| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 1/23/2008 8:04:07 PM | | wow! ya know,i sometimes think that myself.what with all the "wrong" women ive dated in my past and all.if only i could somehow get to the point of "oh well" i prolly would be better off! | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/11/2008 9:41:30 AM | | Yes....Me. The only relationship I'm even remotely interested in is the FWB deal I have with a friend of over 12 years. My past relationships included a wide variety of different types of men...none of which would ever make me happy in a set relationship. I'm so much happier when I'm NOT dating! | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/11/2008 1:47:10 PM | | I'm not good at relationships at all! Everytime i try and commit to the "one" that I think is good for me we always argue, there is no or little communication, or we just can't get along for anything. I'm pretty sure that i'm gonna be an ol'woman sitting on my porch, by myself, watching my grandkids or great grandkids play. So, I have gave up on trying to find and make a relationship work. It ain't worth it!! | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/11/2008 2:13:48 PM | well my doctor ask me one day what is it with you finding the wierd one's i said i have no clue i must be a magnet.
But also i had women who say there interested and want to talk and then after one night they dont talk any more my friend told me they dont deserve you and i believe what he said there are to many picky people out there and some are to selfish to.
and some only care for there needs and not the other.
i feel for ya dymepiece83 i do i understand what your saying some time's i just give up because it gets frustrating after a while. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/11/2008 2:59:51 PM | I am torn on this-I want to believe there is someone for everyone...yet, some people have experiences that stop them from developing normal patterns of behaviour...making it really difficult to form normal relationships.
Children raised in home where no love is expressed...or growing up with a fear of abandonment....and not ever being able to trust another living soul-all prevent relationships from blossoming.
I dont believe these people were not MEANT to be in a relationship...but thier life experiences will make it very difficult, even painful for others to be in one with them. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/11/2008 7:47:32 PM | | Yes... some people are truly not meant for long-term romantic relationships. Either it's not in the proverbial cards, or they just get to a point in their lives where they are so used to being single that their life would have to change significantly to accommodate a close romantic relationship. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 11:57:42 AM | But it all boils down to this ok,
it's not that people are not ment for a long term relation its how are world is today there are so many out there who forgot what life is all about or even what love ment.
It all has to do with money,or look's ,or what ever.
what ever happend to the old day's where 2 people would meet and guy would pick flower's and have a nice picnic?
Not any more it's more spending tons of money to wine and dine and is that a relationship thease days oh god.
Or what if the person was handycap or disabled they have the hardest time finding some one because no one pays attention to those type of people thats why people just give up because it's not just finding the right person but also it's hard to find some one to asept you and thats how are world work's.
I know people who do live on there own and is used to it but it's the way they like it but the ones i know are in relationships you dont have to live together to have a relationship if to people choose to have it that way than so be it. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 12:12:02 PM | | i totally agree with the part about the world these days...i guess maybe i have to get in the "times" but i dont want to lol..i am old-schooled..old fashioned..i believe there is much work in a relationship and if people just put a little effort into it as they do trying to find the "right" guy we wouldnt have all these "dating" sites..i know i have blew a few minds when i tell them that money, dining out, fancy cars dont mean a thing to me..matter of fact..dont try to impress me with your "lifestyle" when it comes to that because it doesnt do a thing for me...dont take me wrong..i love going out and having a good time, but i am truely a cheap date lol.... | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 12:27:20 PM | dear dojero ,
If i could shake your hand i would you 1 out of many who is a strong believer in that i mean god did they break the mode when they made you lol.
I know they did on me my profile says it all lol.
I think that people out there should realy think what there doing because they would never know if the right one was there in front of them because they have there mind set on some thing differnt.
And then when the time comes when they get old they think back why was i so damn picky i could of had that person or i could of been happy by that time its to late .
This world sicking's me it was totaly differnt many years ago i like to live live simple iam not in to Material thing's because it dont make the person any better it only shows thats all they care about. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 12:30:28 PM | I think it is assumed in a lot of these comments that it is unfortunate if one is not meant to be in relationship. I think the really unfortunate ones are the ones who are meant to be in relationship but can't find one.
To me, the deciding factor in terms of whether one is "meant to be in relationship" or not is happiness. If you are happier living alone than living with someone else, then you are not meant to be in a live-in relationship, which is the kind most people eventually want with their partner.
So why would it be unfortunate to not find someone to live with when you are actually happier living alone? That's a good thing. If you are unhappy being alone, then you are meant to be living in relationship. So then it's just a question of finding someone you can happily live WITH. I don't think there is anyone so messed up that they can't live with anyone if they are someone who is happy having other people around all the time in the first place (someone happy living with others). It's just a difficulty finding someone you can live with when your dating criteria is more about finding someone you can sexually pant over, increase your standard of living by association with, or some other criteria that doesn't really determine actual personality and lifestyle compatibility. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 3:42:03 PM | 1/ Some women just dont have the looks to pull a man.
2/ Some women have serious personal problems which put a man off completely.
Things like paranoia, cant keep their eyes off other men or are drunks.
3/ Some women are simply dishonest with things like photos years out of date ! Believe me I have met a few.
4/ Kids can be a big problem in some relationships, after all the man will always come a poor second to the kids. Who wants 10% of a womans attanetion when you can get 100% from a woman without kids ?
5/ Some women are seriously terrible when it comes to sex. "I am not doing that" is a classic line. A huge turn off for men. Sex needs to be kept adventurous and exciting.
6/ Some women are just social climbers looking for a professional man to satisfy their need for status and money. Sadly quite often this type doesnt often have the looks or personality to satisfy a professional man. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 3:44:02 PM | | I am wondering that self same thing myself after another failed relationship but there is a voice louder than that one saying that i simply havent met the right person which i believe is truer and i think why should i be on my own no man is an island and we deserve to be loved no matter what you think of how good you are in a relationship yes some people are better at maintaining a relationship than others but thats not to say they arent fearful of it going wrong just as you are. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 3:56:45 PM | I definetely believe some people are best off on their own. Whatever their reasons may be.
Personally this is a rather new decision for me but Im definetely one of them and no idea why. Ive had nothin but good role models and my friends that got married young still are etc. Basically though I thrive on my own and Im happy. For a long time Ive looked for a partner and thinkin bout it, is cos of the words 'why are you single?' so basically Ive tried to conform in life.
Im at my most miserable in a relationship. Ive had lots, been loved, cared about etc and sometimes felt happy but mostly overwhelmed and pressured.
In a relationship Im demandin, moody, mardy and unconfident. Im on my own now and Im happy, I like my solitude I guess and doin things my own way and at least I now have identified that and stopped makin other people unhappy! If your happy on your so be it but if your not then its a problem x | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:10:25 PM | I sort of feel like you do. I have been trying the dating thing and it isn't that I don't feel that I am not good at relationships - just feel that the guys I am meeting are not either ready for a relationship or just want sex without the relationship. I would like the opportunity to meet someone that wants to build on a friendship first and keep going from there. I don't think they are out there.
And why do so many guys just look at your profile and seemingly over and over and never write. How does anyone expect to find out if you are compatible or not???
Anyway, don't give up just realize that you are possibly not meeting the right kind of men just like me. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 4:17:39 PM | I'm not meant to be in a relationship outside of a FWB.
People say a real relationship is a 'team effort'.. you can try and be part of a team all you want... if your partner isn't going to meet you halfway, then why carry the whole relationship?
keep the relationship... i just want the sex!
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:25:01 PM | | To message 7 Yeah i was a beliver of that too, but im finding out that maybe Im not meant to have anyone (unless she is nuts and has some deeprooted issues) Sometimes i think i should just give up... | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:36:50 PM | | People with personality disorders have problems. Like Bi-polar disorder, narcisstic personality, and also borderline personality disorder.... these three are the worse... also some types of depression. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 6:41:31 PM | I believe often people find someone with desirable qualities, attraction and they try to "make" it work. It's someone they have a desire to be with so they overlook some basic incompatibilities and then it ends up going south.
I do believe there are some core essentials that makes someone a good potential partner or not. That's really hard to gauge until you're actually making decisions together. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 7:01:22 PM | Interesting comment Smileee4u
Narcisstic and Boderline Personality disorders are a psychological disorder that bascially is not treatable unless the "sufferer" agrees to undergo intense Psycotherapy. Most will not even recognise that they have a "problem", so accordingly getting them to commit to therapy ...would be hard going...these people in some peoples eyes should not be in a relationship..,,, and its fair to say that they are somewhat destructive on themselves and each other so you can understand where their "judgers" are coming from.
However bi polar disorder and that is exactly what it is, a disorder..a lack of chemical - seratonin flowing thru the brain (simplistic explanation) - which is treatable by the taking of drugs - mainly lithium...to correct the balance within the brain....they arent entitiled to love and be loved ? Because they were born with a chemical dysfunction ?
And people who suffer from depression....which by the way 1 in 3 people do and MOST if not all people will suffer from some form depression at some stage during their lives due to lifes circumstances - loss of job, partner, relocation, divorce, illness etc...Arent they entitiled to love and be loved too ?
So if we based our "Who shouldnt have a relationship" theory on what you have said...then I guess diabetics shouldnt have relationships either..they have a chemical imbalance as well...and have to take insulin every day...a extreme example granted, but where do you draw the line ?. And by excluding the depression sufferer, you just isolated almost all the worlds population !!!
Not judging you, but thats a huge call to make...
Are some people not meant to be in a relationship ????..................................yeah my ex but thats a whole other story !!!! | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 7:30:26 PM | If the women of the world outnumber the men, and all people are made to be in relationships, there is going to be a lot of disappointed women or a lot really happy men.
Don't let relationships, or lack of, the search for, define your life. Bachelor, bachelorette ,
those are things , not people. Live your life be happy, and if you have some one you want to and CAN share them with , be happy they're there, if not don't mourn the absence of some one you've never met. | |
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| are some people not MEANT to be in relationships?
Posted: 3/13/2008 7:37:18 PM | | I feel this way about myself quite often........I've never been "lucky" in love or relationships. I have only been in two serious relationships my entire life and I am almost 40 now. Was married once for 11 years (on paper) but it was basically all a sham. I have "fallen" for many women but few have felt the same about me. I do believe that there are some people in this world who were meant to be alone. Perhaps I am one of those people myself, I have just been in denial for too many years. | |
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