| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:00:07 AM | | he didnt burn you you burnt your self.alot of poeple do this give up the booty to earley then blame the other person he onley got away with what you let him.and please dont take it out on the next guy because women do this all the time smarten up stop letting this happen welcome to the real world of lies and deseet. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:16:14 AM | Not to sound like a sap, but to me intimacy and serious relationship go hand in hand.
If in the heat of the moment things were to wander into a serious area and she had said before that she doesn't want a serious relationship. I would wonder if she would get scared that things got too serious then reject me for "forcing" her into a more serious relationship than she wanted.
For most people, it is easier to reject than be rejected. So if this man might have rejected you before you could reject him.
It is "M.A.D." Mutually Assured Depression. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/5/2008 9:31:18 AM | I have to agree with this...
Sure I might come back for a bit more for a few days.... But once you've given it up, you've taken away the "thrill" of meeting someone new. The chase is over, the hunt is over...
People ask why anyone would go to that much trouble if all they want is sex. Well, ever watched the amount of effort it requires to score in a football or hockey game? Men are wired to set goals and then go about winning them. If the man's goal is to have sex, then he will expend an amazing amount of effort to achieve it. Some men set the video game to "Novice" most set the video game to "Hard" or even "Impossible". The outcome is the same (if we win) but the getting there is the part we enjoy.
Have sex too early, it's the same as winning the video game on "Novice". If I didn't have enough fun, there's no more playability. I'm back off to Future Shop to see what's waiting on the shelves that I haven't tried yet... Likewise, I'd be off to the local club or bar to see who's waiting on the shelves that I haven't tried yet... | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/5/2008 12:20:15 PM | wau that is like applying for a really good job position hard to get hold of, preparing CVs, filling in tons of application forms, passing different stages of interviews and tests. Once the job is yours you resign it and go off to look for another one | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/5/2008 5:20:20 PM | actually true players/seducers never let a woman they've seduced go.
Most will be pretty upfront and state their intentions of strictly dating until they find the right one.
That way they will always have multiple partners in the loop and always someone to fall back on when times get tough. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/7/2008 6:36:43 AM | This forum has pages and pages of posts from women who have OBVIOUSLY been used by a man or been treated with contempt
You all want answers ... why why why???
Use your head .. why do you think??
IF THEY CAN THEY WILL!!! .. put em all out with the trash where they belong and keep your legs crossed  | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:02:54 AM |
What I am getting from the Op is that she is more bothered about the fact that he disapeared without even a word after having sex with her. I think this is what most people are not picking up on here.
No, I think THIS is what most people are not picking up on here. From the OP:
I contacted him to ask what's up, he made some lame excuse, and disappeared for good.
Since we don't know the time-frame involved (did he "disappear" for one day? two? two weeks?), the nature of the OP's "asking what's up" call, or the nature of what she described as his "lame excuse" (not to mention the conversation that followed), it's just as likely that the guy had no intention of pulling a disappearing act until after he got a shot of verbal venom over the phone.
It's one of those "I'd love to hear the other side of the story" situations. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:08:13 AM | | Look what he said was right, easy come easy go and frankly you got to go the other route first. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/7/2008 9:58:50 AM | Been there...done that.
Look, once he had "the goods" he had everything you had to offer a man didn't he? I mean you already said you two took time to get to know each other and then he closed the deal with you.
He then thought about you and decided "NO" You feel burned? Why, because every man who's met you and you let into your bedroom hasn't fallen in love? You didn't work for him...pure and simple.
I've done the same thing followed by a polite email saying just that, but get some scathing letter back about being "used". PLEASE! Most men that have anything going on could have sex any time they want. They don't need to date someone for awhile and listen to them endlessly to try to get them in bed.
You're dating...they don't all want you and sometimes they don't know at first blush, but NOW YOU KNOW! Thank him for what you had together and tell him you're sorry you weren't what he was looking for. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/7/2008 3:42:36 PM | OMG .... are you kidding me... guys like you are rare ...thank GOD..
not all men are out for 'the kill' or 'thrill' of meeting someone new and "conquering "them, putting another notch on the belt.....
and to compare us to a video game (m church), grow up ....lol....
People will date and have sexual relations at a time they are both "feeling it"... if it doesnt go any further, then OH WELL...... ya gave it your best and thats why its called dating...... the time , and amount of dating before it happens is different with everyone, some people have sex the first night and end up having very long relationships......... IT'S ALL ABOUT THE CHEMISTRY........ | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/7/2008 8:01:48 PM | | Unfortunately for some men it's all about the conquest. Once their goal has been met then all interest is lost and time to move on to the next persuit. I'm sorry you had to expierence this first hand. Please don't let it sour you on the rest of us. Not all men are the same. I do wish you luck in finding the person you are seeking. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/8/2008 1:59:17 AM | | You chose a bad person; he's into the sex and nothing more. He initiated the relationship of sex; not anything else. once he got that, the game was over. choose more wisely. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/9/2008 4:41:41 PM | SOOOO, the big big question is , how do we choose? how do we not know a man in 'disguise'......how do we know a "nice guy" from a guy trying to get laid ?????
The poster of this thread also stated they had dated and talked for a few weeks?
So what signs should be looking for ? | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/9/2008 6:45:33 PM | ^^^ good question, but we all know, there are no 'signs'.
Granted, and unfortunately, men be honest here......it's you who run faster than women if they are just looking to get laid.
YES! There are women out there who are just looking for that but man wouldn't it be so much easier if you posted in your profile 'intimate encounter'? You can weed us out and we can weed you out.
What a perfect world that would be. Ain't gonna happen. We all use our sexuality, personality, humour, etc. to get what we want in ANY arena. Dating included.
It's happened to all of us at one time or another and no, it doesn't feel good. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:14:03 PM | | As I always told my girls when they were growing up, the only line you can believe is, "You're worth waiting for." | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/9/2008 9:27:23 PM |
Dumped After Sex
Most (not all) women see sex as the definative beginning of a relationship.
Most men dont think about a relationship (even while they're actually in one)... til after they've slept with a woman.
Why, because every man who's met you and you let into your bedroom hasn't fallen in love?
I personally wouldnt let a man into my bed unless he was.
Anyways...thats why guys get labelled as players etc .
Dont sleep with women you arent interested in...particularly if you know they have feelings for you. Cos frankly...otherwise you deserve every name you're called.
Just because you're a man and have testosterone coursing through your veins...is no excuse for being selfish and an ass.
Dont care how hard your d!ck is, use self control. You gotta accept responsibility for your actions.
^^^
That works for both sexes treating the other like crap. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/9/2008 11:10:12 PM | | try not to put out so fast next time and then blame the guy..Honestly, we don't know the whole story, it could have been anything you did, you are jumping the gun here | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/10/2008 5:27:04 AM | Sounds like he was high
on 'thrill of the chase'.
People exist who concious or unconciously
strive to ride to the top of the 'rollercoaster,'
once accomplished, it's 'been there ,done that'. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/10/2008 12:08:46 PM | | My two cents -- there are some women who view sex as glue to keep guys interested in the relationship. Once they have sex they become much more "territorial" re the guy. They suddenly want to know where he is at every moment and who he is with. I can only speak for myself, but if a woman does not change how she interracts with me after we have sex, nothing else will change and she will continue to hear from me. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/10/2008 2:01:51 PM | there is other, more simple, explanation.
some women have puss size too big for a guy's penis. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/11/2008 5:51:24 AM | My thoughts..
1. If after months of emailing, IMing phone calling and meeting you didn't have a clue that you were being played (if indeed you were) then you seem to be making a lot of effort and emotional investment for very little pay off. Maybe you'd be better off sleeping with your next date sooner so you don't waste so much of your time and effort (or his), if he secretly just wants to move on afterwards. Maybe you spent too much time talking about yourself and not finding out about him.
2. Maybe he didn't actually want to sleep with you, but as you mentioned, things just happened during that date. Maybe you gave him some signals, made him feel it was right thing to make a pass back at you and the two of you just went with it. Afterwards maybe he decided that dimension wasn't what he wanted.
3. Maybe he prefers all the lead up and chase but not the actual sex (sounds a bit like a woman, who only wants a man who is a challenge to her and then loses interest in him once he's become wrapped around her little finger)
4. Maybe he met someone better than you who doesn't play mind games or who seems to have an attitude that suggests she enjoys sex as something for her, and not some kind of ultimate reward for a puppy-man onces he's jumped through enough hoops to feed her ego and salve her low self esteem.
5. Maybe he was gay (so, back to item 1)
6. Maybe you have some really disgusting ideas about sex that he isn't into, but he was too polite (or scared of you) to decline once he was naked, or maybe he thought he'd try it once, but then decided on reflection you were not his thing after all.
7.Maybe he worked out that you are too insecure for him, regardless of what you may think of yourself and may post in this forum.
If you don't want to have an adult relationship with a man, then maybe you should stop interacting with them. What were you on POF for?
Actually maybe this is the case.. you are playing at being a victim even though you've had a relationship with a man that you really enjoyed. Don't try and deny you weren't enjoying it as it was he who ended it not you. You'd have carried on until YOU felt it was time to end it (and then you'd have come up with similar or more lame excuses (I want to be challenged.. he's boring.. I'm not attacted to him anymore etc etc)
"It gives the rest of you a bad name. No matter how I look at it, it seems to me I've been burned, played and used, and it won't bode well for the guys that come behind him, I'm afraid." - That speaks volumes about your victim attitude, and shows you attempting to justify your continuance of a flawed system for relationships despite the lessons that life is attempting to teach you, and instead blame men for your failings. | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/11/2008 2:30:00 PM | | Apperently you gave him what he wanted! | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/11/2008 3:32:49 PM | | I for one am still waiting to get dumped after sex. But that would mean I need to have had sex . | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:05:21 PM | | Yes, men and women alike experience this... I have also... but I soon realized that when that happened to me - I was taught a lesson... Instead of beating myself up and wondering "what did I do wrong"..."maybe my hair was a mess and he didn't like it" - I thought to myself (after a couple of weeks)- Bull shit!! I looked great and I was great in bed and I'm still getting attention from other men... It's not me - it's him!! His loss.... When I finally "let it go" - he called and wanted to chat...I still "chat" with him, but I'm not in a big hurry to repeat the mistake... Lesson: Get to know somebody first before you go to bed with him/her... There are a lot of guys (and girls) who are looking for one night stands - and men (and women) will say anything to get it... M | |
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| Dumped After Sex
Posted: 5/21/2008 4:09:18 PM | MMMmm..sounds like this here fella I use to know from here,but I don't kiss and tell  | |
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