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| | Do guys like single moms? Page 20 of 43 (3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40, 41, 42, 43) | erik138
-Sh*t - Could not disagree with you anymore
In short, you summarize all my past sh*tty experiences. I was planning to go live with a single mom and re-contemplate on my options and I said "F*ck that" - ain't worth my money and time and I am sure I save myself from a bunch of problems. Not all single moms are "damaged goods" - some of them are genuinely nice and some are hot but I do not have the motherf*cking time to sift through the pile to sort out the needle out of the haystack. I rather date a pool of single women and move my way around.
-Also cohabiting with a single mother long enough might (I said - might - depending on the state or province you live) get your sorry ass into loco parentis
-Aside legal and financial issues, there is the inevitable emotional issue - aka post baby daddy drama -- all should not exist in a healthy relationship. I am moving on - have had enough of this unnecessary drama.
-I would not take a single mom no matter how hot she is. This is my personal experience.
-I made few mistakes in my life and this one is not to be repeated
-I do not MIND TO HAVE single moms as friends but once they want to look for long term or cohabit, I run like CRAZY in the other direction | |
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jrebva
| | Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 477 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/23/2008 7:55:23 PM | | I love single moms myself. Being a full time single dad they know where I am coming from. | |
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pcwiz
| | Joined: 10/4/2007
Msg: 478 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/23/2008 10:58:16 PM | well here is the other side of that coin! do wemon like single fathers of kids like my self i have three kids that i raise on my own. and the moment they know i have kids and am a single father the chance to go out with with anyone was slim. then goes all the way down to you have kids now we are down to no chance. what is so wrong with being a full time father of three and yes being single!
i can feel for you but look at me im a full time father of three and the moment ladies find out i have three kids in the back ground they are so gone you can see the smoke in the air!
so what is the big deal if a gal has kids or the father has kids what is the bigg deal so what if we have kids there still can be a relationship there. is everyone so worried about kids! in one word yes! | |
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jrebva
| | Joined: 5/23/2008
Msg: 479 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:19:18 AM | | That is a big No there good buddy! No mater what they say......or maybe it is just me!! | |
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GEOSCH
| | Joined: 8/9/2008
Msg: 480 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:35:17 PM | | I did not read the replys. It all depends on the guy . You are young and will find someone who will love you and your son. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:38:11 PM | | The guys who don't want to date single moms are not the guys you want to date anyways. There are guys who like great woman regardless if they have children or not. After all some of us guys have kids too. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/24/2008 7:43:53 PM | | Personally, being a single father, I would love a single mother, than we both know where each other is coming from when we have to arrange thing's in our live because we have kid's, and we both understan that we can no longer just drop everything and go away for the weekend all the time anymore. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 8/30/2008 9:38:19 AM | One of my first g/f had kids back when we we teenager. I didn't mind the fact that she did. I have always enjoyed kids. And now that I am a single dad raising two kids I have more respect for single moms. It is very tough to work, raise kids, care for the house with a partner. It is even harder without one.
My hat is off to all single parents out there. WE ROCK !! I think like most single dads and that includes the ones that don't have them full time. (may not have them full time but still think and love them full time) If the woman we are interested in has kids even part time. It makes things easier, because they understand when we say "I have to do " _______" with my kid that night" and vice versa, we will understand more as well.
Not saying that there aren't some men/women out there without kids that are not as understanding. Cuz I was one before I had my kids.
Just take the time to get to know the person before getting serious. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:05:27 AM | OK, just to be devil's advocate here....
The majority of posters on this topic are all saying the same thing - everyone should look at dating a single parent just like dating anyone else, and anyone that has issues dating a single parent is an immature dope and a dirty rotten **stard.
Well, that's easy to say from the perspective of a single parent. I find that a lot of women don't want to date me because I'm not terribly tall, and of course I think that's very shallow of them. But all you girls, be honest now, you KNOW there's just something about the guy being shorter than you that makes you see him as "less of a man", and automatically puts him in the "friend" category. So if you judge men by something they have absolutely no control over, is it really so surprising and awful that men judge you by something you did have control over (ie. having a kid)? What's good for the goose.....
I'm not saying I WOULDN'T date a single mom, but there are definite issues that need to be considered that separate a single mom from a girl without kids. They include:
1. Judgment. I have 2 female friends with kids, and they have both been married 3 times. To me that shows a serious lack of judgment and/or an inability to know how to "do marriage". A single girl who is 22 and has 4 kids says the same thing. Why did she have so many kids in a relationship that clearly wasn't stable? And if the kids all have different dads, that shows really terrible judgment. How did this girl come to be a sinlge parent, and is this a person I want to get involved with?
2. Does she want to have any more kids? There is a biological imperative for men to want to reproduce. We may love your kids to pieces, but we still want OUR kids. It's asking a lot of a guy to take on the parent role of another man's children, and then deny him the chance to be a real father himself. I hear a lot of single women say "I'm DONE having kids!" I always wonder if they know how much that attitude is a turn off for guys. The only guys it won't turn off are A) single dads who have already gotten to be dads themselves and therefore are totally open to combining families Brady Bunch style, and B) guys who never want the responsibility of parenthood (in which case, do you really want to date him? If you're not totally open to having more kids, you really have no business judging a man harshly if he doesn't want to date you.
3. What about the kids' real father? What is he like? If the relationship gets serious, how much of a pain in the ass is it going to be to deal with him? Am I going to get conned into the job of the heavy who has to call and remind him to pay his child support ("Because you KNOW he won't listen to me!")? Am I going to have to clean up the emotional mess when the kids come back from their weekend with him all traumatized because he's a jerk? Marrying a girl with kids usually means automatically inheriting the equivalent of an evil brother-in-law.
4. Speaking of the other guy, does she have any feelings left for him? I know that I can't say I have absolutely NO feelings AT ALL for any of my past serious girlfriends. Is it possible for a girl to have NO feelings for the father of her children? What does that mean for me?
5. Time! Will she have time for me? Seriously, between her job, spending time with her kids, and doing all the little chores of daily life, just how much time will she have for me? Are all of our "dates" going to be bringing the kids to the water park and to G rated movies? Will we be able to have enough completely one-on-one time to be able to build a rapport, a connection? How many times am I going to get stuck trying to pawn my play tickets on Craigslist at the last minute because she couldn't get a baby sitter? If the guy happens to love spontaneity, he's going to be pretty much SOL, because a single mom doesn't have the luxury of being able to fly to Martha's Vineyard for the weekend on a whim.
6. Sex. Can this happen? Will this happen? Depending on how old her kids are, she won't want me overnight at her house. She doesn't want her kids to see strange men in her bedroom and hear them making "noise" (which I agree with). At the same time, she can't stay overnight at my place, because she has to get home to the kids. This is very likely going to impact on our developing real intimacy.
These are just the few obvious ones that pop into my head at the moment, and you have to admit, even if you are a single parent, that these are valid concerns for any potential partner. They aren't shallow, they aren't selfish, and they aren't silly or immature. They are serious life issues, and you need to be prepared to deal with them.
And again, I'm not saying I automatically rule out dating single moms. But I will say I look at them and their situation more carefully, simply because the situation warrants it. It's only being realistic. Ladies - would you date a former drug addict or AA member with no reservations at all? Would you date an ex-convict, an unemployed man, a guy with 4 pet tarantulas, or a guy who lives in his parents' basement without thinking twice? Most likely not. Any of these guys might be totally great, but there are ISSUES that need to be considered. Face it, your kids, however much you love them, and however great they are, and however well you are handling single parenthood, ARE issues.
OK, I apologize for this being so long, but since I'm one of the few posing the other side of the argument, I think it's OK. As long as I haven't written as much as all the other posters combined, I haven't written too much!
Don't hate me ladies!  | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/16/2008 12:40:54 AM |
I would like to say its great to see a single mother that doesn't want a guy to take care of them or their kids, a few on this site do.
I agree with wanderbaby on the fact that having a new baby is hard enough all attention and focus should be on your beautiful child. Babies bond early and quickly whether you want to believe it or not that man will be in the life of your child.
Me personally I don't want a man to take care of me or my son but if this is a man that will someday love me and a possible man I may marry I would hope they share a love for my son otherwise they're not the right man for me.
As for you question about guys want a single mom... Every man is as every woman are different. You will find the self centered ones who feel children are baggage and then others who find that a child is a gift. You just have to pick through the bad ones.
Goodluck to you!
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/16/2008 1:51:44 AM | HI DEAR ,
I hope ur well and have good time too.
It is nice to meet u and if u wish to know me well this is my yahoo (flybirde555@yahoo.com )
Best wishes for u and ur kids too | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/16/2008 7:14:29 AM | | Some do some dont. I like a man to like me for ME, not my parental status. Some men dont want to get invloved, that is their preference and their right. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/16/2008 10:27:48 AM | Look girls, you want to try being a SINGLE DAD of two lol
Guys who dont want a woman with kids, should look for someone who hasnt go them ! Simple as !
Guys who like kids, will have no issues.
But knowing Guys, some can be complete A***S. So my advise girl, dont blame yourself. Believe in yourself, and dont let anyone put you down.
There isnt anything wrong with single parents, Male or Femal lol, but single Dads do have a rough time !
XXX
Guvna.
xxxx | |
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hard23
| | Joined: 1/23/2007
Msg: 489 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/17/2008 11:15:40 AM | | yes there are lots men out there that still l;ike single moms my self inc. it just harder to find a man out there that is willing to actpet fact that u have a child and he cant have u all uto him self | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/18/2008 5:05:26 AM | Fun artist...
Don't worry...The majority of us won't hate you..
But I do have a few things to add to your thoughts..
1. So a single women with no kids who has 3 ex husbands is better.....I know people like this...I do however agree with your point and I'm assuming that you are saying these issues are more obvious when it comes to a single parent. We can't exactly hide all of our dating past..it's kinda right out in front for you to see.. so this is better or worse then finding out later?? Also agree about the bunch of kids with different dads things.. not excuse there..run...
2. It is true that many single parents say they do not want anymore kids.. I was one of em.. Mostly however we are just scared.. it's really hard to raise a child on your own. I'm talking emotionally.. Forget finanically and all that other stuff for a moment. I know that sometimes you end up crying at night for no other reason then you are so mentally drained and there is no end in sight.. that's enough to scare anyone. If you were dating someone who wants kids and could show you that he isn't going to run..the opinion can change.. I agreee is it asking alot for a guy to take on your kids, that why a single parent should never push someone to date them, it's alot..but single parents are just scared and unsure about the relationship as you are..keep that in mind..
3. What about the kids father? Ask her.. mine's non-existent.. except for every few years when he decides he wants to claim my son on his taxes, even though he has to right too. If your dating a mature single parent, which I sure hope so for your sake, she will tell you the truth. Just give her a date or two, it's a big part of her and she needs to at least feel comfortable with you.. Somethings you can't help, if you aren't comfortable with dealing with thekids, then you shouldn't date a single parent. It doesn't make you a bad person, or a jerk or anything else.
4. She may...but obviously they aren't strong enough to keep her from dating someone else. I will always love my sons father, never do I even want to see him again though. It's an odd feeling to say the least. My only other comment is I know so many childless people who are stuck on men on thier past that they can't be happy with those in thier present.. This problem just makes us women, it has nothing to do with parental status.
5. From past expirence, and not just my own. If she really likes you there will be alone time and plenty of it, just not as quickly as if your partner was childfree. She's more likely to take it a bit slower. You are completely right about 1 thing though. Spontatenouity is out. We just can't run out the door and head to Fiji for the weekend. Not happening. If you choose to date a single parent, you choose to give up spontaneous dating. The closest you'll get is, "hey Johnny got invitecd to a sleep over tonight..what are you up too??"
6. Sex can happen.. and obviously does as evidenced by the parent with multiple dads you made reference too. You shouldn't look at it this way.. Look at it more like a challenge.. Lets see what and where we can do it this week.. You'd be amazed what you can come up with and how much fun you have trying out things other then the bed room. lol..
I have 2 suggestions for you.. if a women judge you on your hieght then you don't need them anyway.. and if you want a single mom to consider dating you the don't refer to our kids as issues. We hate that.. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/18/2008 5:26:37 AM | it's naive to say that you don't want a man to take care of you or your child. Because inevitablably thats what will happen if the relationship works. yes what we mean is that we don't want t sit hom and have the guy support us, but that's not how it's interperted. If the relationship works he is going to have to take little Johnny to a game or two, or put a bandaide on an imagined boo boo or try to help calm the irrational temper fit the child occasionally throws and if he sticks around for the teenage years he is going ot have to deal with all that. So yes.. if you date a single parent you are going to end up helping with the child even if that's not your origional want. Early in the relationship there should be no contact between child and new person. that's just good parenting. But as the relationship grows and you start to see a future you have to introduce the two. they have to get to know each other and get along. it's inevatible.
it's like me.. I don't need a man to take care of me. I don't need a man to take care of my son. i can do it and have been doing it just fine. But i'm not going to sit here and say I don't want a guy to come in and take care of us. Because that is what will happen. i eventually want to meet someone, get married, live together and that means he will ahve to help take care of my son and I. that's just what happens. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/18/2008 3:52:21 PM | | I don't know about the rest but I do. There is nothing more beautiful than a loving mother. I don't know what the big scare is sure kids are alot of work but they can be fun to. I think a real loving mother is such wonderful thing it shows how passionate and warm she is. Such things are a few of why women are so wonderful and important in there own right. Just keep your head up no one worth there own breath should blame alittle child it couldn't help its situation. Anyone that would really care about you would love your child as there own. | |
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Calray
| | Joined: 12/25/2006
Msg: 493 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/19/2008 11:27:24 PM | I just love how people make this a morality thing. When did it become such an awful thing to decide that it should be a period of dating that progresses to an engagement that leads to a marriage that is enriched by the couple's children.
People who believe that I'm awful person because I've decided that I can admire single mothers while choosing not to date them are self righteous twits.
And only ignorance would say that my decision would be the result of not liking kids.
Then again another guy I know doesn't mind at all if she's a single mother if she's hot enough. He'll take her to his bed as long as she lets him or until he's bored with her. But then again I suppose he's a saint | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:46:26 AM | After reading through a vast majority of responses on here, I feel that I must comment.
Any MAN who does not like to date a single mother is shallow; they are not interested in the woman as a whole. The child is a part of the mothers being. Now, shallow is not a derogatory statement; rather their priorities are different that the rest of us...
As for me, I would rather date a single mother than a single woman. A single mother shows responsibility, dedication and passion for their children. Additionally, they "understand" the commitment that accompanies being a sole parent.
And believe me, from all the different women I've seem post on this particular topic, I would be honored to spend time with any one of you! | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/20/2008 1:16:44 PM | | Hi there just read your message and just to let you know that was really mean for what happened to you. But to just let you know that there are guys out there that dont have a problem with women that already have children. I have dated women that have children but it just didnt work out not because that she had children but what we were looking for wasnt the same. | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/20/2008 2:30:52 PM | | WoW....I find it really funny that men refer to the baby years as such a chore when in reality they are the easiest years of their lives...all they do is sleep, eat, and poo...there may be sleepless nights...but do they go away??? and has anyone heard of a well-behaved toddler?? and if there are any around then i feel sorry for them...they have a very stifled life....sorry strangelo...but im fed up with men saying yeah i dont mind kids...as long as theyre.....ra ra ra....and for all the girls out there that think theyll never meet a man now because you have a child.....the child makes absolutely no difference...its all about your inner confidence....if a man is attracted to you...he wont care either way...............and if he does care or puts restrictions on you ar your child....they are so not worth your time and kick him to the kirb!!!............i have a 12yr old and a 2yr old an i still havent found the one.......and id rather be single than with someone who doesnt respect me or my kids.... | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/20/2008 3:07:52 PM | | Felt I needed to add my bit to this post.... I am 41 and have two wonderful boys, ages 13 and 9 and have to say in my experience I have found that men dont want to get involved when my kids are so young. It appears that a 41 year old should have children who are grown up and totally independent! My boys have been through alot over the last few years, but would like to just say that, like the previous message, I would rather be single and lonely than with someone who doesnt respect my kids or doesnt like the time I spend with them. Whatever the situation the kids are the innocent ones who didnt ask to be brought into this world, but were made from love (at the time)!. They deserve respect and love and nurturing.... if someone isnt prepared to see that then they are not worth being with. I would love to think that the knight in shining armour would come along and whisk myself and my kids off the to the castle and live happily ever after........ will it ever happen? time will tell, and if not then I am happy and content knowing that my kids are safe, secure, well adjusted, and most importantly .... Happy and loved. | |
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Shefs
| | Joined: 2/10/2008
Msg: 499 | |
| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/20/2008 8:28:05 PM | I find this site really hard to find someone who wants to be involved (or give a chance)with someone who is divorced and has a kid. I sometimes get frustrated because single parents are not given the oprotunity. I have a daughter who already has a father so I am not on here looking to replace him in anyway. I am on here for me!
I would have to agree I would rather be a PROUD single mom who is lonely then have someone in my life who pretends to like kids just to get me in the sack!
At this point I am about to give up....I have been on here for a while and have been disappointed many times....I beginning to believe that fishing just isnt for me:(
The most important thing to me is knowing that my daughter loves me unconditionally! | |
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| Do guys like single moms?
Posted: 9/20/2008 10:03:09 PM | | I cant speak for most guys, but personally I would rather date a woman that had children, this way I know they would be accepting of the fact that I have a child. | |
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