| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/23/2008 4:58:37 PM | | I am a single mom and i hate the typical reation that im looking for someone to take care of me or my child. What most mature single parents want is more of an emotional contribution, someone to share the tuff stuff with along with joy you have had with your child. Isn't that what most people are looking for in a partnership that commitment of thick and thin. A child biological or not is a joy and alot of people are missing out from a fear that doesn't get dicussed. The what happens if? Well your loss because of fear? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/23/2008 7:13:38 PM | I don't like that implication either..However the truth of it is if you do get serious with someone they do become a parent to your child in one capacity or another. It is more of an emotional need that I, as well as many other single parents, look for a partner. The part that is ineviatble is the partner's life becomming fused with the child(ren) involved, if the relationship progresses to that level. I don't see it as a necessairly bad things, only undesirable to a certain percentage of the population. That percentage should not be accepting dates or asking for dates from single parents. That percentage also should leave us be and not put us down or try to group us all into one little sterotype, just as they themselves do not want to be syphoned into one little sterotype and then be berated for it. You can't judge someone for not wanted to parent another persons offspring, no matter what the reason behind it is. I personally do agree with your thoughts, but I can't berate someone else for not agreeing with me. I am entitled to my opinion, but I am not entitled to put others down for not sharing my opinion.
The most vocal person on this forum is not a parent, single or otherwise, and he is constantly berating people for thier status in life. I saw noone put this person down until after a few unnecessary slams, condecending remarks and outright sterotypical accusations were made and now this person says they are being attacked and is playing the victim. If that makes this person sleep better at night then more power to them. This person has shared their opinion ad nauseum and repeated the same sentences over and over again. Whenever a question is posed this opinion is merely restated and the question of commment is not addressed and they claim that the single parents are bashing. So if this validates them and there feelings then I say "good day" and just move on.
If someone has a fear of raising another children then I'd suggest medical assistance as this is not normal. If someone simply doens't want that kind of responsibility, please move on from my profile. Having a child is a joy and it's a huge responsibility. It is unfair for anyone to berate anyone else for not wanted this responsibility when they did not help create it. These accustaions are made out of insecurity and ignorance. In the same token those who did not help create should not berate single parents for being single and trying to raise a child. That only shows ignorance and insecurity on thier part. You want to state you opinion on why you personally don't date single parents then that is ok, but keep it to your opinion and don't judge those who already are. We didn't get here by ourselves..we had help and that help left us high and dry. If it was easy as you make it sound to stay together, most of us would have. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/24/2008 10:07:03 AM | well for me it does'nt matter it's all about u and u present urself ... everyone has stories it's alll about what u do with ur life there someone out there for everyone and sometimes it's not always the person u chose  | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/24/2008 3:58:35 PM | | As a full-time Dad I actually perfer to date woman with children.I know in my case with juggling work ,and raising my kids it is hard to date period,but it is nice to be able to relate situations,and experiences with someone that can either give advice,or just plain know what you are talking about. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:58:11 PM | It must have been hard for you with the father leaving two weeks before you had your son - I think there is somebody out there for you and your son, the problem I think in todays world is that so many people have children from previous relationships, you will probably be better with someone who has a child too so you can have one another and hopefully both accept each others kids
some guys will take on other peoples children like their own (sometimes if the dad is around that could cause problems)
But I have done it and it is no easy task but if all goes well you would all be like one family. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 4/29/2008 11:58:07 PM | | I think it goes both ways for guys and girls. Most times it's because of 'baby mama' or 'baby daddy' drama, even if they don't exist or are in the picture. However there is always someone out there that will accept you for who you are and will love your son just as much as they love you. Wish you the best of luck with life and everything else. | |
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SL1985
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Joined: 3/29/2008
Msg: 333 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:13:53 PM | I'm a 23 year old single mother of a 3 yr old son and having a hard time finding a decent guy, it seems guys think our children are baggage, so not true, its not like im looking to replace my sons father, im just looking for that kinda connection, like adult conversation and just feeling the love in a mans arms , its so frustrating sometimes im starting to think that i will never have a man in my life other then my son lol
will my luck change or are guys just scared of taking responsibility and having respect and being mature and honest...? lol cmon im not looking to replace my sons father, i just want to be loved and to be held again and be happy and complete!!!
:( | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:26:00 PM | SL1985:
Some men do not want to take on the responsibility of someone else's child. If you get into a long term romance with someone would you not expect the man to take on some fininacial responsibility of your son? Maybe not right away but at some point. At your age many men will look at women without children as a better dating prospect as there are many single women your age without children.
You may find a guy who likes single moms but either you may have to date a guy 5-15 years older than you or else you may be single for a long time. If you do find a guy your willing to have a long term relationship with a single mom ...you just won the lottery!!! | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:18:47 PM | | Most guys get scared but those are who couldn't handle being a father. It doesnt personally bother me I someone is right for me and they love me then I would accept that their children would always have to come first. One thing that is important is that I would want my own children as well so the other would have to be willing to have more children but thats more of a personal thing really. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/5/2008 10:59:45 PM | HappyGuy,
Just because a guy does not want to date a single mom and raise another mans kids, does not mean that he can't handle being a father. He can very well handle being a father.....that is when he decides to start his own family. You are too old to be making such ridicouls statements. You are bashing them and Heck!!!! They didn't even do anything. The guys who got them pregnant and didn't stick around.....they are the ones who can't handle being a father. Why don't you rip on them? Please understand that it is not another guys responsiblity to step in.
You want to have a child by a single mom? Why don't your give yourself the opportunity to create your own family instead of starting out with a blended one. Think about your children, do they want half sisters and brothers all over the place? This does not create stability. I need to tell you this because all the single moms will remain quite about this one and will want you to continue thinking how you think, which is wrong. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:22:12 AM | Although I have to agree and say "Well Said" I'm sorry there are some points I have to bring up:
guys in their 30s or 40s that will date single Moms well that is encouraging lol truly I mean if you have a woman in her early 20's with "Bad Circumstances" or "Bad Decisions" lol need to look in older woman's ponds to fish? I don't know I think there is too much emphasis on OMG she has kids; not all guys are like that; I mean it does take a Man to be in a relationship with a Woman with children, ofcourse granted but c'mon making it sound like it is almost impossible I disagree. I know lots of single Moms that have found lasting relationships with Men (of all ages) I don't think children excludes us from any dating, it is up to two people to decide to go to the next level.
Woman who say they are not looking for a Father for their child and don't need anything from a guy are only saying that because they feel that that is what they have to say to get a Man to look at them out of desperation and I think both society and run ins with jerks has made them come to those conclusions.
So girls:
We are obviously on this site to meet someone to either maybe just go on a date or maybe further so just relax I am sure it will come just take your time and use your judgement this time around, and don't act so available. The guys on here are obvioulsy looking too
and guys:
Seriously you wouldn't be on this forum if you were not a little interested? or thought of the idea of dating an OMG she has children
I hope everyone finds what they are looking for in love and life, and I think that every child deserves a chance to have both a Male figure and a Female Figure in their lives as long as they are people realizing that they are being looked up to from very innocent eyes | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/6/2008 8:33:24 AM | Yes I think so too, the ***holes that couldn't handle the idea of family are for sure the wrongdoers in all of this.
I think for sure everyone who wants children does not have to take other people's children on in lieu of starting their own family but for those who do congrats maybe they just havent found that perfect person to do it with and don't want to wait any longer.
But what is stability really I mean the idea of a single mom alone with kids or the idea of two parents bringing their kids together I seen nothing wrong with the Brady Bunch
and as I see it two heads work better than one
So this single Mom is not staying "quiet" but I think their is a little more to it than
"create your own family instead of starting out with a blended one. Think about your children, do they want half sisters and brothers all over the place?"
So what are you saying exactly? that people with kids have had their go at relationships and now its over and somebody else's turn that is pretty bias
hmmm or maybe wait til the kids are 18 and outta the house before you go for dinner with someone? lol that is very closeminded, but then again that is only one person's opinion. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/6/2008 9:15:06 AM | "So what are you saying exactly? that people with kids have had their go at relationships and now its over and somebody else's turn that is pretty bias"
Why should someone else "have a turn" at raising someone else's child? Really I want my own children not someone else's. I am looking for someone to give me my child.
Some men feel that way...sorry to you single moms but it is how it is. Just because you have a child does not mean you are entitled to a date or a relationship.
Somne guys like single moms...why not try to find one of those?
You had your children okay fine, but it does not mean someone has to step in to help you raise those kids. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/6/2008 7:08:02 PM | | Since your feelings about single moms are very obvious johne feel free to spend your time on the 30 something boards and free your mind of us single moms. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/7/2008 11:35:55 AM | | Well I am a single mom myself and I do tend too see that most men treat me so different once they know I have children . I am up front and honest about my children I adore them and would not change being their mom. But I do feel it is sometimes a disadvantage of meeting people because in todays society being a single mom means to most you looking for someone to support you and your children that isnt the case for most of us I am perfectly happy taking care of my own family . So the men whom cant accept that my children are an essential part of my world then there will always be someone out there that might realize I am more then just a mommy that I do want to give my heart and love to someone whom comes into our lives and willing to see that just cuz I am single mom doesnt mean I cant be all for them as well | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/7/2008 2:33:34 PM | | Maybe you need to prove you are diffeent from the othe single moms out there? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/7/2008 4:28:04 PM | | Maybe you need to prove you can post on other threads.....doesn't anything else interest you? Sports? Religion? POF has it all.....try to diversify, john. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/7/2008 5:37:30 PM | | Well, I have to say as a single parent myself... with three children it tends t be harder to find someone to understand your situation. Just because I am a single mom doesn't mean my kids don't have a dad. My kids spend time with their dad on the weekend. When I am talking to someone I basically tell them, I am NOT looking for a step dad or someone to discipline my kids. That part is already taken care of. I am looking for someone for me. My kids are part of that package and if they can't handle that... then fine.... there are others out there that will. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/7/2008 7:34:17 PM | Bekk: What role would a man play in your family if he married you? Would he pay the bills and not interact with your children? What role would he have with your children?
Some guys may like single mothers but they are getting fewer and fewer in numbers (at least in Canada.) So what role would a new man play in the lives of your children? Would he have to enforce house rules? What if your children dis-respected the new man? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/18/2008 12:50:45 PM | | hey my sons dad dont even care about him so i stopped him seeing him so im looking for some1 to look after us both but dont feel to be getting anywhere i met this 17 year old he loves lewis n me which is a gd thing but lewis aint used to a man kissing n cuddling me so he screams at him each time he touches me which scared him off and we kinda split.. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:04:51 PM | | I've found that the type of women who have a problem with kids are the type I wouldn't want to date in the first place. Having a kid is a great filter for meeting a real woman (or man in the single moms' cases). | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/18/2008 3:47:40 PM | i have been a single mom for the past 6 years (son is 10 now). It has never been a deterrant.
If you dont work and expect a man to take care of you and pay for everything...yep that is a deterrant, no one likes a deadbeat mom or dad...having said that if you have your stuff together, work and take care of your child - men will be all over that. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 5/19/2008 5:13:47 PM | Motherhood is a beautiful concept and those who really want that idenity are beautiful women.
It is not easy being a single parent trying to fill both roles. But when others look at the strength, kindness, patience, that it takes to deal with both roles they see the true beauty that you have inside of you.
You are a beautiful person who has a beauty that will continue to grow ...and true men love beautiful women. | |
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