child support as does the other biological parent so double or triple dipping is allowed) as Rock Hunter says it is up to you to prove to a man that you are different. It is not our responsibility to date you...you must prove that you are not the same as some of these other women who take advantage of/abuse the law.
What do we single men owe you anyway? Do you understand that after bad experoences and a law that is slanted in your favour it may cause men not to want to take the chance of getting involved with you? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:09:21 PM | "You single men" do not owe "us single moms" anything. In fact, we have usually had some bad experiences too with bitter controlling a-holes, much like some people posting here. So how does anyone get a chance to prove themself? The fact of the matter is you cannot bring bad experiences with you...unless you're only bringing the lessons. If I thought every man I met was going to be the same as my children's father, or some of the other guys I've dated, I'd never get past hello...because I'd be expecting bad things from them. That's where YOU have a problem John. You expect that people are going to use you (admittedly because of the company you keep-you keep posting on and on about all these user friends you have and users you have dated). If you expect it, you are bringing all kinds of negativity with you, and THAT'S the baggage that doesn't need to be lugged around.
So no, you don't "owe" us anything, and we are definitely not trying to date you...at least not anyone that's ever read 3 or more of your posts...but you might owe it to yourself to stop being so bitter. I thought you said you had a girlfriend.....why aren't you spending more time with her? She MUST be childless and free to spend 6 nights a week with you eh? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 2:44:21 PM | | Ok I am a single mum to a beautiful little boy and my reasoning on the whole dating thing is for us single moms to get out there test the waters again-- at the end of the day a guy will like YOU for who u are not for what you have-and yes its probably gonna be a guy who is slightly older then u but would you really want a guy who is younger when they are not sure what they want--and my advice would be your child id number one dont introduce a guy to ur child unless u feel they are gonna be around for a while its not fair on the child. Also any guy i have met so far think i am an amazing woman because i have a child that i am bringing up alone and still go out there with a smile on my face. maybe i will meet someone maybe i wont but at the end of the day i will always have one little guy who will love me forever..............my son and u cant get better then tht! | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:09:07 PM | i just hope you like single dads.........cause that is just as hard
yes i enjoy talking to single moms.....they know what they want | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 3:44:50 PM | This is the problem that you will find in this search. The children, especially after marriage, will see "your man" as their father. This man married a woman that had two children, when she left, he kept his bio child and apparently the other two went somewhere else. The kids lost two parents. All of you women should use this example when your choosing a partner.
It is possible to date when you are a single parent. Just remember, because you are dating someone doesn't mean that your kids have to. It better that they don't because they need your focus and parental attention not your relationship drama. To the lady who started this thread, make your ex be involved in the child's life and put your jealously or harsh feelings aside. He is the childs father and needs to b involved on a predictable and regular basis!! You don't have to go throughout your entire life as a sole responsible parent. Plus, you'll have every other weekend to do your "dating". | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 6:01:04 PM | Why do single mom's ask these questions anbd get upset when men answer honest;ly that they are not interested and give valid reasons why?
For the same reason childfree people ask these questions and get upset over the answers they get..People who ask thesse questions are not really asking a general question for the most part. It has to do with them and some recent event that occured in thier life that they are trying to work through, but will not admit. It's personal to them and that's why they asked. It's not nice to be mean and say mean things..when you do people tend to get upset. Especially when you continually put down a large group of people within a society. State your personal preference and opinion and move on without being mean or condecending. If we all did that perhaps there wouldn't be so many arguments on here.
PS..Rock_Hunter...if you go double check the 1st page you will see that your reference was posted by a guy about men and he was referring to age..so we didn't make the first hit..if you want to play the 3 year old he started it thing.. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 6:53:38 PM | Very funny... honest. 
Yes, it was a man, probably trying to score some points with the ladies. Anyway, my point was made: if you attack, don't complain if you are attacked back.
So, next time there is a temptation of bashing men because they don't act the way some women would like them to act, some restraint would be advisable. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 7:36:49 PM | Hey rock_hunter
Do you just have a problem with women as a whole because every thing I have read so far is an attack on women. I think everyone gets your point by now. You know what you will probably laugh and so will some of your fans on this thread and I dont know you at all but im gonna pray for you because if you say all these things on here to people you dont even know I hate to know what you say to people you do know. We live in a country where we have rights to express ourselves and all this girl was doing was asking a question. I dont understand why it has to go back and forth so much. I respect your opinion but maybe if everything wasnt so negative that you were saying it would be taken a little more objectively. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:11:56 PM | Not agreeing with everything women do or say is not equal to attacking women, you know. Besides, perhaps you should also pray for all those women who love to talk sh*t about men they don't even know, don't you think?
And yes, she was asking a question. The question was answered, already one thousand times over: Some guys do, some guys don't. What else is there to know?
All the rest, all the bashing back and forth, could have been avoided if only some people would keep their bashing comments -both men and women- to themselves.
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/22/2008 8:18:36 PM | If you meet the right guy it won't matter whether or not you have a child. Someone that truly cares for you will accept your child and make them a part of your relationship. I am 47 years old and have a 2 year old daughter! If my child is an inconvenience or an annoyance to someone then they are obviously not the one for me.
Be patient, make that baby your number one priority. It may take a while but I'm sure a good man will come along one day and love both you and your child. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/23/2008 9:44:57 AM | | I think you done a great job for your kid there are heaps of guys out there who's not ready to take resposibilities in this world. thats why the world gone crazy. but i really liked your topic i think its cool. i dont know about others im sure i ve been lot more attractive towards single mums than single girls. i think single mums are lot more experience and lot more resposible for what they do. | |
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