| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/20/2008 5:13:45 AM | I dont think the issue is the dating sites........the issue is that your TRUST in him is broken. If it bothers you that much........you can't expect him to change for you, he obviously doesnt want to change for you......WALK AWAY, because you need to love yourself first. There will be another guy out there who will respect you and love you. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/20/2008 12:48:09 PM | Hi,
I hand this done to me first hand, however it was a girlfriend of mine that seen his profile, and she even contacted him, to see if he would respond. Yes, he did respond. When I brought it to his attention, he lied, and said someone set him up, and posted his profile on there. Then he tries to tell me that he was feeling insecure about my feelings for him, so that is why he posted another profile. I unfortunately gave him the benefit of the doubt, which landed up being a huge mistake. The next several months we were together, I did not trust him, and I had every right not to, as he was always up to no good. My suggestion to you, is go with that gut feeling, as it is always right. If the trust is gone, it is just that gone. Good Luck. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/20/2008 1:07:04 PM | Sorry SweetHeart but I don't think you can trust him. I know, probably not what you want to hear, but it the truth, and often the truth hurts.
If he was happy and in a committed relationship then I can't see any need to be on another site, or even this one, (unless you are on here just for the forums and some friends you have made). But then it also begs the question "Why are you still on here?".
Of course it could very well be innocent, but if you are that much in love there surely wouldn't be a need to be in these sorts of settings. By keeping profiles on here you are both leaving yourself open to temptation. Personally I would at least change my status to something more appropriate if in a committed relationship, if not delete myself totally, and hope that my partner would do the same. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/20/2008 10:59:14 PM |
Why is he signing up on new dating sites.....BECAUSE HE CAN........you gave him permission.......when you kept your profile here..........
Bingo! Really, 9 months of dating and he's still creating new profiles? Girl, he is NOT planning his life around you! However, he likes the attention, and would keep you in his pocket as long as you stayed around.
Now in a later post you say you broke up after this incident, and you're not seeing him. Okay, that is what men call FRICKIN' CRITICAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!!! GEEZ!!!! You started a thread about keeping a guy you ALREADY kicked to the curb?
You have WASTED everyone's time. Hmm...let's see...he's on ???? number of dating sites, and just got dumped. So...what's a single guy on dating sites gonna do?
DUH--!!! Hook up with the first chick who answers his email. Date the first chick he can that he may have been talking to already.
Two weeks already passed before you told anyone on the Forums you broke up? Girl, he's already been on a date, and has more lined up. You are now OFFICIALLY at the back of the line.
He is gone, time for you to find someone else. Next time you think a relationship is serious, you'd better tell the guy you're dating about that. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/21/2008 6:41:44 AM | | Why do you think he's signing up for new date sites? He's still looking, that's why. Personally, I think the best way to find someone is the way people used to do in the "olden" days - that is the days before the internet took over people's lives. I'd so rather meet someone, each make their own assessment based on chemistry, and see which way the sparks fly. However, if that person was someone off this dating site for instance, I wouldn't waste time emailing and calling back and forth for any longer than necessary. Too much time can get wasted that way, and you can be led on for a time. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:31:18 AM | OP,
Uhmmm...you are concerned that he is on other dating sites...yet you are on POF....???
Granted your profile says Friends and Not single/Not looking but what do his profiles say on those other sites???
I can not help but think that there is a double standard here?
It is okay for women to be on dating sites when they are in a relationship and only want to make friends, however it is not okay for men to be on dating sites looking to make friends?
Just an observation. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/21/2008 7:40:30 AM | I think you know what the answer is. Trust is the most important part of a relationship. If you don't have it then you'll spend more time worrying about is he being honest.
How did you find out about date.com? Did you go and find out? Seems a bit odd to me. Maybe you should stop worrying and break up & move on! | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:00:22 AM | I will never understand threads like this. The "pot calling the kettle black", "I throw stones and I live in a glass house" thread.
How does one validate a complaint about someone else's dating site searches when they maintain a totally open profile themselves? How does one claim they have a serious relationship when having such an open profile? How does one find out about their partner's indescretions without access to other dating sites?
I think the OP did the right thing by discussing the issue with her guy. But then, to hold him to partnership expectations which she herself cannot offer to him is foolhardy and a recipe for relationship disasters, not only with this guy but then with the next one, and the one after that, and so on . . . | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/21/2008 8:32:02 AM | I would say that if he "wants to see what people say about him" he has a self esteem problem or something. Otherwise he's just full of shit.
I would accept keeping POF because the forums are great. (I haven't had one date, but the forums at least amuse me.) But if I found out that a partner was joining NEW sites.... I think it'd be grounds to say, "This isn't going to work. We've only been together x number of months and you're already window shopping." | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/23/2008 10:37:36 PM | | He sounds like a nice little player who ultimately feels pathetic about himself soo much that he needs to feed his ego by goin on dating sites while he is with you. May seem like not a huge deal at this moment, but this guy will make you suffer in the future. Be cautious. Very cautious. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:16:12 PM | YUP many of you have hit the nail on the head...red flags....Its just my opinion but if you are seeing someone on here .I would think it be smart to either hide your profile or just delete it....otherwise I really dont see the guy that interested!!To me it would seem like someone is just settling , until something better comes along ... | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:16:25 PM | this is the point with being on a site isnt it, how do you know.............
If you dont know,becuse you should Know, its called the gut instinct, love at last, something should be telling you......
I think that it takes a couple of years to build trust and total comfort for some people and only the chosen few have that straight away.
Dont worry about it if things are good, worry if things are not......... trust your gut, and anyother signs.......
time is the best teacher and every lesson learnt is a gift.........
Maybe start by taking ytour profiles off together and setting the boundary, no sites or its over.
If its not a site it coudl be peopel at the office or anywhwere, so dont worry,
Qualtiy of the relationship is the key to the answer and his honesty.
But I say again if you have to ask a third party and on a site like this, then you have a communcation problem and I am sure he deserves you to keep the privacy of the relationship just that private and work it out with him not all of us........
If you want us to confirm your gut instinct, then learn to trust it yourself, you will as time goes on and eventually your gut inctincts will see you through. Its always right.
Sometines we need to do things that dont work out the way we want them to learn, so always consider and act on your gut and if you dont understand why you gut led you to the current dilemma then see wht you were meant to learn and you will be stronger and have better expereinces.
Go with it if its still good........ Be alert and learn from it...... | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:24:49 PM | Oh my god Barma Bob, what a hypocryte you are, it is scary, i am surprised to hear you giving the advice you gave.
I jsut finsihed respondign to your purpetual problem,and hear you are........
the fewer people the better hey, contrary man........
Perhaps you need to check out the railway sleeper in your eye instead of the splinter in her patners finger........
MMMMMM, and you wonder why the ladies drop out of emails and IMs with you.....
You mind is truly a one sides impliment........ | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:26:51 PM | I think some people get addicted to internet dating. Some don't even intend to meet anyone, they just get a buzz out of chatting online. Possibly he used to have a lot of fun emailing lots of different women before he met you and somehow got hooked on it. On the internet you can be anyone you like if you have enough imagination. I suspected my ex was cheating, so I pretended to be someone else and caught him out. It was quite "interesting" what he told this invented woman about me. You're right to be concerned. You need to pick up the courage to confront him about it. If he is just doing it for fun, you could going out or doing something else that's fun for both of you. Also he could go on other websites and chat and email people who share his special interest in art, sport, music or whatever he enjoys doing - not dating. If he is meeting people behind your back and leads them up the garden path as much as you, you need to have a serious talk about your relationship.
Hope this has been helpful. All the best of luck. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:27:16 PM | | Tell him that you feel very uncomfortable about him doing that and tell him that it's time to get off these websites- *ALL* of them. Once you are in something serious there is no excuse to be making new dating profiles in my eyes. And if it starts here, what doors does it open? it gives too many chances for bad stuff to happen. | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:29:24 PM | Oh my god Barma Bob, what a hypocryte you are, it is scary, i am surprised to hear you giving the advice you gave.
I jsut finsihed respondign to your purpetual problem,and here you are........
the fewer people the better hey, contrary man........ In laws, you mean x wives dont you, you did say you had little or no family left on your forum.
your women should put up with it, but this girl shouldnt.
MMMMMMMM, scary very scary, you know exaclty wht your doing to your women where your x is concerned dont you, OH my go
MMMMMM, and you wonder why the ladies drop out of emails and IMs with you.....
You mind is truly a one sides impliment........ i think they call it Narcism, run ladies run | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 2/29/2008 6:33:00 PM |
I will never understand threads like this. The "pot calling the kettle black", "I throw stones and I live in a glass house" thread.
How does one validate a complaint about someone else's dating site searches when they maintain a totally open profile themselves? How does one claim they have a serious relationship when having such an open profile? How does one find out about their partner's indescretions without access to other dating sites?
Bikeman, the original post was months ago. What her profile says now is probably not reflective of what it said when she asked this.
As for how you find out without being on other sites: Often, other people tell you. I had a friend whose boyfriend, while spending weekends with her and professing love, started showing up as recently active on a dating site I was on. He broke up with her a month or two later--no doubt after he had her replacement all lined up.
--Ms. Flis | |
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| Why is he signing up on new dating sites when we are in a serious relationship?
Posted: 8/24/2008 6:27:36 PM | O boy.... I have had similar probs like that happen with a few guys I dated. And I am totally against flirting with others when you finally met the person you claim you wanna be with. So in the start of every relationship I lay my cards down and if I catch them flirting still I dump their sorry *&@% ..... just me!!
That is a HUDGE red flag and if I were you I would lay your cards down and tell him it is you only or nothing and stick to it.
Remember we are treated the way we allow ourselves to be treated. So if you are ok with him still keeping his options open then best of luck with that.
Just a question, why would you want to continue to be with a man who claims he lacks in self confidence? To me that is a bunch of bull, that was just his excuse he came up with when he got caught. And let's give him the benifit of doubt and say he does lack in self confidence ask yourself looking in the future where you will stand when his confidence is built up from OTHER woman?? Would his new found SELF make him so confident that he could then get any woman and would then feel the need to test that??
Humm I wouldn't want to stick around to find out. Weird how he needs to hear from other woman what they think when he has a woman,the one he is suppose to be impressing. Or does he not care what you think? He is so confident in how you feel about him that he longer cares what you think?
Food for thought~ | |
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