| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/8/2008 8:15:56 AM | hello folks, i see youve met my ex wife to be after july... well i wanna say this.. i met her online and yes had my profile on at least 10 different sites.. from when i first ever got online bout 8 years ago.. i joined many sites just to see which ones i liked the best.. so yes i cancelled salot of the memberships but i recon my profiles must still be there.. anyways i met her online and married her. so therefore i was lookin and am lookin now for the woman of my dreasms she obviously wasnt... and when i thought i found her i married her. now most all them profiles from before that were left on there.. well yea they said divorced as i was divorced then... i only use this site now and a christian site .. and yes i was a preacher before her and wasnt while i was with her but a little.. and i fell away from GOD whilst i was with her.. but im preachin today and have a plenty of folks to back me up that i really am.. so thats another lie shes told..
and she has been slanderin me and even got 3 others to slander me as well .. sayin i was a predator.. now i have gotten an public apology from all 3 of them.. cept her.. because they was wrong and it was a lie.. and i can post em here if she tries to dispute it.... i am not and never have been a predator. i do like women but im older now and am lookin for just one good one.. to be with from now on... and my ex to be will try to do anything to mess me up... but i have proof also that she was involved in this slander and other things .. i have proof that i only am and ever been with women that wanted me.. and anything ever done was a mutual thing..
so folks have ya ever seen a person that just didnt wanna let go and move on with their life? heck thats all i wanna do and be left alone.. i just dont like folks tellin lies on me.. ill own up to my faults but will not take the lies bein told. i am no predator. and i have proof. so i imagine this talk and spreadin this slanderous accusations about me should stop.... cause the law frowns upon this kind of behavior..
thank you all for listenin cattle8
p s how many people use their real name for their profile name? i never have.. but if i tell you my name in private then itll be my real name.. thats another lie been told.. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:01:17 AM | Too bad this guy isn't working as spokesman for one of the presidential candidate's. With his bullshit-selling skills, his employer would be a lock to be president! He sounds like he'd be able to sell sand to the Arabs.  | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:13:35 AM | Sorry to hear that happened to you. I had a similar thing happen on here to me, only we did meet.
We became friends on here and he would tell me everything... He said I was his best friend... Well is that not what you look for in a lover and mate? Best friends? He called me all the time, we IM'ed all night long, we met and had a great time each time we were together, after taking it to the next level about 8 months later, he then quit calling as much, found excuses for less visits, still talked to me alot on the IM and that even started tappering off.
He would use the "crutch" that he could not give his heart away, because he had been hurt too bad before........Well, news flash... have we all not been hurt before? I was hurt very bad in my relationship and I decided to get over it and move on....remember we have all been hurt, but I am not the one that hurt you.
Anyways, I got tired of the games and moved on...... What a loser and a user. This guy not ever meeting you, maybe he is not whom he says he is.. Problem with computers, they have no personalites and on here you can be ANYTHING YOU WANT TO BE.
Your a cute girl, move on honey...he is a loser.
Good luck to you ...Happy fishing | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies{its not only for ladies Jane)
Posted: 5/8/2008 9:40:29 AM | Hello ms J ,
i just gone through ya posting n found tht there are other persons with similar things happening like this.It is not necessary to give u a reply i think but i must let u know tht it is only related to ladies but it happens to some guys tooooooooo.
the differences are, u are only away frm him half n hour and me is away frm her thousands of miles.he denied u to meet,but she denies (not exactly) exteneds the meet with new dramas n some things tht a loved heart cud fall in belief.As u hve experienced to this already i can hve sme valuable advice from u how to meet the situation.
and PLZ dont think tht all guys are like this as i got to know tht in your case ALL ladies are not alike.
thnks 4 u and plentyoffish | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/23/2008 4:53:47 PM |
sure sounds like you met my husband on this site and at the other site too. when i became suspicious of his online activities I went to the first dating site that popped up on my yahoo mail screen and created my own profile to do a search. yep, sure as i'm sittin here, there he was, using fake name but posting his real photo. well, i continued my search and found him at 10+ sites. all stating he was divorced (which of course he wasn't) and lo0king for the woman of his dreams. needless to say, i aint with him any longer. he did totally fool women and i mean good women. i talked to some of them. oh, he also claims to be a "preacher" man. imagine that. i agree with some of the other posters here, trust your gut. it wont let you down. there will always be something not quite right, something you can't put your finger on but you know something just dont ring true. there are some good guys still out there and here online but remember, online you can be anything you want to be. and you can just vanish too. i am sorry for you but hope you wont forget the lesson.
heavenlea14u,
Well so much to say here. This man is a preacher who loves his Lord God Almighty. Many of his sermons have helped me and others in numerous ways and brought light and love for God back full force in my life. His sermons and recited verses brought me out of the worse times in my life. Someone who does not love God and is not into his word could not have done these things.
And let me see ….. Yes he is a man. Jesus was the only perfect Human to ever walk this earth! He died for us, for our sins, both men and women. Because he knew we would sin and do wrong onto others. When we do sin and wrong to others we have to ask for forgiveness and we will be forgiven. You also have to be true in your words. I have seen this man’s apologies and listened to him talk about what happened. I have also read the chats between the 2 involved in what should have been a private matter. He is not a predator! He is just a man who sinned and did some wrong. I saw his apologies and he meant those words. The others involved never admitted any guilt and they were just as guilty if not more guilty than he was. But they did half heartedly apologize.
I think it is time to move on with your life and let others do the same. Living in the past, lying, slandering is no good for anyone. And the slandering is illegal. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:20:39 PM |
why couldnt he just leave me alone?
Because this way, he gets to feel like the dumper instead of the dumpee. You're better off. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/23/2008 10:48:57 PM | i'd say he was a trophy hunter. saw you got you owned you and still checks in to make sure. its not about him caring for you. your one of his possesions and thats dangerous
be carefull of people like him. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/24/2008 5:57:02 AM | His wife wouldn't let him out to play.. that's probably the reason he keeps standing you up. He is probably lacking some closeness in his marriage (and lets be honest all you married people, relationships take work and communication, it could be easy to just start chatting with someone and have it get out of hand), and is getting that from you. He knows you are getting frustrated with not meeting, so he tells you he will show up so that you will continue to talk to him. He knows it's wrong, and that is why he hasn't stepped over the boundary. He stopped talking to you for a while because he was feeling guilty, after all, the communication he had with you was a form of cheating on his wife.. (Or girlfriend, whatever the case may be he is taken)
My advice is to let him go.. don't answer the phone when he calls, and don't call him back. He obviously doesn't value you enough to tell you the truth or to come and meet up with you. You deserve better than that.. so get out there and have fun.
JMO | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/24/2008 10:24:04 AM | | Wonderful thing for you is (if you are your picture) you are young, and attractive. It will be easy for you to find one who knows how to make a move. Enjoy! | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 8:55:54 AM | Now I agree, let's call a spade a spade but sometimes there are legitimate reasons for cancelling. In this case it went on a little too long I agree and think there was an issue there. Someone mentioned quite a few posts back that maybe he thought he'd dissapoint you. I can understand that. Most of us who put pics on these site put what we think are the nicest pics of us. We're not going to put them up if we think we look horrible in them now are we? I can't begin to speculate on what was going on in this guys head and most folks here are probably right, that he's and ass and the fact that you're over him is a good thing. I only mention the fear of dissapointment because I can relate to it. The thought of meeting a man that I've been talking to scares the hell out of me but we just have to suck it up don't we?
The first guy that I was supposed to meet from this site cancelled on Wednesday (co-worker was sick and he had to cover), left me hanging on IM on Thursday and stood me up for coffee on Friday. When he didn't answer my e-mails (which I knew he had opened) I got angry and sent him a not so nice and not even close to lady like message.
Turns out the reason he left me hanging on Thursday was because his grandfather had taken a massive heart attack and he spent Thursday and all day Friday at the hospital with him as he passed away. Now of course this is what he told me and I have no way of verifying it but I like to believe not even the worse person on this site would lie about something like that. Needless to say, we never met and he never spoke to me again to spite my attemps to apologize. Anyway, this story is just to prove my point that some reasons are legitimate.
I'd also like to applaud those who mentioned the fact that women screw men over just as much as men screw women over...on-line and in person. I've known all kinds of great men, some of them friends who treat their partners like gold only to be treated like dirt in return. It makes me sick no matter who's doing it but I guess if you look good enough it doesn't matter how much of an arse you are to some people.
Sorry, I think I got a little off topic but I had to say my piece.
Anyway, glad you're over him  and good luck in your search. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:14:12 AM | Hon, I totally get your story, especially the part about cherishing the chemistry, I had a similar experience with an alternate ending but..
I know what you mean when you say it's so difficult to connect with someone in a meanigful way..and then when you do and it goes bust, you end up with a sack full of illusion and not much else, besides the disappointment and pain of course...
Best I can say is pull up your boots and keep walking, the chemistry was an illusion, he on the other end of the phone can say anything you want to hear, reality as you know is another story..
I never, NEVER converse exclusively online or the phone, we will meet in a short time or I won't play...period...
I learned the hard way what attachment to an online persona is all about...DONT DO IT LADIES>>>> | |
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| Be careful out there ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:27:49 AM | This has happened to me many many many times... I have been stood up by the same guy off of POF more than once and by different guys at least five times.
Every single time I have cried my eyes out out of pure disappointment and a feeling of betrayal.
However, I have found that when finally meeting up with these guys, it's definitely not worth it. The one guy that came to see me eventually still owes me 50 dollars (for meals and I had to give him 30 dollars so his friends could come pick him up because I couldn't get rid of him and he had no means of transportation) and he stole my pants. I reported him but I don't know if POF takes these things into account.
Anyway, long story short, these guys aren't worth it, they take up your time and energy, they don't care about your feelings or else they wouldn't lead you on and not call. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:39:19 AM | I was on the internet the other day and there was an article about internet dating.
What it said was basically the longer the "relationship"carrries on without meeting the less chance it has because people have a tendency to imagine or make assumptions about the person. When they meet after prolonged emails or phone calls they find out the person they envisioned is not the person sitting in front of them and the relationship dies right there.
In your case likely what happened was
1 he was already attached
2 his picture was either old or not even him
3 he was just just trying to get attention and never intended to meet.
If I can find that article , I will post it because it was very true.
I have had women chat , email , phone , etc for a while (weeks or month) but not want to meet , then when I asked to meet they suddenly became scarce. I díd't take it personally but would have prefered not to waste my time .
Now I have a 1 week rule that basically says if we don't meet within a week then I move on cause if the girl was serious about a relationship she would want to meet as well.
In terms of manners , there are some very rude girls on here . I was chatting with a girl that was angry at me that I didn't respond to her within a day of her messaging me.
There should be some internet dating rules , such as a time limit before meeting ,
perhaps some rating system on manners and past behavior , some verification of identity and marital status ( not open to members but to prevent impersonators or phonies) . | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:45:33 AM | | My ex-by cancelled our weekend plans because he had family coming into town unexpectedly. I show up the next morning to surprise him with coffee and bagels and his "family" was in his bed having sex with him. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 9:57:41 AM | I have reservations about making a rule to meet so quickly, but I also have reservations about waiting too long. Some of THE finest women I've met online took weeks or even months to finally get a date with. They were WELL worth the time and effort.
That said, yes, sometimes waiting that long has disasterous results too... A while back I met a woman online who was a former Miss Tennessee, a former Atlanta Falcons Cheerleader, and a former Hawiian Tropics girl. Playboy even once tried to get her to pose, but she turned them down. The thing is, she's 46 now, and most of her pictures looked like they were from her glory days, so I was expecting she would be pretty average looking by now, which was fine with me, because I'm a pretty average looking guy too. So, we talked on the phone for months before we finally met, and by then had become very close.
Well, when I finally walked in to meet her for dinner, I got a HUGE shock. She may be 46, but she is still just BACON SMOKIN' HOT. So hot I was actually intimidated, which is pretty hard to do to me...lol
Anyway, after than I got nothing - no emails, no return phone calls or text messages - NOTHING. To be honest, my feelings we're really hurt. I was like, "Aww man, she just didn't find me attractive at all..."
Then, about 3 weeks later she calls me up one Saturday night, drunk off her ass, and whines, "I miss you SOOOO much... you are the nicest guy... you're like a needle in a haystack", etc., etc. I mean she really poured it on thick...lol
I was like, "Who are you kidding? You were seeing several men, you liked one better than me, so then you dumped me, now he's turned out to be a jackass, so you're calling me back! But thanks for the call, I feel a hell of a lot better now!" 
So anyway - as far as meeting goes, not too soon, but not too late either... It's sometimes hard to tell...
Mark
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:15:25 AM | | I've ran into a couple of guys like that on this site (one in particular) who kept playing the "I'm interested" game of wanting to get together & then flaking. I'm a big girl too so I didnt give the situation a chance to even go where yours did & immediately nipped it in the bud to the point of blocking the weirdo from even emailing me again. When people start doing those kinds of inconsiderate things from the beginning, usually an immediate sign to move on & not put much energy into them. Also, there are men (and I'm sure women too) who's only intentions are to do these kinds of things for their own personal gratification of hurting the other person due to their past issues and wanting to justify their revenge on the opposite sex for whatever reasons. Lesson to be learned... If it happened once (with a legitimate excuse of course) then its a courtesy to forgive & understandable. The second time? Move on and dont buy into the game, otherwise you've redeemed your free ticket on an emotional roller coaster and been taken for a ride. Of course he wasnt going to "leave you alone." It was up to you to leave him alone. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:17:17 AM | | Had the same situation happen to me, fortunately, I was lucky enough to be contacted by his g/f of 4 yrs. We set up a conference call with him, and let him trash her on phone, talk about her she stalked him etc, but come to find out, she was financially taking care of this guy and his 8 yr old. After the conversation, and his kissin her ass to make things right, he tells her that we was talking to me, only as a game, becuz she wasn't showing him enough attention....So, I guess you will need to get your own resolution to your problem, but I am sure he isn't single.....probably just miserable in his current relationship and needing some tlc, which he needs to get from his woman or go buy a freaking dog! | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:19:22 AM | | As a preacher you outta be the best person to know how to ignore lies and malicious gossip that isnt true. Unless there are legal ramifications involoved, i wouldnt waste my time trying to validate myself with or to a bunch of dip-sticks. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:25:10 AM | | I still say its a power & control move over the other persons emotionas when the intentions where never good in the first place. Taking out on an innocent by-stander something an ex did to them in the past -OR- deep rooted hate for the opposite sex by gratifying themselves through this kind of emotional punishment. | |
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| Be careful out ther ladies
Posted: 5/25/2008 10:25:44 AM | I know what u are going thru...
i just had my heart broken for the 2nd time by the same guy.
i found out he was lying to mean cheating on me.
when i went to confront him in person she was there. he told me to get out an i wouldn't leave ... so he called the cops.. even she said that it was stupid to call the cops just talk to her . he was a different person because he new he got busted again.. everything i said he would say the oppased i called him a lair to his face. so the cops came an he told them some bullshit story . i told the cop that he would be calling me in a few days an i was right. when he did call he went off on me.. there are people out there that are bullshitters. they want to see how far they can get with you .its not right or fair to play with some ones emotions .
he is telling this girl one thing an me another... i don't put up with games. i really though this was it we both said that there would be no more games or bull . i was truthful with him an he played me again . have i learned my lesson this time ??? YES I HAVE !!!!!
so i know what u fare going threw.
sweetrobbin | |
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