| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:35:44 AM | Yes I would date a cancer surviver...Just because we are struck with a disease or illness doesn't mean we are ready to give up. I guess it is because I was just diagnosed with breast cancer. still in the testing phases, surgery to follow soon and who knows what else. but it brings to light so many other things that are more important to me . What I believed to be issues previously are leaves in the wind now. We never know what life's plan has in store for us. All I ask for is a friend . Not someone to listen to my list of anxieties or problems. Just to treat me as a normal person. We are all going to die someday. Thank you for this post......
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:03:50 AM | | I would have to say yes, because I already have. The fact that she was a cancer survivor was never an issue, and had nothing to do with the relationship coming to an end. Early in the relationship she explained what she had a been through and the procedure it took to correct the problem. It never caused any difficulty and she lives as normal a life as anybody. I don't think whether a person is a cancer survivor should affect the choices we make, we should rely on other things to determine our decisions. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:31:33 AM | RE: Msg 23
I am not looking for long term in the sense it is guaranteed, just in the sense it is intended.
Moto, that is one of the of the most sensitive and true statements I've ever read. It really touched me. Thank you for that. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 11/27/2007 1:32:09 PM | | I most definitely would date a cancer survivor for, you see, I am one as well. It has been just shy of four months since I finished my chemotherapy and even less than that for the radiation therapy I underwent for Stage II breast cancer. I had my lumpectomy in early March of this year. I worked throughout the entire cancer thing. I am a very strong woman and feel that maintaining my normal routine helped me considerably. Added to that, I have two wonderful, grown sons living nearby, a wonderful church family, friends, etc. who were very supportive. None of us reaches this age without going through some trials. If you haven't had something, you will before you leave this earth. Just because someone has cancer does not mean they are doomed to illness from this point on. The person is still the same regardless of the illness; no one asks to be afflicted with cancer. So, a resounding "Yes" to the question of whether or not I would date someone with cancer! | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/2/2007 5:54:55 PM | | I will reply another way....Every lady that dates me is dating a Cancer Survivor. For I am two years out and living life with a bigger smile on my face then ever before. There are worst things you can carry with, about your personality then cancer. If you fight and or are fighting cancer this will make you a better and stronger person. I would never use cancer as a reason not to date some one. But people who do not know about it or are too scared to ask will all ways run the other way. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/2/2007 6:05:22 PM | | In fact not only did I date a cancer survivor but I married one. Two months after we married his cancer returned. The docs gave him two months. We had four wonderful years. He was an incredible man with a marvelous sense of humour; full of joy and love. I was privaledged to be his wife. We were best friends, not lovers. Do I miss him? You bet! Would I do it again. OH YES! | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/3/2007 7:02:18 AM | You know after a year of listening to 60 yr olds complain that they will only date young, athletic, cute women because that's what turns them on, or the mid fifty women saying they couldn't be excited by anyone who was not attractive or well to do....
This is the real, honest to goodness litmus test for who you truly are as 'human beings'.
Most of the people I hear out here are in complete and total denial of their place on the time line....ALL of us can be struck down at any moment now. Listen....Believe it.....and grab a human being with a heart in their chest instead of polyester filling.
When it comes down to it, to be valued for who you are and what you can give, instead of what you appear to be is what gives strength and value to this silly life we've been tossed into screaming and mewling. If we never learn to understand empathy and how to share it we really 'are' no more than.....cold blooded "FISH"  , is that enough?
Beyond sex, beyond attraction is what counts;
Comfort, Respect, Empathy, Appreciation and Love.
Before you are faced with that inevitable moment, however it comes....just for once think about what you really need, right now.
"Yes" | |
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ryn48
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Joined: 2/26/2007
Msg: 34 | |
| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/3/2007 7:09:26 AM | | At our age the chance of getting some type of health issue is great, given the stats on it. It may be that you are dating a healthy person who gets into an accident. We don't know what life will bring, but it is the way you handle these situations that show just what type of person you really are. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/3/2007 9:40:35 AM | | I heard that one in three of us in this country will get cancer. And if it's not that, it will probably be something else. I guess very few of us get through life unscathed. So yes.... | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/4/2007 9:09:17 AM | Yup. I am the son of one and the former spouse of one and the father of one. Why wouldn't date one?  | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/4/2007 11:45:52 AM | | Well, the question of "would you date a cancer survivor" answers itself....."survivor" being the key word. Why not? They're alive and deserve to enjoy life.....sure I'd date them. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/4/2007 12:30:52 PM | | Yes because we have something in common. I hate people who are prejudiced. Nobody is perfect.And cancer is not something you choose to have, or have any control over preventing it. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:49:09 PM | What I'm noticing is who ISN'T posting in this subject.........all the men who criticize women on the other threads! Or who are only interested in having fun.
Strokes, heart attacks, cancer, bypasses......it's like Rusty said. As we age, we are all headed for some of these things and that's when the maturity, integrity and REAL love has to be there........... | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/4/2007 9:01:38 PM | | As a cancer survivor myself I hope that the majority of the answers here lean towards the positive! | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/5/2007 3:40:03 AM | I really like your resonse to the question of dating a cancer survivor. It's real, down to earth, simple and most of all true. You rock!:-)
Janie | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/5/2007 12:25:18 PM | Yes I would date a survivor, yes I would want to know as soon as things started looking serious. Because we would have to plan for what would happen if we both got sick at the same time. Who do we call to feed the cats and water the plants? Can we get adjoining beds? Practical stuff like that.
I'm not a cancer survivor, unless you consider watching my dad slowly and painfully die over a number of years. There is cancer on both sides of my family. There is no guarentee I won't get it, so how can I possibly worry about someone who's already survived once getting it again? I already know that person is tough and can hang on. Besides, if I do get it, they will probably know how to be more sympathetic and less likely to run. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/5/2007 9:48:27 PM | Well what a great subject....I am a cancer survivor...12 yrs...do u know how hard it is to find someone??? Because of that reason....and i do tell them up front...oh we will chat awhile then phone...then meet...then thats it and its not fair...god man im still a women...been clean for 12 years im not suppose to fall in love...have a life...dont think so ...i have emotions and feelings like anyone else...we all do all survivors...thank you for the question....god bless...sll... | |
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| I am cancer surviver
Posted: 12/5/2007 11:32:06 PM | Re: 1985 testicular cancer, stage A, pure seminoma. My left testicle is a silicone prothesis. It is now hard as a marble. Yeah, my girlfriend booted me out of the apartment but it wasn't gonna last anyway. Actually I could forgive her throwing me out--- but not the cheating. But, well, after she kicked me out I really couldn't trust her . Anyway before we split for good, I paid her back for the cheating. I found it easier too forgive her after a little catch-up. I loved her because she was pretty. It's good that she showed her true character before we got married. Saved a lot of trouble and additional heartache. I not bitter though. It was passionate while it lasted. And I'm no angle myself. One guy told me once; this: when your single and dating you f--k them all. Otherwise you'll fall in love with a women just because she's pretty --- and that's the wrong reason to fall in love with a women.
That sounds wise. I don't screw around anyway. jessek456 | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/6/2007 12:59:56 AM | If I cared about a person enough to be with him, knowing that he is a cancer survivor wouldn't affect how I view my relationship with him in any way. Not the least bit! It is a total non-issue to me. And if he became ill again, I would not hesitate to be a member of his support team in any way I can.
On the other hand, I believe being upfront about any major illness you may have had is absolutely necessary to prevent letdown for either side if your date simply cannot envision him/herself in the caretaker role eventually. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/6/2007 12:17:34 PM |
Then what better way to show your love & support for them by being there for them when they need it the most.
Yes, I agree with this entirely. Having lost a spouse to liver cancer, I have a great deal of empathy for those who are victimized by it. It wasn't easy, but an honor, to be able to be there for, and take care of him. That is how it is when you love someone.
I don't believe survivors need to necessarily put that in their profiles, but within a reasonable time, and if the relationship seems to be going anywhere, it would be good to tell the person they are dating about it.  | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/6/2007 9:32:38 PM | I myself would date a cancer survivor. I mean, we all have to get with the program here. Some of us and maybe many of us didn't live this long without having some kind of health issue along the way.
I myself have a couple of things that are wrong but not enough that I can't continue to enjoy life and be with someone else. I think the key is being honest about it right from the beginning and if that scares a person off, well they were never meant to be.
My motto that I live is "Is it going to make a difference 5 years from now and is so, isn't it worth finding out". | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/6/2007 10:14:13 PM | Answer to question 1: Of course. No OR.
Answer to question 2: Of course.
The level intelligence of certain questions keeps amazing me. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 12/7/2007 1:37:39 AM | | The operative word is "survivor". If I really truly loved a woman, she having cancer would not be a problem. Even if she had a relapse, I think our bond would become stronger. I don't want to lose that wonderful woman. My mom was very sick. I was very close to her. Seeing her in pain everyday was hard. but it didn't make me push her away. She died. And it's a great loss. But you treasure the time spent together. I've never dated a cancer survivor or patient. But I can say that the disease does not affect their true personality and ability to love. I have a close married couple friends and the wife has continuous ovarian cysts. Some benign, others cancerous. All removed surgically and she goes on chemo. She had a hysterectomy, but the cysts or tumors keep coming back. But her marriage is rock solid. Her husband is a great guy and they have a wonderful daughter. Guys who leave or get scared off are selfish and immature. We all die. We all have a finite amount of time on this earth. Why can't we enjoy it together. For better or for worse. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 1/3/2008 5:00:38 AM | This is one of the better questions here.
Sure I would date a cancer survivor. I came very close to marrying a cancer survivor long ago, and to this day regret that we could not figure out the logistics of our lives so we could have been married.
In graduate school I had a wonderful relationship with a woman who had had Ewing's Sarcoma, a very dangerous form of bone cancer. Her leg had been amputated, and due to chemotherapy she had lost all of her teeth and had some hearing loss, but to me was no less beautiful and desirable for it. Her experience helped make her capable and strong. At the time it was likely but far from certain that she would remain cancer free. Almost 30 years later she is fine. We are still close, and not marrying her was the worst mistake of my life.
-Gray | |
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