| What is up with the mind gamhttp://forums.plentyoffish.com/addpost.aspx?SID=fuwpks551sivcb45b1bxes??
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:15:02 AM | It's amazing what you can find when you Google it: "why do guys play mind games?"
Playing mind games isn't about love. It IS about control and anyone who interprets mind games as love is already a victim of such a man's control and is as good as brainwashed. A woman who knows that her mind is being 'played with' should have enough self respect and self love to GET OUT of the relationship. People who play mindgames have serious issues with themselves i.e. insecurities, fears or they just get off on causing confusion and upset to the woman they supposedly 'love.' Love isn't about playing games, it's about respect, truth and consideration. So in answer to your question, men only play mind games with women who let them - nothing to do with love or hate.
I think you can substitute friendship for love when it comes to your hair puller.
He's just not that into you. | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:15:23 AM | guys are not smart enough for mind games...LOL
Actually sometimes what happens is a guy is on the fence, doesn't want to destroy the friendship (yes I have female friends) sometimes there is a family vibe, cause if you know someone really well it is like they are part of the family... and sometimes guys and gals are just jerks!!!
Not sure which one this guy is but it is annoying I would guess (from what I remember about that sort of thing!) | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/4/2007 8:37:15 AM | it is no wonder that you people are still on a dating site, even if just for the forums
We do it because we love to get a reaction. We're having a blast here and you're biting.
And you can't get angry at those who think "once a cheater always a cheater" because statistically, they are correct.
Maybe *just maybe* your question is an honest one. If so, then congratulations on achieving the moral maturity of a 65 year old person at the age of 24.
When you post on a forum, you should expect responses from a majority of people who fall into one of the following categories:
1- Can't get a date in the real world or are too lazy to try anything other than the easy to use interactive shopping catalogue that is POF
2- Have been burnt so many times by people who cheated "only once and will never do it again"
3- People who are only here for the forums and observe a lot of interesting confessions from all sorts of people (I'm in this category)
Your post is a redundant topic, so don't be surprised if people respond as if they already know you.
They may be wrong and you may "special", but if you don't want forum replies, then don't ask.
EDIT: I may as well answer your original question: Everyone plays mind games. You too. Yes you do. It's called "trying to exert control over the other person". You do it at work, at school and at home. It's not why people play mind games, but rather why don't people try to stop playing them once in a while for the sake of a healthy friendship or even a lasting relationship. | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/4/2007 11:30:07 AM | ^^^^^^^
No, that's a narrow representation of what a mind game is. Mind games also include giving then withholding affection and /or interest. It's not just lies.
When someone is caught in a lie, there's no defense other than the usual denial. When there are head games such as manipulation or by making sure your partner doesn't know where you stand in the relationship, that is much harder to label as being just a "low life".
Innocent examples: the classic silent treatment when your partner doesn't do what you want him/her to do.
So everybody does it. Deny it and you're only playing mind games with yourself. | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/4/2007 11:48:37 AM | | I always see posts about "mind games" but I have no clue what you women are talking about. When you ask a question about mind games, why not specifically state the behavior you're referring to? At least this way the guys maybe can explain the behavior rather than going for a general subject. | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/4/2007 11:51:23 AM | Forget my prior post, finally found it.
Sounds like he's trying to keep you baited with him. He's feeding his ego the way female counterparts do that go guys. | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/6/2007 10:36:11 AM | | We all went out last night. He talked me into playing photo hunt with him on the megatouch...I wanted to leave. I decided that I had to just come out with it and tell him what was bothering me and maybe work something out. I told him that it was becoming really difficult to stay "just friends" with him and that certain things he did were really confusing me. He responded to this by giving me a hug. Then he said he didn't want a relationship and, long story short, it would just end up in one of us sitting at home miserable with a broken heart....problem is, I am already dealing with it... | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/7/2007 4:55:55 AM | | The famous words- have you ever read that book? He's just not that into you? That guy who has the talk show wrote it and it is so clear. After I read that book (every word, by the way), I never wanted to worry about wasting my time again and since then, have gotten very little results but have not wasted one moment of gas money, coffee money or phony dates! and I have more time to get my things done and more me time to sit back and relax! Read it- I know you'll love it. It's very simple- confront him and say listen, I need to know- are you interested? If not, just tell me and we can be strictly friends and I will be perfectly fine with it but please don't play with my emotions! Period! If he gets upset, well that's just tough. | |
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| What is up with the mind games??
Posted: 12/7/2007 6:22:41 AM | | Socrates says it is good to ask questions, but you asked the wrong question. You mean are the guys you are friends with playing games with you, I take it. In my opinion, I'd say your friends are being inappropriate. If I am flirting with a girl then I, myself, might be contemplating taking it to the next level, though I may not necessarily do that. I am testing the waters. However, this person is flirting with you while saying you cannot be an item. I personally wouldn't want that kind of person as my friend. I try to keep males and females in my life who are not like that and don't use other people. Who needs to be used? I would re-evaluate my friendship with this fellow or have a chat with him about not playing with your hair, and that you are just friends, and that this flirting makes you uncomfortable since there is nothing between you two. You have to have proper interpersonal boundaries. I am not judging your actions based on the cheating you did when you were 16. No one has a perfect past. You can be today as if you never did what you did at 16. You were a juvenile, had your family background. You definitely want love, but don't look in the wrong places.. Easier said then done, I know. Call me old fashioned, but I am not so interested in friends like the kind you described who touch you in a way a friend is not supposed to and then say to you they can't see themselves with you... It's highly inappropriate.. | |
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