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| | child support in bcPage 2 of 7 (1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7) | i didn't say that $250 was a lavish lifestyle but $1000 / month certainly is in my books in addition to what u earn.
If u generate more money from ur support payments above what u bring home biweekly then to me that's considered a lavish lifestyle.
$100o for child support for one kid god, u gotta be rich. | |
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dook
| | Joined: 12/8/2005
Msg: 27 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 1:35:20 AM | Walts, I am paying as per the schedule. I accept this as what the law says I should pay.
I was able to keep the house which had gone up in value over 100% for a pittance. She knew if I lost the house, things would be very different. I got her out of student loan debt, and put myself about as far into the hole as I could to keep the house. Soon my cheque will be mine again, but my son's schooling will start soon, and I am paying 80% of that.
My buds ex collects child support for two kids, has a few nice vehicles, travels, and vacations between taking him back to court, and doesnt have a job besides her grow op. Nice place to bring up kids while you disparage their father daily. They are nice kids, but pretty messed up!
She got married young, had one right away, took off to her Ma's back east with their son, came back a few years later, had a daughter, took off again, and now hates the fact that he has met someone else who keeps him relatively happy. So she makes his life as miserable as she can with a legal aid lawyer. Why not? It's free!
I got off easy in comparison.
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 2:26:36 AM | You know I waited yrs to receive a child support payment, but in the meantime... not once was daycare paid for instead of, not once was soccer paid for instead of, a new pair of shoes, or part of the tutaoring which cost me 3000.oo per yr or even school clothes. It took FMEP 3.5 yrs to solidify a relationship with him. I hear what is said. I had a friend yrs ago that used her children " pay or don't see them" it backfired...they don"t have a relationship with their dads. If a person can work it out all the better. It's a hard thing,
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 7:43:18 AM | as far as i know my support stops when my boys turn 18 and nothing after that since we were never married and well FMEP had to go after him ... he has never seen his boys and i get $300.00 a month for the two of them ...
yes i could go for more but a few years back he didnt pay me for a year and it was very very tight ... since that happened i never expect his check anymore if it shows up it shows up .. a bonus i would say ... he was in arrears of $3000 ... but i got through it and i never say negative thing about him i dont have to ... my boys are not stupid at 13 they have seen it all for themselves | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 7:45:02 AM |
So she makes his life as miserable as she can with a legal aid lawyer. Why not? It's free!
they do if they do not want to work ,,and why should that be free? most of them would just walk if they had to pay and try to win in court ,,legal aid should be scrapped and has no place being involved in the destruction on men in court in the name of justice ,,this stinks ..
if a man can support a home with a dead beat lazy unemployed wife who wants out ,,then he should be free to get rid of her without going to court and getting screwed over by the system and legal aid footing her bill ..and the children could stay in there beautiful home with the responsible parent ..who wouldn't need any help from the free loader who was only a burden ..and that would ensure justice and whats best for the family and children..legal aid should stop giving women a free ride at the cost of a child's inheritance and safe home .. | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:27:56 AM | keep talking guys........just really is showing how much 'the kids' mean. Why not do a percentage of what it costs to run that home with the extra bedrooms, food, hydro , clothing etc....divided by number of occupants?
If two of those occupants are 'your children' you'll have your 'cost' or support amount. All other expenses such as sports etc are 50/50
As for the 'free loader lazy people sitting at home'....I believe the current 'fee' for daycare is around $50/child per day
I do not have 'child support', refused it actually because of all the stigma and accountability (read power and complaints from the ex)
I 'ensured' I could look after my own, via education and career | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:31:48 AM | $1000 for child support for one kid god, u gotta be rich.
No kidding! Either that, or the ex had a great lawyer.
If u generate more money from ur support payments above what u bring home biweekly then to me that's considered a lavish lifestyle.
So you are saying if the custodial parent is bringing home $750 dollars every 2 weeks to raise 2 kids, $800 a month extra would be considered a lavish lifestyle? | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:34:17 AM | keep talking guys........just really is showing how much 'the kids' mean. Why not do a percentage of what it costs to run that home with the extra bedrooms, food, hydro , clothing etc....divided by number of occupants?
what a joke ...its far cheaper once the unemployed dead beat lazy free loader is out the door and you don't have to pay there way ..but thats to easy to figure out ..welfair and the womens movement would never allow such an injustice like ..makeing a women accountable to support herself as long as there is a working man they can force to pay ..all they have to do is take away his children .with the help of legal aid most of the time ...been doing it for years ..and they do it regularly ,,its the accepted way of life for a lot of women who would otherwise just be on welfare ..children pay her way now..with there inheritance ..there are very few women who dont count on this cash grab automaticly after the brake up ..a man is forced into court to obtain any access of his family ,,the women is automaticly granted sole custody ,,there are no automatic rights for a father except paying ..men are only a sorce of revinue..slavery ..and there children become the womens pension plan | |
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Pucks
| | Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 34 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:37:31 AM | If your child support issues go to court and dealth with via thru lawyers, you could be paying for long time. There is no regulations if you can co parent and get along with the other parent in this regard. The courts actually prefer parents to work out their own situations. That being said, it is not too common for most to "agree" on such terms, which is why their is the child support guidelines in each Canadian province and why some are "ordered" to pay. It is unfortunate that so many scrap over such issues.
Any man can make a baby, a real one provides and takes care of them. | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:42:33 AM | ..making a women accountable to support herself as long as there is a working man they can force to pay
That's funny! I think the opposite is more the norm.
I have found in my associations with single mothers that most work outside the home to support their children. | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 8:53:07 AM | Been involved with Father's Rights Groups for Years now, and it's threads like this one that truly make the bile rise.
I am an advocate of Shared Parenting. 50/50, all the way, sometimes this is not a viable option, but more often than not, it is. In essence what this would do is erase child support, and at the same time provide children with access to both parents equally. (I can hear the Lawyers crying from here, as well as those moms that use kids for control)
I read in this thread so many moms crying "what about the kids!!!, it's all about the kids!!!", and yes, when it comes down to it, it is all about the kids. Why then, are the kids limited in their exposure to their father?, why then, does the man have his children torn from his arms?, then told he can see them twice a month, O, and remember your on the hook till their 18 for child support. Women say they have to maintain a house for the kids, guess what?, so does the Father. He has to live in a place beyond what he may need in order for his kids to have their own bedrooms, I mean really, how many dads make their children sleep on the floor in the living room?, not only that but he incurs expenses beyond what child support reflects, where's the sympathy for him?...
Poor single moms my ass, you chose to pop out a kid with the same man you slam and keep from your children, if anyone is the victim here, it is the father, and the kids. It is the Father who pays out his ass in court fighting to be a part of his kids life, only to be shot down because mom wants to stick it to him, make him suffer, "hell hath no fury like a woman scorned", all to true in way to many cases I have had the dis-pleasure to bare witness.
Mom stole my Daughter away two years ago and fled the country to Florida, the only way anything will happen to her is if she comes across the border, yet if I fail to pay support I could be thrown in jail, lose my license, passport..etc...sounds fair huh?. The belief the judicial system is fair is quite simply ridiculous.
Child support is based on the Father's income, and has nothing to do with what mom makes (unless he is claiming hardship due to loss of job, injury etc). Period, and to answer the op's question, it depends on what the Judge says, not FMEP, they are nothing more than a collection agency, and should be treated as such. You have the right after the age of majority to ensure the money does not reach moms hand, do so, but make sure the child provides proof the he/she is attending school on a daily basis, because this is the only circumstance you would be required to pay beyond 18.
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:18:58 AM |
The courts actually prefer parents to work out their own situations
thats a joke ..the legal aid lawyers love court and thats exactly where they drag the typical father with pages and pages of crap ,,,,until they run out of money and are forced to abandon the fight to keep there children in there lives ..the support payments are considered in arears as soon as she grabs the children and steps out the door ..even if she isnt awarded interm custody ...a man can easily spend 25,000 just asking for fairness or 50-50 custody .the children are robbed of the fathers assets because the lawyers and courts liquidate everything for the women . | |
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Pucks
| | Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 39 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:23:59 AM | ^^^i said the court, (judges ect) not lawyers...READ. Of course the lawyers love the child support cases. It is more billing for them and more money in the lawyers pockets.
My point (since you missed it) was if you can co operate with your co parent on child support issues, there is no need for court. And yes the courts do prefer that parents deal with their own issues. The courts are their for the people who do not agree and or do not get along. If you agree, their no need for court...pretty simple concept, but apparently not to some. | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:40:02 AM | Pucks...
Sorry to be the one to burst your bubble but you are so off base it borders on the ridiculous.
If not for the Judges laughable decisions there would be no use for the vermin lawyers. Judges advocate with finality the biased nature of our courts, the lawyers play a part, but, in the end it is the Judge, and thereby the Courts, that provide the continuation of a completely biased and archaic system.
One hand feeds the other, and it is not the Lawyers that make law, it is the Politician and his hand picked Judge...To even believe the courts want you to settle is absurd, why then the bias?...
I have sat in court supporting Father's hundreds of times, and I have seen it...you?
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Pucks
| | Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 41 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:44:34 AM | you going into other issues.
the thread issue was child support. Sounds to me like your discussing access. While they are related its a whole nother can of worms.
"why then the bias"
it is far better today then it was a decade ago when it comes to men being awarding custody. Many men are getting joint custody. Not just myself, i know several guys who have joint care. This is off topic though.
Bottom line, if you can get along with the ex, where is your bias? | |
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cody11
| | Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 42 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 9:51:36 AM | Not all judges are asses and not all judges want you to battle it out. We had a female judge that was so polite and understanding to both of us I almost asked her out on a date! But then again this was family court…….the judges seem to have a heart.
On the flip side when we were in court for the battle of who gets what I was amazed at how the judges and lawyers just change. When we looked at the cost of the big picture we turned to the judge and asked if we could have an out of court advocate. It sure saved money and time.
I feel sorry for those that drag it to court out of spite……..no one wins but the lawyers. | |
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Pucks
| | Joined: 10/14/2006
Msg: 43 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:00:07 AM | "not all judges are asses and not all judges want you to battle it out"
exactly...^^^another prime example.
the misconception that dads do not have rights in todays world is bs. Assuming dad is willing and capable of being a good parent, dad has the same rights as mom do.
In my own situation, Canada customs and Revenue agency also awarded me joint child care benefit payments. (all i had to do was prove that i was involved in my daughters care and upbringing.)
There is also mediation is BC and most provinces thru the respective provincial governments. It is free and a hell of a lot better than scrapping thru lawyers and paying 200 bucks an hour. Wouldnt that money be spent spent on the child(ren) invloved, instead of going towards paying your lawyers BMW lease? | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:10:09 AM | | PUCKS ,, if the women wants to take the children the man can not avoid supreme court ..its impossible to mediate with someone who is using a legal aid lawyer and is setting court dates ..you are in another zone ..you only got what you got because she let you have it ..you didn't win anything and she didn't fight you ..she let you have what you asked for.. | |
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cody11
| | Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 45 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:21:51 AM |
the misconception that dads do not have rights in todays world is bs. Assuming dad is willing and capable of being a good parent, dad has the same rights as mom do
You hit the nail on the head with that pucks! Dads have just as much rights as the moms.
My ex and I have joint everything…….why is this and was it hard? Not at all! The lawyers and the judge saw that we were stable people that wanted to work things out as the whole ordeal was about our child and that’s why they awarded us what we asked for.
Letting the system tell you what you get is such a wrong thing……I feel sorry for those that let the system run their lives.
There is also mediation is BC and most provinces thru the respective provincial governments. It is free and a hell of a lot better than scrapping thru lawyers and paying 200 bucks an hour. Wouldnt that money be spent spent on the child(ren) invloved, instead of going towards paying your lawyers BMW lease?
Very well said!
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cody11
| | Joined: 10/7/2007
Msg: 46 | |
| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:26:01 AM |
PUCKS ,, if the women wants to take the children the man can not avoid supreme court ..its impossible to mediate with someone who is using a legal aid lawyer and is setting court dates ..
If the man can walk in to court and prove that he’s an up standing citizen that has a job and is stable then there is no fight period! The judge will listen to both sides and do what’s in the best interest of the child. This mis-conception that the mother gets everything her way is old…….that was in the old days, not anymore.
There are fathers that love their children so why can’t they have rights? | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:35:05 AM | My ex and I went to mediation, found out our options, agreed to them privately and had a judge make them stick. No lawyers. Since I agreed to joint custody with my residence as her primary, it would be illegal for me to remove her from the province or country without her father's permission.
We waited and waited behind other couples doing their mudslinging in family court and I remember finally getting our turn quite well. The judge asked us about our specifics, asked if we each agreed... And that was that. It took about 3 minutes.
When he dismissed us he said "It's a rare pleasure to have two people come before me that have their act together. Congratulations both of you, your daughter will be better off for it."
I'm actually pretty proud of how we handled it and 17 years later we can still be at family functions together, his girlfriend likes me, my parents buy him his traditional chocolates for Christmas and the aging effects of that kind of stress in our lives has been a minimum.
It hasn't ALWAYS been perfect, and we've had our moments, but the human we both raised is awesome and was always THE priority.
Once you have a kid with someone, you're stuck with that parent for life, like it or not.
I can't imagine choosing to make the relationship antagonistic. | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:46:59 AM |
the misconception that dads do not have the same rights in todays world is bs. Assuming dad is willing and capable of being a good parent, dad has the same rights as mom do.
Wow. That is one of the most completely ridiculous things I have ever read here in the Forums. So what your saying is that the dads getting screwed in Canada and the States are not willing to be decent parents?. Need to take the rose colored glasses off and quite using your own situation as the crutch by which you come by your information, because again, you are so off base you are well passed the ridiculous, bordering now upon the ignorant.
If you did not have an amicable separation I guarantee you would be singing a different tune, and the thought that because "it happened to me, so it should be like that for everyone", is pathetic, to say the least...If she did not want it, you would be made to fight for it, and what you are doing is discounting the many thousands of men being taken for a ride because of your own personal experience.
I find it odd how those that have not been there seem to think there is nothing wrong with today's Judicial System. As I have said I have sat in court numerous times hearing trumped up allegations and seen first hand the crippling affects it has on both Fathers as well as the children involved, but you had it easy, so everyone should right?, must be the people involved, not the system itself.
You hit the nail on the head with that pucks!!, Dads have the same rights as the moms.
Then why the outcry from Men's Groups?, because we have nothing better to do with our time?. Once again you let personal experience outweigh what is truly happening in our courts, this all tells me that ignorance truly is bliss.
Because no matter what you want people to believe, you are both dead wrong, and I have little doubt that until it happens to you or someone you care about you will both continue to live in your fairytale land of make believe, either that or do some research before you embarrass yourselves again.
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 10:51:56 AM | love the somewhat heated debate (emotions) and good info from both sides
Found 15 yrs ago that indeed lawyers seem to be drawn to the money (and still do). Their victims are easy targets, us, splitting couples, each with our own pains and disappointments and it may only take one to start to get the other going......if only to defend
Yup, the children get lost in the battle more often than not.
From what I saw most of the judges are nauseated by the dirty laundry, who wouldn't be? LOL
He did...she did....stuff. So the natural solution is giving every one a little bit, JOINED CUSTODY. Alls looks good, but I found the kids suffer and they are somewhat confused. Thanks to their resilience they do survive it....and alas often the battle of the parents is continued playing the kids...what did mom/dad do stuff...he/she is bad.... no you can't take them for holidays or a weekend....
Children need stability and that includes the custodial parent providing a life style at least close to the one before the split. The non-custodial parent obviously must make amends to support that.
Wasn't there a thing about caretaker of the home being entitled to pay for work and time rendered???? So by all means a custodial parent spends way more time doing things for the children, while the other may pursue a career etc...
No matter, male of female you don't support your kids and play out vengeance against the person YOU loved and slept with then YOU are of character beyond words...
Keep your personal stuff out of the kids life!!!! | |
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| child support in bc
Posted: 11/27/2007 11:11:44 AM | To true mtn1 the adults are worse than the kids who should be doing what kids do and watch their parents fight and argue.CL | |
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y'all and best of luck