| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/12/2007 3:53:55 PM | Has anyone noticed the OP hasnt' came back in for a few.. I wonder if she took all the Advice we have given her on the care of her grandchild..
OP where are you | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:02:49 AM | | for all the pofers who critisised my profile to see what sort of mother i am. No im not a pole dancer im a belly dancer clothes do not come off. I said yes to doing drugs because i smoke dope. i dont drink and dope works well for me. I would never take man made drugs and have disscussed this with her many times. We had a very open relationship where we spoke about everything. Thats why she told me about the swingers club. I have another older daughter who works in childcare and we are currently sharing my little grandson. Im just waiting for her to come to her senses hopefully sooner than later. Thanks for all your advice. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 4:21:17 AM |
My daughter is 23 and her boyfriend is 44 im cool with that.
Sorry, HUGE problem with this. But, I'll put it this way. When your daughter was born, and a 21 (difference in age) year old person came into your daughters room and said, "One day I'm going to have sex with you." Ya, it's disgusting. Just because she's over 18 doesn't make it morally right.
What worries me is that he takes her to swingers parties.
Doesn't sound like she has a boyfriend. Just a sex partner. At least that is what she is to him.
I have to wonder if he genuinly loves her if he lets others see her parts that should be for his eyes only.
Your daughter has a mind and a mouth. Needs to dump the "daddy" figure. Just because he is old, doesn't make what she's doing right. It's the excitement. Him being a 44 year old, she's getting Daddies approval. She needs to "step up" and be a mother to her son and he needs to "step off" and grow up himself.
IF she abusing an illegal drug. IF she is abusing/mistreating her son. Then you might want to go for custody of your grandson. PLEASE NOTE THE IF'S!! You might want to do some research on how this is done in your state. The internet is a excellent resource. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 4:29:13 AM | | She's old enough to screw up her own life and still young enough to get away from this creep and start a new. I wouldn't force the issue. But personally I'd be gettin some dirt on that guy. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 5:36:02 AM | Where the hell is her dad ? If I were her dad I'd have knocked this **stard's teeth through the back of his dirty little head years ago. On top of that, she'd have cleaned up her act as far as the drugs go because she wouldn't have custody of her kid (my grandson) until she got that crap sorted out.
This is just plain disgusting. Man, I want to go down there and boot some heads just from reading this. Swinger's parties ? What the **** is that ? CHILDREN TO THINK ABOUT !!! "Oh...it's okay, we just like to have others watch us." Right. And Bill Clinton didn't inhale. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 8:53:32 AM | | Sorry OP, but the title of this is very misleading. You just want to find out if he really loves her and everything would be okay??? This is a very sad, sick situation! It's child neglect with many things, including illegal things going on. I do understand your feelings though, of not wanting to be banished from the child's life. You would be justified in stepping into this situation further and finding out what can be done about you taking over temporary guardianship of him. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 10:27:55 AM |
No im not a pole dancer im a belly dancer clothes do not come off.
Before Anyone 'attacks/shreds' ^That claim^...
-There is Some $ to be made , by 'Belly Dancing
*though, depending on Where ya live/Level of skill/Opportunity of Venue/Age,Appearance
Can be...Not very lucrative , Usually Does require 'supplementing'
-NO , the clothes do Not come Off
*however, again - Depending on ^...'audiences' Can 'wish that they Would' , have the Same 'feeling' , As...'Other Dancing shows'
As for the 'smoking dope' - um, Any/All Drugs are...well - BAD *shrug*
Only ~hope~ that OP realizes this , someday , Begins to See/Understand...
Just 'where/what/how/Why'
*The Use of Any D R U G s Can seriously affect the 'outcome of parenting'
Some may Not recognize the 'OutCome' of 'smokin some pot' , as/while their children grow up - But? the 'message' that sends , the LongTerm effects ? Well, they Do Seem to be ...
Showing their 'Evidence' Now -no?
So, *Conclusion*
Gramma , Auntie are Looking after/Out For , zee CHILD = GOOD!
Seems like the 'Best case Scenario'
(having Strong , Loveing Family Support will go Much 'Further' in HELPing the child-than
Getting Any 'Agency' Involved)
For those that are Ignorant to the Actual (FACTual) 'workings/NON workings'
OF ? such 'agencies' ?
~Rest Assured~
The OP , Sister's HELP ...IS = Better
*Good Luck* to yer WHOLE Family | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 11:57:45 AM | | OP A 44 year old guy, going around with your 23 daughter, although thats not ideal there is nothing wrong with it. The problem is taking her to swingers parties and performing for others, taking ecstacy and not been a good role model for your grandson. Bloody hell woman , get a grip and tell your daughter to lose the loser. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 12:39:55 PM | | Hell no and if a guy ask me that about someone I was with he would be lucky if he didn't get punch in the mouth,if you really love someone you don't disrespect them like that you instead defend there honor. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:57:10 PM |
I have to wonder if he genuinly loves her if he lets others see her parts that should be for his eyes only.
I believe that is for them to decide, not you. It might be only for your mate to see YOUR parts but who may or may not see whose parts and what experience they get out of that is pretty much their business. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 1:59:02 PM | I would never share my girl friend in this way orany other sexual way.
2) this relationship sounds way to weird, drugs etc. age dif. a little to large for serious relationship I would think.
Go get your grandson, and talk to a lawyer about getting custody.
By the way you did not mention the grandsons Dad where is he, I do not think that he would be to happy about this kind of behavior if he knows
Good Luck OP: | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:04:57 PM |
2) Takes her to swingers parties. This isn't love, it's demeaning.
I'm sorry, I thought I lived in a country where people had the freedom to choose. As long as everything's consensual their sex life is really nobody's damn business - even if he *was* sharing her with other people. Unless he was putting a gun to her head, that's her choice - and I've always been under the impression that one of the tenets of feminism was that a woman's sexual freedoms were her own.
Unless, of course, it's only okay up until a certain number. So, folks, how many is too many, and who gets to decide?
(Sincerely, WB - who knows people who are into some seriously hard-core shit that'd straighten your curlies...) | |
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jimi77
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Joined: 7/13/2004
Msg: 65 | |
| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:08:05 PM | | Hell no.. I don't share when it comes to that.. it only leads to trouble.. and if i love her why would i want to share her with anyone else? I want her love for myself.. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 2:44:08 PM |
I'm sorry, I thought I lived in a country where people had the freedom to choose. As long as everything's consensual their sex life is really nobody's damn business - even if he *was* sharing her with other people. Unless he was putting a gun to her head, that's her choice - and I've always been under the impression that one of the tenets of feminism was that a woman's sexual freedoms were her own.
Well, it may not have been a gun to here head but it doesn't mean she's going of her own FREE WILL.
I know a woman who endured swinging with her husband because she thought by pleasing him, he would love her more. She now has a lot of issues with depression and health resulting from all the stuff she did. She told me at the time she was naive and although she thought at the time she knew what she was doing, she now realises how she was manuipulated. It took her years to realise she was being used so her husband could f**k other women. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 4:35:46 PM |
Well, it may not have been a gun to here head but it doesn't mean she's going of her own FREE WILL.
I know a woman who endured swinging with her husband because she thought by pleasing him, he would love her more. She now has a lot of issues with depression and health resulting from all the stuff she did. She told me at the time she was naive and although she thought at the time she knew what she was doing, she now realises how she was manuipulated. It took her years to realise she was being used so her husband could f**k other women.
Still, unless he physically dragged her there and forced her to do things, she was still acting of her own free will. Being duped into making stupid choices isn't the same thing as being made to do something, IMHO - she could have always said "no, he's not worth it" and left.
She made the decision to debase herself in order to please this fool, not him.
Now, in the OP's case, it's hard to say, but the daughter seems fine with it. Here's another key point... she's not actually swinging. She's still only doing things with her husband, they just let other people watch. A bit different than "sharing her sexually", if you ask me. It's still a f*cked up situation because of the drugs and the kids, though.
All I'm saying is, some people enjoy swinging, and it's not because they're damaged. They just don't feel the need to adhere to (IMO) outdated notions of sexual 'ownership'. The immediate leap to "OMG, they swing, she must be damaged" is far-fetched, if you ask me. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 5:20:54 PM | | It will never last so let her make her own mistakes and suffer the consequences. If she allows him to have this behavior and shes letting him give her drugs shes just lovin it too . She will also end up switching partners eventually at these parties. She will end up losing her child. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 7:45:14 PM | Quite honestly (and undoubtedly brutally), if she continues to take ecstasy, you won't have to fight her for your grandson, because she will be dead.
If she is using it often enough, call Children Services and report anonymously that she's using. They'll investigate and may well demand a drug test.
You can either step back and watch your daughter throw away her life, or take subtle, anonymous steps towards protecting your grandson (first and foremost) and maybe shaking your daughter up enough that she gets her life back on track. | |
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jdb57
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Joined: 6/20/2007
Msg: 70 | |
| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 7:45:47 PM | | I think it is awesome that you and your daughter have an open line of communication. You need to take advantage of that and confront her about this problem. Hard drugs never played a positive role in any mother's or child's life so it needs to be eliminated from her life. The whole swinging lifestyle is sick to me and she would be better without it in her life, but the hard drugs are definitely the first step. If she does not comply with seeking professional help with you then I would suggest looking out for your grandson's best interest and seize custody of him in court. Sometimes the right course of action is also the toughest. | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/14/2007 8:01:07 PM |
All I'm saying is, some people enjoy swinging, and it's not because they're damaged. They just don't feel the need to adhere to (IMO) outdated notions of sexual 'ownership'. The immediate leap to "OMG, they swing, she must be damaged" is far-fetched, if you ask me.
I have a problem with the whole notion that just because someone does something one wouldn't do themselves, then they must be stopped. Just because someone wouldn't do that themselves doesn't give them the right to tell someone else what they can and can not do behind closed doors. It is fine to decide not to engage in that kind of behavior. It is NOT fine, in my opinion, to tell someone else that they can't engage in it just because you don't want to engage in it. What's next? Criminalization of nose picking?
Apparently the daughter really wants other people to watch her have sex. She is doing in a place where everyone there expects to see sex. That she is having sex is not a surprise or thrust on anyone unexpectedly. Sex between consenting adults was not, the last time I looked, a crime. Letting another consenting adult watch (or participate) was not a crime last time I looked. There is not a law that I can find that says sex by more than two people in one room is a crime. One might not like the idea but who cares? How is it hurting you if someone else is getting their rocks off? I just don't understand how someone can get so upset because they heard that someone else was doing something they wouldn't engage in themselves.
If my daughter were that age and I found out she were engaging in an activity along those lines, I would make sure she has the best information she can have to protect herself and after that it is ultimately her decision. What I *think* about it doesn't matter. I can not expect her to live her life simply to please me, at some point I am going to expect her to please herself (so to speak). | |
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| If you loved her would you share her sexually
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:25:13 PM | I don't really have much use for swingers. It's simply (non) monogamous people trying to seem like they can actually live within (monogamous) societies rules.
I'm polyamorous (more then one girlfriend, they have more then one girl/boyfriend) and let me tell you-Most monogamous relationships are really just long term sexual relationships with a label.
If she's having fun, then whats the problem? If a man and a woman can BOTH make decisions about what they enjoy sexually, how is it anybody else's business? Perhaps it's because she already ENJOYS the idea and wants to do it, that has brought her into this situation.
Every woman is a freak, with a man who is accepting and will not judge her. EVERY person. You just have to tear away the societal bullshit programming.
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