| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 6:54:15 AM | MOST people only change to accomodate another...It will probably be short lived and their true colors will come back out.
A sincere change on their part will have to come from their heart.
Many varying factors come into play with this question...
Unfortunately....TRUST...is accompanied with test that many people fail....
but to never trust AGAIN...may be to never truly live again.
Me personally...(once again varying factors)...I gave the second chance....but chose not to hang around for the third strike....for fear that I'd just intentionally hit ya with the ball the next time...lol | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:24:15 AM | When you start a new relationship, you typically start with a small level of trust and slowly build up the trust as the relationship grows and matures. All cheating does is break down all the trustthat you have worked to grow over time.
Not only the trust is gone, but also the commitment (or the thought that you were the only one in his life). it can take a long time to get over the hurt before you can even think about trusting again.
I can have complete trust in an SO, but if he cheats on me, it all goes to zero and takes a very long time to regain, if ever! | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:40:23 AM | | I've found in the past that once that bond of trust is broken, you can't get it back. It spells doom for the relationship. cheating - that's like getting stabbed in the heart and whatever trust I had in them is forever gone. I would never put it past the guy to do it again - a leopard can't change his spots. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:12:53 PM | | Nope. You'd be lying to yourself. Next time they'll only be more careful not to get caught. I know several people who trusted again and think things are fine now but if only they knew what their 'reformed' cheater is doing they'd think twice. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:20:29 PM | It's easier to find someone new to trust than to go back and trust the cheater.
I myself don't take them back but know people who have done it only to have driven themselves crazy wondering what the other one is up to most of the time.
So living by example I don't take cheaters back! | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 7:44:15 PM | | No, once they cheat it is over. My ex cheated on me and I gave her sereral chances because I caught her several times. I stayed because I loved my kids but enough was enough. I ended up with the kids and the house. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/1/2007 9:02:00 PM | Well this is a hard one isnt it...Sometimes in life things arent as black and white as we would all ideally like, as a persons personality/background/stress levels and also events that have happened to them throughout theire journey is unique to us all.
I believe that everyone deserves a second chance, but for that to occur there should be a lot of communication and boundaries set in place so that each partner understands totally where the other person is coming from. Cheating is a betrayal no doubt about that and it hurts both partners not just the cheatee...But if you both decide to give it a second chance and are really firm that you want it to work out then I personally believe that decision is inevitably up to you! You would of course seek counselling, trust will take time to get back, but my philosophy is that none of us are perfect and if we all were written off by the mistakes we have made along the way then what a sad world we live in.. Dx | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/3/2007 4:57:03 PM |
if a guy or girl cheats can you trust them again and if so how?
Personally, no.
I've always believed that if there is something missing from a relationship that mitigated one of the partners to cheat in the first place, then just end it. Why extend the hurt? And why hold onto a relationship that's gotten so misshapen that they needed to look elsewhere to begin with?
It's a negative way to live life and definitely neither healthy or constructive.
People cheat for varying reasons. But whatever the reason, if the relationship is solid, there really is no reason to have wandering eyes (and other body parts). If it comes to that, then it's time to seriously re-evaluate that relationship.
.. just my 2centavos. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:17:57 PM | Nop regrets - I feel that depending on the gravity of the mistake, second chances are not an option. You speak broadly about making mistakes and think that writing them off is a harsh thing...not everybody writes people off after making a mistake. cheating however, is not just an "oops. Do-over!" kind of happening/mistake.
I've forgiven and gone back to trusting, after many mistakes, but certain things - when trust is so completely shattered like that: I wouldn't and I won't trust them ever again.
If you think that this particular kind of philosophy makes my world sad - so be it. I will happily write off any guy who screws around on me and not feel one ounce of guilt about it. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/3/2007 7:46:10 PM |
Sorry. It was an accident. I tripped, fell, and stuck my $^%& in her.
The same thing I asked one of my ex's that did it 5 times..... | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:29:34 PM | I recently discovered a married friend posting for intimate encounters on a "dating board." He used a current picture and the same nick he uses every where online. It was both shocking and expected. This man is a "serious" Christian who is very involved with his born again church. He has cheated in the past online and in real life, and his wife doesn't know.
The last time I communicated with him back in May he told me that he wasn't going to cheat anymore because it caused too much pain to people he cared about. I wanted to believe him, though since he cheats on the people he is cheating with, I had my doubts. It was still a surprise to find that he is getting even more blatant about finding partners to cheat with.
He is not an evil man, he is actually quite a good man except this cheating problem, but I would never trust him not to cheat, he knows its wrong on so many levels but he still does it. He has no excuses either. There are people like this, they think somehow it is ok. It has nothing to do with their partner and usually has happened with all their partners. As one of my old friends would say "They are thinking with their wrong head." | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/29/2007 10:42:18 PM | | you know what, i recently just cheated on my boyfriend, i feel so bad and you know what none of yous can sy anything, i know i will not do it ever again, i felt dirty absolutly asshamed of myself , i will never ever do it again ..........and you want t know something else it bothered him for awhile but he has forgiven me i'm only 21 and have two kidwith the guy, its was a mistake i'am not willing to do again! | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:23:06 AM | | In my experience, it's not the cheating that is hard to forgive, it's all the lies that go into it. I once had a boyfriend that said he was cheating, to avoid being confronted on a very sensitive issue, when I found out the truth... he wasn't cheating, I found it hard to trust him again, we are still friends, but not so emotionally involved so I don't care if he lies or not but I honestly think it's up to the particular couple, some people can and some people can't, it doesn't make cheating O.K. though!! | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:42:14 AM | | I've said it before i'll say it again every time NONONONONONONONNONONO and NONO andNONNONO Trust is forever lost when this line is crossed. And it obviously show how much they really care. Actions speek louder. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/30/2007 2:47:16 AM | HE double hockey sticks NO
dont you care about yourself where is your pride move on to better and bigger hopefully bigger things | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:26:35 PM |
you know what, i recently just cheated on my boyfriend, i feel so bad and you know what none of yous can sy anything, i know i will not do it ever again, i felt dirty absolutly asshamed of myself , i will never ever do it again ..........and you want t know something else it bothered him for awhile but he has forgiven me i'm only 21 and have two kidwith the guy, its was a mistake i'am not willing to do again!
rickilee, I am curious...
Why does your profile's marital status say "Prefer Not To Say"?
Thanks. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/31/2007 2:33:19 PM | | Long answer short, F no, F them and the horse they road in on. Ex wife cheated, Think my ex gf did too, can't prove that though. Am I bitter???, na, life goes on. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/31/2007 3:27:13 PM | | I tend to trust people more than I should, But I don't want to be that insecure, jelouse guy, Give me a reason not to trust you then its over, Not much you can do about it, Life goes on as I said, No you can't trust someone after they cheat, Obviouse answer to the question, Send them on their way, you will be better off. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/31/2007 3:41:26 PM | i was married for 23 years my husband cheated on me over and over i loved him so much i kept forgiving him. he actually had me convinced at one time it was my fault he cheated on me. I think everyone is different but finally the last time he cheated i left and got a divorce because i got tired of forgiving him. So because of that i would never forgive someone that cheated again. but ever situation is different people are different it has to be your personal choice if you'd forgive them or not. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 7/31/2007 3:48:18 PM | Re Post 490:
... This man is a "serious" Christian who is very involved with his born again church. He has cheated in the past online and in real life, and his wife doesn't know.
The last time I communicated with him back in May he told me that he wasn't going to cheat anymore because it caused too much pain to people he cared about....
Right!
"This man is a "serious" Christian who is very involved with his born again church"
No comment! | |
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