| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:31:10 AM | You are overreacting.
It was a first date. You also say you are "sort of seeing" someone. Doesnt he have the right to maybe be doing the same?
I assume he has dated as well...Maybe his last date left it. Last week, Last month, last year. Maybe it fell out of a purse last night, last week, last year and he just found it...
Maybe it belonged to a sister, daughter, mother....
I'd be curious,but its really none of your business. Enjoy the dates. | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 11:58:11 AM | OMGawd....I am still trying to figure out WHY you had to write that entire novel when you simply could have said, "Had a date with dude who had two kinds of smokes and an eye or lip liner in his car...what do you think?" 
Look...WHO either things belonged to, really is a MOOT point since you all had went on a single date which signifies no sort of relationship or committment! Since he did offer that the cigs were a friends...let's hope he was being truthful and not just telling you what he thought you needed or wanted to hear...
But yes...since you are also kinda seeing someone else...who really cares and how is this important?! | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:22:47 PM | I am with Kat on this one.......nice novel but the question is why even worry about it?
I have had women in my cars, on my Harley, over to my house and yes, in my bedroom and there were things around from past relationships still there......and you point is?
If we are exclusive and in a relationship, then all those things get put away or trashed as needed, but until then, many things were gifts, or essentials left there to make it easier when over at my place, or in my car or on the back of my bike.
None of this is to flaunt anything or to let you know that others are in the picture, but more of an over sight that someone else may have been at one time, and they have not been removed yet. This is just a first date, not a commitment to exclusivity, or a player in any fashion.
Just my opinion......   | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:30:51 PM | | i know it is hard to second guess everything i know where u are comming from. i know one thing is never let your guard down. he seemed like a gentlemen through out the date. through out this sociaty i think between men they r famous on tellin a woman what they want to here as well we play our role. it is human nature for all of us. all's i can say is go with the flow. doe's he have kids? a daughter possibly? | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:31:28 PM | I just want to address a few things here;
I AM NOT biittching about seeing the lipstick. I posted this more or less to see what people would think of the situation. NOT to judge my reaction. I'm not bent out of shape about it, and I do realize the many possible scenarios that could explain it;
A sister, aunt, niece, mom, female friend, etc...who left it in the truck..
Could be from a 'date' he had a few weeks ago (the night we met at the club, he was in a suit and tie...he had just come from a political event associated with his union)....
Could be his 'current' girlfriend's lipliner? Someone said the truck is his wife's, that I doubt consider all the 'guy' stuff in the truck....hunting equipment, work equipment, a bunch of stuff he actually showed me (he showed me his bow and arrow that he uses for hunting, so I did get to see the back area of the truck and it was jam packed with guy stuff)
Could be he's been seeing someone and digs me, and may possibly be ending it with her.
I said I'm not stupid. I realize the many possible scenarios. I think most importantly, I was seeking to find out if others on the thread see it as a 'red flag'...as in THE GUY IS NOT AVAILABLE.
Some may say there is a double standard going on here, but they're missing MY POINT when I said I'm merely seeing someone. I AM 100% available to be with someone and to have a relationship. What I don't want is someone who IS NOT. When I say 100% I mean I AM NOT COMMITTED TO ANYONE. And I, myself would like for the person(s) I date to not be committed to anyone!!
Is that so hard to comprehend?
No married guys, no guys who've got a g/f of 2 years, no ENGAGED GUYS.....if he's dating that is HIS BUSINESS and I can accept that....No bullshiit.
Until two people decide on exclusiveness then....all's far in love...and dating.
I think what I expected to see in the thread was either a) people saying "He's got a g/f...blah, blah, blah....OR b) Ignore it, it could mean anything.....
NOT = 'Oh, you're doing a double standard" or "Isn't that the kettle calling the pot black"...I asked for thoughts, opinions and advice on THE LIPSTICK IN THE TRUCK...
NOT for all to judge ME or 'my reaction' which is nothing other than I'm wondering who it could belong to???
Sheesh...
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 12:41:54 PM | Well first off Im not going to get all narky over the "sort of seeing a guy" others have already had a pop at you for that.
Its so obvious that if he is not actually married he is in a relationship. First up there is the lack of immediate availability, thats always bad sign if not a red flag in itself but you get the second clue with the lipstick and ignore it your asking for hassle.
Sorry but he is playing away. I agree with what one of the girls above said about ignoring signs just because the guy is rich or hot. If you have signs you ignore and get hurt you have none to blame but yourself. If its for shallow reasons you deserve it as well!
And dump your " sorta" guy. You both desrve better. | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 1:06:01 PM |
Any thoughts, opinions...advice would be appreciated. And yes, even if it's what I don't want to hear. (just refrain from calling me an idiot, cause I can do that on my own ;)
So are we to take it that you didn't actually mean the word "any" here? Because that's what you got, and now you are complaining about people's responses.
My take: If your concern is to avoid men who aren't available, then by all means keep your eyes open for consistent signs of such thing. But what you've described so far doesn't seem like anything that should send you running away at this point.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 1:16:30 PM | Op, just a thought for in the future...
Some times the less said the better! If you wouldn't have written the line about seeing another man, you would be getting a different reaction... They would be tearing up something on your profile!!!!
Some day people will learn not to cover them selves in blood before jumping in the water to swim with sharks !!!
~Belly~
P.s. it wasn't my lip liner... | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 1:20:42 PM |
Let me get something straight....
I am SEEING someone casually. It's is NOT serious in any sense of the word.
The person and I have NOT slept together, and don't spend a whole lot of time alone together, much less together period UMMM..aren't the TWO of you (guy #1 & you) going on a CRUISE together in a couple of weeks? May be perfectly innocent and "as friends-only" BUT betting any NEW guy you might date & kiss would be prone to think YOU might be either "unavailable", or a player if he knew you were cruising off into the sunset with Guy #1? Juss sayin.
As far as going on a FIRST date with someone, and seeing another woman's personal item (s) in HIS vehicle...THAT would be NO ONE'S beeswax UNTIL you are "officially "dating".
IF you have a FEW MORE dates, and it's going well, ASK him...if he is dating others? and is he OK with you doing the same? Period. Easy. Gets it all out on the table.
We ALL like upfront honesty in our lives... | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/20/2007 1:34:12 PM | To answer your lastest rant...finding a lipstick or a different pack of smokes...or a pair of ladies panties!! is NOT a red flag! It means dude has a life other than you...and he is shopping around for the time being. (at most...or it means he has friends, daughter, etc)
You know...people come here and SAY they want any and all advice...then they get pissed with what is written! Hypocrites! | |
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Rhett1
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Joined: 10/16/2005
Msg: 42 | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:57:25 AM | OP,
well just sitting here think about your first question and the fact that if you or anyone else searched through my truck[ actualy its a ford excursion with more damm cupholders and hide away pockets than a 747 and gets about the same millage  ] they would find many incriminating things that taken out of contex would get me locked up for several years in either holmsburg or a sanaterium somewhere . IE 4 hoodies 2 of which have logos of a all girls high school and a very small one from a grade school [ two hs daughters and one grade school son]and a pair of work boots with suspious looking stains on them [dna testing anyone ? red wood stain from the deck] several eyeliner pencils[ with shavings damm it take them to the trash will you see realy do have two hs daughters ] lipstick in various shades [ see above 2 hs daughters . a new med size blue tarp [for when we go for the christmas tree ] a 50 ft lenght of 3/8 rope [ I dont use the string they give you at the tree farms since its a long ride ] three road flare [ since I used three at the last accident sceen we came on to on rt 413 last saturday]and empty fire bottle [ also used on saturday ] a camping hatchet and folding shovel [ in one of the many compartments in the back just in case ] several teenage or preteen novels[ from road trips ]
Well that all that I can think of off the top of my head thats in my truck but maybe Ill try again later and tell you why my wife found nail polish in my desk at work [ in 4 differtent colors and how balistic she went [ god bless her she had a hell of a temper] and what I had to go through to convince her otherwise . btb I am a Automotive electrican and that stuff comes in handy at work
Jack | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:47:14 AM | This was only one date and your first date. Why do you expect him to be seeing only you? Even if you had been out with him multiple times and had not agreed to be exclusive he would still have the right to see anyone he chooses as would you.
For all you know the lipstick could belong to a mother,sister , aunt ,cousin , sister in law or yes maybe woman he has been dating. The point is that it's really none of your business anyway.This is in no way a red flag. If you two had been dating for a couple months and all of the sudden found a lipstick in his truck then yeah i would say it could be red flag.
WHAT WOULD YOU THINK IN THIS SITUATION?
Not a thing . I wouldn't even ask.
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wasted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 12:54:44 PM | Just proceed with caution.
In my experience lipstick or lip gloss does not mean there is another women. Even a different pack of smokes. I know someone who sometimes switches from Marlboro lights to reds. No big deal.
Just keep your eyes open.
As far as you seeing both men. Hey. This new guy was JUST a date and nothing more. It's YOUR option and YOUR choices.
Going forward, if you do notice too many red flags then move on and don't waste the pretty on him or anyone else who is too suspicious. | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wasted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:09:40 PM | OK..you go on a date...have a great time...think this guy is realy into you as you put it.
You get into his truck...spot the lipliner....but still go ahead and have a major liplock
with him and THEN your concerned...?!!
Something wrong with this picture dont you think....
If you'd had any reservations about him being a player....perhaps you should have brought it up BEFORE you started smoochin'...
Afterward would seem kind of redundit...right?!! | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:23:23 PM |
This may be a no brainer to many of you. I'm going to try and keep it brief
GAWD!!!...keeping it brief would have been..
"went on a date with a guy..got in his vehicle and saw a womans lipliner there...what should I think??"
to which I would have replied....WHY DIDNT YOU ASK HIMABOUT IT!!!
Could have been his sisters, his moms, his daughters best friends room mates dog walker.......or left from a date he had with someone...
and since you are already"kinda" seeing someone else anyway........why would you care if he was too? | |
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