| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/5/2007 11:41:08 AM | | Morals for many have died. The few who still have the morals probably do have a hard time finding someone who can wait. Morals in modern days depends on the person and there up bringing. What else it depends what kind of life they have lived. Don't give up on people just hope there is still someone out there who understands your morals. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/5/2007 12:06:57 PM |
Morals for many have died. The few who still have the morals probably do have a hard time finding someone who can wait. Morals in modern days depends on the person and there up bringing. What else it depends what kind of life they have lived. Don't give up on people just hope there is still someone out there who understands your morals.
Its not my morals. Morals are not subjective. You either have them or you don't. Yes, you are right about finding people with morals is difficult. It is very difficult and is getting harder with each day. But I would rather be single then find someone with no morals. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/6/2007 3:14:58 AM | Morals *are* subjective - go and check a dictionary about what morals are.
There is nothing wrong with having an adult, mutually agreed sexual relationship.
It may be that waiting for marriage until you have sex is correct for you, but that doesn't give you the right to decry other people's lifestyles as wrong, particularly when no-one is being hurt. I would also submit that a 20 year old virgin is not the best candidate for advising others on sex..
You may be lucky and find someone where sex just works. You might find that sex works after a lot of poor sex, where previous practice with other people would have helped. You may also find someone where sex does not, and cannot, ever work. This does happen.
If you're prepared to run the risk of a sexless marriage then go ahead, but other people try to cover appropriate risks before they commit to life changing experiences. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/6/2007 3:15:05 AM | Morals aren't subjective!?
Forgive me for being rude, but that's a somewhat ignorant statement.
Different cultures find different things immoral--- this implies that morality is VERY subjective.
I took an entire philosophy class on the subjectivity of morality. In MOST cases it is a social construct-- except for things like murder, which everyone agrees are bad.
The only people I've met who have argued otherwise were the ones that were SO into their own beliefs/moral codes that they viewed everyone who didn't follow THEIR morality as amoral. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/7/2007 1:10:03 PM |
See... look at this. You all have no self-control. Im almost 20. I am a proud virgin and I am waiting until marriage. You people lack patience which is one of the most important thing for a successful relationship. Pre-marital sex is a want for those with no self-control. Its a must not for people who are patient and have morals.
To wait is your choice. To not to wait is my choice. What does that have anything to do with self control? Having no self control means giving in to your circumstances or outside pressure. So how does a lack of self control play into making a conscious choice to do or not do something?
If there were girls or boys posting on here saying, "yah, I lost my virginity to a frat boy I took to my high school prom," than you would be correct in lording you being a saint while others obviously being not as high principled as you are. But I don't see many of those posts here. Those of us who have posted have expressed that it was our choice to have sex.
And couldn't I turn around and say that those of us who did have sex are more assertive than those of you who wait? That we are better at taking action than those of you who are too afraid of the real world and quietly wait for marriage? That could sound plausible, too, wouldn't it. But I don't. Because I respect your choice and I understand it is a choice you made. I don't try to make you sound like some ninny who can't figure how how his penis works. So don't categorize those of us who made different choices than you did as those who are lacking.
Hmm.... and get off the high horse.  | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/7/2007 1:22:26 PM | pre-marital sex is only pre-marital if you were even thinking about marrying the person. The rest is just sex. (Dr Phil....LOL)
I am waiting because I view my marriage as a time to figure one another out. I have the rest of my life to have that with someone so why rush into things? If I didn't have faith that it was a good choice and that sex will be something fun and something we can learn what each others needs, then I would be going out scrumping with whatever guy walked by.
Everyone has their own opinion of course and mine is usually opposite of most people. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/7/2007 3:58:42 PM | In some parts of the world, a woman was considered to be more fertile if she has slept with more men before marriage.
In other parts of the world, a woman used to be killed if she was found to be impure on her wedding night.
Most likely, both are still the case *somewhere*.
Not only that, but if you want the ultimate example of morals being subjective, I'll give it to you:
WAR.
~ David | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/7/2007 5:43:04 PM | | Well, I totally agree (I would think) with Sir Cheer. I myself am 20 and I am the same. I find it disgusting that people have no self-control. People who have sex before marriage (imo) have no respect for themselves or others, even worse so when it is unwilling sex or drunken sex. I have no problem in waiting until I am married. I have hungout with girls who just wanted to have sex and I never gave it to them. It's so effing disgusting to know that people have a one track mind. Waiting until marriage shows how strong you are, not having sex and living with your choice if it was wrong. I would think that most virgins are Taurus' because they are very stubborn, such as myself. I take great pride in being a virgin and if someone is going to take a shit on me for being strong, then they can go **** themself. I have no time for people who think testing the bed is important. Sex is for reproduction (mainly), pleasure and showing someone that you love them by engaging in an intimate activity. Having sex for pleasure only is disgusting and of course we have those people who feel that they are in love and so they have sex, complete b/s and I hate it. If you really loved someone, you would wait, respect them and prove it by waiting until marriage and then grow as one in the experience. You can never jump into bed with someone and expect it to be great, because it's just not possible. It takes time, hence why you're supposed to wait until marriage and then have the rest of your lives to get it right. It's a journey that many people do not decide to take because they have no patience, no morals, no respect and no self-control. Well, that's all from me for now... I might start cursing if I say anything more. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/7/2007 6:23:51 PM | I treasure my virginity. I'm proud to say I am still a virgin. We are a rarity. I'm waiting till marriage to have sex. I'm not even religious. I'm actually upfront in my profile about being a virgin. I know this deters many guys, but I'm being truthful to myself. Sure, I could've had sex many times, but who knows I may have gotten pregnant then had an abortion. That's not me though.
Do ya'll know President Bush waited for the sex till marriage with First Lady Laura Bush (who was a virgin)? And that Mitt Romney was a virgin when he married. I really admire guys who will wait or are virgins themselves. I actually have 3 guy friends waiting till marriage. 2 of them are religious (Christian & Catholic) and the 3rd is an atheist.
I especially shake my heads at religious people who preach to me. I ask them if they're virgins waiting till marriage. When they say "no", I then say to them they're not abiding by God's principles. After this, they're speechless. The exception was when 2 young Mormon guys said they're waiting. IMO - for religious people who wait, I think they’re the "true" religious people who set a good example. If they don't want to wait, they should become non-religious. I don't care what non-religious people do, as long as they practice safe sex and it's meaningful. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/7/2007 8:49:53 PM | | Amen to that. Rarity is right. And then we look like the bad guys? It's like there's something wrong with us because we actually have some sort of value when we get married. We have something to offer our partners. Pisses me off when people think sex is nothing special and is no big deal. Might as well just cut off your parts if it's no big deal, lol. Anywho... | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:40:37 AM | a lot of marriages end because someone doesn't pick their socks up off the floor, someone doesn't take the trash out, etc. How are you to know every single thing the other person is going to do ahead of time? My point is that there are always going to be things you need to work on in marriage. They end for a lot smaller things then the sex.
Waiting worked for a lot of people that I know and they have great sex lives as well. I just have to find someone with the same beliefs and then we're good to go ;) | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 8:30:21 AM | I can see why living together makes sense to some people, cool. It's not for me.
To me the only reason I would, would be because I didn't have enough faith in the relationship in the first place and that I would want to live like we were married without being married. Try before you buy mentality. Wouldn't seem like much of a point in getting married if you're already living like you are.
Just my thoughts but everyone is different. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 8:56:45 AM | I always wanted to wait until marriage but at a certain point of my life I just wanted to wait until I really cherish someone. Now that I'm all virgined out and had sex, sex is not all the hoo ahh people make it to be. If you want to wait until marriage that's fine. You should make sure you have a real connection with someone. Then when sex happens all you have to do is communicate. You can always work on sex unless you're with a dumbass. You can never work on a connection you and someone have. It's either there or it isn't.
I personally wait to have sex with someone until we're in a committed relationship. At least I feel comfortable enough to tell that person what I like and dislike and what I would like to try out. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 1:09:10 PM |
i agree that sex before marriage is a must. what if you wait until you're married and you find out you are not sexually compatible? a lot of marriages end because of sexual problems.
Ok, well you're obviously gonna have a heck of a lot of issues in your future relationships then. You can easily pleasure yourself by masterbation. Being compatible is basically you saying whether or not they can please you. You can bloody well please yourself! You don't need someone else to do it, you need someone else for companionship, love, help, guidance, shoulder to lean on, etc. Sex is being abused and put on a pedistal. Try not having sex for 20 yrs, then you can come back to me and talk about it. If you feel that sex is more important than honesty or something else, then you might as well be a pornstar. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 1:29:40 PM | OP: I disagree. Having sex before marriage gives you no fortune telling ability over how things will be 5,10 or 30 years from now... If that is a top concern then you are going to have problems that effect sex in the relationship.
Communication about sex before marriage is FAR more important. And the SEDUCTION style test on this site is a great tool for discussion. Getting to know the interest, openness, willingness to try different things, and energy level of someone can all be figured out without actually having sex. And it will surely turn you each on talking about it. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 3:56:50 PM | | Well thats fine, I know of someone who's been with their partner for a long and they aren't married, marriage isn't for everyone. I wasn't forcing you to get married ya know. To each his own on that topic, but this is about sex before marriage, meaning they are planning on getting married. And guess what? My head didn't explode. :D | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 4:05:56 PM |
Try before you buy mentality.
While I can certainly understand the desire for faith in the relationship, I grew up around too many unhappy people for that. I doubt my parents would have married if they would have lived together first.
I don't like the idea of divorce or unhappiness, and I think that a "trial run" can solve it. Having lived with someone before that I would have probably been willing to bond with, I think that it works for me.
But as you said, everyone is different.
Best of luck. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:23:59 PM | | imagine waiting for your first time til you're married, both of you are awful, have no idea what you're doing, and end up feeling upset/uninterested/depressed about doing 'that' for the rest of your married life, no ta, would rather learn a bit about it first, so that when i do marry, i know what i'm doing, and where its going wrong. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:40:21 PM | hmmm good point.
I'd rather learn what my husband likes then go through tons of other guys just so it's perfect the first night.
I know it's not going to be the most exciting thing ever the first time but it wouldn't have with anyone else either. (more than likely)
Hmm going into it with the attitude that it's something that you can't work on and learn from each other is being unrealistic. I look forward to learning and figuring out what we both need. I think it's a healthy attitude in my opinion. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 5:52:38 PM | The whole "tons" mentality always bothers me. No one ever said anything about promiscuity.
I've not been around that much... I believe in only being with people that you love.
It is certainly something that you can work on and learn from each other-- but a lot of people have certain inflexibilities. It's all about knowing what you want and knowing whether your partner is willing to give you what you need. | |
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