| How do u stop loving your ex?
Posted: 12/29/2007 6:16:50 AM | Vickity
You made it through the holidays girl....hang in there!
I just wanted to let you know, there are alot of wonderful people on here. In my short time I have met "plenty" of great friends, male and female. My advise to you is get out to the meet n greets if you can, gravitate towards the positive and open your heart to the experience with no expectations. You might be surprised.
Sending you my very best wishes
Have a great New Year. The best is yet to come!
Saucy | |
|
| How do u stop loving your ex?
Posted: 12/29/2007 7:53:35 AM | vickity, I can empathize with your situation... our mate selection process is based on our childhood.. subconsciously we recreate relationships that will cause old wounds to resurface in order to heal them.. by choosing someone with the traits we've stripped away from our own being.. that is why we feel whole at the beginning of a relationship.. the initial euphoria is caused by feeling complete.. "finding the rest of your soul" if you will.. I believe creating a relationship with someone who will become emotionally unavailable, abusive, supportive, loving or whatever else is by choice and provides insight in to our own self .. each done for a purpose.. why do you still want him and love him? because you want to feel whole again.. there is a void.. the problem occurs when the euphoria wears off and the power struggle phase of the relationship causes you to resent and react to the portions of your partner that you are missing.. (both partners do this) so discovering the parts of you that you've buried and are reacting to will point you to the pieces that need to be nurtured.. and help to heal the wounds.. I think this is the true purpose of relationships..
taking ownership (I created this situation) of our life situation (our part) empowers us to make choices based on what is best for us now and removes us from the victim role that we are so reluctant to give up.. accept what is.. the situation as it already exists.. there is absolutely nothing you can do to change anything that has already happened.. or to be gained by resisting it or dwelling on it.. accept the sadness you feel because that is how you feel right now.. don't resist it.. the anger / arguing is just avoiding the pain and sadness.. it may help to give you a sense of emmotional safety but it doesn't deal with the real feeling.. approach it from the mindset that you created this situation by choice and will now do what is in your best interest.. find a way to get support prior to and after each of the meetings with him.. finding someone else to fill the void won't help to heal the old wounds either.. it will very likely serve to bring the old wounds to the surface again as that is what they are intended to do.. finding a way to nurture and love all aspects of yourself manifests more of it in to your life.. if you treat yourself well others will too.
best of luck.. | |
|
| How do u stop loving your ex?
Posted: 12/30/2007 8:33:44 AM | | how do u stop lovin' your ex??? i wonder if we ever stop lovin' the people we've loved. they just take a new place in the heart, when someone else lights a fire. | |
|
| How do u stop loving your ex?
Posted: 12/30/2007 11:48:40 AM | | You can't stop sister, but with time you will fall out of love and simply love him, which you can do from afar. Sorry your feeling this pain it's never a nice feeling, keep your chin up and know that there is someone out there who will love you and treat you with the same respect you treat them with. Try going out on a date this may break the chain for you ;) Best of luck to you! | |
|
Home
login 
