| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 10:53:13 AM | I read where some of you are 'getting' what I'm saying and otheres aren't. Thanks to the ones who are understanding where I'm coming from and to the others I would like to think that you could read the post in a different perspective.
Oh yea, there have been plenty of mornings I've crawled out of bed, looked at the mirror and jumped, YIKES at whats looking back at me.
Still, I work on my looks, no plastic surgery or stuff like that and also once again I was reading the other Thread about with some people how it's all about looks. This is kind of a ThreadJack from that Thread.
Beauty comes from within and on the outside too. Kindness, Goodness, Thoughtfulness and just being plain old nice works wonders for me.
I've looked at all the photo's that have responded and I've not seen an ugly person, average, above average and some drop dead gorgeous men and women have replied.
Soooo, for the ones who want and like to pick apart my Thread (no pity from me because I pity the people who think they're ugly and they're not!) go for it...
I stand by all I write here. When another Thread can be brought to life because a person thinks their looks aren't up to par, well guess what, (and I'm saying this kindly), it works both ways.
Is there a Winner in relationships when we're to busy wondering if that guy or girl thinks we're to pretty or to ugly for them?
Do we settle?
Do we stay single because our ugliness or prettiness puts a sliding halt (meaning being afraid to take that first step because we've been slammed before?) to us wanting to really meet someone and we're to afraid of rejection because we've been rejected before?
I mean, where does it begin and where does it end with looks?
Belle~ | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 11:22:23 AM | | Maybe some of you "pretty woman should be lookin at us short fat guy's. Im sure one of us would be more than happy to date you. Like I tell some of my lady friends. Maybe your you need to lower the bar. Or better yet, some of you pretty ladies might want to REPLY to messages sent by the less blessed. Maybe you you won't be wondering why on a Saturday night your sittin home alone cuddling the pillow. Just sayin..... | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 11:24:55 AM | Is there some reason you have to put down his girlfriend by calling her ugly and not only call her ugly but write it like this UGLY. Wow someone is really full of something. Get over yourself already.Talk about mean .
trucks4 you men don't reply back to messages either. I have sent out many many messages only to not even receive back a no thank you. Even the ugly men don't want ugly women. So why would the pretty women want ugly men? | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 12:47:41 PM | Okay..I'm fairly new here but got sucked into this thread. So here's MY point of view and mine only. Just as we all look and act differently, we all will think differently. Hence, all the things, both good & bad that I've read thus far.
First of all, to the woman that 'started this whole thread'..Belle, I found your post to have some very humorous, dry wit and I did laugh. I don't think you were trying to be overly needy with the attention getting or asking for people to "Look at me, Look at me". I just didn't pick up that vibe at all from you. And you made some good points.
Also, I've been an amatuer model for 14 years and I gotta tell ya..I have very insecure moments and have quickly learned that in modeling, acting etc.(Yes, musicians too who have harems throwing themselves at them;) are some of the most insecure people I've ever been around. Most likely do to what buisness they're in. It can indeed be a 'plastic, unforgiving world'
I, myself have never cared to date a male model although most of them are gorgeous and need little to no help to look that way. They basically just wake up! Thats it.
I found only a few with good personalities however. Some never smiled or talked at all, some had egos bigger than cathedrals, yet others broke the 'cycle' and were some of the funniest, laid-back men I've conversed with.
I have dated beautiful men yes (well they were beautiful to me) and it was a DISASTER. From verbal abuse to physical abuse, a couple of these guys were just plain monsters and should be in prison. But when they get to be in their 60's (if another woman hasn't already releived them of their earthly tenure) they will look around their empty homes one day and wonder why they are alone.
Of course, this could happen to anyone, regardless of looks. If you're not a decent human being who can admit that they have tangible flaws but are good at heart, then that's the kind of man I would want to be with.
And being a model, I worry more and more about our young girls and women today.
Bulimia & Aneroexia are literally an epidemic in this country. Girls who think they're fat, unattractive, unpopular etc..even if what people see if completely different than what the mirror has always told them, may have these kinds of problems.
I think it's horrific and it's because it IS all about looks to them. Not about good grades, or a career or family.
I worry for my twin neices when they become teenagers. Its happening so often these days and it scares me. (And may I add here that in H.S. I was definitely NOT popular or pretty. I was a toothpick and the boys picked on me for that. I had very bad acne and my prominent Greek nose was often the brunt of jokes. I wanted SO badly to be the pretty blonde, tanned cheerleader who got the quaterback as a boyfriend and was Prom Queen. I just never looked like THAT and still don't. But now I have more appreciation for what I DO look like. I think that's merely just a maturity thing and getting older aspect)
I am one of the lucky ones ONLY in the fact that I am naturally slender and have always been. THAT being said..I saw a man's post a few threads back stating that "Ugly men don't really want ugly women either". I've also heard men who were overweight state the fact that a "Big woman is not attractive to them".
To this I say, How dare you? Who came up in the middle of the night and said YOU were flawless?
I never did like this double standard and have have heated arguments about it. I have 2 best friends who are not even close to being a size 3 and they are both beautiful on the outside as well as on the inside. I would HOPE that most men who come their way are certainly more attracted to them than some size 4 girl who is so self-conscious that she spends hours in front of a mirror trying to live up to the standards of perfection because she's been TOLD all her life that she is perfect; which can make for a very distressed person.
Besides, Define 'Ugly"..and then define "Beautiful".
If there were 100 of us in a room, I can gurantee that on a physical basis alone, we'd all most likely have different answers.
BUT if asked "What are you looking for in a mate?" The answers to this may be more similar because personality -wise..I think the MAJORITY of us want the same thing.
Humor, kindness, intellect, honesty etc.
Funny how the words "pretty' or 'goodlooking' probably would not be mentioned.
I don't want to save the world, but I DO despise judgemental people or people who are bullies. Then there are the ones who think we are 'beneath' them because we are either 'not pretty enough' or in ALOT of cases, not 'wealthy' enough. I would not grace these types of people with even a second glance. Neither should anyone else.
Even though we all have preferences as far as what we are physically attracted to (and there's not a damn thing wrong with that) in the end, we want to grow old and 'imperfect' with someone who is just as 'imperfect as we are'.
After reading through this thread I must say "Kudos" to most of you, women and men alike. Because you've proven that people here are not only very clever and witty, but deeply intellectual, smart and are wonderfully expressive in their writing. There are some great people on POF and I do wish all of you the best of luck no matter what. We all deserve it now don't we?
Thanks for letting me add to this topic.
redhed_3000 | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 1:05:20 PM |
some of you pretty ladies might want to REPLY to messages sent by the less blessed.
Too true, but you can remove the word 'pretty' and it's still just as true! | |
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lou246
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Joined: 10/15/2007
Msg: 81 | |
| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 2:16:59 PM | Hi Belle, I don't think you should beat yourself up about this guy, he sounds manipulative and my theory is that his other girlfriend was just a doormat and probably let him do other seedy things that you wouldn't like him to..and she accepted he was cheating...enough said!
I also don't think you should let your experience with him shadow your view of every fella you're likely to meet and also, don't feel judged by anyone, there isn't a person out there who hasn't been stung at some point in their lives, me too chick !
Please don't give up Belle !
Be happy with yourself.. after all he will never have a lady like you again ...and... you will never be ugly!!
luv n hugs lou | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 3:59:03 PM | Thank god I'm poor and fat and ugly, so I don't have to "worry" about all the things that rich, thin , beautiful people do.
PS--I believe the "hott gals get overlooked theory" to be bunk. | |
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Who.Me
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Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 84 | |
| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 4:20:13 PM | Belle -
I actually cried while reading your post...because it is soooo true and sounds a lot like what I've gone thru myself.
I'm a pretty women...and I've spent the majority of my life alone. My phone never rang off the hook for dates because Men always thought I was busy.
So my 20's came and went, my 30's came and went now I'm 45...am I going to see my 40's come and go and still be alone? I certainly hope not... | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:16:40 PM | | haha, to be honest, my ex couldn't take a "wow, you look great today" without responding "well i always look amazing, im like a model only better looking" or along those lines or "im so pretty" it just gets old and annoying, take the compliment, and shut up, don't brag on yourself, cause its UNATTRACTIVE there is my 2 cents at least | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 5:55:07 AM | Welll Know what i am vain. But i dont think of myself as any better then anyone else. And for people that do feel that they are is very sad.
I like to look good take alot of pride in my apperance, I do have some pics that i dont choose to show on here as im sick of people judin me on my looks. So now on the sweet and innocent pics stay..
Im sick of people saying to me you could get anyone, hmmmm not so true, on avarage most guys i have spoken too want that one and only thing. They see me and think im just a sex object.
A Sweet girl, wears her heart on the sleeve, spin her off a gooden and she will fall for it. Oh yes i have in the past this time i know the game, I dont like games but most are playing them.
HOW HARD IS IT TO FIND A DECENT GUY THATS WANTS A RELATIONSHIP, THAT DOESNT PLAY SILLY LITTLE GAMES WITH MY EMOTIONS & FEELINGS.
It bloody hurts. | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 7:12:54 AM |
I'm a pretty women...
^^^^LOL Not only is she pretty but she’s more than just one womAn----she’s pretty woMEN----more than just one pretty woman! Funny stuff but doesn’t one have to wonder if this is something that’s really happened “the majority of my life” could there be anything else causing this? Being pretty or at least thinking so is not the only reason anyone cannot find one good person.
I like to look good take alot of pride in my apperance,
This is a very interesting view on the whole appearance thing. I wonder how many of us automatically assume someone who self describes themselves as vain or at least very concerned doesn’t also feel superior to those who don’t? I’ve never really thought of it in this way so today I’ve learned something!
Taking pride in your appearance and going great lengths isn’t a problem as long as it’s not the ONLY thing you’re all about. If this becomes an obsession then its a problem for those around you who don’t place equal importance upon it. If it’s a way to supposedly help yourself overcome a self esteem issue its a problem. If its thought being attractive to many others makes up for a terrible personality or bad attitude then that too is a problem. The young woman who wrote this quote above seems to have a good grasp on herself which to my eye and mind only enhances her already great appearance.
I’ve known many pretty womEn who were about evenly split between being gently ignored and being constantly hit on just because of their appearance. The single thing that seemed to separate them was how outgoing they were on a daily basis. The more shy ones did seem to sit home alone on date night while the slightly gregarious ones were almost never home. Most every pretty womAn I’ve known was a great person under their beauty which is always a delight to discover. There’s probably nothing more disheartening than being dismissed for anything other than the person we are inside. Yeah we all need and want the special one to be irresistibly attractive---at least to us---but once the lights are out and/or we’ve become accustomed to them in the visual sense it’s their heart and soul we’re still drawn to----if we’re lucky anyway.
Those saying beauty is the one and only reason they’re not happily coupled with someone surely are missing something else about their personality. If great looks alone were a requirement to finding wonderful partners I’d still never have met, loved, made love or befriended anyone! After all, my photo is posted! LOL | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 7:35:38 AM | HAHAHAHA!
OP, where can I get a magic mirror? Listing "homebody" as an interest and they aren't beating a path to your door??? ARGH, the horror of it all!!! | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:03:38 AM | | Awww my heart bleeds for you....pretty people get away with murder, they can shag whenever they want, they can have their pick of partner. Never feel sorry for gorgeous people, feel sorry for those who have to struggle to find someone to love them, be it bec they are ugly or have a disability to name a few. | |
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Who.Me
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Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 91 | |
| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:41:39 AM |
^^^^LOL Not only is she pretty but she’s more than just one womAn----she’s pretty woMEN----more than just one pretty woman! Funny stuff but doesn’t one have to wonder if this is something that’s really happened “the majority of my life” could there be anything else causing this? Being pretty or at least thinking so is not the only reason anyone cannot find one good person.
JWA
If this was meant towards me...thanks for the compliment...
Let me explain a little further...
I was a single Mom when I was 22, so most of my 20's & 30's were spent raising my daughter. I rarely dated because Men thought I was taken. I felt so awkward about my looks... Along with that, I was unbelievably SHY!!!! Shy people are sometimes preceived as being ****y or unapproachable. The men that did take a chance to get to know me are the one's that found out what a great person I am.
Now in my 40's, I am no longer shy but so much has passed me by. It's difficult at this age to meet someone...where do you meet someone?? On-line dating has become my only option and it hasn't been a good one. | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 3:22:22 PM | Well to Playgirl it's a bit harder for us average guys to e-mail you. Yes we will even though for that slight glimmer of hope but it seems pointless because in the end you will most likely reject us. I admit I'm no super hunk and that's usually what you really pretty girls want. I'm preparing to be bashed for saying this but how often do you see beautiful women with guys who are on the majority considered unattractive? Not very often!
Another thing is you restrict your choices to the UK. I'd love to get to know a woman from another country. That could be very exciting!
Makes me kinda wish I lived there if I could meet a beautiful woman who is also sweet and thoughtful.
But on the majority it's hard to feel bad for the beautiful people because well everything seems to come so much easier for them. They may go through heartbreak but they turn around and there's dozens of guys waiting in line. I turn around there's specks of dust floating in the wind lol. Hey it's good to laugh at yourself and your imperfections!
Ty | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 3:29:44 PM |
how often do you see beautiful women with guys who are on the majority considered unattractive? Not very often!
How often you you see hot guys with unattractive women? Not very often either . You admit you are no super hunk but yet are chasing after the really pretty girls. Why would they want someone who looks wise are not on the same level as they are? If you are an average to below average guy then what is so wrong with average to below average women? | |
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| And no one is a judge.
Posted: 12/4/2007 3:38:20 PM | If everyone can take everyone for who they are then this would be a better world no one to judge and no one to hide.
You seem to live a life of mistakes and not repeating them twice.
Good for you. | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 3:45:03 PM | | oh yes us beautiful people do get so over looked.. so come on ladies dont be afraid to step up to the plate.. I look just brad pitt under this gorilla mask you in my picture... lol.. and i am ageing so gracefully too.. I am 44 and still look no older than 55.. lol wake up from dream op stop using that fun house mirror to put ur make up on in the morning..ur not being over looked because you are so beautiful in ur own mind... ur being over looked for the same reason I am.. we are butt ugly people who want to be with beautiful people...lol... and guess what we dont stand a chance in hell.. oh by the way good luck in search... lol | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 5:23:04 PM |
Let me explain a little further...
I was a single Mom when I was 22, so most of my 20's & 30's were spent raising my daughter. I rarely dated because Men thought I was taken. I felt so awkward about my looks... Along with that, I was unbelievably SHY!!!! Shy people are sometimes preceived as being ****y or unapproachable. The men that did take a chance to get to know me are the one's that found out what a great person I am.
Now in my 40's, I am no longer shy but so much has passed me by. It's difficult at this age to meet someone...where do you meet someone?? On-line dating has become my only option and it hasn't been a good one.
Ya know Ms Who.Me I’ve noticed other comments you've made in threads about your being attractive, etc etc so I get the impression you truly feel you are---and I’m NOT saying that isn’t so. I do wonder though is it really these good looks and nothing else keeping men away? Every reason you describe here—a kid in your 20’s & 30’s and shy as well---I’ve encountered throughtout my dating life and not once has any of those EVER affected my interest in a woman. Like the men you mention I discovered great women regardless their then-current situation or how they failed to see their best qualities. I’d be willing to bet those same women are actively dating now if not already involved with someone exclusively. I can’t know this for certain but I am sure they’re not lamenting that no men contact them-----they’d be initiating contacts all on their own.
If you’re finding your internet dating experiences not so good why is that? Not every man is unworthy or undesirable---or are they in your eyes? The profile you have posted is not at all friendly or inviting but it does scream the oft heard rant “I ain’t settling.......” which can be mistaken for being too particular and one who can never be satisfied. I don’t know you past this site but if you present yourself in real life the way my limited experience has seen looks are NOT an issue at all! I’ll keep the thought you’re a great person and have many, many wonderful traits and qualities---let those show more often maybe?
I’m a bit older than you, almost a generation in fact yet have no problem finding women for dating. For pretty women the internet is a great equalizer and expands your range of searches and thereby increasing your possible near-perfect matches. I’m NOT as pretty as you but that doesn’t seem to hurt me which takes us right back to the looks thing---is that REALLY a problem? I receive emails from women expressing interest as well so it’s not as though I have to do all the initial contacts. Naturally there are those who tell me my own profile is a turn off----right along with those saying they enjoyed my no nonsense approach. The point here is looks alone can not be the reasons you and I are having very different experiences online or in real life.
Now in my 40's, I am no longer shy but so much has passed me by. It's difficult at this age to meet someone...where do you meet someone?? On-line dating has become my only option and it hasn't been a good one.
Unfortunately this sounds like you’ve given up so why should a guy be interested in you? I’ll repeat I’m older and don’t have these sorts of feelings at all. I know I’m just as vital and alive as most anyone 30 years or more younger yet my age alone basically eliminates me from SOME womens consideration just because of that. I wish it were different since I see MANY women who I know would be a great mutual match but respecting their age preferences I don’t pester them. I also don’t think much of anything has passed me by----not as long as I’m able to reach out and grab the good things that come my way even at my advanced old age! LOL
I hope one day soon all this brightens up for you Who.Me! | |
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Who.Me
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Joined: 8/26/2007
Msg: 99 | |
| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/4/2007 5:56:47 PM | JWA...I have given up for now....that's why my profile reads the way it does. I even state in my profile that I do not want to date right now....
I have in the past contacted too many men to mention (before I changed my profile), I've dated many. Most men are looking for just sex...I'm not into casual sex. It's sad, but I thought by the time Men reached their 40's that maybe they were ready for a relationship...Damn was I wrong!!!
So, I'm over it...done with it...taking a break for a while... | |
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| Pretty people get overlooked too you know.
Posted: 12/5/2007 4:16:02 AM | Ray you wrote this...
"How often you you see hot guys with unattractive women? Not very often either . You admit you are no super hunk but yet are chasing after the really pretty girls. Why would they want someone who looks wise are not on the same level as they are? If you are an average to below average guy then what is so wrong with average to below average women?"
Yes I am and why not? You only live once! How would you know how they feel? No thy aren't all liekt hat because I know a few of the nciest women around whoa re all pretty and attractive but their insides are just as nice!
Because I don't feel like settling when I'm not physically attarcted to certain people. I'm tired of being knocked for my preferences lol.
Ty | |
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