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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:37:15 PM | Now i don't think he has the right to refuse anyone solely based on weight, A fat person using preference to reject another fat person is utterly silly.
We all have our preferences but there are exception to every rule, in my opinion this is one of them.....Agree or disagree??????
First of all who said it was a big deal?
I guess it's just me that feels that if someone starts a thread and tries to defend it as much as you have, it seems to come across as A BIG DEAL!
i don't think he has the right..
in my opinion this is one of them.
With friends like that who needs enemies!
In my opinion, only his opinion really matters when it comes to his life!
Thanks for the lesson in hypocrisy TDH.
~Huge Belly~
and op... you are not that mans friend for thinking so low of him that he can't choose who he wishes to spend time with... Yup yup! | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:37:38 PM |
Now i don't think he has the right to refuse anyone solely based on weight, A fat person using preference to reject another fat person is utterly silly. He has the right to his own preferences. Even so, if i was within earshot of that conversation i would have been very tempted to set him up and get him rejected by a woman he would have been attracted to, and make sure he knew it was because of his weight. If he accepted that... fine. But if he b1tched about what a shallow person she was, i would have a field day with his hypoctrical attitude. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/21/2007 9:58:04 PM |
dr jekyll wrote:
I went out with a friend of mine over the weekend. This guy is rather on the large side....
.I love the guy to death but he has yet to spend one day of his life in a gym or away from
a buffet table...
Now we are out at a dance club and this girl comes up to him and ask him to dance,
He turned her down, now when the girl ( who was rather pretty ) left i asked him what
was up with that, his reply was " She was too big" WTF this girl was truly "a few
pounds over" not the POf version but the reality version. ..
Now i am somewhat amused by this so i say to him " gee you aint exactly mr twiggy
over here, you're a pretty big man yourself, how can you turn away someone solely
based on her being a little overweight?" His response to this was "I know what i like
and i like women in shape".
Now i don't think he has the right to refuse anyone solely based on weight,
A fat person using preference to reject another fat person is utterly silly....
We all have our preferences but there are exception to every rule, in my opinion this is one of them.....Agree or disagree??????
Dr. Jeckyll,
When your friend said "She was too big," the unspoken end of that sentence is,
"She's was too big... for my taste," or "She was too big.... for my liking."
Simply put, we cannot dictate what someone else should or should not feel.
What your friend's own weight is and what his greatest likings are for women
are may entirely be two different things.
Now what if your friend was thin, or athletic, and told you that for his own tastes,
his own preferences were not so much for thin or athletic women, but rather
that he otherwise found he was attracted to BBW?
Do you see what I'm getting at here? -- how we are ourselves (thin, athletic, few
pounds over, overweight, or whatever), and what most most physically attracts us
to someone else aren't necessarily related.
And it's not a matter of being hypocritical or anything else like that, but rather
simply a matter of personal taste.
And so it is that a large man might find he's most attracted to thinner women,
and a thinner man might at time find his own likings are for larger gals. No
hypocrisy there that I can see, but rather simply a matter of what we're each
most attracted to, regardless of our own stature.
If any of that makes any sense,
CJ | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/21/2007 10:07:16 PM |
He said MORE flexible... he didn't say overweight women are NON flexible...
Christ it's easy to offend some people these days...
For the record... I am not offended... I found his comment to be quite funny! Another point for the record... I have one friend that I've had for life... she is a size one and isn't flexible at all... Just making a point... a small point... but a point...  | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/21/2007 10:40:09 PM | When are you people going to get it through your heads,,,,,,,,,,,,,,skinny people know this but want to be P.C..............The U.S. is getting tired of seeing A** wider then the shoulders,,,,,even over wieght people are,,,,,,,,,,Disnyland shut IT'S A SMALL WORLD down so they could refitt it decause too many LARGE people ,,,,,,,,,,mostly women,,where bottoming out the boats. and they are makeing paths wider because of all the little rascle running a round,,,,,,,,,and who do you see???????80 year old grannies??No,,,over 74 % of them are people under 45 and over wight. ,, guess what % is women? over 80%
and even on this forum ,,,,,the pretty people can come straight out and say they want people that take care of them self.,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, Now that answers all the question,,,,,,and If your mate says lose them LOSE,,,,,and if there not skinny then they must lose if not leave. know hang me kill me do what you want but just SHUT UP!!! abought the hole "He said I need to loose weight,,,and it huert my feelings",,,,,,,,,Sale thoery says If one person complains then there are at least 20 that don't.  | |
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| Preference my butt, you can't use preference as an excuse.
Posted: 11/22/2007 2:27:31 AM | First off... I would encourage those of you who think this situation makes the fat dude a hypocrite, to utilize a dictionary and find out what the word actually means. I realize this might require you to lift something or type something into a keyword box, but the work will be worth it in the end, I assure you.
Now on to new business.
A person can want whatever they want to want. Just because a person is something or is in the state of being or having the quality of being something, does not mean they must be paired with someone that has the same quality. To think that such a thing is the only viable or likely outcome is retarded... I'm sorry, but whatever god you think created you, failed you. May the almighty sky computer be praised.
If the guy wants to be an c0ckbag, let him be one. I'll admit, I think he's a douche, but, it's his prerogative(his 'right' for those of you looking things up).
I'm a big fat guy... actually, I'm a big fat hairy guy.... with man stuff.... yeah, that's right, man stuff. I don't bitch and moan that I can't get women... well... actually, I do. But, only to my cats.... and the occasional child on the street.
I'm not going to bash people that want what they want. I don't care.
I'll be honest, I usually find the more proportionate women, more attractive. It's nature.
Does that mean that when they open their mouths I'm still smitten? No.... not usually.
When you get right down to it, most people are retards and possibly demonspawn (including me) and we should all feel lucky anyone wants to see us naked, let alone have a conversation with us.
the giggleparts - That guy you know, that you really don't know what to think about, but you can't help hating the fact that you like him, and he grows on you not unlike some sort of alien fungus, that burrows into your brain and destroys your higher cognitive functions with his +3 mindflayer ability.
PS. Oh snap! My roll hit my target number! This is so much better than getting laid.... right fellas?... Fellas?... right?..... | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:13:15 AM | The underlying point, for some, is that if a man has preferences, he's always wrong, whereas it's perfectly fine if women do.
I weigh about the same as I did, when I finished college, and 2# more, than when I was discharged from the Marines. I have a strong, hard wired preference, that I've tried, unsucessfully, to overcome, for women who are on the slender side of "average". That doesn't mean that I think women, who are larger, are "bad" human beings. Many of my friends, men and women, are overweight. One of my daughters is too. I know that she has found those who are attracted to her, and that's a wonderful thing.
The point being, why would anyone "judge" the preferences of someone else? They are what they are, based on life experience, and knowing what they find attractive in the opposite sex. There are plenty of men, or women, to "go around" among those sincerely open to finding a relationship. I'm not "offended" by preferences that exclude me, and I really don't "get it" why anyone else takes someone they don't know, who states a preference that excludes her/him, as a personal affront. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:23:47 AM | | No !! May god who does your friend think he is.Maybe he should drop all his clothes and have a good look in the mirror:Wow that just ticks me off; Yes I am a few pounds over and only had one JERK on here start to talk with me,I never contacted him: Just to start to knock me because I would not meet with him, He started calling names and it was actually fun,but some of what he was saying was amost scary enough to call the cops:: I did report what he had said:: Thank You ( POF )he is gone for now so no women will be hurt: | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:37:31 AM | No !! May god who does your friend think he is.Maybe he should drop all his clothes and have a good look in the mirror:Wow that just ticks me off; Yes I am a few pounds over and only had one JERK on here start to talk with me,I never contacted him: Just to start to knock me because I would not meet with him, He started calling names and it was actually fun,but some of what he was saying was amost scary enough to call the cops:: I did report what he had said:: Thank You ( POF )he is gone for now so no women will be hurt:
ShareBear, thank you for so immediately validating the point of my post 88, by giving a perfect illustration of what it said.
Appropos of nothing at all, there are plenty of men, who will write to women who are overweight, but very few sane and secure men, who will be interested in someone with an incredibly negative profile, who posts incredibly negative comments about men, POF, and life in general.
I, personally, can't get past weight, in terms of a romantic relationship, but I know a lot of overweight people, who are friends, and are interesting human beings. There are some women who post frequently, who are overweight, but are interesting, funny, thought provoking, and who I am grateful are here in the POF fora. Then there are those who feel that the fact that few men are interested is all about their weight, and not about their negative personalities. Just a thought. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:41:42 AM | Well all I can say on that matter is that we all have our own preferences....tastes in what we like.
Just because someone is overwieght does not mean they have given up thier right to have a choice anymore then being thin or tall or short or blond or brunette or any of the many things that make the world so interesting and wonderful.
There are many people that are thin that prefer to date those that are on the heavier side...that is what they like. Is it wrong...no...are they shallow...no. So why when it is the reverse does it become a problem. Should people look past the outward appearance and judge a person by thier nature...spirit...of course. Do they...no.
I am of Dutch decent and a big fluffy girl...does that mean that I should be dating caucasian men that are overweight...no. I should date whom I prefer just as everyone else on the planet.
There is however one thing that life has certainly taught me and that I personally apply to my own life...do not judge a book by its cover. I like to see a little of a persons nature...personality...spirit and soul before I decide if they are someone I will date...Because looks can be deceiving!!!
And a word of advise to all...never ever make another person feel bad about themselves because they are not your type...always be kind...it is a good way to live. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 5:48:33 AM | | Of course it's OK. Does it make the rejector seem a little irrational? Yes it does. Does it make it seem that the rejector is living in a dream world? Yes it does. But we like what we like and it could be a way for him of protecting himself from being hurt. If he set unreasonable expectations then he will never be in a position to be hurt because he won't ever be in a relationship that he thinks he should have. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being over
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:07:22 AM | For those of you saying that he can never find a thin women that will want to date him...give your heads a good hard shake.
There are plenty of men that like big girls and plenty of women that like big men...period. Does it narrow his pool or potential partners. Of course it does just like any other preference a person may have.
If you will not date someone because they are shorter then you or too tall...does that make you irrational...trying to protect yourself from being hurt? No...
I am a big girl and get approuched by all types of men...because they prefer big girls.
In my travels I have been to countries where the men literally swarmed around me like bees to flowers...because they prefer big girls.
So lets just let everyone make the choices that are right for them. And always try to be kind to those that you are not attracted to whatever your reason because everyone has feelings that can be hurt... | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:09:18 AM | Well I think iiCeiiCe hit it right on the nose, the point of the matter is....
You can not help who you are attracted to, its not calling the kettle black if a big person don't like another big person, and if you think it is well....then your a fool to me....Yes a big person can lose weight, but that does not mean its easy, overweight tendencies have been proven that there are some heredity factors involved, so we can use the phrase being "born" with it. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:18:25 AM | It's impossible to have a rational discussion about preferences on the POF fora, if one of the preferences has to do with weight. Bigger people always come out with pitchforks and torches, calling others superficial and "wrong". Having a preference isn't judging someone's character, nor is one person's preferences an indicator that all men feel the same.
Change it to hair color. If a man has a strong preference for blondes, while having dark hair himself, is he "wrong"? How is that any different from the man referred to in the OP? | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being over
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:27:44 AM | Are there some cases of morbidly obese men and women dating people who are super fit and considered hotties? Sure ,but those cases are more the exception then the rule.If we were to stop being so pc for a second and think about what we all see everyday as far as couples go ,then we would have to admit most people pair up with someone who is close to or the same as far as body shape and looks goes.
The same goes for financial status and social standing . It may happen but how often do you see a well off plastic surgeon dating the clerk from the local convenience store , or a lawyer dating a janitor? Sometimes ,but it's not common.
Anybody may have whatever preferences they want ,but it is possible to shoot to high and way out of your league.Like i said if someone wants to set themselves up for rejection then by all means go for it. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:35:50 AM | "If a man has a strong prefrence for blondes, while having dark hair himself, is he "wrong"? how is that any different than the man reffered to in the OP? "
It's very different and here is how, you say the man has a "strong" preference for blondes and there is without a doubt nothing wrong with that, But he has not eliminated all dark hair women out of his search, he would much much rather date a blonde, But he has left himself open to the possibility that a dark haired lady might just catch his eye at some point.
I don't take issue with my friend having a "strong" preference, WE ALL HAVE THOSE.
I take issue with him eliminating all women that's a little overweight, especially since he is no string bean himself. To me that's just as hypocritical as a smoker eliminating all smokers from thier dating pool. He has a right to do it, no one is disputing that, But we also have a right to look at it for what it is. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:43:35 AM |
It's very different and here is how, you say the man has a "strong" preference for blondes and there is without a doubt nothing wrong with that, But he has not eliminated all dark hair women out of his search, he would much much rather date a blonde, But he has left himself open to the possibility that a dark haired lady might just catch his eye at some point.
Some preferences are merely "preferences" and some are "absolutes". The analogy remains, suppose a man has a preference that is so strong, that he simply can't turn onto a woman sexually, unless she has blonde hair. Sure, that would be an unusual degree of preference for hair color, but there are some who are that way. There are women, who feel no attraction to bald men, and some who can only turn onto men who shave their heads. While those women aren't bald themselves, their preferences are as they are. Those preferences, to that degree, do exist.
I have my "absolutes". At an earlier age, I felt "guilty" for them, but I have grown to self acceptance, and self understanding, and those preferences that are really strong, I simply can't ignore. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:54:13 AM | "Damn...my dating pool of options just shrank... I can now only look at big men... so .. Just so i don't make any mistakes... does that mean they have to have the same body fat percentage????"
This is where some posters get lost in this thread.... Nobody is saying that an overweight person cannot have a preference and should only be with other overweight people. What i and most of the others on my side is saying is, Great have a "preference" But it looks totally silly if you're in fact eliminating "ALL" overweight people in the process.
I have a strong preference for women with a nice booty, To me it's not about the beauty but all about the booty. But i don't eliminate all other women, I am open to the fact that someday i might just meet an oriental with a butt as flat as an iron board and fall madly in love with her. We all have physical "preferences" we know what we like, But if we start to eliminate all others from out dating pool solely based on "looks" then that truly does make us "shallow" don't you think??????. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 6:57:22 AM | Sure it's alright. It happens all the time. I have male and female friends who are on the heavy side and refuse to consider someone who isn't thin to athletic in build. They know they're a little "heavy," but I don't think they realize that they are way beyond a "few extra pounds." I'd never say anything....but I think it might be a good wake up call if one of those thin or athletic people they approached was honest (unkind?) and told them they were way too heavy instead of "No thanks." It isn't just people on POF that have that bizarre view of what a "few extra pounds" means.
But we're all attracted to what we're attracted to. I just think that it's more realistic to get yourself to the point where you look more like what you're attracted to, and you'll be more successful in attracting "like" people. Of course, there's not much you can do about age and height. But everything else? We can work on it. | |
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Men are not getting just as fat as women are .Then again a man will never admit to being overweight or fat. It's those darn man mirrors at work.
Sorry but there are just as many fat men out there as there are fat women. By the way have you heard of spell check?
