| 'The one'
Posted: 12/8/2007 7:00:02 AM |
Ok so i did that thing a lot of us did and got pregnant and married at a young age, grew up and realised it was a mistake! ( not the kids obviously!) Now i find myself single with two kids at 31 years of age and wondering does THE ONE actually exist for everyone? I mean you watch all the romantic comedies and series on tv and being female wish that happy ending would come but life just isn't like that is it? Unfortunately! lol So give me some hope, any stories out there of that real life happy ending?
In short:
1. The ONE does exist for everyone. The fact you don't see it (or realize to see it) does not mean it does not exist.
2. Happiness does not exist.
3. ... and even if it exists... it's not about 'being in love' but actually loving someone (and of course, being loved back). Those 2 things are very different. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/10/2007 3:15:56 PM | | I have been through a lot of adversity in my own life in different ways but I believe "the one" still must be out there somewhere. I've not thrown in the towel yet! | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/11/2007 12:05:18 AM | | I believe that "the one" is valid. It depends on the situlation and if the timing is right, I think that there is someone out there for everyone. The trick is allowing this person into your life, because this person is not who you expected them to be. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/11/2007 1:19:31 AM | what about ex hubby father of your kids
he must have been the one for you to carry and give birth to his children
so maybe your go at "the one" has been and passed | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/11/2007 1:20:39 AM | | double up | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/11/2007 7:18:26 PM |
does THE ONE actually exist for everyone?
I really really hope so. I'm one of those guys who got all the "me time" out of the way when I was younger and wanted to make sure that I was financially, emotionally, and spiritually secure so that I would have more to offer when I was ready. Now I find myself at 41 playing catch up against the clock (we guys have a self-perceived biological clock too). I moved to a very dismal area to be single in about 2.5 years ago and was seeing someone when I came here. That ended shortly thereafter and in two plus years I haven't met a single local lady I would want to date!
Two months ago I made a decision to get the heck out of this podunk town because if I stay here I will never meet the one for me. I'm moving back to a more affluent area and I put a profile on the POF site to increase the odds that I would meet someone special.
The really scary thing though, is to understand what it really means to find the "right one" and not fall in love with the idea of falling in love just because we're getting nervous about age and being able to raise a family without being in a wheel-chair. Admitedly, this fear of waking up some day alone and being "old" is a pretty powerful motivation. When I was in my early 30s I had numerous women in their late 30s and early 40s who targetted me and I always brushed them off because I didn't just want to be someone's old age security blanket. I'm beginning to understand their perspective now and I guess there is a sense of karmic justice.
Anyway, just sharing something to think about with you all. I tell my younger friends that they should wait until they are in their 30s before thinking about a life commitment, but I'm also careful to tell them not to wait too long because it gets harder and more frustrating the older we get, especially if we want a family.
Peace and love to you all. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/12/2007 6:06:21 AM |
The trick is allowing this person into your life, because this person is not who you expected them to be.
100% agree... learnt that from past life experiences. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/13/2007 5:51:15 PM | I believe that there's a ONE for everyone. I believe that ther's someone out there that we're destined to be with. A soul mate that makes our soul that much stronger, more able to withstand the maelstrom of life when we're complete.
I do believe. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/13/2007 11:44:54 PM | | I don't believe in a "one". I believe that certain people are MORE compatible with one another, and are more likely to have a successful relationship. Regardless, any relationship requires a huge amount of work, communication, understanding etc... | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/14/2007 12:45:04 AM | | theres not the one,ive had the feeling once or twice with woman i couldve worked at and been happy with,they either had issues or i did,but it felt different with them to anyone else.youd go out with friends and constantly think of them,youd clock watch just to get back home to them.if they arent the ones i dont know what is. | |
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ukyoss
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Joined: 2/20/2005
Msg: 36 | |
| 'The one'
Posted: 12/14/2007 11:43:34 AM | | I feel as i am there now. O_O I feel amazing and happy and wow. When you meet someone who can do that do you its amazing. 8). 8) 8). Good luck hope your able to find someone just dont give up . | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/14/2007 12:54:42 PM | im a disbeliever...think whoever thought up the 'theres someone there for everyone of us' is a romantic liar....... | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:10:26 PM | There could be "The one" for all of us if we meet the right person and work on the relationship. What I wanted in "The one" in my 20's was a beautiful looking lady with a nice personality. I am now in my mid-30's. I now want a woman who can appreciate me for me and someone I can appreciate for being herslf and she should have a great personality.
I have learned relationships can be hard work but worth it in the end if you are both happy.
OP why not focus on your kids instead of looking for a relationship? | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/15/2007 9:43:21 PM | There's someone for every stage that you're in, in your life. Whether it be a man, a child, or a parent... Romantic Love seems to be looked at as the be all, end all when quite frankly, it isn't. Enjoy the loves that you have, remember the ones that have passed, fondly. And always know that there is someone that loves you, even though it may not be in the way that you desire at this particular time and place. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/16/2007 12:15:03 AM |
There's someone for every stage that you're in, in your life. Whether it be a man, a child, or a parent... Romantic Love seems to be looked at as the be all, end all when quite frankly, it isn't. Enjoy the loves that you have, remember the ones that have passed, fondly. And always know that there is someone that loves you, even though it may not be in the way that you desire at this particular time and place.
Wise words... hats off! | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/18/2007 4:02:49 AM | | I think my 'the one' is either a native in a rainforest or working the rigs somewhere in deepest darkest Russia!! If there is ONE for us....who's to say we'll meet them? | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/19/2007 5:08:55 AM |
I think my 'the one' is either a native in a rainforest or working the rigs somewhere in deepest darkest Russia!! If there is ONE for us....who's to say we'll meet them?
...and who are you to say you won't?
Better get packing to travel to the rainforest or Russia... instead of just sitting in front of a pc ...browsing profiles and eating peanuts.. isn't it? | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/19/2007 7:57:24 AM | | think that we find people thats perfectly acceptable and a good match and they can be the one,there is more than one | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 12/20/2007 4:04:05 AM |
Ok so i did that thing a lot of us did and got pregnant and married at a young age, grew up and realised it was a mistake! ( not the kids obviously!) Now i find myself single with two kids at 31 years of age and wondering does THE ONE actually exist for everyone? I mean you watch all the romantic comedies and series on tv and being female wish that happy ending would come but life just isn't like that is it? Unfortunately! lol So give me some hope, any stories out there of that real life happy ending?
Divorce rates and the number of unhappy relationships should tell people that most of us are unable to find "the one"
When you limit yourself by race,age and location you additionally curtail your chances.
Things were probably easier when marriages were arranged or were undertaken for primarily practical reasons. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 1/25/2008 7:04:08 AM | Ok just have to say to the people on here commenting on me concentrating on my kids instead of looking for a partner, I AM! but tell me why just cause i'm a mum does that not entitle me to want a partner too? I am perfectly fine coping on my own and i don't NEED a partner but if someone right was to come along are you saying i shouldn't make time for them just because i have children? My children will always come first but i am a woman and human so there's nothing wrong with wanting other people in my life, who you were before you had kids does not disappear just gets enhanced through the experience of growth.
Also I was in love with my ex husband when i married him and had our children but life changes and someone never putting u and the kids first and having an alcohol problem tends to lead to divorce! All i can do is hope that one day i'll meet someone who is right for me and i am right for them. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 1/25/2008 8:01:21 AM | "...So give me some hope, any stories out there of that real life happy ending?"
Hope... Hence, the reason for very few postings on the "success stories". | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 1/25/2008 10:10:15 AM | I don't know that I believe in "the one". Sure, I reference to him as being the "right one" or the "right man" but in reality I don't believe in soul mates. Its just not a possibility. I do however, feel very strongly that there are people who are good for you and those who are not and that you can love someone truly, deeply and passionately - even the "wrong" man.
Its like the whole concept that people who got married 60 years ago STAYED married and that somehow, our society has hit a major down slide with the way that marriages aren't lasting as long. "Well my grandparents were married for fifty years!" means nothing to me. Sure, it could very well be that they were truly deeply in love but the chances are a little more that they were simply MARRIED. Just because someone stays in a marriage for 10 or 30 or even 50 years doesn't mean that they are happy or have found "the one".
Do I hope that there is someone out there that I am so compatible with we are best friends as well as lovers and spend the rest of our lives together? Of course or I wouldn't BE here. DO I believe that they are "the ONE" or my soul mate? Nope. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 1/25/2008 12:06:27 PM |
about being 30+ and feeling like a freak for not being married with kids
Which blog was that? I feel like a freak. It's good to know I'm not the only one  . | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 1/25/2008 4:48:14 PM | | "The one" is like Santa,the easter Bunny and Batman. Fun to talk about when you're young but they don't exist. Sometimes I feel like I am looking for the one that irritates me the least, not the one I was meant to be with. | |
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| 'The one'
Posted: 1/25/2008 6:30:36 PM | ~OP~ I've met "the one" more than once. It's possible. He was ideal at the time then we changed, evolved, grew or digressed, and he was no longer "the one." Doesn't mean he wasn't at the time it began, things change. For me, I don't look in terms of "forever" most often because "forever" doesn't exist. Someone might die, someone might trade me in for a younger model, someone might get a case of wanderlust and disappear or maybe I'll do any or all of those actions. "Forever" is where the trouble is for me. I don't like that term, it puts WAY too much pressure on the situation. How about just living for today and making it the best day to that point? I like that idea a lot more than worrying about the future and all that goes along with that. There is glory in the present. JMO  | |
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