| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 11/29/2007 4:42:29 PM | So you know they are rich, well settled and powerful - this in itself is your greed. You know their status. I think you are playing dumb.
Secondly - money, power and respect is only a BRONX kinda myth. There's nothing like this. I have spoken to lots of women in here who claim to have their own little enterprises, look smart in pictures but can't continue a conversation to save their lives. So.....I think you should re-phrase your query into a simple question like this - 'Do most of us women wanna do rich powerful men with shyte for brains or just cuz they have nice suits on?'  | |
|
| |
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:25:09 AM | [Secondly, if anyone enters into a dating relationship, focused only on self, it isn't going to work well. You suggested that the only guideline is what she feels and when she feels it's right. OK, and if a man does only what he feels, when he feels is right, how well is that going to work? Forming a relationship is to be aware of, and responsive to the needs of the other, as well as one's own. If it is two people, each only caring about self, there's no room left for an "us".]
Was I talking to you? No I wasn't.
The OP asked and I gave her my view on things. Its not about the guy in this case its about her. So why am I gonna mention his rights when hes not the one who needs the advise? Obviously he doesn't need it and she asked our points. So don't dis me because you don't agree with my view. I don't agree with a lot of views on here but I don't dis people for it. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:40:29 AM | | There are no rules, do what feels right! If they are excessively pushy and don't respect you in that area, they will always want everything now and what they want is the most important thing. Money and power usually gets them what they want including women....many women. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:58:54 AM | OP - Anybody (male or female) who starts talking about their church (whatever kind of church that may be) right away should throw up HUGE warning flags in your head.
Religion is - or should be - something intensely private, and spouting off about it to someone you've just met is very suspicious.
Dating the gardener sounds like a sound plan. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 9:02:19 AM | In my experience there's no approximate timeframe or set number of dates by which it's generally OK, or expected, or that a person "should" be physically escalating (much less serve as an indicator of whether things are working) but I will say if you're a woman, and you're interested in a meaningful LTR, then having sex on the first date will probably not give you an advantage.
Melofelo wrote: Generally speaking, it means, that if a relationship hasn't become physically intimate after 3 dates, that it's "understood" that it isn't "working". | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 9:10:51 AM | I discovered a time-saving trick to prevent this problem:
When I accept a date, I say, "It's a friendship date only so
don't get your hopes up." If the other person is relatively
OK with that, they probably care about me as a person.
If they pitch a fit, chances are they're just in it for sex.
merry0709 wrote: On these first dates, I have had severe
problems with these guys keeping their hands to themselves
and respecting my boundaries physically. Then I become
angry, they call for another date, and I tell them I am not
interested because I see what they are all about and I am
not interested. | |
|
rdglvr
|
Joined: 11/22/2007
Msg: 33 | |
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 10:01:49 AM | Thanks for your input David. I really liked your idea about stating that the first date is a firendship only date. After all, any long term relationship you have MUST be built upon a strong friendship, don't you agree? If you are looking for a long term relationship then you have to put your long term self out there and not give in to pressures for sex. If you put yourself out there as someone who has sex easily, what does that say about you and your ability to hold a long term relationship? Just a few thoughts...
 | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 11:52:03 AM | Absolutely, but I spark and amplify attraction, and figure
out whether the lady meets my standards for a GF first before
I establish a friendship. On the first few dates it's important
for me to resist the temptation to leave steps out or perform
them in a different order.
rdglvr wrote: After all, any long term relationship you have
MUST be built upon a strong friendship, don't you agree? | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 5:50:25 PM | Let me think for a moment...almost there...OK,now I remember,
There are no rules.
"Rules" would intimate a written manual that could certainly be misinterpreted.It might also hint at the need for people to "enforce" those rules.I think most of us would not really like a panel of our peers[elected?]watching our intimate moments to make sure we didn't break any of the rules.
Now in a world full of the nonsense called PC....there are volumes of ridiculous language written to save us from our selves.In the real world there are probably unwritten guidelines[most people rely on it being known as common sense]that used prudently seem to get most of the world thru the day in a fairly healthy manner.
Remember....everything you need to get along in the world you should have learned in the proverbial sandbox.....just be three again and it all makes sense. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/1/2007 8:33:21 PM | | yes, OP (mess 1), I am afraid so. I have experienced the same. Some men in quite powerful positions feel that women should fall at their feet........and when you say: "sorry, I am not for sale", they wonder Why. Some other men are powerful and respectful, simply because they are wiser. But again: we, individually, make the rules. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/2/2007 7:06:21 AM | Until you form a "mutual relationship" with a person, you do not need to explain your decisions to anyone. There ARE no rules in dating...SOME people who date do have their own rules, but you do not have to abide by them if you choose not to. As in life, we all endure the consequences of our decisions and that may be that you never hear from them again. But if you do not want to be intimate with someone until you get to know them better, then there is a chance that they may not ask you out again. I say, "C'est la vie!" My moral values belong to me and I will not compromise them for the sake of dating....after all, I am the only one who has to look at myself in the mirror the next morning.
Sometimes we can date a person for months and not be ready to commit our emotions or body to them...but sometimes, just sometimes, someone walks into your life and all thought of waiting just fly out the window.
The imporant thing is to do what you want and not be pressured into doing what you don't want to do for the sake of dating. | |
|
| |
| |
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/5/2007 5:04:51 PM | | Ladies,it's quite simple.For a 1st date or meeting.Meet the guy some where.Then when the date is done.Leave.Do not get yourself into a possition where a guy can take advantage of or force himself on you. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/5/2007 5:14:06 PM | | I have never gone with any rules in dating or sexual encounters! If I had rules I would have missed out on some very fun and enjoyable people and experiences ! I have always found the best relationships from stepping outside of my comfort zone - rules would have made that more difficult. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/8/2007 8:35:48 PM | OP, it's not an uncommon thing in the POF fora to try to respond to the OP, only to have the "posse" come out with pitchforks and torches. So, while, in the real world, the "3 date rule" is commonly understood, it raises the ire of some, so take it for what it's worth.
It's not my "rule of thumb" anyway. Every person has to figure out for himself/herself what feels comfortable. For me, I only make real life dates from online, if there is an extraordinary sense of connection. Then, when we meet, if there isn't also an overwhelming attraction and immediate chemistry, it isn't going to work, in my experience, so I don't pursue it further. No sexual pressure, or expectations, and no explanations necessarry. It's either "there" or it's not, and it's always been pretty obvious right away.
for me it's worked, and now, I'm 24/7 with the love of my life. | |
|
| |
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/12/2007 12:47:08 PM | | Einstein defined insanity as: "Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results." While people are different, perhaps you should change your selection criteria. A very slightly different income level, location, height, etc. may yield vastly different results! (Or maybe not.) | |
|
| |
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:08:05 PM | | WoW!!! Where do I meet these guys??? Honestly though, I think if your radar is honed and you chat on the phone first, you should be able to weed out the letches. I find the men I meet are very shy, timid or just plain ol American Gentlemen. More so in the Southern states of course. My dear… Think more about the common denominator in the men you’re meeting and you just might discover it may be something about you that is drawing out the animal in them. Honestly.. .I’ve never known a man to be more or less a cad by the wad in his back pocket. Genuine character isn’t defined by race, age, education or economic and social class. A gentleman is a gentleman and creep is a creep period. Have more phone conversations before you meet and when you do meet for the first time, make it in the afternoon over coffee and brief. If he’s on a mission, he won’t be bothered with that and if he is a gentleman most likely he’ll ask for the next date before the end of that first meeting. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:43:48 PM | | Just curious.............I know there are no rules and sometimes the attraction is one hot fire------but from what I have seen, if you jump too quickly, the guy leaves too soon. If you don'tj ump quick enough, he's gone. I have no biological clock, but darn, the other timer isn't working well either! | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/13/2007 6:33:20 AM |
from what I have seen, if you jump too quickly, the guy leaves too soon.
I have no idea where this oft quoted idea comes from. I'm sure that there are situations, where couples have sex right away, and then don't continue to see each other, and it only has to happen once in awhile for a woman to be "convinced" that her error was that the man "lost respect" for her, or some other high school concept.
I only know my own experience, and those with whom I've talked about this in real life, and that is simply that if two people meet in person, after having talked online and on the phone, and they really click in person, it's not at all uncommon for it to be sexual from the start. The desire to have a sex life is what leads many women, as well as men, to date in the first place. If people click, and the sex is good, I don't get it why a mature man would stop calling, and I don't think that's what happens in the majority of cases.
I realize that, in the fora, the "go slow" people will come out and villify this post, and that's fine. Real world experience for me is what it is. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/13/2007 7:02:59 AM | Money or age or class or race or religion has NOTHING to do with it merry0709.
Just like every woman is an individual & does not want to be judged for what other women are like, neither do men. You, like many men & women on here, have just had bad luck or have yet to meet the right person for you. Sometimes we all give off signals we may not intentionally give off. This does not mean we have to look like a nun when we go out, but we are all human & if we meet someone for the first time looking perhaps a little too "attractive", unfortunately it may not make the first impression we are hoping for. Regardless, the person you are meant to be with will like you for you. I guess the key is patience.....as difficult as that may be. We are all in the same boat. Good luck. | |
|
| Please explain to me sex and dating rules
Posted: 12/13/2007 7:43:15 AM | Good Day merry0709,
Ok these are the Facts of your experience. Amagine this is a
Game. There are Rules in a Game. They say 30% of people have Sex on the First Date.
My percentage is like 85%. Once you have shared Pictures online, chated, talked on the phone. This is equivilent to a 1rst Date Sweety. If you did'nt know, Now you know.
It does'nt matter if the guy is rich or poor. These are the Rules of the Game and most
guys know the Rules. If you have ever elevated your conversation with a man and maybe teased him a little or a lot. You are playing the Game well. Now you know. So
it does.nt matter if you give the Postman some or the CEO of a Fortune 500 Bisness.
The Game don't Stop for no one (Ongoing part of Life). Game recognize Game (If you
don't want to play, you know what not to do). Last (This is a Game that is played on
99% of Dating Sites. merry0709 I would like to congradulate you. You have just
graduated with a grade of D- from the Class of Game 101 Proffessor MINF033. Take
care & you can Holla Back if you'd like to follow up on other Instructions of Game 102
Advance Game, Game in the perspectives of Law, & International Game Peace
Proffessor MINF033
PP MINF 33* | |
|
Home
login 
