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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 1:29:45 PM | but the "once a cheater, always a cheater" is bull.....
Sure, there is the possibility of living and learning. Chances are the person will cheat again. I'm not a pessimist, but I have never heard of one story where somebody was like "I gave him/her another chance and they've never done it since." I will give the thought some consideration if I ever do hear that. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:14:02 PM | | I forgave, but the trust was slow in coming back, which might of been the reason he cheated again. I think that if you love someone you should try to do what you can to make it work. When you love someone when is enough enough? | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:21:48 PM | | Sir yes he did, then he was gone. But that doesnt mean that the first time he messed up, i should kick him out the door. So I forgave him, and we tried to move on. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:31:48 PM | @ Lust Kitty
But, what if it happened with alot of the people you got with? Would you eventually get fed up and forget about the second chance? | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:33:32 PM | SM,
it did happen with one other, but I dont judge a man by the ones I dated previously. Yes I have been hurt, but that makes me who I am today, and no I do not regret the choices that I made, I learned from it and grew, and knew what to look for in the future. | |
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sddude
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Joined: 11/4/2004
Msg: 38 | |
| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 2:41:33 PM | I have been cheated on and forgave , it would be a lonely world if no one for gave .
Yes people learn from thier mistakes , kind of like sinning , .... you try not to do it but you know there is a possiblity you may fall . | |
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Webbum
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Joined: 1/18/2005
Msg: 39 | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:01:44 PM | Once again, like every other subject in these forums, this is very subjective to the case at hand. You need to supply more info for a worthy answer.
Cheating is a breach of trust and honesty, two of the cornerstones of any relationship. (I won't even bring up the issue of STDs or AIDs) That said, there are always underlying reasons for cheating that one or both of you are not willing to admit.
Simple answers are just that, simple. "Once a cheater, always......." may hold true in some circumstances, but not in others. You need to look specifically at your own relationship. How long you were together (faithfully), 1 year? 15 years? Kids? Many, many variables.
If you have been dating 2 years-living together for a year and he/she cheats, then the question of trust is broken and is hard if not impossible to get past or renew. Will they do it again? Will I have the chance to cheat and think it's OK to "equal" things out?
Early on (first 5 years) this is easily a deal breaker for me. That said, what about an otherwise faithful spouse of 10 years?...not so clear cut. There are many things to weigh out. MOST IMPORTANT, you need to find out WHY they cheated, from them (bored, once in a lifetime chance, old flame, just too drunk?). If they cannot or will not supply an answer, than it should be clear. Then, only you can consider if the reason (excuse) is worth the risk.
It all comes down to you. Don't be a push over and accept a pattented answer. It needs to be real and honest and make sense in your relationship.
This may be the hardest relationship question in the world. Good luck. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:08:06 PM | | well awaitingyu in my ex's case, it does apply and yes she has cheated on her new husband too. some people never learn from their mistakes. they keep making them over and over again. i wasn't trying to imply that everyone is like that, but it was how my ex ended up. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:10:54 PM | Tis happened to me. I did forgive him but the relationship went sour because i simply couldn't trust him - I couldn't trust a single thing that came out of his mouth. He was and did turn out to be full of shit after the first affair.
Out the door! Its just trying to convince yourself to do it.. Once you do it You will be happier for it... You need to keep dignity :) | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:13:35 PM | | fern GOod point fern. Forgiveness is letting go of the situation and not letting it have any power over you. When you can put it aside, then you've overcome and forgiven. Giving someone else a second chance is a whole new ball game. I don't think I could ever do it either. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:14:34 PM | try being on the receiving end to a person who was cheated on too? NOT FUN.....walls walls walls, I have to prove trust, I have to preove im not like the last jerk that messed em over....I hate that stuff...that's baggage to me.....you live it and you learn from it, you don't carry it on with you...
I am me, I shouldn't have to pay for the jerks before me, but for some I guess that's the way the cards fall....doesn't mean I have to be the next in line  | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:15:56 PM | | I forgave my husband for it, took me two years to talk to him curiously again, but then his affair resulted in a little boy who became my stepson. I was also pregant with our first child when I found out about it. As far as I know, he never did it again, but it did alter the depth of trust and dimmed my ability to really believe him for the rest of our marriage. It's never the same again after someone cheats. If I had to do it again, I'd walk. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:17:06 PM | | I've been cheated on a lot but I never let that affect a new relationship. I would never trust someone who actually cheated on me. I don't judge people by the actions of others. I've been through a lot and I have noooooo trust issues at all. I will trust anyone until they give me a reason not to. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:19:35 PM | | No, I don't think anyone who cheats should have a second opportunity! Obviously there is something wrong in the relationship if that person felt the need to cheat. That person should be honest and end the relationship if they feel the need to "get it" elsewhere. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 6/3/2005 3:22:36 PM | | i wouldnt trust him to be my lover again..nope...been cheated on in several relationships...and ended it..still friends w/one of the guys....but i would never be in a relationship with him again...its hard to earn my trust..and once ya break it...your outta my heart...and even tho ive been cheated on so many guys ive dated i know not all men cheat...so i dont judge all men by the as.sholes ive dated :) | |
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