| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/22/2007 7:39:11 PM | Fat men have the biggest problem with fat women. They don't see themselves as fat and therefore better then fat women. (as a woman how would you know?)
First we start off with a physically fit male having an issue about a fat friend not wanting to dance with a heavy woman!
Then we have WOMEN deciding that they know the thought process and have a clear understanding of the overweight male physce!
To think Dr. Phill had to go to collage and meet Oprah to get his own show..
Next I'm going to Martha Stewart and have her show me how to whip up a batch of mortar mix for festive brick laying around the holidays! lol
If that doesn't work out, I'll kick back and read a short novel by John Denver and learn to fly!
~Belly~  | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:01:31 PM | As a woman i would know because i date men and have had experiences with these things. A fat man will cut you down and be more cruel quicker then a fit man would. Oh what you don't like that i generalized and bashed? After all you are the master of bashing.It's too bad we were not talking about someone with a disability . You could come up with endless cruel joke after joke. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:11:13 PM | Now i don't think he has the right to refuse anyone solely based on weight, A fat person using preference to reject another fat person is utterly silly ... We all have our preferences but there are exception to every rule, in my opinion this is one of them.....Agree or disagree??????
Disagree.
Of course they have the right. In fact, I'd say they have an OBLIGATION to a potential partner to "reject" them, unless both people aren't interested in having a satisfying physical relationship at some point. I can't imagine anything more disappointing than discovering a man "settled" for me because he couldn't get what he really wanted. Honestly, what good is a man to me who isn't HOT for me?
I'll also take issue with those who call the subject in question a "hypocrite." He'd only be a hypocrite if he called a woman shallow for rejecting him because of his weight. If he takes such rejections in strike, like a man, and isn't derisive and insulting when making his own rejections, and accepting of the fact that he's going to VERY lucky to find a slim, fit woman who prefers extremely obese and non-active men (from the OP's description) - he's NOT a hypocrite.
OP, excuse me if you answered this question on the thread and I missed it: how often, if ever, have you seen this friend of yours actually dance with ANY woman? Have you talked about his preferences at other times, or was this just a comment in a crowded club that made you raise your eyebrows?
My take on this story is it's possible he's a guy who's actually self-conscious & embarrassed about his weight and appearance (never mind those who want to say, "Then he should do something about it" - we're talking here and now, not IF he gets of his butt, etc.), didn't want to face the sneers of the "hot" crowd if he got out there, and covered his insecurity with male bluster and bravado to his buddy - "Nah, she's not my type." | |
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| Preference my butt, you can't use preference as an excuse.
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:13:09 PM | Yes.
It is "OK" for anyone to accept or reject anyone socially for any reason. Or for no reason at all. Which is the schoolyard way of saying your choices are not mine to make. What is not "OK" is telling other people how to live. Like any of you have that figured out? Spare me.
Chores!
Vulf  | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:15:43 PM | | what it comes down to in the end, is we all have our preferences and should not settle below them no matter how stupid or mundane they may be. Better to turn her down for a dance than to date her and make her life hell! Being over weight, or under weight, or tall or short, smoker or not, drinker or not whatever the examples may be does not give anyone the right to tell anyone you should settle for less than what you want from someone. Sure, maybe this guy should get to the gym and lose a few pounds, or a hundred who knows, doesn't matter. What does matter is that everyone is entitled to set their own bar to set, no matter how fat, or ugly you may view them to be. | |
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| Stop judging others by the way they look.
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:17:08 PM | Fat men have the biggest problem with fat women.They don't see themselves as fat and therefore better then fat women.
What the hell are you talking about? Seriously? Does actual thought exist where you live?
And for the love of god, would you people please look up the meaning of the word hypocrite... please.
the giggleparts - Pie, pie, more pie! | |
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| Preference my butt, you can't use preference as an excuse.
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:30:45 PM | After all you are the master of bashing.It's too bad we were not talking about someone with a disability . You could come up with endless cruel joke after joke.
I thought I was and I thought I did! Some people just can't see the humor in people with mental disabilities.. I laugh at the both of you all the time!
You make it so damn easy! So now I can say that I know how women think because I have dated them..... Now that's funny, I don';t care who you are...
I think you two have aadd or something.. Your minds keep wondering back to a thread that doesn't even exist... Focus Mr. President focus...
Always an insult when You can't come up with anything intelligent to say! Like a child lashing out!
The fat guy can dance with who he wants.. Women do not know what men are thinking!
~Belly~ | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:31:57 PM |
Actually Dawn the man spend more time on the dance floor than me(And i love to dance), aint nothing self conscious about him at all.
In which case, I've got to assume there's something about him that ATTRACTS the women he ALSO finds attractive. If he was rude to the woman you're talking about in the original post, then he's not a nice person. If he was polite, and manages to get out on the dance floor with women he has a preference for, I'm not sure where we're going with this. Eventually, one of those women will want more than a dance. Why is that wrong, for either of them? | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/22/2007 8:49:23 PM | | I am overweight but am not physically attracted to very overweight or very skinny men. However, in my defense, i do not ask or expect anybody to be physically attracted to me because of or despite of my dress size so why should anybody expect me to be physically attracted to somebody else because they are overweight? It is about visual attraction and it's innate and mostly beyond our control so it's not that crazy a concept...it's basic human physiology! Does that mean when we lost weight we won't be attracted to overweight people anymore because we ourselves are no longer overweight? Of course not! Our preference stays the same whatever our dress size, it is not measured through or affected by weight. Now whether i would date a very overweight or skinny person is another matter. If i got to know the person 1st then i could overcome their appearance and would probably grow to love their size too. I wouldn't rule someone out because of their weight but if somebody i wasn't physically attracted to approached me in a social setting then they would have to win me over 1st. | |
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| Preference my butt, you can't use preference as an excuse.
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:00:23 PM | Posting history shows us exactly what person is really like . You posting history mr belly is very telling. I find it funny when i see you on threads pretending to be this kind and compassionate person . Yes we know you laugh at others all the time. Your posting history shows this is the kind of person you are. The kind of person who gets his kicks out of making fun of others misfortunes.
Just because a thread has been deleted does not mean your conduct has been forgotten. Talk about mental issues. People in fragile glass houses should never throw stones. | |
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| Preference my butt, you can't use preference as an excuse.
Posted: 11/22/2007 9:46:17 PM | Yes we know you laugh at others all the time. Your posting history shows this is the kind of person you are. The kind of person who gets his kicks out of making fun of others misfortunes.
I have yet to laugh, make fun of or crack jokes about anyone that has ever dated you So why all the hate? I have sympathy when needed!
Stop making your undying lust for me the thread topic..Please! Lets get back to the fat persons right to be picky!
~Belly~
P.s. put the stones down, you could be homeless with one wrong throw! | |
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| Stop judging others by the way they look.
Posted: 11/23/2007 12:17:23 AM |
never said you were delusional at all Raychass. That post was not directed at you at all, rather it was directed at the people that think dating someone overweight is a form of "lowering" ones standards.
Ah good, Im glad to see we are in agreement this time. The end of my post was directed specifically against that type of mentatlity. Nice to see your change of tone since your first and subsequent posts.  | |
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| Preference my butt, you can't use preference as an excuse.
Posted: 11/23/2007 1:24:45 AM |
Yes, I'm narrow-minded and prejudiced against retards and hypocrites. I'm sorry. I didn't know I had to tolerate such people.
It would only be hypocritical if the overweight bloke was moaning that he was being rejected by women purely on his size. This was not stated in the original post.
And no you don't have to tolerate such people. In fact I don't tolerate people who think its ok to call an overweight person a 'lardass'.
Now, maybe if you were capable of reading comprehension, you'd have realized that "zero right to expect" means that it's possible for you to find what you're looking for, but you don't have the right to complain or expect it to happen.
Hmm maybe is a lanquage barrier here?
Zero=none. In other words you meant overweight people have no right to expect a 'fit' person to be interested in them. 'Finding what you are looking for' was not what yoiu meant in yout post, trying to worm out of it now just looks silly.
And if you have a problem with that, cry more. Really. Baaawwww for me.
No I just have a problem witht he mindset that thinks its ok to degrade overweight people verbally or with snide remarks, such as yours. It is that same mindset that causes bullying, violence and drives people to suicide because they can't stand the jibes and taunts anymore.
That to me, is unaccpetable, and I will say so everytime I see it displayed. Im guessing the only people who willhave a problem witht hat, is those with the same prejudice mindset as your own. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/23/2007 5:56:54 AM | | He sounds like a hypocrite BUT hey...you like what you like. Although for you it may be hard to tolerate this but I know thin men who prefer women on the thicker side, non-smokers who don't mind dating someone that smokes and folks that don't drink at all that don't mind dating someone who wakes with a bottle in their mouth. It goes both ways is my point. It just depends on what you are attracted to and that is just something in my opinion you can't help. So I would have to disagree with you. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/23/2007 6:39:22 AM | hmmm
i guess we are all entitled to like what we like, i mean he does have to 'get it up' so to speak.. but if she was only a few pounds overweight then yeah thats pretty bad.. if she was huge then that would be a different story.
but attraction is what it is.. and if ppl have the bar set too high then they might not ever find someone.. but thats their choice really isn't it. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/23/2007 7:48:39 AM | | At my advanced age of 62, I weigh 30 lbs more than I did when I graduated from high school. I have had three children and don't look like Twiggy. (Skinny for all of you who don't know who Twiggy is). When I was younger, I believed a man who weighed 40 lbs more than me would be physically correct. Just recently, I met a man who would have been about 150 lbs heavier than me. Interesting....when we "snuggled" I would be the one in danger of being sufficated. If he accidently sat on me, I would die. Yet, that extra weight would not bother me. It just seems to me that women look more at the whole package then most men do. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/23/2007 8:20:16 AM |
Of course they have the right. In fact, I'd say they have an OBLIGATION to a potential partner to "reject" them, unless both people aren't interested in having a satisfying physical relationship at some point. I can't imagine anything more disappointing than discovering a man "settled" for me because he couldn't get what he really wanted. Honestly, what good is a man to me who isn't HOT for me?
OMG can anyone question the logic of this answer? I couldn't have put it more perfectly if I had posted a million messages. Why the h**l would anyone think so low of themselves that they would need to find an 'agreed' state of physical attraction? Why on earth would anyone want to settle for a person who did not find them irresistable? I personally would hate to think that I was dating a man who felt pressured into dating me just because the general public felt he ought to give me a chance because he was no better looking than I am. What on earth is the world coming to when so many people try to cast shame on others because they don't naturally find them attractive? | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/23/2007 8:40:32 AM | If you can't stand the heat you should not be in the kitchen.... I have no problem with a fat person rejecting another fat persons solely based on them being fat. What i and most of the posters on my side take issue is this.
That same fat person then turns around and hits on a thin person gets rejected and start to scream "shallow". If they can take the rejection without bitching about it then god bless them, live and let live.
reject who the hell you want just as long as you take the same rejection like a man/woman without whining. | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being ove
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:45:09 AM | .... I have no problem with a fat person rejecting another fat persons solely based on them being fat.
Now i don't think he has the right to refuse anyone solely based on weight, A fat person using preference to reject another fat person is utterly silly.
I stand by what i said earlier..... When my friend gets his fat butt up off the couch and hits the gym on a regular basic, Then he can start rejecting women solely based on their weight. If he is a recovering fat person, he can then use a person not doing anything about their weight as a reason for rejection. Until then his "preference" card should be revoked. Like another poster said earlier "how can you expect from others(fitness) what you are not willing to deliver yourself.
I guess the winds have shifted... It is getting hard to keep up with the change in the thread.. It started off one way, then changed to the opposite direction!
Seems as though the word hypocrite has been defined very clearly!
Websters: One who pretends to have virtues, feelings, qualities, ect that he does not posses!
If they are true virtues, one will not sway back and forth! They will always say the same thing.. Not change with the wind!
~Belly~ | |
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| Is it ok for a overweight person to reject another overweight person, solely based on them being overweight?
Posted: 11/23/2007 10:52:01 AM | My stepgrandmother once told me she didn't want to move to Florida because 'all those old people depress me'... she didn't consider herself to be 'old'! I cracked up at that, but it is based on the same thing as the chubby guy rejecting the BBW gal because she was too fat.
And it was JUST a dance, for cryin' out loud.
I believe he was rejecting her before she could reject him. Sorry... sounds like your friend is shallow, insecure and immature... but I'm sure he's a nice guy.
Does he realize that most physically fit people won't even 'see' him? So how is his reverse discrimination working for him? | |
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