| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 6:00:50 PM | Who said tons? personally, I know I would be a completely different person right now if I hadn't lost already, and sleeping with other people has encouraged me to be less uptight about it, and to express myself and enjoy myself more during it.
I never meant to imply that you can't learn anything from someone once you are married, or that it would then be perfect the first time, I very much doubt it would be, but you can have an idea going in, about what you like, and about what others like. Personally, what I was like before I lost mine, if I had saved myself til I'd been married, and it just ended up being terrible, that could have affected me for years to come, and severely impacted on my sexual outlook in general, as I was pretty unsure of myself back then. Losing it to someone in the way I did was one of the best things I could have done.
But of course, different strokes for different folks and all that, I'm glad I chose my path.
And phew, with this post I should have now gotten rid of the vulgar ones on the bottom of my profile | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 6:13:56 PM | That's cool. Good for you.
I'm not uptight at all, my husband is going to be very happy. Of course I have to find someone who has the same views on sex as me then it's go time! Going into it knowing it's going to take practice and communication is fine with me. I think it's half the fun.
I am done with this thread.
I have enjoyed reading people's thoughts though | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 6:52:05 PM | shyhear1987:
you are taking my comment way to seriously! the forum is about sex before marriage, and you are analyzing me. i don't rank sex before respect and honesty, etc... as far as pleasuring myself, everyone does that, it's human nature. GET OVER IT! IT'S JUST A FORUM!
i have an idea, "mister i think i know what everyone ranks in relationships". start a forum on what people rank in relationships, then you can run your mouth off without appearing like a blabbering idiot! | |
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Beedo
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Joined: 11/29/2007
Msg: 54 | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 8:44:35 PM | Oh my why are some people over reacting about something that they don't have to do? Just because the whole world does not care for morals as much does not make us wrong for what we do.
The people who want to wait can but the ones who don't will not. We will do are thing and live are life as we please. Its not like we're all sluts for it. Its human nature. And masturbation doesn't cut it for everyone
Some do need more than there hand for pleasure.  | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/8/2007 8:51:42 PM |
I think that a "trial run" can solve it.
This idea isn't supported by the facts. People that live together are at a higher rate for divorce (if you choose marriage) than those that do not. But it's not because they lived together, it's because the people that live together possess distrusting, nervous, roaming, and/or other traits that predispose them for divorce. | |
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amje
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Joined: 12/1/2007
Msg: 57 | |
| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/9/2007 12:15:28 AM | I have very high morals as does my fiance, he has waited for OVER 30 years to have sex! Wow what an accomplishement for someone who has wanted to wait and has stuck to it.
Sex is a preferance, before or after marriage. Biblically speaking it is for a husband and wife, if it is done outside of this the bible clearly states that this is a sin, this is where most people have a bunch of guilt and shame if they beleive in Christ. There are others that sex is sex nothing more nothing less. It is wise not to condemn others for what they do and have done, be yourself, do NOT ever pressure someone into sex, women or men as this is clearly wrong | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/9/2007 7:47:05 AM | ^ Agreed. But this is the internet-- people are going to go about proving their point in the most antagonistic way possible.
Flyer- I'm not distrusting or roaming... perhaps I'm nervous... but statistics don't really matter to me. (I tend to trust to much, and I'm very loyal.)
Obviously it works for some people... and I can tell you that I would have married the last person that I lived with if there was a reason that we couldn't live together. -- That trial run helped us in the long run.
I think it's all about the reasons that you do it. I want to know someone the best that I possibly can before I marry them. So far I haven't seen anything that would indicate that it wouldn't work for ME.
I do know a great deal of things that don't work for me, though-- and that's a step in the right direction. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/9/2007 8:06:10 AM | Shyheart1987: Try not having sex for 20 yrs, then you can come back to me and talk about it.
Did you really just say that Shyheart? You are only 20 years old... so you not having sex for 20 years isn't all that impressive.
Personally, I'd rather date a woman who isn't a virgin. Of course I'm in a different age group then the OP and some of the other posters on this thread. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/9/2007 8:45:57 AM | It sounds like shyheart is having a hard time meeting someone his age who shares the same morals and religious believes. And now is starting to get frustrated that he will never meet that person. There out there somewhere. Just this world morals are slowly dying of more and more everyday. I need a man who isn't a virgin cause I don't want to be teaching them everything. I like a guy to know how to use it and please a woman. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/9/2007 3:17:17 PM |  I had always wanted to lose "it" to someone "special" or worth the while. But that didnt happen as planned, at the age of 16 I was rapped at gun point by my "best" friends cousin. For the longest time I had a hard time dealing with it since I never told anyone about it, because he told me he would kill me if I ever told anyone. In time I just learned to deal with it and move on. To this day I get called a Bit@% for not sleeping with every Tom, Dic* and Harry that walks along. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/9/2007 6:17:27 PM | | I'm still (reluctantly) a virgin in my 40s, because I've always been rather shy and introverted and never found a way to meet women. I very much want to experience my first time, but everyone tells me I'm making too much of it and I should expect to be disappointed. I wonder, how many people here found their first time disappointing? Or was it a life-changing experience for anyone? | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/11/2007 5:33:44 PM |
It's so effing disgusting to know that people have a one track mind.
Having sex for pleasure only is disgusting and of course we have those people who feel that they are in love and so they have sex, complete b/s and I hate it.
Soo..... I take it that you are trying to say with your post that you DON'T have a one track mind? Really. It sounds to me that you are so focused on NOT losing your virginity to the point where you sound like a fanatic.
C'mon. Obviously you've taken many hits and insults from people who make fun of you for being a virgin... but do you see any of those people here? No. We're all very accepting of each others choices in this thread.
But of course, your strong, hate-filled post is your opinion, and who am I to dissuade you from your beliefs? I will say this though... living your life with such resentment and bitterness towards people in general will not make anyone but yourself unhappy. I hope you can recover from your emotional injuries.  | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/11/2007 5:41:28 PM |
because they have no patience, no morals, no respect and no self-control
HmmMmmM and I thought I already disputed this? Who is anybody to judge whether somebody has enough morals or self-control over an issue of virginity? If virginity sums up the general term of "morals" for you, then I will say you have a very skewed sense of morals.
God, some people remind me of the people who believe no sex is safe sex. That is like lying to children about drugs and sex--as long as they don't know about these things, they won't do it, right?
Again, I will stress the word "personal choice." | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 12/11/2007 5:47:50 PM |
OP: I disagree. Having sex before marriage gives you no fortune telling ability over how things will be 5,10 or 30 years from now... If that is a top concern then you are going to have problems that effect sex in the relationship.
Communication about sex before marriage is FAR more important. And the SEDUCTION style test on this site is a great tool for discussion. Getting to know the interest, openness, willingness to try different things, and energy level of someone can all be figured out without actually having sex. And it will surely turn you each on talking about it.
Hmm. If I made sex sound like the most important factor of a marriage, then I apologize. I simply believe it is one "problem" out of the way. For the same reasons, I would not marry someone without having lived with them already. I understand these are issues you can deal with through conversation with your spouse--but how are you to strike up a conversation about something that hasn't even happened?
Communication about sex sounds helpful... but wouldn't you need to know how sex between the two of you would be like in the first place? Or else the conversation would just be a bunch of IF's, wouldn't it? Imagine:
"So... I think I like my nipples rubbed. I can't be sure because I've never tried.."
"Well... Ok... I think I can do that. How would you like them rubbed?"
"Err... I'm not sure really."
Inevitably the conversation might lead the couple into having to self-educate themselves through books or pornography. Either way... it would take away the romance from the relationship, IMO. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 4/21/2008 11:05:20 AM | Personally, I think that sex is natural and marriage isn't. I'd wait til I thought there was something going in the relationship before sex, but I've heard it's overrated though (at least the first time).
As for marriage, all it is for me is a contract and a vow. If I find "The One" and they want to get married, I will, but otherwise, I won't. Besides, last time I went to a church wedding the vicar started going on about Lord of The Rings in the middle of the ceremony:p | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 7/22/2008 3:21:29 PM | I always wondered - if 2 people are crazy hot in love with each other, do 'everything else' but the deed, are completely open and honest about what they like/don't like, can talk & communicate without embarrassment etc., and are dying to completely please their loved one in any way --- HOW can it go horribly wrong and be crappy? LOL makes no sense
it's one of those things on Person A and Person B can decide, together. Could be fantastic for them, disastrous for someone else. That's life. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 7/22/2008 3:32:15 PM | I had to wait until I was 25 till I met a woman that was willing to have sex with me. My virginity was a cross I had to bear for far longer than I would have liked or have chosen (that's what really irritated me - never having the choice)
The act itself was awful, disappointing and empty. I wondered - is this all there is?? I subsequently have had sex with people I cared for and found it to be a much superior experience.
I never had sex with the first girl I dated for an extended period of time, and I don't know if I could bear a long-term relationship with no sexuality again. Then again, if I cared enough about her, and she wanted to wait, I would consider it. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 7/22/2008 4:17:36 PM | raptor_red - I agree with what you said.
I noticed you posted in 2007, so did things change for you?
Like you, I finally put it in my ad, and it has nothing to do with
religion. I don' t even believe in organized religion. I think I scared
one guy away with that news, and that, I don't have a high falutin' career
like he does. Oh, well, I'm not going to lie and my romantic soulmate
will love me for who I am. | |
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| First time; And What Does/Did Virginity Mean To You.. Sex Before Marriage: A Must
Posted: 7/22/2008 5:07:08 PM | It all boils down to what you believe about the true nature of sex between a man and a woman. To me it seems perfectly appropriate for a young person to wait for a commitment before sharing themselves with another person in this way, though being a child of the 1960's I certainly did not. I am of the opinion that having sex with too many partners, especially ones that I did not have an emotional connection with, led to a sort of emotional dullness about it that did not go away when I settled down with one person.
As far as the try it before you buy it theory, a loving sex partner is not a pair of shoes and I don't agree with this reasoning at all. In my experience it can take a good deal of practice to get it going really well. It can change when you move in together and it certainly changes when children enter the picture. If people prefer to wait for marriage, they need to be prepared to make a commitment to do what it takes to get their sexual relationship to work.
My own preference is to view sexual relations as a very powerful form of intimacy that is not to be trifled with. It is a step that we both should be completely sure we want to take. We should talk about it beforehand and clarify any expectations or commitments that go with it. It means that we are taking a big step toward a long-term relationship.
Now of course my own preferences have to be bounced up against those of my partner. Whatever we decide together, it better be something we are both comfortable with. | |
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