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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/14/2008 7:48:31 PM | | why would you do that, because you love him, well apparently, he doesnt... there are plenty of nice guys out there, why dont you give one of us a try next time..... | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/14/2008 8:01:12 PM | | Sure you can but it will take a while to trust again. I knew a married woman who's hubby cheated on her. He had to kiss her butt for a long time. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/14/2008 8:22:59 PM | I had a lady that was scared that I would stray - - - she had this happen to her many times - -
I said, it would take a lot to make me stray - - first, I would have to be drunk and I do not drink more than one drink so that is not possible and it would have to be combined with her taking the aggressive action of stripping down (naked or bra and panties) and sitting in my lap before she would even have a chance of getting me to stray - - - - and we all know that is not very likely - - - - as I would not be in a private place with her - - -
Jim P. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/14/2008 9:42:47 PM | | I for one have no interest in cheating, or continuing a relationship with anyone who would. If you want to see someone else, break up with me first and I promise I will do the same.... | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/24/2008 5:27:48 PM | The question should not be can you trust someone once they cheat, but will you. No one can ever answer that question. Everyone forms an opinion of their own and everyone has intuition. You go with what you feel, because some people change and some dont, only you will know. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/24/2008 6:24:43 PM | NO
Once you are in a loving relationship and have agreed upon not seeing anyone else if one person breaks the trust I think it is over.
If person gives everything, and will be a loving a trusting partner then the other should too without exception.
Oh Yesss..
I have been there and done that.
Oh your working late? Hmm
Over at a friends? Hmm
Still Shopping? Hmm
Gas Station? Hmm
I could never trust her again... | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:15:36 PM | | there must be a logical reason why they cheated....I cheated on my X husband he would not hear me out. I think if a woman is with another man who is not there husband it is ok but a man's infidelity is unforgivable. A woman looks for emotional lacking and if she strays for that it is forgivable and the husband should improve his skills but when a man cheats its for sex and that is a SIN...unforgivable | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:25:14 PM | | I was woundering how many of the divored people on this site is divorced for cheating and if they are will they tell thier SO before it gets to serious, now you are all going to say its none of thier bussiness but just think the SO knows you was married got a divorce what if they finnaly do meet your ex with out you being thier and it comes out why they divorced you. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/24/2008 7:37:22 PM | It depends on the situation and your relationship with the person, how long it lasted, whether or not the person was honest and upfront about it and discussed it with you first.....
If their is alot of sneaking around and lying and the person has only admitted it because they were caught out then I think the answer is NEVER
If they admitted and owned up to the situation and discussed it openly and honestly then maybe its worth working on ............ Sometimes a relationship can become distant and both parties are unhappy not just the one who cheated and the cheating is jsuta fall out from the underlying problems, sometimes sorting out the problems can solve the issues.......... | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/25/2008 10:35:55 AM | Yes i agree you will always be wondering if they would cheat again, living life looking over your shoulder..I personally couldnt live that way...
I got cheated on 3 weeks into our engagement, i threw his sorry ass right out the door, to see him scuttling down the path pleading his innocence was pathetic...
Why do people that cheat still try and deny it, i mean i would have rather him looked at me i said, ok i hold my hands up, i done it, not tell me a million and one lies, co incidently the girl rung him on his phone ater he left.(he was in such a hurry to leave he left it here)..she had no idea he was engaged or even seeing anyone..he rung that night and said she had been gunning for him and was upset he got engaged, to right she was!!
She told me he had cheated on her loads of times..i said wise up and do as i did...
No i agree. kick a cheat to the kerb and get someone who respects you. cheaters have no respect for you or themselves!!...They also tend to be very insecure...
Thats just my two penneth worth and my views
Karla
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/25/2008 12:19:51 PM | NOPE!
cheat once trust is broken.never able to have full trust again.
thats the way it works for me.thats why i dont want no stinking cheater
theres no excuse for cheating.if u are not happy with someone break up with them its that simple.
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:53:35 AM | No !!!!once a cheater always a cheater. It breaks the bond of trust. Been there more times than I can imagine. Heard everything you could even imagine. Go to work at 4:00 am and not come home till 11:00 pm. Delivering uniforms. Ummmmm.... Find telephone numbers on the pager bill. Call them and a female answers. UMMMMM..... Go to work and come home to find emails that have been sent to an ex girl friend and an ex wife of him confessing his undying love to them. Wanting them back. Trying to pick up a young girl and get her to have sex with him in a dressing room at a mall. Loses his coat and keys to a car I have bought him that is in my name. Because he lets a female put it around her arms standing outside the hotel he is working at. She goes off and leaves without giving him his coat back. Have to get the car rekeyed. He doesnt' want me to file a police report and the story keeps changing. UMMMMMM..... Once you catch them in one lie and they are cheating. It will keep going on and it will never stop. They don't respect you or themselves for that matter.
Yvonne | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:59:13 AM | | It depends on if you are married or not and whether children are involved. If not, no, not really. If Kids are involved, ultimatum. Full stop, or show the person the door? | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:57:33 AM | yes, I've said it bedore and I'll say it again; yes I could learn to trust again. I could learn to forgive again . Plus, you know what's kinda wakd?.. People say all kids of stuff, I know I have about my old friends, my exboyfriends, especially my exhusband( mostly cause it hurts so much to talk or think about him) I am trying to move on. Blahh, blahh, blah.  | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 6:29:56 AM | Hmmmm...I think cheating is kind of like robbing a bank. The first time a person does it, it is difficult, terrifying and the person might feel guilt ridden. I believe it only gets easier for the person after that 1st time. Easier to do...easier to hide...and is done with less 'provocation'. (There is NEVER a valid reason to cheat! I don't care what the circumstance). Ah...no...at least not for me - I can't trust a person if they cheat. Done. Over. No going back.
Deb | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 7:27:34 AM | | NO. If someone cheats on you and you give them the opportunity to do it a second time, it now is your fault. I have learned that the hard way. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 11:10:53 AM | Cheating can come in many forms - from lying, to conning, to manipulating, to being secretive, to not placing you first above all others in your relationship, to meeting with others in inappropriate ways that might be considered cheating whether it is or not without letting you know, or being up front with you, when both you and they know they should have been, to outright covert cheating with someone else.
There are people who do these things as a matter of normal behaviour. They rarely can control or help themselves. In any event, what we are talking about here is "trust". Trust broken is trust lost and trust lost is trust gone. While love is blind and will tolerate many things, and continue to hope for the best, once trust is lost, all hope of all things that should come with a relationship is also lost. Things like security, feeling special, knowing you are loved, being able to believe in that other person and their feelings for you. It gets replaced by constant insecurity, feeling cheated and hurt and not special at all, wondering if you are loved or ever were, and always wondering whether you are being lied to or being made a fool of. It is one of the worst forms of abuse. Emotions like anger, hurt, jealousy, bitterness, doubt, paranoia begins to enter into all aspect of your relationship and being. These are ugly, awful, feelings that can lead to serious depression and terrible thoughts and deeds.
If you have been cheated on in any way, it is no reflection on you, but the person who did the cheating. Hard as it may be, get out, save yourself from the rot of your becoming what that this cheating person can corrode you into. They do not love you. They do not deserve a second chance. You deserve better. | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:37:41 PM | As someone who has never cheated but been cheated on, I can say that the thing that has always troubled me the most was not the sexual thing that occured with my partner and her "other guy" ... but the betrayal of trust and the deception that occured.
I've always had a very open attitude about the possibility of something like that happening due to the nature of my past / present profession and the amount of time I was required to be away. Always had "the talk" with someone prior to getting deep into a relationship that essentially went like this ...
Me: "... due to the nature of my job and the amount of time it requires for me to be away, I know that your seeking something outside of the relationship could be a possibility and I just want to address this now. If you ever feel the need to go outside of the relationship to scratch that itch, just be honest and tell me beforehand ... honor me and what we are building before you do the deed and be open and honest about where things stand ... it's all about respect and, though I may not like what I'm hearing, at least everything will be on the table and things will have been handled in an honorable manner " ... at least with everything out in the open, we could have mutually decided to have an open relationship or allow the thing to morph into something else ... friends with benefits, perhaps?
She: "Oh, that would NEVER happen. I would NEVER cheat." or " Oh, I'm not like that ... I looovvvvveeeee you".
When the deed did occur, my partner always ended up realizing that it was NEVER about the sex outside of our relationship that was most upsetting and a deal breaker ... it was the total disregard for the truth, the intention that went into "the act" despite my addressing the possibility and giving her the chance to deal with it accordingly and for the lack of respect shown not only to me but too the commitment ... so I guess that I could forgive the person for the tryst, but the damage has been done and I see that person through new eyes ... I would certainly choose too not engage that person with any part of my being after all is said and done.
I've always been honest and upfront about things and expect the same ...
Perhaps I live in a fantasy land ...
jeffery | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 12:54:24 PM | If the person you're with is "cheating" trust me, they've done it before, and will do it again...once a cheater always a cheater....I just spent four long years with someone who told me "on the phone" that they had been cheating on me right along, and probably did so on his wife....the grass isn't greener somewhere else...but these people have to find out the hard way....stay clear.....you deserve better than that....
Coral Roses | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 2:40:33 PM |
Me: "... due to the nature of my job and the amount of time it requires for me to be away, I know that your seeking something outside of the relationship could be a possibility and I just want to address this now. If you ever feel the need to go outside of the relationship to scratch that itch, just be honest and tell me beforehand ... honor me and what we are building before you do the deed and be open and honest about where things stand ... it's all about respect and, though I may not like what I'm hearing, at least everything will be on the table and things will have been handled in an honorable manner " ... at least with everything out in the open, we could have mutually decided to have an open relationship or allow the thing to morph into something else ... friends with benefits, perhaps?
Jeffrey, so did anyone ever do it another way? That is, the way you asked for?
--Ms. Flis | |
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| can you trust some one once they cheat?
Posted: 4/27/2008 3:06:41 PM | I've had a few relationships that ended on a better note and not everyone with whom I've been involved has cheated ... after clearly defining "the why", some of those women went their own way and found someone who was able to give them the time and attention they sought while, with others, the dynamic of those relationships did, indeed, change and we continued to see one another, but not exclusively ... those people did choose to honor me and my request, all the while understanding that if my / our situation were different, then things would be different, as well ... odd thing is ... many of those women are still involved in my life on another level as the thing that drew us together ... the real reason we bonded ... was not compromised ... we still remain friends and some of those women even call me to discuss their relationship issues with their current partners, which is kind of ironic ... but those who cheat do so without any real regard for others ... they tend to be selfish and self - serving more than anything, I believe ... and don't give any real thought to the damage that is done by such a thoughtless act. If the relationship isn't working ... for any number of reasons ... get out ... move on ... but do it with grace, respect and honor.
jeffery | |
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