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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:05:43 PM | Bzzzzt, try again beatles and bob - the sex issue has never been the problem for me. I never equate someone paying for me for a returned sexual favour.
I did want a reaction from the question - that's why I asked.
I think it's more the issue of looking like a gold digger. I know I'm not, but after reading these forums where it seems that generosity and in the moment fun is out the window, it gives me pause. I have some wonderful male friends who often treat me and I never have a problem accepting with them. Perhaps people need to learn not to rely so much on first impressions? Especially if they are not strong?
But what I have noticed is that the men who do pay out of genuine generosity and kindness don't make you feel that you are a gold digger or a "whore".
I had one man pay for my meal and then when I wasn't interested after the fact (because he lied in his profile) accused me of being a gold digger! I did send him some choice words.
The thing is I can still have fun if the date is going well and it won't matter a twit if he pays or we go dutch. But the men who actually insist or outright pay are few and far between, at least in my age range. | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 3:22:39 PM | Dude! The ORIGINIAL date for this entire thread was last YEAR.
More than likely the damn poster has already had the date, had the girl, had a baby, and a divorce and is BACK on POF looking for suspect number 2 for his next baby. Move on.
Just say "NO!" to recycling threads and topics! | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:06:45 PM |
So.....if I often ask for separate cheques, what does that make me if I'm not a feminist?
The exact words I used were "most apt to". Asking for separate checks doesn't automatically make you a feminist but it does make you a suspect lol.
I GET the concept of establishing that one is not a gold digger...but I for one do not care to enter into an ongoing involvement with a man who is that damaged and fearful.
The other situation outside of hyperindependence or militant feminism is the woman who had had it up to HERE with men who think her ass is for sale, and that the price is dinner. I guess I could understand that, but I would wonder why she seemed to keep having that same experience.
Cindy O | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:25:31 PM | | Sorry jelnet, but you sound cheap. If you ask her out on a date, you pay. Period and the end. | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:40:27 PM | Not been on many date eh ?
If the lady offers to contribute .. ask if she is sure.. if she confirms let her share.
Hope you are ready for the more complicated choices to come ..... :) | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 4:59:33 PM |
As far as dating being fun, it is until you get out of college. Then it's harder to meet people and, also, people over the age of 25 really AREN'T dating for fun anymore. They're usually sizing someone up as a mate, whether they intend to or not. In fact, a country singer/songwriter friend of mine, Johanna Montana, wrote a pretty good song called "She Don't Date for Fun Anymore," that discusses this point.
Dude, if you don't enjoy dating, don't do it! As for me, when I accept a date, I do my best to enjoy it. I may talk about the person in a thread sarcastically the next day, exaggerate their downfalls, etc., but ya know what, I only did a doggy bag on one date.
I maybe looking for a ltr, but mate, no way, I already mated 3 times... well, had 3 kids anyway.
I am not sure how many full page posts you have on this particular thread, but give it a rest, imo. Start a blog. You don't need to respond to everyone that posts on this thread. Not that you are being offensive, I just know that if I want to read comments, I keep seeing almost full pages from you with all this monologue. I read enough books.
Sorry you don't enjoy your dates, I DO. | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 5:24:23 PM | but I for one do not care to enter into an ongoing involvement with a man who is that damaged and fearful.
Yeah, that's exactly why I like a guy who is always going on about how much money he has or the flip side where he complains about how little he has. lol.
Beatles, I wholeheartedly agree that we are screwed up and I do say that alot in forums and that the factors contributing to that "screw up" are the problem and let's just move on and acknowledge the problem and not let it rule our lives. Acknowledging your emotions and issues, I believe is the step to better understanding yourself (but that's another topic).
I've never not allowed a man to open a door for me - what kind of business is that?! I grew up in a house where my brothers and father treated me and women very well. Heck, my brother even cleans the snow off my car sometimes! So I KNOW that not all men are doing favours for booty.
Look, if I'd drop $10 to bring a cake over to a friend's house for no reason, what's the end of the world about my treating you to dinner? It doesn't have to be at the Four Seasons. And besides, if there's no chemistry, we just don't go out anymore. Big deal.
I think the same way. $20 here or there means little in the scheme of things, but alot of people don't seem to get that eventually (or tomorrow) they are going to go bye bye or not be able to do some things anymore. (but again that's another topic!)
Maybe I'm over-reacting to the peyote buttons I just took
Not touching that one!! | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 6:06:47 PM |
Maybe I'm over-reacting to the peyote buttons I just took
Not touching that one!!
Me either. lol... | |
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| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 7:04:10 PM | Wild heart, I think the peyote was in the water, and all the men under 40 drank it. Cindy gets it, justem gets it, you seem to get it, what the he11 happened to the others? I truly am beginning to believe the guys on here are part of some science fiction movie "invasion of the brain snatchers"!!!!
I mean there must be 5,000 women sitting home thinking, "oh good he's asked me out to dinner, let me beat him out of some prime rib, nahahaha, maybe I'll nail him for a shrimp****ail too".
Maybe the grass these guys smoked was laced with SDL, they screwed up the LSD forumla!! No woman needs your dinner, they can get their own. They DO want the company of a good man, good conversation, a couple of laughs. If your reaaal good at that, she might even let you take her dancing later. Now before everyone breaks out in a sweat. Think about it. She spent I don't know how much on shoes, dress, makeup and perfume. How much time did it take her to purchase and apply all this, to look sooooo good just for you dummy?
Now all you have to do to enjoy this exotic creature, hold her while you dance, probably crushing a couple of toes once or twice, is keep your foot out of your mouth!! Talk about her, what she's interested in, what she likes, where she thinks her life will lead her, the last books she read.
As for users, we all get lemons once in a while, make the best out of it. If she starts to spend like Trump, end it early, main course and home. But if you did your homework, listened carefully to what she said you won't get fooled.
Bob | |
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MizQ
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Joined: 6/26/2008
Msg: 904 | |
| Dinner Date - Who Pays?
Posted: 9/11/2008 7:13:18 PM | So, Bob, where are you taking me out to and can I order desert?  | |
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