| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:53:33 PM | So......when a woman who is 5'1" turns down men who are less than 6'0", you'd have a problem with that, too? Would you be screaming "that's hypocritical, you're short, too!"
If you want to play it like that, let's just separate everyone by race, height, weight, eye and hair color right now and not let them intermingle, because it's "hypocritical" when someone doesn't date his/her exact body double.
I'm tall and black and I usually date very short women in preference to tall women. Oops! Guess I'm hypocritical because I turn down women who aren't short enough! | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 4:17:04 AM | | I think he can/may turn down anyone for any reason. I'm a bigger woman, but I don't date big guys (usually). For some reason, I am attracted to SKINNY. And believe me, there are plenty of tall, skinny guys who like bigger women. I have a friend who has the complete opposite tastes as me, she likes them with plenty of meat on their bones, and she's as skinny as they come. There is just no right or wrong, black or white, about one's preferences, they just ARE, and no one should be "blamed" for what their choices are. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 4:57:43 AM | laughing my head off here, yeah im a size 14 and been told by an alcoholic, drug user/dealer whos so unfit that im too fat for his liking (haha dont flatter yourself mate, he had one ear bigger than the other and blew his nose on his sleeve but hey ho, so perfect lol).
Then there was a guy i had a mad passionate weekend with who then told me he dosnt mind sex with anyone but only sees girls who have small breasts on a regular basis. He actually said that just as he was about to get his train home after our wild weekend wtf!
There loss not mine thats all i can say. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/28/2007 10:46:34 AM | whoa now, skinny people are capable of having flaws just as much as anyone else. so i very much doubt that this is about having expectations for a *perfect* plastic cookie-cutter girl or boy -- remember, flaws exist on and under the surface, and no one is perfect.
not everyone is going to follow the standard of attraction you do (or that you think they should). accept it, and move on. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/28/2007 11:29:31 AM | I have always thought people can be most cruel to those that remind them of something that they do not like about themselves or feel insecure about...like...... a fat person not wanting to have anything to do with a another fat person, a black person not wanting to have anything to do with another black person, a drug addict not wanting anything to do with another drug addict and best of all.... a beautiful woman not wanting anything to do with another beautiful woman...... I find when someone rejects another person who is a direct reflexion of self....there are insecuriy issues about what they are rejecting at work there........ and for those people, they cannot help being the way they are. I would not consider it a matter of being hyprocrital. It's just that those person will be in for a rude awakening one of these days that could make them become bitter when the same rejection is turned on them. They find it very difficult to deal with then.
This has nothing to do with personal preference. You can still have your preference and be kind to another like person...(i.e. A dance does not a relationship make)....not reject them outright for something you are also.
When you have such a closed mindset, you close yourself off from some beautiful possibilities! | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/28/2007 12:18:16 PM | Where exactly did i ever say that skinny people are not capable of having flaws. I said that if you can't accept flaws in someone else that are the exact same flaws as you have then that is very telling about the type of person you are. Flaws and imperfections could be anything like a smoker not giving another smoker even so much as a chance to get to know them.
If someone will not give another person a chance for flaws they have themselves then fine that 's up to them ,but never expect that others should overlook your flaws then. I may not be all for dating a man with children but i would not write someone off for it without even giving them a chance. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 12:57:23 PM | I've met people like that! Fat people who think they are so hot and better than others who will only date others who are this tall or have muscular builds or a certain boob size. They are picky when they don't really have the luxury of being picky. Everyone has standards but damn if you are 250lbs-300lbs and someone who weighs a little less than you is interested and you refuse them? Come on you both have something in common! you both like to chow down you little piggies!  So I don't get it but I know several overweight women who will only date men who are 5'10 or taller and have lots of moeny and expect them to take them out to expensive dinners. (Which are even more expensive becuase they eat so damn much)
I think its ridiucualous when you got a girl who weighs 300lbs and she rejects a guy who weighs 50 pounds less than her. Your friend is a moron | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 1:19:50 PM | | raychass, i think you misunderstand my point. the reality is we ALL have preferences. and surprise, some of those preferences will differ from our own physical qualities or experiences. it's not about people not giving a chance to others who have what you define as the "same flaws", but rather...simply not finding that combination of qualities desirable. you can't argue attraction, and it's wasted effort for anyone to be bitter about it. i'm not everyone's type, they're not all going to be mine, we all need to accept that reality and ourselves, then move on. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 2:19:14 PM |
I've met people like that! Fat people who think they are so hot and better than others who will only date others who are this tall or have muscular builds or a certain boob size. They are picky when they don't really have the luxury of being picky.
Everyone has the "luxury" of being picky, even if he/she has few "options" in terms of who will find him/her attractive. It's a valid choice,to not date anyone, rather than date someone who isn't attractive to you.
I don't think that someone having strong preferences means that he "thinks he is so hot and better than others". It's a strong preference, period, not a "comparison" of relative strengths and weaknesses.
To use an example that isn't about weight, which seems to be a hot button for many. I am a flawed Christian, who often sins. In fact, I'm now living with my SO prior to marriage, and to many, that would be seen as sinful. I embrace sex as part of dating, which by traditional morality is sinful. So, I certainly don't see myself as "better" than anyone else. That being said, when I was looking, I wouldn't go out with someone who didn't believe in God. Along the way, there were some women, who viewed my perspective as "sinful" and weren't interested in me. I accepted that as valid, but I also had an "absolute" about only going out with someone who, at a minimum, believes that God exists. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 2:38:50 PM | | Well I'm just saying and people are tired of hearing it this is just my opinion and noone elses. I too am also overweight not obese but overweight and very healthy so the doctor says. When I look at a woman yeah she needs to be altogether great on the inside but because I am a man and I know who I am in life and my stature in life I must have the closest to the best. My ex was pretty and not overweight so I must do better than what I had and not only that but I believe that me and another woman my size have only one thing in common slow metabolisms...yeah we might have other thiings but considereing everything that involves dating we've done all we can do and now sex comes into play been here done that two big people is just hard to do each other hate to say but its true it is much easier for one smaller and the other big or two that are small but two that are big no-no. Yes it sounds shallow but when you do the Geometry two round balls coming together bounce away from each other... | |
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| Preference my butt, you can't use preference as an excuse.
Posted: 11/28/2007 3:21:21 PM |
It's hard to like a hypocrite.
I totally agree ...but... going back to this ...
Now i don't think he has the right to refuse anyone solely based on weight, A fat person using preference to reject another fat person is utterly silly.
Wrong!
He DOES has the right to like anyone he wants. Even if it's hypocritical & silly.
People do it all the time.
I say "let them make their bed & lay in it" ... it's only right. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 4:12:18 PM | Your friend is entitled to his preferences in a woman, just like everyone else. The fact that he's overweight and isn't into overweight ladies is his business.
Many very fit and buff guys prefer heavy ladies. It's not a stigma for these guys to find larger ladies attractive, so why should your friend feel any obligation to show interest in heavier ladies, if he's really not into them?
He's being honest about what he wants for himself, I think like the rest of us, he should go for what he really wants. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/28/2007 4:59:20 PM | "He's being honest about what he wants for himself, I think like the rest of us, he should go for what he really wants. "
If he really wants that in someone else, why doesn't he want it in himself ? I still stand by what I say. If your big and think YOUR beautiful, your mate being big should be just as beautiful to YOU. You can't say well some like bonde hair and some like blue eyes or brown eyes. Each one of those features looks good on differn't people. But fat doesn't look good period! It may be accepted by some, but it doesn't look good. | |
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