| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/3/2007 3:56:48 PM | | UGH--I wrote one of these letters and sent it. Then got back together with the guy, and he actuually still had the letter! And TRIED to follow some of the things I wanted/needed. So I guess SOME good came out of it. But I certainly wouldn't keep any such letter if someone sent me one... | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/12/2007 10:17:48 PM | | Man...I've got a few letters a couple of pages long but I was never in a relationship with these people...so it was just kinda creepy. One was from a guy who worked in my building who I might have just said hi to once. Granted if I was in a long term relationship with someone who I knew intimately and just needed to express some things you were feeling...I don't see anything wrong with that. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/13/2007 12:42:25 AM | I agree with the earlier post it can be very theraputic to get those feelings out but I'd say hold on to the letter for a few days then re read it -you may wish to add new feelings ...
A journal can provide the same space and it can be very revealing ,when, in time ,you re read your thoughts. It will also show you how you have changed .. moved on.
If you do send a letter you could incorporate it into a season greeting card and send it as a sort of catch up it really depends on what you are hoping to achieve and only you know that .
Take care | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/13/2007 4:49:35 AM | Most of you are right on here. Writing that letter should be about getting out your feelings. Putting it away for a time then getting it out at a later date and rereading and maybe adding too or taking somethings out. This was almost a given for my clients in sexual abuse counseling. Of course in that area most were never sent unless the abuser was a family member . The letter is about YOUR feelings and how to deal with them. You may find it amazing how that letter changes, if taken out and revised from time to time. Remember these are your feelings and no one else can judge them but you. However,it is likely the person they are directed at is not giving you one minutes thought. Which means they have a certain amount of control over you. Work on that and take back your control.
FEELINGS AREN'T RIGHT OR WRONG.............THEY JUST ARE!!!!!!!!!!!! | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/13/2007 6:01:41 AM | | Interesting, galonthemt. Do feelings change or do we keep re-rationalizing things? I know a man who says he doesn't ever trust his feelings and goes as far as saying they lie. He is very stoic and has almost no affect. He has to think things through and rationalize every feeling. I personally believe feelings are true at the time they happen. Of course, bad feelings dissipate over time. I think point of the letter exercise is figuring out the real reasons we have them. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/17/2007 1:49:06 PM | I wrote one, and sent it.
I regret sending it...hold onto it and re read it a few days later, you may want to make some changes.
I should have journalized my feelings and put it away for future reference, sending it didnt do me any good...it didnt make me feel any better. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/17/2007 3:08:28 PM | Its not a letter for them, the idea of writing the letter is for YOU. Thts why it is meant not be sent.
I did the letter before. Sat down, and put all my jumbled thoughts on paper , then re-read it, and wrote it out again. Kept it for a little while , read it again and burned it .
It served the purpose, and as I burned it , I let go of the past , felt justified in my decisions , and let him and the past go.
Its all about closure for you, not for her .
Too bad you sent it, perhaps time for another letter - and burn it this time ! | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/17/2007 3:20:22 PM | | I wrote letters after my marriage broke up, but never sent them. It's very therapeutic in helping you to understand your own feelings, and even so more when you finally destroy them. It's as tho you've taken all that heartache and thrown it away. | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:32:04 PM | Good for you bud' Don't contact her in anyway, shape or form.....Been there,seen that, got the T-shirt.
Women are a totally dif species from us poor males.......Try to understand them at your own risk....
:-/ | |
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| The letter you write not to send
Posted: 12/17/2007 5:58:29 PM |
Writing is great therapy, sending is a complete disaster.
Remember that 'living well' is the best revenge. Just live your life and fill it with others and the pain will lessen.
If you really want revenge. the opposite of love is not hate, it is indefference. If you stay indifferent you will be better off and it will hurt your ex-more.
Wished I would have known this a long time ago. I write and send and it does lead to more hurt. Although my last had a little decency for my written desperation and replied back but the answer was still no.  I guess we figure theres that one last chance. We live and learn.
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