| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:01:57 AM | I just have this gut feeling that no one will ever want me again because i have a child...
if anything its a lot harder to find someone because you havent just yourself to think about anymore,some blokes just dont want a ready made family,
and if you find it hard finding a decent guy without children, then try and find someone who already has kid (s)
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:52:47 AM | | Pedophiles love single moms, infact they date them exclusively. Be careful with your fishing. All things being equal I dont know of another reason a guy would choose a single mother over the same girl without children. That said there are plenty of guys that are open to dating single mothers despite the fact they have kids. They know they will always have to be lower in priority for their partner than her child. (If they are not then there is something wrong with the mother) Some guys dont mind making this sacrifice for the right woman. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/21/2007 8:28:43 AM | Clue: If you are not prepared in every respect, you should not be having a child. We've got enough screwed up people these days(mostly as a result of crappy upbringings) as it is.
As for dating one, they'd have to be absolutely amazing, and damn near perfect(for me, not as in looks). I'm not gonna settle for less than the right one. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:26:14 AM | Being a single mom is a dating world handicap but not a really big one
You just need to be patient enough to find someone who understands that on the nights you don't have a sitter you can't go out.
One that understands that no matter how much you love him he will ALWAYS be second in your heart and life
Good on you for not looking for a daddy-replacement. Thats another handicap we single moms have...the women who are looking for new daddies for their kids ruin it for the ones who are just looking for partners for mommy.
That being said...when you do find a fella, and you get involved you (and he) have to realise that he's not just dating you...he is also dating your kid by extention
A package deal, now and forever
I've dated men who just couldn't handle it and I've dated men who were SUPER understanding...
One guy recentally asked me "Do you mind if I come over for a no-sitter required movie date some time?"...which I thought was awesome cause he was ready to work around my life instead of me having to work mine around him...
We watched Serenity...lol | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:52:09 AM | Serenity, the feeling you are getting is normal. Some of my best friends are single moms, and i have heard every single mom i know say that at one point or another. Personally i have found that confidence is one of the biggest issues to success in most relationships, epically in finding relationships. Just think about it for a bit. When you become comfortable with it it doesnt matter any more. Having a kid can be a plus or a minus to someone coming into a relationship to you. I see it as a plus because kids are awsome. Most the people i know see it as a plus, but there are a few that dont see it that way as well.
Everyone has their insecurities and their faults. I have no idea what yours are but i am sure that you have more faults than having a kid, and having a kid isnt really a fault, but a blessing. For every fault you have though there must be at least ten other reasons why someone SHOULD go out with you. Of that i guarantee, i have never found it to be false with anyone. I have no idea who you are but i can be realitvely sure that you're a good person. Just have confidence in yourself, and i think you'll find that people will be extremely receptive to you despite the circumstances. To the people who are unreceptive, who cares. If they have an issue with you being a mom or anything that goes along with it, than they are not mature enough to handle a relationship with you anyways. Believe in yourself and others will believe in you as well. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/22/2007 3:29:26 AM |
Short answer is some men will date single mothers, most won't. The ones that will are likely to be in the 30-40 age range.
I just wantto say that i am a 27 yr old single mum of a 2 and a 3 yr old. I am dating a 22 yr old who has no problem with me having kids, is desperate to meet them (I havent let him yet) and is completely understanding of the constraints they put on me.
Its nothing to do with age, it is simply the maturity and understanding of the individual man.
As to whether men will date a single mum - Ive had no problem | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:50:50 AM | | Many of us are mature enough to decide not to get romantically involved with single mothers as we do not want to raise someone else's children and do not like the legal liability. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:21:44 AM | | I do not mind single Moms at all. Just because they are a MOm does not change who they are. We all have a past, but it is the future we look towards. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/22/2007 10:35:20 AM |
Many of us are mature enough to decide not to get romantically involved with single mothers as we do not want to raise someone else's children and do not like the legal liability.
Im guessing your from one of the states that count common law wifes/husbands as having resposibility for the children even if they are not theirs. Here in the UK things are differnt only the biological father has any resposivbility unless you legally adopt the children.
In response to your comment I would say that many men are mature enough to realise that if they love someone it makes no differnce what their situation is and whether thay have kids.
From the experience of myself and a lot of other women I know, most men have no problem with single mothers and ARE willing to take on that responsibility.
JohnE102 Please do not presume to speak for your entire gender, men have a bad enough reputation already | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/22/2007 11:26:42 AM | | I do not speak for the enitre gender I speak for me. Many others feel the same way. Single mom's ask why no one will date them. When we explain why we get bashed. So why ask the question if you do not want the answer? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/22/2007 2:46:52 PM |
Honestly, I think some of your mentality stems from both your age and where you are in life... unattached in every possible way. I know a lot of men who have no problems with single mothers...
Denial is not a river in Egypt.
I often share UHS's views, and I'm years older than he is. Trying to change sociobiology by shifting around the future to make things appear good doesn't transform anyone's original nature. This goes for the fact many men have problems with dating single mothers, and raising someone else's offspring. I'm one that won't. No arguing in the world will ever stop that.
I do not speak for the enitre gender I speak for me. Many others feel the same way. Single mom's ask why no one will date them. When we explain why we get bashed. So why ask the question if you do not want the answer?
Exactly.
Some of us are outspoken about it (which I encourage, like this statement). There's other men that don't talk about it because it riles up moms here, and it's a waste of time demonstrating the reasons why men won't commit to single moms. | |
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mntazz
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Joined: 11/16/2007
Msg: 37 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/22/2007 3:09:32 PM | | look at it this way. alot of guys do, i am one that likes kids. You just need to find a mature man not a 18 to 25 year old kid. alot of younger men do not want another mans kids around. usually that means another man in the pic. Oh and the problem betweeen the two guys. You will find a good man rememder this. your kid is #1 and the guy needs to know that. If he treats your kid like shit from the start, and pays no attention to him dump him. It is a package deal and any man let in must respect both people. On the other hand the kid needs to respect the man too or problems will arrise. I find it rewarding to have kids in the pic. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/23/2007 12:10:18 PM | yes some guys do like single moms, never had a problem getting dates in the past, for some reason i attract men who dont have children, which may cause a problem- as they dont know understand that you cant drop everything to be with them. dividing your time can be a little tricky. not to mention introducing your child to that person, when the time is right.
but if you can find someone who *gets* that, you're good to go=) think its a better match to find a guy who has kids as well. im currently seeing someone who does not have kids, i have a 6 y/o son. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/23/2007 6:46:39 PM | Really the whole single mother thing doesn't bother me, if I like the woman I don't mind if she's a single mother or has no ties. In the end of the day if a guy loses interest in you because you have a child he must have a pesimistic outlook on relationships as he's judging the whole situation before he even knows what your child is like and thus isn't worth your time.
From what I've noticed alot of men who are looking for a relationship and not just one night stands don't see this as a mind changing factor at all. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/24/2007 9:21:05 AM | i wanted to date and maybe marry a single mother one day. the problem is her wanting the same as me... i am also a single parent and getting her to take my kids as i would hers.
i see single dads having alot harder time dating because is us being single parents. most single moms want men to have kids,but not at home. just on the weekends every other week.
lets be real here.. women look at single dads just like sinlge men look at ladys with kids.
i sit back and read these forums about how women want men to do this and that. we with kids at home have a very hard time with the dating thing cause of our children.
i will not change that my kids live with me to have a partner. i would hope the partner would want to change with us and grow with us as a family. my kids and hers.
please think about this. we have a hard time just like you do in the dating dept.
sign... someone in hickory,nc who has given up on dating
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/24/2007 10:39:49 AM | | I can't speak for every man: But I have no problems with children, some men are afraid to get close to a child for fear of hurting them..I've raised three girls 21, 19 ,18 I'm mother and father to them so another woman would only enhance my life try me | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 1:58:54 AM | Hi,Beau;
I know it's a hard time for u right now,but don't worry about finding someone who would luv u & your child. If u are upfront about your situation,i am sure Mr.Right will come along. (be patient).
Good luck! Vulcan  | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 5:23:54 PM | | not looking for someone right now just wanted some insight on the subject......i am not going to look period as long as i feel this way.....the only thing i am worried about is my son....he is the best and i dont really care if i ever find anyone just wanted to know what others thought. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 5:30:57 PM | | on the whole money situation .....I can take care of me and my son.....even if i was to get into a relationship i would never expect a man to pay for my child and i damn sure would never expect a man who is NOT his father to pay for him....i guess i am just not that coldhearted....i dont ever want my or any other man to think that i need anything from them except their affection and love. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 5:35:47 PM | | im not saying that i wouldn't want it in the long run...i mean im not going out to bar to find a father for my son...i would never expect a man just to "date" me and be a father to him.....it's gonna be a long time before any guy i date even gets to meet him.....i would never put my kid through watching me try to find someone for me.....i wouldn't be opposed to a man playing a parental role, financial role and emotional role to my child .....after a long relationship of getting to know us .......i am just saying i dont need that right now and that is NOT what im looking for....and i know men and that's the first thing they think is "she's probably trying to find a father for him" .....never i didn't have a father and i never asked for it to turn out this way ...it's not my fault his father wants nothing to do with him.....and just because of that i would never expect a man to "become" his father. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 6:01:24 PM | | okay to go along with everything.....his father signed over rights so when guys say "Where's his daddy?" what do i say??? i dont wanna go into long conversations how he signed over rights and all that....and i dont wanna say "he doesn't have one" because that always raises more questions...so how do i reply to a question that i have no idea how to answer...? | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 7:37:27 PM | | I am a single mom of two. when someone ask you were the father is all you need to tell them is you are not together. Most people wil stop asking from there. Good luck to you. I am recently divorced myself and it is not an easy thing to do by raising your children on your own but I manage. Dont worry about dating right now. To much going on. It things are meant to be you will find the right one. I will not settle just for anyone in my life or for my children this time. Good luck. All will work out in the end. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 7:43:48 PM | | thanks....i know it will all work out in the end and i am not looking just have this feeling in my gut and i can't seem to shake it....not saying i want someone right now just want to be happy in the long run with someone that is compatible and loves me and my son. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 11/25/2007 7:44:46 PM | Clue: If you are not prepared in every respect, you should not be having a child. We've got enough screwed up people these days(mostly as a result of crappy upbringings) as it is.
whoever said i wasn't prepared....??? | |
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