| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:16:04 PM | I lost my oldest sister to cancer last year. My younger sister is fighting it now. Cancer can strike any one of us at any time, no matter how healthy we think we are.
My ex never could handle sickness. I learned this many years after being sick from an accident. He was never there, and would "wander".. but that is not me, and never will be.
Would I date a cancer survivor.. Certainly. My only problem would be that I would probably try to be a caregiver, as that is my profession 
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/4/2008 3:22:38 PM | | It's not the disease or having had a disease that defines a person. It's their outlook towards life. We're all "survivors" of some sort or another. The question is "do we want to live or to survive"? I'd like to date a "Liver and Lover of life". Period, end of story. BTW - we all have cancer cells in us, it's a matter of whether they will become active and spread. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/4/2008 4:28:14 PM | "It's not the disease or having had a disease that defines a person".
It may not define a person, but it oftentimes definitely puts a dent in how that person can live his or her life compared to how they did "pre-illness." And if a person suffers major losses because of an illness, whether it be financial or physical, it is going to affect them, if they're human. I don't do half the things I used to enjoy and be passionate about, because what used to be my disposable income now all goes towards medical bills (I am a cancer patient and yes I have insurance). Also because of physical limitations. If I do mention that my limited life is due to illness, it is to explain the reason, not for pity. Personally, I'd rather be known as ill than boring. 
"Do I want to live or to survive? I survive from paycheck to paycheck. I'd like to see the next person who tells someone suffering from a major medical problem to "live life to the fullest" to try to do it themselves when they can't afford to leave their apartment except to go to work, the doctor, grocery store, hospital.
I don't mention my situation in my profile, but do bring it up after a couple of emails, before meeting. Usually there is no meeting, because as soon as I mention health issues, even in a general sense, "POOF", he's gone.
Many people are OK with dating people with chronic illnesses as long as the health issues are hidden as thoroughly as possible. Never speak of it, oh no -- as if it were something to be ashamed of! Lie, if you have to, but don't admit that you can't do what you'd like to do! Just pretend you don't like it, or something! Cancer patients and others with chronic illnesses do the best they can, just like anyone else. But we're not all supermen and superwomen. To those who expect us to pretend that our disease in no way affects our life just so the "healthy" people can feel better about it.... GET REAL | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/4/2008 9:09:18 PM | I will only answer to your thread question ... "Would you date a cancer survivor"?
In a heartbeat, yes! | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/5/2008 11:57:18 AM | Three years ago, I would have said, "No Way would I ever date a cancer survivor!"
And then my wife was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and after a two year battle, she did not survive.
But the experience changed my life and I now know so many cancer survivors. I would go out and date and have a relationship with all of those women that I now know, (if I could), because of the zest for life they have and the total enjoyment of every day on this earth they are given.
Cancer survivors are the angels amongst us, God's will that the rest of us look at life so optimistically.
Regards, Bob-O-Link | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/6/2008 7:45:41 AM |
Cancer survivors are the angels amongst us, God's will that the rest of us look at life so optimistically
What a refreshing view point. Thank you sir for sharing that. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/6/2008 9:22:18 AM | That was beautiful! 
Date all of them...how about just one at a time?
Do you have a 4-wheel drive vehicle...Snow Day!!! | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/6/2008 8:20:18 PM | Well it looks like I may be becoming a survivor of this sort myself. No one has said the "cancer" word but the tests begin Friday. My parents don't know because I don't want to worry them. My children don't know either except for my oldest son--I'm figuring I'll tell them when there's either nothing to tell or something I'll need to tell.
I'm not writing this for sympathy. I do like reading all of your responses though. The one thing that scares me worse than anything else is not having someone to lean on--you can make it when things are going fine, but there are times, when having someone with you makes such a wonderful difference.
I'll let you fine folks know how it goes. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/9/2008 1:21:46 PM | I wish you the very best, sweetluv. Having been close to a cancer surviver for nearly 30 years, I have experienced second-hand what it means to maintain relationships with those who are close to you. Fair weather friends sometimes fade away when the going gets rough, but you probably also have strong and true friends who will be there for you for the duration.
Good luck to you. Thanks for having the confidence to tell us, and keep us posted.
-Gray | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/9/2008 1:37:36 PM | Cancer survivor yes - someone with a contagious life threatening condition no.
Depressed angry cancer survivor with emotional issues who take them out on you no.
I'd prefer to date the person rather than the disease. I'd also date someone with a leg in plaster. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/9/2008 2:19:30 PM | Well, I hope if I do get cancer I survive it!..........so for sure, I would date a cancer survivor............ He would still have to meet all my other requirements though..  | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/11/2008 2:11:05 PM | I got a call today while at work saying that my nodule appears to be benign--it didn't respond to dyes like a bad boy cancer would and for that I am grateful . . . very grateful.
Know that there's a man on this site though that has been sending me emails since my first post on this thread. He is going through 2 days of tests right now and needs everyone's prayers. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 2/12/2008 3:55:39 AM | | The cancer would be secondary to me, it is the person that counts...I would have no qualms about dating anyone, who is struggling with the mentioned...and God bless, all who are... | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 3/31/2008 9:02:14 PM | | YES I would definetely. It shouldnt rule the possibility of having a potential relationship too. I would invest as much time and effort to make that relationship work either you are having an illness or not. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:23:09 PM | Hi Op,first of all a very good thread.
I dont have to think for a second about your question,of course i would and would find it very hard to accept anyone could use an illness as an excuse not to date someone.
If a person had been sick or was sick now it would make absolutely no difference at all to me.Surely if you care about someone you give them all the love,support and help they need to fight and overcome the illness and if the worst comes to the worst and they are losing the battle you give them even more love and support.
Being honest about illnesses,past or present,has to be told,maybe not straight away but over the course of time when you feel it appropriate but anyone shallow enough to let this affect your thinking about someone is the lowest of the low and selfish beyond belief.If you seriously care about someone you will do everything possible to help however long it takes and whatever the consequences.I hope everyone feels the same. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 4/1/2008 2:43:14 PM | | Of course you should....why should an illness stop a relationship. Surely you shuld be optomistic and look at the glass half full. Many people lead happy lives after a cancer episode...thank goodness......please dont be shallow and treat this prospect as you would any other | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 4/1/2008 3:03:02 PM | I realize that this is an old post, but I feel in need to give my opinion. Being a cancer survivor myself, I know how difficult it is to meet someone, whether it be on this sight or any other sight, or just out in public for that matter. (I am sure healthy people can also attest to that statement!)
People tend to shun you.....read your profile and move on.....Or if I send a message to a gentleman showing interest, they are "sometimes" and "sometimes not" so polite and in a round-a-bout way saying they are not interested.
It is truly difficult enough having to pick oneself up after going through the cancer regime, but it is also very disheartening to be constantly rejected as well...
Just because we have had cancer AND HAVE SURVIVED, we too are people who need the stimulation, the exhilarating feeling of the chase, the closeness, knowing someone out there is still interested.......
I am not looking for pity or for anyone to feel guilty or sorry for me, as I am just stating my opinion. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 9/4/2008 10:54:13 PM | I think that it's a very personal decision, whether or not to disclose an illness (or previous illness.)
For me, I probably wouldn't have been so forthcoming when I was "just a survivor," but now that I have metastatic disease, I let everyone know right away (even have it on my profile.) I don't want to waste anyone's time, nor do I want my time wasted, so it's out there in black and white, to be interpreted as it will be. ;) | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 9/26/2008 10:43:29 AM | | First of all,I like the name breath,because I appreciate and value every breath given to me since my cancer surgery. I am in remission and go for bi-yearly checkups. My only inhibition is that my cancer has left me incontinent,which leaves me a bit self-conscious about meeting someone and telling them about my situation. I posted a reply a few weeks ago asking for advice on when I should let a person I have made contact with know that I am a cancer survivor. I am a pretty confident individual with a great attitude (which has gotten me through this ordeal to the present), but, I am also sensitive and somewhat shy at times, and rejection because of an illness would hurt a bit.Please give me your opinion on when and how I should tell someone I meet about my ordeal. Thanks and stay healthy. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 9/26/2008 11:00:18 AM | | I dated a man who told me that he had leukemia on our third date.He lived exactly one year. I was with him through the illness, the bone marrow transplant, the whole nine yards. He was by far the greatest man I have ever known. I learned from him what courage is. Turns out his ex wife left him when he was diagnosed. He was a wonderful person and I wouldn't miss the chance to know him for anything. People don't choose to become ill and at that point in their lives they need love and support more than ever. I can't say the losing him wasn't hard but getting to be with him for that year was very much worth it.And yes he was sick for the entire year..sometimes too sick to get out of bed..so we cuddled and watched tv. He was the sweetest man I have ever met and also the most romantic.All I know is that he changed my life and I still carry him in my heart every day. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 9/26/2008 11:05:12 AM | I have not dated any cancer survivors but several of my friends and aquaintances have been survivors. I think these people have a very balanced perspective on life and I have learned a lot from them.
If someone I was dating mention that to me I do not think it impact the relationship negatively at all. If someone hid it from me like they were ashamed of it or something like that, I think we would need to have a long talk about it. I would be interested to know why they were not secure enough to tell me about it sooner.
don | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 10/25/2008 11:52:46 AM | | After retiring in January,2006,I was ready to set my sights on making a future with the significant other that I had been with for the past 13 years. Suddenly, and without any warning,I was diagnosed with Bladder and prostate cancer in July, 2006. My significant other stuck by me through my surgery,chemotherapy,but,unfortunately in between my surgery in Feb,2007, I lost my dear mom in Dec,2006,and while recuperating from surgery, my significant other died in May, 2007 from a liver ailment. It is now Oct,2008, and my 62nd birthday is wed Oct 29th. I have been in remission for nearly 2 years now, and go for regular testing and followups. I joined Plenty of Fish in Sept,2008, and as I read some of the profiles, I wonder if there are any ladies who would date a cancer survivor, and accept me even though I have certain limitations. I think I posted a decent profile, honest and completely truthful, for that is the way I believe we should be, and how I was raised to approach people. I would date a cancer survivor,even though the word "Cancer" still makes me cringe. I am looking for an honest review of my profile. Can you give it a glance and tell me what you think.. Yes,it is truly difficult to pick yourself up after going through the cancer regimen,but, I have to believe that there are a few compassionate people still left in this world. Wishing you all the best. | |
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| Would you date a cancer survivor
Posted: 10/28/2008 6:46:10 AM | I lived with a cancer survivor who lost her leg to bone cancer. It was a wonderful relationship, and I only wish that we had figured out how to navigate the shoals of a long distance relationship and married each other.
I would never rule out a relationship with a cancer survivor. | |
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