| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wasted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:41:03 PM | Sheesh, people!
OK you had one date with the guy and saw a lipstick or whatever. So? I will suggest that you file that information away, and if you continue to see this man, keep in mind that though there MAY very well be a rational explanation, that it belonged to someone either family or platonic associated, lipstick is still not routine "guy stuff". Given the number of personal male acquaintances I've seen of late dye their hair, it may well be that males using cosmetics will also become a standard procedure.
Given the higher mobility of the dating populace, what with the internet and the ease of jumping on the Xway and hitting the bars in a town 40 miles away, meeting/dating someone who has a spouse or SO is simply an inherent risk. If that's unacceptable, people,get the fork OFF the internet and only date people who live in YOUR neighborhood and that you've known all your life. Or don't date at all. As for the OP also having dated or spent time with another man, so freakin what? As long as she hasn't promised exclusivity, why is it wrong for her to be getting to know a couple of different men?
Or is it a "whaa, she has 2 men interested and I have no men interested,it's not fair so I'm gonna raise hell about it"?
OP, again, I would certainly NOT call it a red flag but it is kind of noteworthy.
Cindy O | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:10:24 PM | I only read the first page of postings so I apologize if the obvious has already been posted a million times. BUT, COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY!!!! If your into this guy and the KISS was really a killer kiss and IF the date went really great, the only way you will ever be able to find out the TRUTH is by confronting him with the issue. Let's look at the issues/facts 1. he has a sister/sister in-law. 2. he may have had a date the night before and that date left it in the car. 3. HE may be the owner of the lip liner/lipstick and too embarassed to admit it during a first meeting, 4. the "buddy" may be the owner.
and mainly THIS WAS YOUR FIRST DATE!!!!! If this guy had a "killer kiss" maybe he knows what he likes to kiss and has some to offer his dates in case they get dried lips or whatever.
PLEASE IF THIS GUY WAS SUCH A HOT F'IN ITEM TALK TO HIM GET THE ANSWERS THEN DECIDE IF YOU WANT TO JUMP IN THE SACK WITH HIM OR NOT. | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:32:47 PM | What I would have done was picked it up, looked at it and asked "This yours?" just to see his reaction. Understand, if you actually do something like this,you must keep a straight face and deadpan expression,as if it was a perfectly rational topic of conversation. No letting YOUR expression tip him off as to whether there is a WRONG answer.
Of course I don't let myself get all wound up about a guy until he shows himself to be WORTH getting wound up about. I pretty much always keep in the back of my mind the possibility that the guy might be a cheater, a gameplayer, or just plain lying about his life. I don't mean to imply that I EXPECT that, far from it!just that I keep the possibility in mind. Sort of an optimistic cynicism I guess...
Cindy O | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/21/2007 8:38:53 PM | AHHHHHHHH!
Plain and simple. In the Queen's English.
Ask him about it.
I cannot for the life of me understand when people just do not come out and ask the questions that need asking. No wonder there is a huge multi-million dollar industry based on improving communication between men and women.
Without making a big deal over it, you could have just casually asked if the lipliner belonged to somebody close to him.
Done and Done. No wondering or guessing who it belongs to. Geez | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 10:10:23 AM | To TheReason;
Ok, there is one answer that sounds LOGICAL. Thank you.
To HarleyKat~;
If I didn't write an as much as I did, y'all be complaining "you didn't say that" or saying "Well, you left that part out". Other than that unnecessary comment you made about MY NOVEL..your advice IS what I was looking for when I said "any" advice, 'whether I like it or not'. If you don't like long NOVEL posts, don't read them.
Its so obvious that if he is not actually married he is in a relationship. First up there is the lack of immediate availability, thats always bad sign if not a red flag in itself but you get the second clue with the lipstick and ignore it your asking for hassle.
That is more along the lines of 'any advice', even if I don't like it. Not criticism on the length of my post. I added details as I said, 'cause some of you biiitch and moan when OP's don't 'include' something in the OP
To msflis;
So are we to take it that you didn't actually mean the word "any" here? Because that's what you got, and now you are complaining about people's responses.
I'm complaining about the responses that are not related to my OP. As in, I am not bitttching. I understand it's a 'first date' (which is why I asked if it should be seen as a red flag) AND I am not stupid enough to forget that I am also 'seeing' someone else.
BUT the OTHER guy I am seeing, well....it's not a lot, rather sporadically, and it's definitely NOT serious and I'm not really sure if there is potential there for what I WANT. Nonetheless, no need to bash my clarification. I can take criticism, but as I said above....for those who don't like the length of my OP, don't read or reply to it...(and that goes to the one who wasted 2 minutes of her life reading mine - why respond if you wasted time reading it???
to The Belly;
Don't know how long you've been in the forums, but when one doesn't write all the 'details' you end up getting bashed about it in some way later on in the thread for not mentioning it to begin with. Go ahead, read some threads and see how many "You didn't give enough details in your OP" posts you'll find.
You know...people come here and SAY they want any and all advice...then they get pissed with what is written! Hypocrites!
I'm going to say AGAIN. You seem to have trouble reading and or comprehension.
I am accepting of all advice...just not that of how LONG my profile is, or that I am 'biiitching'. You don't know the look on my face, the tone of my voice, etc...I merely asked a question about a red flag. That does NOT equate with biiitching. HYPOCRITE?
The only part I'm debating is those who say I'm bitttching or perhaps doing a double standard. WHY??? Cause....I AM NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP. I simply see someone sometimes...(If I wrote about that part, you'd all complain about TOO LONG or TOO MANY DETAILS) Evidently I have to spell it out to you NOW.
The 'other guy'. It very casual. We didn't even see each other for almost 2 months.
Ebb and flow...NOT SERIOUS.
I am not a hypocrite IF I DON'T WANT TO BE SEEING SOMEONE WHO HAS A GIRLFRIEND CONSIDERING I DO NOT HAVE A 'BOYFRIEND'.
Is that clear enough? I don't have any of the 'other guys' stuff in my car or in my house...'cause he's NEVER even BEEN IN EITHER!!!
to OutMind;
Please read above or frequent the forums a little more. OP's can't win...you either don't write enough details for people to make an opinion or it's too much.....don't like the 'novel length'...you can always stop reading and move on to the next thread........
To jack53157;
I didn't 'search' his truck. It was right out in the open, next to the ciggs, lighter and openly visible. I don't 'search' people's belongings. Period.
to barry1817; (and anyone else who mentioned this).....
He could be seeing anyone he wants to be seeing, as I am, BUT and this is a big BUT....I am NOT committed to anyone. I don't want to be someone's 'chick on the side' when they're living with someone or they've had a g/f for 2 yrs!!! That's the difference. There is a difference when you end up being the one who someone's been 'cheating with'.
I don't want that, don't like it...and have had it happen too many times for me to count.
Hence why I wrote the post to begin with. | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:01:12 PM | About the lipliner...it could be a number of things. Maybe he likes to put it on in secret. Maybe it belongs to a female friend. Maybe he gave a coworker a drive home and she left it there. Maybe he is seeing someone else. Maybe he is married and it belongs to his wife. There are so many maybe's.
I would not really assume anything at this point because we all know what happens when we assume. I think you need to ask him about it or keep seeing him and keep your eyes open for any red flags.
If you do ask him about it and he tells you it is his, at least you have someone you can shop with for makeup. Spiffy.
~Carrie | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:10:37 PM | | Hey dont know if you still needed advice or not but thought I would put my two cents in. First its good to keep options open until you have the talk about committed realtionships with whatever guy. Date alot of people at one time just dont sleep with alot of people at one time. Always ask first if you still get the niggle feeling that his is a liar then he peobably is and time to date someone else but dont throw in the towel after one date (that was great) over something that could be innocent and since it was a first date maybe he is seeing a couple of people too right now its fair for both sides to see more than one person until you decide that you are serious | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:32:01 PM | | He didn't hide the lip liner and to me that says it all. If you're in a relationship with this guy and you find lip liner, ask where it came from. Nothing wrong with dating more than one BTW. We date to find the "one". I get tired of the most innocent things meaning he's married. I stayed with my brother a couple of weeks ago in Dallas and he explained to his girlfriend his sister has long blonde hair so if she finds any, not to worry. I could have left lipstick in his jeep. Perfectly innocent..... | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:36:16 PM | I love how people who are dating are never to have friends or contact with people of the opposite sex. The lipstick could've come from anyone.. Doesn't necessarily mean that other person was anymore invold than you are. Does the controlling, insecure, jealousy never end?
And by the way.. This was a first date right? What right have you to say about any aspect of his life or whom he spends it with. Perhaps you should spend a little more time entertaining yourself, then you wouldn't be bothered things about what everyone else is doing.
And you're seeing someone to 'keep your options open' Let me give you advice.. if you're going to play around.. tend your own business, you haven't earned the right to infringe on others business. | |
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svj
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Joined: 9/15/2007
Msg: 68 | |
| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/26/2007 1:41:17 PM | anenigma: I'm not going to bother repeating a bunch of stuff that other people have already beat to death. But since you are still apparently reading this thread, I would like to point something out that will save you a little stress in the future.
Not everyone read the entire thread before posting. Depending on the length of the thread... most don't. They just read the original post, maybe the one or two directly after it... maybe the one or two at the very end, and then post their own opinion. Anything written on a page other than the first or whichever page is currently last is basically ignored.
So posting a clarification of what you meant to say later on in the thread is mostly useless, unless it's the 2nd post. Not that some people won't read it... they will but there is no way you'll get *all* future posters to read it. So you're always going to get people replying to the OP and the OP alone.
Chalk it up to experience. Make sure you get the question right the first time.
Short and succinct leaves less room for mis-interpretation.
You're best off just abandon this thread... as you already have the answers you seek. (it could be anyone... mother, sister, ex, friend, co-worker, etc.)
Continutally reading this thread and responding to the unending criticisms will only give you more grief.
Hope things work out for you! | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:42:49 AM | No red flags exactly, but pause for thought. If it was just the lip liner by itself or the cigarettes by themselves it would be one thing. But both together probably mean that there's a "she" that is in that truck with some regularity. It's probably not a daughter, though, since makeup is so expensive. And I can't imagine that you would have gotten in that truck in the first place if you didn't know already that he's got a daughter. One of the things that struck me in what you've written is that the guy didn't clean the truck up a little before this first date. That would be one of the few times that my truck is actually clean. It doesn't seem very thoughtful to me.
All of the posters that suggested that the only way to really know is to ask him about it, are right. But I don't think that it needs to be in the form of a light hearted comment though. Even without being in an exclusive relationship with anyone, you have the right to be curious about other people in a potential relationship. Its not just about having safe sex here, there's condoms for that. But about being safe in general. You have the opportunity to venture outside of your immediate area and friend base these days when dating, and it would be easy enough to wind up with someone with a psycho wife that doesn't appreciate your lips locked with her husband's. Ask him about it since it's clear that you like other things about the guy. If you think you can actually believe his answer, it sounds like you've got something to look forward to. I'm sure you won't find anything in the truck next time you're in it. | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 11/27/2007 11:42:51 AM | Wait a second, I think I can answer this question once and for all... was this guy driving a tan Bronco? Was the lip liner "Red Passion #5"? Because if it was, then it's mine. Sorry, my bad. We're just seeing each other casually though, so go for it sweetie.
Seriously, though, I've heard that some guys intentionally leave a woman's earing or something in their car when they go out on a date to create an air of mystery and because, theoretically, "women want what other women want".
The bottom line is that there are so many possible explanations that it doesn't even warrant serious consideration as far as I can tell. | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 12/1/2007 3:05:15 AM | anenigma,
didnt mean to say taht You had searched his truck hope it didnt come out that way
My meaning was that people have strange things in their cars TRUST me I am an EXPERT on cars and trucks and I find humor in it everyday
I own and operate an Auto and Truck garage in the city of Philadelphia [where YOU live by the way] [Oxford Circle ] and every car or truck that comes in with even a minor problem may have to be "opened up for inspection" so next time you take your car into your repair shop stop and think HMMM whats in the trunk ? tail light bulb out ? whell lock key so he can ck brakes whats in the glove box or where ever you put the key last time
at my shop even for a flat we check ALL tires for air pressure inculding the spare so that chicken that fell out of the bag on the way home from acme 2 wks ago will be getting preetttyy ripe about now
any way hope ur still reading I never said YOU searched his truck
I was writing HURMORUSLY about my truck
but watch out for any of Johny Doc's union members [local 98]
just kidding I'm sure HE wont be indited till after the New Mayor takes office in Jan 08   | |
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| First date with this guy...went GREAT except for THE LIPSTICK..men and women's opinions wanted!!
Posted: 12/1/2007 4:44:44 AM | | I would be more suspicious about all the overtime, which might or might not be connected to the lipstick. But I would go out on some more dates with him. If the lipstick is still there, you could ask him about it jokingly. But don't come over all heavy. After all, you are not in a relationship yet and he might just be keeping his options open - as indeed you are! | |
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