| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 5:43:59 AM | | It's pretty damn selfish to expect someone to go their entire life without sex simply because this other person is incapable. Why drag others down with you when you're in a bad situation? Don't expect unrealistic things of other people. Life is not a storybook, we all have real needs that actually need to be satisfied in order for us to live happy, fulfilled lives. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 6:05:12 AM | Sexual intercourse is a very limiting means of expressing physical intimacy. The REAL intimacy and satisfaction comes from the mind connection to body and spirit.
Together, if they truly love one another fully, they will be willing to explore and find their mutual satisfaction in intimacy...but that requires dedication to make effort, loosing of inhibitions and preconceived notions, and a strong base upon which the relationship stands to work. Work within the relationship rather than look outside of it, otherwise both are cheated of the deepest levels of intimacy a couple can achieve. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 6:33:21 AM | reminds me of that song "Ruby"... it's originally by Kenny Rogers, but Wolfshiem does a version I prefer. Anyway, here's the lyrics:
you painted up your lips
and rolled and curled your tinted hair
ruby are you contemplating
going out somewhere
the shadow on the wall tells me the sun ist going down
oh ruby, don´t take your love to town
it wasn´t me who started
that old crazy asian war
but I was proud to go
and do my patriotic chore
and ... yes it´s true, that I´m not the man I used to be
oh ruby, I still need some company
it´s hard to love a man whose legs
are bent and paralyzed
and the wants and the needs
of a woman your age ... ruby I realize
but it won´t be long
I´ve heard them say until I´m not around
oh ruby, don´t take your love to town
she´s leaving now
´cause I just heard the slamming of the door
the way I know I´ve heard it slam one hundred times before
and if I could move I´d get my gun and put her in the ground
oh ruby, don´t take your love to town
oh ruby, for god´s sake ... turn around
As for your question, of course it's cheating. I'm not sure what to do about the situation, but if I was in the position that my significant other could no longer have sex, I wouldn't leave them or cheat on them. I guess I'd look for other ways to connect. It's a strange situation, but if a paralysed guy is dating a nympho, I think it's better for her to move on. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 6:44:12 AM | | What kind of question was that??? Whether her husband does it for her or not, and she stays with him and has sex with someone else- of coiurse it's cheating. If she wants sex in her life and her husband can't do it for her thenm why the hell does she stay??????? | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 10:46:32 AM | | I feel there is no harm to fullfil her needs. It is just like your food and requirement of the body and if you don't get it at home you have to get it outside... | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 10:58:08 AM | | There is no way someone outside the relationship could define this for them - the two people involved have to figure it out for themselves as they are the ones that will be affected by the decision. Maybe the help of a therapist would be beneficial. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 12:00:53 PM | If her husband agrees to it then I cant see the problem.
Unless the best friend is married of course !
Having said that there are many ways to satisfy someone sexually. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 5:31:20 PM | Well. How about some more info John? Like. Is this guy laid up in bed. Paralyzed?
Can he walk and talk? I guess it depends on the people involved. It is subjective. It is what THEY think cheating is. I have opinions but I'm gonna shut up about them until I get some more info.
So what gives here John?
I thank you. | |
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| `no greater love hath a man than that he lay down his life for his friend`
Posted: 12/3/2007 5:56:19 PM | I WOULD LIKE TO THANK EVERYONE FOR THEIR INPUT
at present their friend is opposed to the idea(which was the husbands incidentally),
i have asked him to read the comments here before making a decision and as a courtesy to the contributors to reveal his decision on this forum
hope this helps
john | |
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9 to 9
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Joined: 5/28/2007
Msg: 88 | |
| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 7:04:47 PM | Msg. 1
Jou must be kidding me. This sounds like something put out in the 80's by a band called Heart. That concept then and now, of swapping partners to concieve, or to have sex, or better sex, in secret. Is still wrong, both then and now. If the relationship requires sexs to function, and that element is no longer functioning adequately, is irrepairable or undesireable, thus it ends.
But what is cheating? Cheating is when your desire to lie with another causes you to lie to whom you lay with now. What makes cheating, cheating, is the deceptive pretense of a monogamous and comitted relationship. Hardly solvent when, one party or the other is having sex with other people in secret. If the husband knows and consents and its understood that, that is, how it is, then its not cheating. Then again, such a demand of sexual favors, would be deprived indeed.
Best bet is a divorce if married, or both facing the cold and ruthless fact, that without further curative measures, their sex life is over. the only question for a GF in such a situation is how long till she walks, just as a man would with a woman with same sexual problems or reluctances.
And thus is why:
As many have put it, people in relationships unmarried are just dating, for however long or short that period may be, and really this is a cure all for a lack of moral compass or commitment. And a perfect way to have your cake, eat it too, and not have to pay for it later. You see there is no real binding anything when dating, simply because any obligation or plege a person makes can go streight out the door. After all their just dating, its not like their married or anything. A cry often spat when they wish to overlook certain obligations of a truely commited relationship. "after all, we're just dating" and then the cheating, or other problems begin to take root. And are justified later.
Now there is nothing wrong with having ones cake and eating it too, but nothing is without some kind of cost. In this case the need for sex and the dissolution of a non functional relationship for that opportunity.
9 to 9 | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/3/2007 8:14:46 PM | This thread is awfully familiar.... as is the OP... though he's gone through several name changes in the last year.
Only an idiot would ask this question... which is how I know it's the same poster.
To answer the stupid question with an equally stupid answer.... ahhhh.. DUH!!
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/4/2007 6:50:12 AM | | Cheating is anything sexually. Like a blow job, intercouse, even foreplay. Women go as far as to say emotional cheating (this one blew my mind the first time I heard it). | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/4/2007 7:46:28 AM | | ya i now a buddy in this dilemma as well and i do consider that cheating. I dont blaim her for wanting something else but they got married to certain vows and if they didnt mean them well dont say them. There getting a divorce now in my friends case which i think is the only way to deal with the situation. I look at it like this.... your sitting there after your car crash and your depressed cause you will never get laid again or walk. Or your laying there thinking about your wife and how you would like to lay her again but ya know some other guy is doing that for ya ... plus you will never walk again. I think that would be doing your friend even more hurt. At least getting a divorce he can always think about his wedding vows and wonder if either of them meant it. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:02:12 AM | No, cheating is being dishonest, breaking promise.
If her husband is okay with her getting her physical needs fulfilled elsewhere, it is an open relationship (as would visa versa). If it works for them - no one else has the right to judge. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:36:02 AM | to be lucky enough to find a deep fulling relationship in all aspects is an amazing thing to experience. theres 21 yrs between me&my fella, we,ve discussed the topic of if we were unable to have full intercourse.(¬ assuming it would necessarily be him) so what. ITS NOT EVERYTHING in a relationship,theres so many other ways to be intermet. from conversation to toys! its down the individuals and communication ALWAYS. i could never do it. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/4/2007 10:08:54 AM |
So, is it cheating, yes it is. Should they read and find other suitable means to satisfy each other? Yes, there are many ways to accomplish this goal... Has the man not a mouth, has he not hands, has he not a heart? Has she not needs that he could meet through other means? The answer to all of these questions is yes.
It's never that simple, in my experience being a volunteer for handicapped people, I've seen many maladjusted, angry, bitter, frustrated men who often feel guilty. They often fall into depression and who can blame them? And the caretaker/wife often feels overwhelmed, unloved, unheard, having her needs always take the backseat to the spouse with the problem. She starts to feel guilty she even has needs and emotions. What is needed is professional help for both of them. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/4/2007 10:57:05 AM | I consider it cheating, but he may well not mind as long as his wife is happy. I don't know how SHE would be able to sustain two "loves", though.
And BTW, many paralyzed men can stay erect for LONGER than "hale" men because the nerve endings can't be felt, so the guy doesn't "need" to cum. Being paralyzed doesn't necessarily mean he can't get it up; it does mean he most likely cannot feel it. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/4/2007 11:01:46 AM | I believe that answer is of a personal relationship status.
Unless you are William Jefferson Clinton, sexual intercourse is cheating. | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/5/2007 6:57:29 AM | Unless you are William Jefferson Clinton, sexual intercourse is cheating.
Yeah...but Billy Boy would have some lame justification statement like, "Define cheating!!!"... | |
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| is sexual intercourse actually cheating
Posted: 12/10/2007 6:48:49 AM |
Cheating is not lack of trust? If I promise someone i will give them 10 dollars, and i violate their trust and dont give them it, is that cheating? Is that infidelity because cheating is infidelity. Christians do not define cheating as sex. Cheating is adultery, which is clearly defined.
The definition of adultery: extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations; "adultery is often cited as grounds for divorce"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Hmmm. "Christians do not define cheating as sex. Cheating is adultery, which is clearly defined."
extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations; "adultery is often cited as grounds for divorce"
wordnet.princeton.edu/perl/webwn
Let's see, the quote above says cheating is not defined by Christians as "sex". They define cheating as adultery, according to the assertion of a poster. Yet, the dictionary defines adultery as "extramarital sex".
Oh, gee, how did I miss this? How can cheating be sex, when cheating is adultery, defined as extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferees with marriage relations?
Oh wait, I didn't miss this. Cheating = extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations. Adultery = extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations--e.g. violation of trust.
Thus, cheating or adultery equal extramarital sex that willfully and maliciously interferes with marriage relations., e.g. violation of trust (this is the willful and malicious aspect for those that fail to recognize it).
The poster had one thing correct. Cheating/Adultery is not "lack of trust". It is a violation of trust.
I'm glad that we got that straight. For a minute there I thought I didn't know what I was talking about.
ACP | |
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