| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 3:46:25 PM | | Look, you folks need to knock off the bull$h1t with the whore remarks, already. I love the self-righteous bull$h1t the most when you all know that you're not squeaky-a$$ clean. Nobody anywhere is, not just on this $orry advice column. If I was some totally ignorant a$$ and listened to/heeded $ome of the crazy-a$$ed bull$h1t on here, not to mention, perhaps taking it to heart, I'd have become a misanthrope, if I was not one already. Some other kindly souls beat you to it. The demeaning and unwarranted h0rse$h1t is not necessary and is way more harmful to the slinger than it is to the woman who came here and mistakenly asked for some GOOD advice. Some of you really ought to be ashamed of yourselves. I'm sorry, but the ignorance around here and everywhere doesn't cease to amaze me. Just knock it the fvck off. Love, Titus | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:06:33 PM | You can start by leaving him alone,your friends gave you some bad advice, he's probably looking at you as a dirty old chick with a kid , im not sure what you look like but chances are if he found you appealing, he would of been all over you like a fat kid on a smartie.
Doesn't matter whats in your heart, he's avoiding you its best to send him a hallmark card saying that your truly sorry and leave the kid alone, before you find a restraining order | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:16:44 PM | Whoa!!!!!! TitusBreast.....that was quite a tongue lashing. Maybe you and the OP have a lot in common (get it....TONGUE lashing .......damn, am I funny tonight or what). Guess you have been in her shoes before, huh?
What's with all the dollar signs.....you can say ass on here. Oh, wait.....maybe it's all about money.
This is a public forum.....people are going to give their opinion and they are going to be differing ones.....that's what it is all about. LIGHTEN UP! | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 4:33:06 PM | Yes, I've been in her shoes and everybody else's, too. They don't fit me a damn, and I'm not interested in yours, by the way, either. It IS all about money. Different is great. Deranged and asinine is anything but great, as far as I'm concerned. I'm all about getting under an a$$hole's skin. You can take that any way you like, even to the bank.
Love, Titus | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:04:56 PM |
if he found you appealing, he would of been all over you like a fat kid on a smartie.
Ahhhhhhh. Now that's some funny sh1t.
Yep. You sounded like the town mattress tester. Leave the poor kid alone. His emotional scars will heal - with time and psychological assistance............... | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:14:55 PM | for the gal above u
ur the creepy one take down ur pic PLEASE!
some people just dont share their pics
but anyways, you just gotta get down to our maturity level, im 20 and that still sounded a bit much for even me | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 5:56:20 PM | Would you like it if a guy you liked came up to you and said that? Well, he probably liked you, and then you went and did that. If he didn't like you, he almost certainly would have slept with you right away, but I doubt that he would have called you in the morning.
Apologise. Explain that you momentarily went insane, that you like him, that you don't get sex to get what you want, but that if the two of you ended up in a relationship, and in bed as well, would that be so bad?
Please, don't listen to a man who has turned down other women who he would have happily gone on a date with, because she asked him for sex, and showed no romance either. | |
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Spork_
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Joined: 3/27/2006
Msg: 35 | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/21/2007 8:58:48 PM | | Being that he is only 18, you probably traumatized the poor guy. you might be better off leaving him be and hopefully learn from your faux paus, and move on with your life. In hind sight, you might have saved yourself a lot of embarrasment. Honesty is good virtue, but sometimes biting your tounge is an even better one. If you do find someone who has mutual feelings for you in the future, this is probably not something you are going to want to share with him if the subject doesn't come up. Anyways, better luck with future interests. | |
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ealey1
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Joined: 10/3/2007
Msg: 39 | |
| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 3:54:15 AM | well sounds to me and i hate to hurt feelings, but sounds to me he only wanted 1 thing. so if i were you next time you start talking to someone dont rush things.
by the way he was 18 well most of the 18 year olds are just looking to have fun. so dont think it had to do much with you, yeah sure you were honest but you know, if he was a real friend then he would have kept in touch.
well good luck to you!! | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:43:22 AM | Thank you naughtical you so figured out my ploy. Wow. Let's all give naughtical a round of applause, for finding out my ploy. Ha-ha, you are such a mental giant.
LAY OFF, I'm only on pof to read the forums and answer the mail, and to get advice, why would you stoop to that level of bs, when I am asking a viable question? Do you think perhaps, just maybe, I really do want advice?
I admit it I am not the best at attracting the hottest or nicest of men, and I will post a picture, I just haven't had time. What are you jealous or something?
You have confused me naughtical and I thought that these forums were for advice not for people to assume things or cause others to inflict jealous posts.
I went and put this on to get genuine advice, I just wanted to be with someone nice and someone who looked at me with out anger or someone who appreciated me, and I know this man would have been that guy, the nice guy! I just wanted advice on how to say I'm sorry, or how to tell him that I was only trying out what others told me to do.
I didn't want to loose this persons respect, and that is what I did. I know that I am naive and I know that I am gulliable, but I didn't do this to get dates, I did this to find out just how bad I did screw things up. This was my chance to be happy and I foolishly took advice and that advice didn't give me the happiness I was seeking, but I lost someone who could have been a really great friend. I wasn't even after him for a date or marriage or anything close, I just wanted his friendship.
Thank you so very much naughtical for pointing out my wonderful and devious ploy to get dates! | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:55:50 AM |
Wow. You really told him that? Was there any hint from him that he was interested in you before you said it?
Yes, he was all into the conversation! He even kept it going, he even seemed to enjoy talking about it.
And truth be known, I wouldn't have done it, I probably would have just sat there and talked to him!
I still want to be friends with him. He's not your typical 18 year-old, he's in fact the smartest person I know! He is in college, to be an engineer, and he may not be pretty to look at, but his mind and wit are amazingly beautiful! | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:05:08 AM | Honey you need help if you think that's the way to attract a good man. It screams tramp.
"I went and put this on to get genuine advice, I just wanted to be with someone nice and someone who looked at me with out anger or someone who appreciated me, and I know this man would have been that guy, the nice guy!"
Again this is not how you should go about it. Your not showing yourself any respect at all, so how is someone else supposed to respect you?
" I just wanted his friendship."
What you were offering was not friendship...... | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:16:59 AM | I don't know what to say. Really, I would have been flattered that someone would have come right up to me and said that. But he is a little bit younger, so maybe you just surprised him.
People are sexual creatures by nature, I wouldn't go as far as to call you a whore. But I can see you feel really bad about this. How far have you actually tried to talk to him? Have you called him, maybe you could find something about from one of his friends?
You were very honest to begin with, you should continue to try to be honest. Let him know how you are feeling. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 11:49:09 AM | Well as a guy, I can try to put myself in his place {rolls back the clock 50 years or so}. By the time I was 18, I knew that older people were having sex all the time, but I sure wasn't. I also believed, from a divorced high-school friend, that once a lady gets used to it it is hard to give it up {don't bother to point out the errors in my thinking, I know better than that now}. So I had a couple of "grown-up" ladies come on to me and I always said no or made some bs excuse. So here is my version of what he might be thinking.
Geez, I am flattered but I don't know what I am doing and I am afraid it will only be embarassing. I don't want to get attached to you cuz you will only dump me for a guy your age when you find one. I can't be the first guy you have done this with, so what about STD's?
As far as my advice, you have been honest but not very tactful. If you are any kind of friend with this young man, yes, you should make amends for being so blunt, but don't lie about your intentions. If you are still interested, then back away from sex and just see if he is willing to spend time with you doing whatever. If so, then spend time with him and you will soon know if he is interested in being intimate because he already knows that you are. If not, chalk it up to experience and keep  .
The lesson learned is that if you are going to spend time with younger, less experienced, men, you need to take their lack of experience into account and "stay with" them wherever they are. You still need to let them lead, at least at the beginning, and be understanding and patient when they drop the ball. You need to be ready for all of his misconceptions and misinformation based on listening to his buddies that did not know what they were talking about. When the need arises, you need to be a patient and supportive teacher. Either that, or you need to find a man who are nearer your own age and know what they are doing. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 12:32:52 PM | Listen OP, thats the not the way to go about seeking a real friendship, if he's a mature as you say he is , he probably thought the same thing, he might of been polite or just liked conversing with you thats all.
You were honest with him and you misunderstood his intentions, shit happens but you cant force someone to be friends with you just because you want to, Its sounds like he's not interested in being friends anymore, let sleeping does lie............. time to move on
send him a hallmark card and say you're sorry about the Misunderstanding and leave him alone, if he values or wants to rekindle the friendship then the balls in his court. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 2:02:45 PM | OPie ~~ Prolly NO man, of ANY age ever wants to hear that a woman he might be interested in loves to give head and is very good at it. The only image that can arise is: how many other men? That isn't an image that's ever good in a relationship. EVER. Consider this a pretty cheap lesson. Good luck, Sugar.
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/23/2007 5:29:08 PM | no picture at all was better than one with stickers all over your face, kinda juvenile. Again....what were you thinking???
I liked her picture. It's nice to see someone happy just being themselves!
OP, my genuine advice to you. Just be yourself when you're talking to a guy you're into. Don't bother asking your friends for advice, unless it's asking them about his interests, or something else to give you a bit of a head start.
If you were just being yourself in the conversation with him, and it didn't work, then you could walk away knowing that things between you two would never work, as you're probably way too assertive for his liking. But if you *weren't* being yourself (which I suspect), you walk away feeling empty/annoyed/alone when it doesn't work. (Note, even if it does work, it can lead to a very unhappy future once you realize he may never be attracted to who you really are.)
If things are ever going to work out for the long run, they will find out how you are eventually. I know this advice doesn't help you in your current situation, but I think that situation is pretty well lost. All you can do is know better for next time. If I were you, the way I would personally react is to tell him 'Sorry, I really liked you and took my friend's advice and was a bit silly. Try again?" That response only works cause it's what *I* would really do though. Do what you want to do in this situation - if you want to reach out to him, do it. You've got nothing to lose.
EDIT: Why do you have a restriction on your profile asking for guys who are 22+? You could be weeding out guys that - obviously judging by your thread - you could potentially be really attracted to. | |
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| need help. I sounded like a tramp. Now what?
Posted: 11/26/2007 10:16:23 AM | It could be his age, but you could flip this over and..
you are an 18 year old girl and hes a 24 year old guy, you hardly know, him he says he really fancies you and if you call a round later hes going to give you the night of your life...
Yeah I think I know how you may feel about that. | |
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