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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:14:34 AM | If he's like this after 10months imagine after 10yrs!!!
Ide get out fast before you have no self esteem left,he shows no respect for you,clearly prefers to spend time with anyone else who's handy then back to you, who doesnt appear to mind!What a self centered,disrespectful man......and you need to ask what to do?!!! | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 12/18/2007 12:34:32 AM | There are so many red flags, and warning signs flying up it's a wonder you can see
one foot in front of the other.He has definately put you and your priority's on
the back burner,and it does'nt sound like it's getting any better.
It's time to unload this psychic vampire, and all his damage somewhere else. | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 12/18/2007 7:05:45 AM |
OP: He will say that i either got dates mixed up or misunderstood him when he does change his mind.
Msg 52: Stop getting your dates mixed up and everything will be fine. Oops - Looks like guest appearance by "boyfriend" who then deleted his profile!  | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 2/7/2008 12:33:29 PM | I have two questions for you. What would you have done if, at the beginning of your relationship, he had laid down the ground rules as you now find them?
Why is now any different? why do you put up with it?
I thought it fair to answer these questions that i failed to before.
What is different now that at the beginning of our relationship which makes it difficult to just turn away is that I FELL IN LOVE WITH HIM
You see falling in love for me is not easy and i dont do it lightly.
All the well meaning advice of "dump him", "run dont walk" etc is much easier said than done.
Love doesn't knock on my door everyday. I was married for 15 years to a man that took me for granted, disrespected, seldom was affectionate(unless convenient for him) and cheated on me.
Subsequently, dating multiple men after my marriage ended, i came to realize something, while there are a ton of men out there, if one is lucky you may find that ONE which you have much in common with/interests, enjoy each others company, have a powerful chemistry, passion, communicates, listens and showers you with affection.
Affection and communication, in particular, are powerful things.
Despite being in multiple relationships in the past, i have found that men in general are not very affectionate or display affection mostly when they want sex and they tend to not be very communicative. They don't listen.
After all these months of dating he still holds my hand continously, holds and kisses me impromptu in public or private (and not just when he wants to be intimate) opens doors at all times, has long conversations with me and actually listens.
He also has a great sense of humor and is there for me when i need him (for the most part).
I find all these qualities to be rare in men, especially since he's the only man i have been with that possess not just some but all of the above.
Naturally, I fell in love with him.
And now i have to decide whether to stay or walk away. Knowing full well that i may never again find another man that possess all the qualities that my boyfriend has and ones that made me fall in love with him in the first place.
It would be much easier to walk away if i wasn't in love. | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 2/7/2008 1:17:44 PM | One more note:
No one is perfect. We all have some degree of faults. Not defending just making an observation.
I do think that one of his faults happens to be that he can be a bit on the immature side at times.
From what his friend explained to me, is that this is out of character for him and seems to be a new found thing since his divorce almost 2 years ago.
From what my BF explained to me that despite sacrificing so much for his wife for years, even his own convictions and giving everything he had of himself, he ended up being shunned, ignored and treated poorly as if he didnt exist or didnt matter.
He stuck with the marriage for years because he loved his wife and wanted to try to make it work.
But as soon as her only daughter (from one of her previous 3 marriages) graduated HS she went on a trip with a lover and came back to ask for a divorce.
His friend also mentioned that i am the longest relationship my BF has had since his divorce and that I need to give him "time".
I will give it some more time but in the meatime i am moving further away.
I don't want to see him everyday as i have been. I think seeing each other so much is hurting us. | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 2/7/2008 8:29:54 PM | His friend also mentioned that i am the longest relationship my BF has had since his divorce and that I need to give him "time". I will give it some more time but in the meatime i am moving further away.I don't want to see him everyday as i have been. I think seeing each other so much is hurting us.
Seeing him everyday as you have been (based on what you have said) is hurting your relationship. I would recommend limiting seeing each other to twice a week at the most for a while and see where it goes from there.
As far as time goes, out of curiosity what sort of length of time were you looking to give him? | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 11/29/2008 8:03:20 AM | Well, it is obvious that the relationship is over between the two of you. He may be trying to make you break up with him in order avoid any conflicts later on. Some men are not strong enough to tell the girl that they have been dating (for however long a period of time) that they want to go their separate ways. Why??? You may ask. Because if the guy breaks up with you and you are in love with him, then chances are that you are going to pester him until he either concedes or gets back in the relationship with you or he has to get mean and ugly with you, and he may not want to do that. Ending the relationship with you is most likely more difficult and complicated as you two only live a block away from each other and would/will run into each other on occasion. People rarely change from their true being. It is probable that he has always been the way he is and will not change his ways unless he makes a concerted effort to change and even then he will relapse into who he truly is. Most people put up a facade in order to gain another person’s attention. We all make adjustments in order to gain social acceptance by either their peers or environment. Dating is not any different and in some cases an extreme adjustment to gain his/her attention. Too many relationships are created under false pretenses because we all want to capture the person’s attentions so; we place our best foot forward. This typically does not last long as we let our guard down and our true selves begin to emerge. This seems to be the case with your boyfriend. When two people commit to a relationship, even to date exclusively, there is an accountability that has to be emplaced. I am probably rambling on and on so, I will end this.
Good Luck
Frank | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 11/29/2008 8:23:22 AM | I have a question...have you considered that perhaps he should have a medical exam?
This doesn't sound like he's an insensitive ass, to me this sounds like he has a medical issue.
While it may be hard for you to convince him of this, I think it would be a really good idea if he seeks a Dr's appointment as soon as possible. This could be very serious.
Good luck!
Oh dammit to hell and back! I got sucked into an ancient thread!~ This poor dude is probably DEAD by now!!!!
I HATE OLD THREADS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ACk.
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 11/29/2008 9:28:17 AM | Hi Ladydallas,
I have a wonderful book about just the topic you are struggling with. It's titled, "Why Men Love ****es". Please excuse the "B" word, it is made in jest. The author is Sheri Argov.
What the author ties to convey to the (female) reader is we are often TOO NICE. We twist ourselves into pretzels to please our men and get treated poorly in return. I must point out that the advice it offers to always be polite and kind, but to hold our own emotionally, finacially, and spiritually.
I hope you pick up this book at the library or get your own copy . I found it to be a great help with dating and avoiding overextending myself for a man.
Best of luck, you sound like a very nice person,
LTDL | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 12/6/2008 6:50:08 PM | | I agree with all the other posters...he is an inconsiderate self-centered jerk. And I don't think he is going to change. My ex was the same and frankly,it took me awhile but I finally accepted the fact that he was taking me for granted and thought I would always be there when plans were cancelled or he would make plans without consulting me or thought it was ok to just swing by at the last minute and have me drop everything. It is called LACK OF RESPECT. Then I realized this was probably one of the main reasons his past relationships failed. I don't care if he wasn't like this in the beginning of your relationship...he is beginning to show his TRUE COLORS now. I am sorry hon but sounds like you will have to drop him. Your time is precious and he doesn't give a rat's ass. His behaviour now is indicative of how he will treat you in the future and in marriage. | |
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| Can anyone take a guess as to why a man would behave this way?
Posted: 12/6/2008 8:35:04 PM | lady dallas, i have to agree with the other posters - kick his unthoughtful ass to the curb.
And, not that anyone should put up with mistreatment or settle for less than the best, but I checked out your profile, you are beautiful, you can write your own ticket. come on... | |
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Sefra
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Joined: 9/8/2006
Msg: 66 | |
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